Reclaiming the Gentle Man

Ep. 52 - Defensiveness to Understanding (Your Reconnection Code, Part 3)

15 min · 15 mei 2026
aflevering Ep. 52 - Defensiveness to Understanding (Your Reconnection Code, Part 3) artwork

Beschrijving

Most of us have been called defensive at some point. And most of us, when it happens, are pretty sure we have a good reason. In this episode, we look at what's actually happening underneath the defense — what we're protecting, why it feels so necessary in the moment, and what it costs us in the relationships we care most about. We get into why being right so often loses us the thing we actually want, and one small practice that can change how the next hard conversation goes. If you want to know which patterns show up most for you in conflict, take the free 3-minute assessment linked below. Take the free 3-minute assessment [https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app] Follow on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dave_lishansky/]

Reacties

0

Wees de eerste die een reactie plaatst

Meld je nu aan en word lid van de Reclaiming the Gentle Man community!

Probeer gratis

Probeer 14 dagen gratis

€ 9,99 / maand na proefperiode. · Elk moment opzegbaar.

  • Podcasts die je alleen op Podimo hoort
  • 20 uur luisterboeken / maand
  • Gratis podcasts

Alle afleveringen

57 afleveringen

aflevering Ep. 54 - Fawning to Self-Respect (Your Reconnection Code, Part 5) artwork

Ep. 54 - Fawning to Self-Respect (Your Reconnection Code, Part 5)

This is the final episode in a five-part series on the patterns that quietly wreck our relationships from the inside. This episode is about fawning. The pattern where we absorb, accommodate, and apologize our way through conflict — not out of genuine accountability, but out of a need to make the discomfort stop. In this episode we get into why so many men were conditioned to manage the emotions of the people around them instead of developing their own, what the difference between fawning and real accountability actually feels like from the inside, and what it takes to stay present in a hard moment without losing yourself in it. Take the free 3-minute Reconnection Code assessment [https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app/]  For deeper work: Pain-Free Conflict workshop [https://painfreeconflict.lovable.app/]  Find me on Instagram: @dave_lishansky [https://instagram.com/dave_lishansky]

29 mei 202616 min
aflevering Ep. 53 - Fixing to Attuning (Your Reconnection Code, Part 4) artwork

Ep. 53 - Fixing to Attuning (Your Reconnection Code, Part 4)

There's a viral video [https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg?si=i5H-MCMGoFfdSRdC] that's been around for years — a woman with a literal nail in her forehead, her partner trying to point it out, her insisting it's not about the nail. A lot of men have felt deeply seen by it. In this episode we get underneath why. Why the urge to fix runs so deep in us, what it's actually protecting us from, and why the woman we love so often goes cold the moment we try to help. We get into the unconscious belief most men carry about emotions — that they're inconvenient, inefficient, in the way — and we look at what becomes available when we stop trying to solve her feelings and learn to be with them instead. And for the men who feel like they've got their own emotions handled but hers are the real problem, there's a turn in here for you too. If you want to know which patterns show up most for you in conflict, take the free 3-minute assessment linked below. Take the free 3-minute assessment [https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app/] Follow on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dave_lishansky/]

22 mei 202619 min
aflevering Ep. 52 - Defensiveness to Understanding (Your Reconnection Code, Part 3) artwork

Ep. 52 - Defensiveness to Understanding (Your Reconnection Code, Part 3)

Most of us have been called defensive at some point. And most of us, when it happens, are pretty sure we have a good reason. In this episode, we look at what's actually happening underneath the defense — what we're protecting, why it feels so necessary in the moment, and what it costs us in the relationships we care most about. We get into why being right so often loses us the thing we actually want, and one small practice that can change how the next hard conversation goes. If you want to know which patterns show up most for you in conflict, take the free 3-minute assessment linked below. Take the free 3-minute assessment [https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app] Follow on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dave_lishansky/]

15 mei 202615 min
aflevering Ep. 51 - Avoiding to Accountability (Your Reconnection Code, Part 2) artwork

Ep. 51 - Avoiding to Accountability (Your Reconnection Code, Part 2)

This is part 2 of a 5-part series on the disconnection patterns — the tendencies that turn small moments into full-blown conflict. In this episode we get into what avoiding actually is, how it differs from suppressing, and why it tends to be the most damaging of the five. We talk about the man who can't tell his partner he might lose his job, the guy who knows he should stop drinking but never quite does, and the way our minds get clever about hiding the things we're most afraid to face. Then we get specific about what it actually takes to move from avoiding to accountability — starting with one question you can ask yourself in the middle of the pattern. If anything in this episode is landing, find out which of the five disconnection patterns is most active in your relationship right now. Take the free 3-minute Reconnection Code quiz: your-reconnection-code.lovable.app [https://your-reconnection-code.lovable.app] For deeper work on conflict and reconnection, the Pain-Free Conflict workshop is here: painfreeconflict.lovable.app [painfreeconflict.lovable.app] Find me on Instagram: @dave_lishansky [https://www.instagram.com/dave_lishansky/]

7 mei 202616 min