The D. Tales with Allison Kahler

Ep. 13: Healing Isn't Feeling Better — It's Feeling Everything

35 min · 28 apr 2026
aflevering Ep. 13: Healing Isn't Feeling Better — It's Feeling Everything artwork

Beschrijving

This is a story about a self-described "recovering nice guy" who spent decades outsourcing his self-worth — and how he learned that healing isn't feeling better, it's feeling everything. In this episode: * How the sensitive kid underneath armored up behind toxic masculinity — and why that armor "doesn't discriminate" between what it keeps out and what it keeps in * How a first separation, a cancer diagnosis, and a decade of "should I stay or should I go?" surfaced a quieter, harder question — "maybe I’m the problem?" * How a transformative experience at The Hoffman Process taught Billy that "forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past" * How Jack Kornfield's challenge to "die of boredom on the meditation mat" taught Billy he could sit with anxiety — and survive it * What months on the living room floor processing delayed grief taught Billy about inviting grief to "come have a seat" instead of running from it * Why healing isn't about feeling better — it's about feeling everything, and why finally trusting "I can handle it" changed everything About Billy Kaitz: Billy is a recovering perfectionist and lifelong overthinker who spent years trying to be everything for everyone — while quietly leaving himself out of the equation. He built the life he thought would finally make him feel whole, only to discover that nothing was missing except his connection to himself. What followed was a messy, humbling journey through loss, therapy, and real human connection — learning that the most meaningful parts of life often sit behind the doors we spend years avoiding. Today, Billy is still doing that work in real time, choosing honesty over performance, and showing up as a devoted girl dad grounded in something far more real than perfection. Follow Billy on Instagram: @billkaitz [https://www.instagram.com/billkaitz] Connect with Billy on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/billkaitz [http://linkedin.com/in/billkaitz] Find Billy on Facebook: facebook.com/bill.kaitz [http://facebook.com/bill.kaitz] Resources mentioned: * The Hoffman Process [https://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/] * Kristin Neff's Self-Compassion [https://self-compassion.org/] * AEDP Therapy [https://aedpinstitute.org/about-aedp-psychotherapy/] (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast [https://www.instagram.com/thedtalespodcast/] Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com [https://thedtalespodcast.com] This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

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21 afleveringen

aflevering Ep. 20: My Adventures in Dating After Divorce — So Far (Solo) artwork

Ep. 20: My Adventures in Dating After Divorce — So Far (Solo)

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aflevering Ep. 19: "My Body Woke Up" — Coming Out and Coming Home to Myself artwork

Ep. 19: "My Body Woke Up" — Coming Out and Coming Home to Myself

After 25 years of marriage, Lisa Madsen's body "woke up" — and everything she thought she knew about love, marriage, and who she was came up for question. This is a story about coming out later in life, choosing to stay married while building a life with someone new, and discovering that when it comes to marriage, divorce, and family, there are no rules — you get to make them up. In this episode: * The phone call from her college girlfriend that made her body "wake up" — and the question she couldn't stop asking: "What does this even mean?" * Coming out in her twenties, "un-coming out" when she fell in love with her husband, and coming out again later in life — and what it meant to finally come home to herself * How Lisa told her husband the truth — and the response that surprised everyone * "Husband not husband": why she and her husband never divorced — and stayed close enough to share regular Wednesday dinners * Building a blended family across two states — and why she decided there are no rules except the ones you make About Lisa Madsen: Lisa is a certified life coach and licensed clinical social worker who works with people navigating big relationship transitions — including women coming out later in life — and helps them move forward with clarity and self-trust. After 25 years of marriage, her own life became one of the most unconventional, and loving, answers to the question of what "family" can look like. Learn more at www.lisamadsencoaching.com [http://www.lisamadsencoaching.com] Follow Lisa on Instagram: @lifecoachforcaregivers Find Lisa on Psychology Today: Lisa Madsen, LCSW [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/lisa-madsen-lakewood-co/844833] About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast [https://www.instagram.com/thedtalespodcast/] Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com [https://thedtalespodcast.com] This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

9 jun 202631 min
aflevering Ep. 18: Overcoming Financial Anxiety in Divorce with the 6 Pillars of Intentional Money artwork

Ep. 18: Overcoming Financial Anxiety in Divorce with the 6 Pillars of Intentional Money

