What Did Ancient Humans Do at Night (Why Can't I Sleep)

What Did Ancient Humans Do at Night (Why Can't I Sleep)

For so many ADHD brains, nights aren’t restful, they’re busy, creative, and wired. You’re exhausted, your head hits the pillow… but suddenly you’re wide awake, building entire business plans in your mind while the rest of the house is out cold. But that might not mean you’re broken. Ancient human sleep patterns, artificial light, and the hunter–farmer theory explain a lot of what is going on with you. In this episode, I look at how our nervous systems evolved to keep us alive in the dark, why two-phase sleeping may actually be your brain’s default setting, and how modern schedules, school systems and blue light clash with that old wiring.  I share several gentle, practical ways to work with your rhythms instead of fighting them, staying calm enough to sleep enough and to be able to lend your child your nervous system when they are too wired to fall asleep. EPISODE REVEALS * Around 70–80% of adults with ADHD have sleep problems. Their brains aren’t ready to switch off when the body is tired.   * For most of human history, people slept in two phases. A first sleep, a wakeful, reflective window in the middle of the night, then a second sleep until dawn. When artificial light is removed our bodies do this naturally. * Blue light suppresses melatonin and fragments our sleep, keeping our brains convinced it’s still daytime.  * Learning calming techniques to trigger sleep helps you to get calm. Allowing you to in turn help your child who is also struggling.  * What looks like behaviour issues is often a dysregulated nervous system. A brain built for being always on the lookout for sabertoothed tigers rather than for modern life. BEST MOMENTS "We're living in a world where we've got alarm schedules, early starts, school systems. All these things that don't match how some brains actually work, particularly ours." "If you can model the calm, that's going to help you, then, that's going to help your child." EPISODE RESOURCES ADHD Chatter podcast with Dr Shyamal Mashru   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuNCL7spFNs [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuNCL7spFNs]  Zenn - What Did Ancient Humans Do at Night? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st_Ah6Ykbh4 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st_Ah6Ykbh4] Insomnia is the most common sleep problem among adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6299464/ [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6299464/] https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1528979/full [https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1528979/full] RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD [https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD] What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR [https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR]   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister [https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister] X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD [https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD] HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/ [https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/]

From Punishment to Partnership: Positively Parenting Neurodivergent Kids with Lauren O'Carroll

Let me ask you something uncomfortable. Can we punish neurodiversity out of our kids? If  they shout ground them. If they swear, take the phone. If they melt down, raise your voice louder. Will that fix it, or are we trying to discipline a nervous system that's already overwhelmed?  Today, I'm joined by Lauren O'Carroll, founder of Positively Parenting, a professional ADHD coach as seen on Channel Five, and an ADHD mum raising neurodivergent children. She works with parents navigating explosive households, emotional dysregulation, and burnout.  Today we're taking a deep dive into the problems with the  traditional approach to parenting, exploring her framework for what Positively Parenting actually means, and how to shift from punishment to partnership.  If your house feels like carnage. If your child is having explosive meltdowns, struggling with emotional regulation, or shutting down completely - this episode is for you. EPISODE REVEALS * Build a “second path” in your brain. Regular meditation or mindful walks gradually creates an alternative path in your mind you can follow instead of the one that leads to you getting angry. * Regulate yourself first.  * Treat behaviour as communication, not defiance. Ask “what need is unmet or what skill is missing?” * During meltdowns, prioritise safety over stopping. Let the stress cycle complete.   * Match your child´s intensity, not their behaviour. Empathise with them and acknowledge how they are feeling e.g. say “that really pissed you off” at roughly their energy level.  * Sometimes space is the therapy. If your child clearly says, “go away,” respect that, step back but stay available. BEST MOMENTS "In order to be a good parent, I had to be regulated, and I just couldn't be, because I was so tired. And I've always struggled with emotional regulation." "You´re not a s**t parent, you have ADHD." "I've come to understand is it's all about nervous system and supporting our nervous systems and supporting each other." ABOUT THE GUEST https://positivelyparenting.co.uk/ [https://positivelyparenting.co.uk/] https://www.facebook.com/LaurenParentCoach/ [https://www.facebook.com/LaurenParentCoach/] https://www.instagram.com/positivelyparentingtogether/ [https://www.instagram.com/positivelyparentingtogether/] https://www.linkedin.com/in/positivelyparenting/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/positivelyparenting/] https://www.tiktok.com/@positivelyparentingloz [https://www.tiktok.com/@positivelyparentingloz] RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD [https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD] What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you:  https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR [https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR]   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here -  https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister [https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister] X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD [https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD] HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the. He offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/ [https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/]

Body Doubling, Chunking and Hope: Practical Executive Function Support for Autistic & ADHD Students with Dr Tara Williams

