#60: Why High Achieving Couples Lose Connection and How to Get it Back

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Why do so many ambitious, successful couples end up feeling more like roommates than romantic partners? It's rarely because they stopped loving each other. Most people assume intimacy begins in the bedroom. Andrew and Kiana Joyner believe it begins at the kitchen table... in the everyday moments where partners feel heard, understood, appreciated, and emotionally safe. When those moments disappear, physical intimacy often follows. In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with therapist-and-coach team Andrew and Kiana Joyner to explore what actually keeps love alive when careers, parenting, ambition, and everyday responsibilities compete for attention. Whether you're entrepreneurs, professionals, parents, or simply two busy people trying to build a meaningful life together, this conversation offers practical tools you can start to use today. In this episode, we explore: Why emotional intimacy is the foundation of physical intimacy Why high-achieving couples often put their relationship on the back burner without realizing it Why feeling understood matters more than agreeing, and the common misunderstanding about love languages How unresolved hurts quietly create exhaustion and distance in relationships Practical ways to become more intentional with your time, communication, and shared vision The difference between mature and immature communication, and a simple practice that creates repair The actions that actually create lasting connection (since insight alone doesn't change relationships) Lasting love isn't built by accident. It's built through small, intentional moments of understanding, appreciation, and repair. About Andrew & Kianga Joyner Andrew Joyner and Kianga Joyner are a therapist-and-coach team who specialize in helping individuals and couples create emotional clarity, deeper connection, and lasting transformation. Together, they help ambitious couples and successful professionals build stronger communication, greater accountability, and relationships that thrive emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Guest Resources Website: https://www.souljourneyproject.com/ [https://www.souljourneyproject.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/souljourneyproject [https://www.instagram.com/souljourneyproject] Resources from Shana Take the quiz to find out what keeps you from having the best love and sex of your life: https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/ [https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/] Schedule a consultation: https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult [https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult] Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: HDF76SDCD7O26RO5

#59: The Dating Move That Tells You Everything (Before You're in Too Deep)

Many people enter dating determined to avoid conflict. They smile through uncomfortable conversations, overlook comments that don't sit right, or convince themselves they're being "easygoing." Especially for those dating after 40 or dating after divorce, staying agreeable can feel like the safest way to protect themselves from rejection or disappointment. But according to relationship and dating coach Shana James, this habit often prevents people from discovering whether someone is truly capable of building a healthy relationship. In this solo episode of Practicing Love [https://shanajamescoaching.com/1-practicing-love-intro/], I, Shana James [https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/], share the third move in my series on transforming modern dating. While the first two episodes focused on creating an honest atmosphere at the start of a date and staying connected to your own experience throughout the conversation, this episode explores what to do when something doesn't feel quite right. Most people respond to uncomfortable moments in one of two ways. They either smooth things over and pretend nothing happened or they emotionally check out of the conversation without saying a word. Although both reactions are understandable, neither helps you learn whether the person sitting across from you can handle honesty, curiosity, and emotional intimacy. Instead, Shana encourages listeners to do something surprisingly simple: acknowledge what you're experiencing. Rather than accusing your date or making assumptions about their intentions, she recommends expressing your own internal experience. A sentence as simple as, "Can I say something honest?" followed by sharing what you noticed in yourself can completely transform the conversation. This isn't about creating conflict or turning a first date into therapy. It's about inviting authenticity. When you honestly express a small moment of discomfort, your date's response becomes valuable information. They may become curious, defensive, dismissive, or open. Every response reveals something about their emotional maturity and their ability to navigate real relationships. Drawing from years of coaching experience, I share story of a divorced client who repeatedly invested months into relationships before discovering important incompatibilities. By practising this simple shift, he learned to recognize emotional availability within the first hour of meeting someone instead of months later. The goal isn't to test people or create uncomfortable conversations for their own sake. It's to stop performing and start discovering. Together, the three shifts in this series create a new approach to dating—one rooted in honesty instead of approval, curiosity instead of performance, and genuine connection instead of self-protection. Rather than hoping love happens by chance, you begin creating the conditions where authentic intimacy can grow. CHAPTERS Why Small Moments of Friction Matter in Dating The Cost of Staying Silent to Keep the Peace Emotional Maturity vs. Emotional Avoidance The Third Shift: Speak Your Truth with Honesty How to Say "Can I Say Something Honest?" What Someone's Response Reveals About Them A Real-Life Example of Honest Dating in Action The Three Shifts That Create Authentic Connection Building Lasting Love Through Openness and Presence Final Thoughts: Practicing Love After 40 Connect with Shana: Website: https://shanajamescoaching.com/ [https://shanajamescoaching.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/ [https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/]

2. juli 202615 min

#60: Why High Achieving Couples Lose Connection and How to Get it Back

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