Grief: Putting Yourself Aside

Grief: Putting Yourself Aside

You can be the person who holds everyone together and still be hurting. That tension has been weighing on my heart lately, because so many of us practice “self care” in theory while living out the opposite in real life: we spend our energy serving, comforting, smoothing things over, and staying strong so nobody else has to feel the full weight of the moment. In this episode, we talk about grief support the way it actually looks in families after a death. I share what I noticed when my brother-in-law died: I felt unusually calm and had the right words for the people around me, even while everything was crashing inside.  Then we get honest about a common pattern, especially for many women : putting our own grief aside so we can take care of children, spouses, siblings, and friends even. That may come from love, but it can quietly erase us. We also dig into something that can be hard to admit: how quickly we judge someone else’s mourning when it doesn’t match our own. Not everyone cries in public. Not everyone shows pain the same way at the hospital, the funeral, or the visitation. With time, grief education, and compassion, we learn to see what might be happening under the surface and why a single safe person can change everything. If you want practical, human words for holding space,and staying connected without losing yourself, press play. Subscribe, share this with someone who is carrying too much, and leave a review so more people can find support when they need it most. Holding space for you, The Caring Death Doula Doula Click here to send me a text. I would love to hear from you your thoughts on this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2530196/fan_mail/new] Sign up for my newsletter, ask questions, and get responses via Email: thecaringdeathdoula@gmail.com Follow on FB The Caring Death Doula https://www.facebook.com/share/1CUfH9Kek6/?mibextid=wwXIfr [https://www.facebook.com/share/1CUfH9Kek6/?mibextid=wwXIfr] Join the private FB group for “behind the podcast” and advance notification The Caring Death Doula Podcast. A safe place to ask questions and to learn more.  IG The_Caring_Death_Doula https://www.instagram.com/the_caring_death_doula?igsh=MXdjOTF3MWo2a3RpYw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr [https://www.instagram.com/the_caring_death_doula?igsh=MXdjOTF3MWo2a3RpYw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr]

You Are Not Alone In Grief

I thank you for coming here and making this space a part of your grief journey.  Grief can be loud, or it can be eerily quiet. Either way, it can convince you that you are on your own.  I recorded this message for you to hear  and to hear it clearly : you are not alone, and you do not have to carry grief by yourself.  We stay focused on self-care that actually helps during moments that hit with grief , the kind that does not rush you, shame you, or demand a neat timeline.  I talk about why avoiding grief can make it heavier over time, and how supportive presence can bring real relief.  I also share ways to connect with me if you want more than a podcast, including one-on-one support options like calls or messaging, plus the possibility of bringing Death And Cheesecake gatherings online for listeners who are not local.  If you have been searching for grief support, coping with loss tools, or a compassionate death doula voice that will not try to fix you, this is for you. You deserve someone who will listen, help you feel steady, and respect your pace. If this helps, subscribe, share it with someone who is grieving, and leave a review so more people can find this kind of care. Frances, The Caring Death Doula, holding space for you.  You can send an email to: Thecaringdeathdoula@gmail.com Click here to send me a text. I would love to hear from you your thoughts on this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2530196/fan_mail/new] Sign up for my newsletter, ask questions, and get responses via Email: thecaringdeathdoula@gmail.com Follow on FB The Caring Death Doula https://www.facebook.com/share/1CUfH9Kek6/?mibextid=wwXIfr [https://www.facebook.com/share/1CUfH9Kek6/?mibextid=wwXIfr] Join the private FB group for “behind the podcast” and advance notification The Caring Death Doula Podcast. A safe place to ask questions and to learn more.  IG The_Caring_Death_Doula https://www.instagram.com/the_caring_death_doula?igsh=MXdjOTF3MWo2a3RpYw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr [https://www.instagram.com/the_caring_death_doula?igsh=MXdjOTF3MWo2a3RpYw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr]