What happens when your child is doing fine academically, but socially they're drowning? They might understand the material, they can answer the questions, they might even be top of the class, or maybe they're struggling academically because of the environment. Either way, there's an impact, the transitions, the crowds, the shifting expectations, the executive function load. It's building, and slowly you see the cracks, the missed assignments, the shutdown, the avoidance.  Today we're unpacking what's really happening when bright autistic and ADHD students suddenly start struggling, and the practical ways we can support them to thrive.  I'm joined by Dr. Tara Williams, a specialist in executive functioning support for autistic and ADHD students. We're talking transitions, university pressure, body doubling, chunking, self-advocacy, and why sometimes the difference between shutdown and success is a small structural change most systems overlook. EPISODE REVEALS * Bright autistic and ADHD students don’t suddenly go off the rails. Environment matters as much as curriculum: crowds, noise and constant transitions can easily push a child off track. * Executive function struggles show up as lost items, missed deadlines and blank screens, not lack of caring. Often, this gets misread as laziness.   * Body doubling, visual supports, timers and chunking big tasks into tiny steps make starting possible and build confidence over time.   * Self‑advocacy is a skill, not a switch; parents can offer structured support now and gradually hand over emails, planning, and conversations to their child.   * Struggling isn’t failure, it’s feedback about what needs to change. BEST MOMENTS "You get school avoidance, depression, then they're not socialising, and they're feeling lonely, but they don't want to go in because they're going to be bullied - there's a spiral effect." "I love body doubling, it really helps." "It's okay just to be you." ABOUT THE GUEST www.innovativecollegiateconsultants.com [http://www.innovativecollegiateconsultants.com]. Taras's book - The Neurodivergent Student Journey - https://a.co/d/0eEbjOII [https://a.co/d/0eEbjOII] Instagram: @learningwithdr.tara  https://www.linkedin.com/in/tara-williams-phd/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/tara-williams-phd/] https://www.youtube.com/@learningwithDrTara [https://www.youtube.com/@learningwithDrTara] EPISODE RESOURCESFamisafe Parental control App: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD [https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD] What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR [https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR] The Mandela effect sci-fi novel https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/2017413402 [https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/2017413402] Eva: https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT/ [https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT/] CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here -  https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister [https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister] X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD [https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD] HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast.  Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/ [https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/]

5 “Normal” Rules Neurodiverse Brains Struggle With (But No One Talks About)

Neurodiverse people aren’t broken – we’re wired differently. What works for most other people doesn’t always work for us, especially when it comes to getting things done, motivating ourselves and handling stress. In this episode I dive into five common phrases parents that can really backfire with ADHD and autistic kids (and adults): “just try harder,” “be more disciplined,” “break it down into smaller tasks,” “use a planner,” and “stop being dramatic.” I share gentler questions you can ask instead, and ways to respond when your child is overwhelmed rather than “acting up.” This episode offers practical, compassionate alternatives to the rules and phrases most parents are told to rely on to keep their children moving forward in life. EPISODE REVEALS * Typical parenting phrases e.g. “try harder, be more disciplined, get organised, stop being dramatic” often land as shame and misunderstanding for neurodiverse kids. * Telling someone who is already trying harder than most people to “try harder” is hurtful and very demotivating. * For many ADHD brains, “break it down into smaller tasks” and “use a planner” quickly turns into endless over-planning and overwhelm. Nothing actually gets done - simple, messy action beats perfect systems. * ADHD brains run on dopamine, not sheer willpower, so building in regular, genuinely enjoyable breaks works far better than slogging away relentlessly at a task. * What looks like drama is often a dysregulated nervous system after a day of masking, noise, and pressure. Respond accordingly. * Be kind to yourself - you don´t have to fight against your own system. * If your child does need support, calm yourself first - you're lending your nervous system to them. BEST MOMENTS "It turns biology into a character flaw." "Working harder in a system that isn't designed for us - this is what your children are going through, and this is why you know they're burning out." "You're not undisciplined, you are working against more friction." "Do not over plan – perfectionism is something we are guilty of." RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD [https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD] What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR [https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR]   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here -  https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister [https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister] X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD [https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD] HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/ [https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/]

Getting Access to The Right Type of Assessment with Lisa Bond

Today, Cliff welcomes Lisa Bond, who is herself neurodiverse. Lisa is a training, learning and development specialist who has hands on experience of counselling, advocacy, and litigation for neurodiverse families. Lisa works for AYC Psychology who offer a range of neurodiverse assessment services and is the founder of Impact Training. She lives in a Rainbow house of neurodiversity she and her son have ADHD, and her two daughters have autism. Together, they discuss whether the NHS or private assessment route is best, what a good assessment should look like and how to get one. They also cover why flexibility and providing choices works better than ultimatums, the positive role humour can play in neurodiverse households and tips to help you to navigate family life and the assessment process. EPISODE REVEALS * If you choose to seek a private consultation, make sure they are properly qualified, use standardised assessments, proper equipment and are following NICE guidelines. * If someone hesitates when you ask about their qualifications, that is a big red flag. * Offering someone with neurodiversity a choice rather than an ultimatum usually leads to better outcomes.  * If your child is coming home exhausted, recognise that as a sign your child is masking. They are not coping despite appearing to do so to their teachers. * The equality act is very clear that you do not need a diagnosis to get adjustments put in place. But realistically you will struggle to make that happen. * Be kind – to yourself, your kids, and the people around you, including those you are seeking support from. BEST MOMENTS "Nobody would go private if the NHS were providing what we needed." "Look at the Google reviews. It is important that you get a really good assessment." "If you can understand the why….you can look at the right techniques." "You are processing on a different operating system. The whole world´s on a MAC and we´re on a I don´t know what this operating system is." EPISODE RESOURCES www.psychologyassessmentservices.co.uk [http://www.psychologyassessmentservices.co.uk/] www.impacttrainers.co.uk [http://www.impacttrainers.co.uk/] CLIFF´S SOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD [https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD] What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR [https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR] The Mandela effect scifi novel https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/2017413402 [https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/2017413402] CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here -  https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister [https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister] X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD [https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD] HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/ [https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/]