Today's conversation with financial advisor and CDFA® Leah Hadley explores what it looks like to rebuild a relationship with money that supports the life you actually want — especially during divorce, when financial anxiety and avoidance can take over. In this episode: * Why divorce creates a real cash-flow shock at every income level — the same income suddenly has to support two households * The 6 pillars of the Intentional Money Method™ — clarity, values, mindset, strategy, action, and support — and how they work together * What “clarity” actually looks like in practice — getting honest about what’s coming in, what’s going out, what you own, and what you owe * Why mindset is often the biggest blocker — the limiting beliefs and old stories running in the background that can shape how we negotiate, earn, save, and spend our money * Why we often have to take action before we feel ready — and how small, intentional steps build confidence over time * Pro tip: How to check your state’s unclaimed property database — and potentially reclaim hundreds or even thousands of dollars! About Leah Hadley: Leah Hadley, AFC®, CDFA®, MAFF®, is the Founder and Senior Wealth Advisor of Intentional Wealth Partners and Intentional Divorce Solutions. With nearly two decades of experience in financial services and her own lived experience of divorce, she specializes in helping women navigate divorce and major life transitions with clarity and confidence. Her new book, Intentional Money, is a practical guide designed to help women take control of their finances and build lasting independence. She is also the author of When It's Just Not Working: A Practical Divorce Guide for Stay-At-Home Moms. Learn more about Intentional Divorce Solutions: https://www.greatlakesdfs.com/ [https://www.greatlakesdfs.com/] Follow Leah on Instagram: @watchherthrive Connect with Leah on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leahahadley/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/leahahadley/] Get Leah’s book Intentional Money: https://a.co/d/0ftSboBC [https://a.co/d/0ftSboBC] Episode-Specific Notes: This conversation offers general perspective on divorce-related financial planning and is not personalized financial, legal, or tax advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation. About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast [https://www.instagram.com/thedtalespodcast/] Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com [https://thedtalespodcast.com] This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

2 jun 202636 min
aflevering Ep. 17: Loneliness Isn’t Being Alone — It’s Being Disconnected From Yourself artwork

Ep. 17: Loneliness Isn’t Being Alone — It’s Being Disconnected From Yourself

Today’s conversation with holistic performance coach Dr. Brian Paris explores why loneliness isn’t the same thing as being alone — and how coming back to yourself changes everything about how you move through divorce, co-parenting, and love. In this episode: * How Brian’s post-divorce loneliness revealed a deeper fear — “will I be alone forever?” — and what it showed him about self-connection * “I mastered the science of achievement, but I really dropped on the art of fulfillment” — and what it looks like to rebuild from the inside out * Brian’s four-part “human operating system” for coming home to yourself: awareness, embodiment, connection, and flow * What a 10-day silent meditation retreat taught Brian about identity, presence, and creating space between your thoughts and your reactions * A practical reframe for co-parenting and post-divorce communication: empathy, “graceful expression,” and not handing someone a brick when they’re drowning About Dr. Brian Paris: Dr. Brian Paris is a holistic performance coach, speaker, and former chiropractor who helps high-achieving people navigate challenging transitions, including divorce, identity loss, and starting over. After building and leading a successful multidisciplinary healthcare practice for over two decades, Brian’s own experience of burnout, disconnection, and divorce became the catalyst for his deepest work — helping others rebuild from the inside out through neuroscience, somatic awareness, and ancient healing traditions. Learn more at www.drbrianparis.com [http://www.drbrianparis.com] Follow Brian on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook: @drbrianparis Connect with Brian on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drbrianparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drbrianparis/] About ManRebuild: ManRebuild is Brian’s program designed to help men rebuild from the inside out during and after divorce — grounding in awareness, embodiment, connection, and purpose. Learn more about ManRebuild: https://drbrianparis.com/manrebuild/ [https://drbrianparis.com/manrebuild/] About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler": The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms. Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcast [https://www.instagram.com/thedtalespodcast/] Learn more at https://thedtalespodcast.com [https://thedtalespodcast.com] This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

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aflevering Ep. 16: The Stories We Hide Behind — and the Ones That Set Us Free artwork

Ep. 16: The Stories We Hide Behind — and the Ones That Set Us Free

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