Grief Asking For Attention

Grief has a way of making us disappear from ourselves.  In this episode, we discuss how we stay busy, stay quiet, keep it moving, and hope time will do the work we refuse to touch.  But when nobody talks about grief, we often stuff it down, then it starts leaking out through anger, isolation, overworking, and that constant feeling that something is hanging over us. We take a clear look at what grief really is and why it’s bigger than bereavement. Yes, it includes the death of a loved one or a pet, but it can also be the death of a dream, the end of a career, the loss of a role, or the painful realization that life doesn’t match what you hoped for. When we broaden the definition, we stop minimizing our own pain, and we get better at supporting friends and family who are struggling. We also talk about avoidance and the coping habits that can become destructive: drinking, drugs, gambling, binge watching, relationship cycling, and nonstop productivity fueled by caffeine and no sleep.  Most importantly, we talk about what real grief support looks like: finding someone who will listen without trying to fix you, rush you, or talk you out of your feelings. If you’ve been told to “get over it,” this conversation is your permission slip to slow down and take care of you. Share this with someone who needs it, and consider leaving a review so more people can find support when grief feels unbearable. Holding space for you, Frances, The Caring Death Doula Click here to send me a text. I would love to hear from you your thoughts on this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2530196/fan_mail/new] Sign up for my newsletter, ask questions, and get responses via Email: thecaringdeathdoula@gmail.com Follow on FB The Caring Death Doula https://www.facebook.com/share/1CUfH9Kek6/?mibextid=wwXIfr [https://www.facebook.com/share/1CUfH9Kek6/?mibextid=wwXIfr] Join the private FB group for “behind the podcast” and advance notification The Caring Death Doula Podcast. A safe place to ask questions and to learn more.  IG The_Caring_Death_Doula https://www.instagram.com/the_caring_death_doula?igsh=MXdjOTF3MWo2a3RpYw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr [https://www.instagram.com/the_caring_death_doula?igsh=MXdjOTF3MWo2a3RpYw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr]

Rest Is Part Of Grieving

In this episode,  we discuss how your  body can only carry grief for so long before it starts sending louder signals.  We talk honestly about what it feels like when you’ve been pushing through loss for weeks, months, or years, and the exhaustion is deeper than being overwhelmed. It’s the kind of tired that lives in your bones and your nervous system, and it’s telling you to stop. Again we widen the lens on what counts as grief: the death of a loved one, the loss of a pet, estrangement from family, the end of a role you held for decades, a career that didn’t work out, or the life you expected to have.  No matter what form it takes, grief asks for time, space, and gentleness.  Rest is not a luxury here. It’s a health decision. Together, we walk through a practical idea: a real 48-hour break. That might mean calling in sick, taking vacation days, or protecting a weekend. We get specific about unplugging beyond social media, setting boundaries, delegating, and finding options even if you have kids, limited help, or a demanding boss.  This episodes also explores simple self-care that can calm your body: a long shower or bath, low light, soothing scents, music, journaling, or doing absolutely nothing. If this resonates, listen and  don’t hesitate to share if someone comes to mind. You never know what it could mean to them. Please consider leaving a review so more grieving people can find the support they need.  Holding space, Frances The Caring Death Doula Click here to send me a text. I would love to hear from you your thoughts on this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2530196/fan_mail/new] Sign up for my newsletter, ask questions, and get responses via Email: thecaringdeathdoula@gmail.com Follow on FB The Caring Death Doula https://www.facebook.com/share/1CUfH9Kek6/?mibextid=wwXIfr [https://www.facebook.com/share/1CUfH9Kek6/?mibextid=wwXIfr] Join the private FB group for “behind the podcast” and advance notification The Caring Death Doula Podcast. A safe place to ask questions and to learn more.  IG The_Caring_Death_Doula https://www.instagram.com/the_caring_death_doula?igsh=MXdjOTF3MWo2a3RpYw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr [https://www.instagram.com/the_caring_death_doula?igsh=MXdjOTF3MWo2a3RpYw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr]

Holding Space For Mother’s Day Grief

Mother’s Day lands differently when your mom is gone or when motherhood has been shaped by loss.  This episode follows Morher’s Day weekend here in the U.S. and I wanted to honor the place a mother has in our lives. And, to let the women often overlooked by society who long to be mothers know they are seen.  We talk about grief as evidence of love, why it helps to speak plainly about death, and how we can support each other without comparison.  • Mother’s Day grief and the ache of absence  • Grief as tangible evidence of love we carry  • Getting more comfortable talking about death and living present  • Holding space for infertility, miscarriage, and stillbirth  • Validating motherhood after pregnancy loss  • Rejecting the urge to rank grief and loss  If you need to feel seen this week after making it through the weekend of missing your mother, this episode is for you. If you know others missing their mom or women who long to be a mom and hold their babies, then please pass this episode on.  Share with those who miss their moms. Any day or event celebrating moms can be so hard for many of us.  Be there for someone or take a deep breath for yourself knowing I hold space for you.  Click here to send me a text. I would love to hear from you your thoughts on this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2530196/fan_mail/new] Sign up for my newsletter, ask questions, and get responses via Email: thecaringdeathdoula@gmail.com Follow on FB The Caring Death Doula https://www.facebook.com/share/1CUfH9Kek6/?mibextid=wwXIfr [https://www.facebook.com/share/1CUfH9Kek6/?mibextid=wwXIfr] Join the private FB group for “behind the podcast” and advance notification The Caring Death Doula Podcast. A safe place to ask questions and to learn more.  IG The_Caring_Death_Doula https://www.instagram.com/the_caring_death_doula?igsh=MXdjOTF3MWo2a3RpYw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr [https://www.instagram.com/the_caring_death_doula?igsh=MXdjOTF3MWo2a3RpYw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr]