#108 The Kink Curious Wife: Marriage, Desire & Erotic Self-Discovery with J

#108 The Kink Curious Wife: Marriage, Desire & Erotic Self-Discovery with J

What happens when curiosity about other people's desires leads you to discover your own? In this episode I sit down with J to explore a journey that began with curiosity and evolved into a deeper understanding of kink, intimacy, and erotic identity. Together we discuss her experiences in sex work, her fascination with the psychology of desire, and how joining FetLife to better understand other people's kinks ultimately helped her discover parts of herself she hadn't fully recognised. We explore: * Kink curiosity and self-discovery. * Introducing a partner to BDSM. * Marriage and erotic exploration. * Sex work and the psychology of desire. * Ownership dynamics and intimacy. * Women's pathways into kink. Research book: Women and Kink. [https://www.amazon.com/Women-Kink-Relationships-Reasons-Stories/dp/0367187736] Supporters of The Erotic Realm: * Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here [https://myfirmtech.com/desire]. * Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here [https://splashblanket.com/?rfsn=8971642.8740ff&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8971642.8740ff]. * ProDx Health at home STI testing here [https://prodxhealth.com/products/pro-13-home-collection-kit?variant=42594725298278&_ef_transaction_id=&oid=1&affid=94]. Innovative Sex Tech: * Lioness here [https://lioness.io/desire]. * Kiiroo here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?lp=1&offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere]. * Luxus here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere&url=https://www.kiiroo.com/products/luxus]. * Lovense here [https://www.lovense.com/r/jhgdwz]. Science-backed libido support: * Flow supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=flow10]. * Desire supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/?vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=trio]. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ [https://forms.gle/hK7janYNqmYHegZg6] The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://my-store-107523d.creator-spring.com/listing/new-the-erotic-realm-collectio] Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://psychologyofdesire.com/] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

#107 The Porn Star's Daughter: Unbound Desire, Identity & Sexual Freedom with Laila Ocean

What happens when your earliest education about sexuality comes from growing up around the adult industry? In this episode I chat with filmmaker and storyteller Laila Ocean to explore her unique experience of being the daughter of a porn performer, and how that shaped her understanding of sexuality, relationships, stigma, freedom, and desire. Laila is currently creating Unbound, a documentary exploring sexuality, identity, and the human stories behind the adult industry. We discuss what it was like discovering her father's profession, the assumptions people make about pornography, and how growing up around adult entertainment influenced her own erotic development. Here is the International Documentary Association fundraising page to support Laila's project: https://www.documentary.org/project/unbound-crowned-pleasure [https://www.documentary.org/project/unbound-crowned-pleasure] or connect with Laila on her Instagram @laila.ocean We explore: * Growing up as the child of a porn performer. * Sexuality, stigma, and identity formation. * The making of the documentary Unbound. * Media narratives around sex work and porn. * Sexual freedom and cultural expectations. * Parenting, sexuality, and honest conversations. Research Article: Adolescents and Pornography: A Review of 20 Years of Research [https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/00224499.2016.1143441&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1781259848140840&usg=AOvVaw0BrnUzRnLCOPcF-8unYDvA]. Supporters of The Erotic Realm: * Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here [https://myfirmtech.com/desire]. * Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here [https://splashblanket.com/?rfsn=8971642.8740ff&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8971642.8740ff]. * ProDx Health at home STI testing here [https://prodxhealth.com/products/pro-13-home-collection-kit?variant=42594725298278&_ef_transaction_id=&oid=1&affid=94]. Innovative Sex Tech: * Lioness here [https://lioness.io/desire]. * Kiiroo here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?lp=1&offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere]. * Luxus here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere&url=https://www.kiiroo.com/products/luxus]. * Lovense here [https://www.lovense.com/r/jhgdwz]. Science-backed libido support: * Flow supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=flow10]. * Desire supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/?vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=trio]. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ [https://forms.gle/hK7janYNqmYHegZg6] The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://my-store-107523d.creator-spring.com/listing/new-the-erotic-realm-collectio] Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://psychologyofdesire.com/] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

#106 Beyond Vanilla: An Asexual Dominatrix on Power, Discipline & Consent with Ms Hyde

What happens when BDSM isn't really about sex? In this episode I chat with Ms Hyde — an asexual disciplinarian, BDSM educator, life coach, author, and craftsperson — to explore the psychology of power, discipline, communication, and consent. We explore: * Asexuality and BDSM. * The psychology of discipline. * Therapeutic spanking and meaning-making. * Beyond Vanilla and BDSM education. * Repair, accountability, and relationship growth. * Why pleasure and power are not opposites. Research Article: Making Sense of S&M: A Discourse Analytic Account. [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/224968350_Making_Sense_of_SM_A_Discourse_Analytic_Account] Supporters of The Erotic Realm: * Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here [https://myfirmtech.com/desire]. * Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here [https://splashblanket.com/?rfsn=8971642.8740ff&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8971642.8740ff]. * ProDx Health at home STI testing here [https://prodxhealth.com/products/pro-13-home-collection-kit?variant=42594725298278&_ef_transaction_id=&oid=1&affid=94]. Innovative Sex Tech: * Lioness here [https://lioness.io/desire]. * Kiiroo here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?lp=1&offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere]. * Luxus here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere&url=https://www.kiiroo.com/products/luxus]. * Lovense here [https://www.lovense.com/r/jhgdwz]. Science-backed libido support: * Flow supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=flow10]. * Desire supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/?vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=trio]. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ [https://forms.gle/hK7janYNqmYHegZg6] The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://my-store-107523d.creator-spring.com/listing/new-the-erotic-realm-collectio] Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://psychologyofdesire.com/] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

#105 The Nerdy Submissive: Kink, DnD & Neurodivergence with Sarah

What if the people with the richest erotic lives are often the ones you'd least expect? In this episode I sit down with Sarah—a self-described nerdy submissive to explore the intersection of kink, neurodivergence, fantasy, imagination, and hidden desire. We explore: * The psychology of submission. * Neurodivergence and kink. * Dungeons & Dragons and erotic imagination. * Hidden desires and secret erotic worlds. * Non-extreme BDSM and everyday kink. * Fantasy, belonging, and finding your tribe. Research article: The Prevalence of BDSM in Finland and the Association between BDSM Interest and Personality Traits. [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34994669/] Supporters of The Erotic Realm: * Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here [https://myfirmtech.com/desire]. * Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here [https://splashblanket.com/?rfsn=8971642.8740ff&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8971642.8740ff]. * ProDx Health at home STI testing here [https://prodxhealth.com/products/pro-13-home-collection-kit?variant=42594725298278&_ef_transaction_id=&oid=1&affid=94]. Innovative Sex Tech: * Lioness here [https://lioness.io/desire]. * Kiiroo here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?lp=1&offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere]. * Luxus here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere&url=https://www.kiiroo.com/products/luxus]. * Lovense here [https://www.lovense.com/r/jhgdwz]. Science-backed libido support: * Flow supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=flow10]. * Desire supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/?vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=trio]. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ [https://forms.gle/hK7janYNqmYHegZg6] The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://my-store-107523d.creator-spring.com/listing/new-the-erotic-realm-collectio] Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://psychologyofdesire.com/] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

#104 The Rope Dominant: Shibari, Power & the Psychology of Surrender with Mark DeViate

Why do some people describe rope as a pathway into trust, presence, and altered states of consciousness? In this episode I sit down with Mark DeViate — Dominant, rope practitioner, polyamorous relationship veteran, and long-time member of the BDSM community, to explore the psychology of surrender, ethical dominance, and the transformative potential of connection-based kink. We explore: * • The psychology of ethical dominance. * • Shibari, rope bondage, and surrender. * • Topspace, flow states, and altered consciousness. * • Performance-based kink vs connection-based kink. * • Long-term polyamory and relationship longevity. Research article: The Biology of BDSM: A Systematic Review [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34876387/] Supporters of The Erotic Realm: * Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here [https://myfirmtech.com/desire]. * Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here [https://splashblanket.com/?rfsn=8971642.8740ff&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8971642.8740ff]. * ProDx Health at home STI testing here [https://prodxhealth.com/products/pro-13-home-collection-kit?variant=42594725298278&_ef_transaction_id=&oid=1&affid=94]. Innovative Sex Tech: * Lioness here [https://lioness.io/desire]. * Kiiroo here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?lp=1&offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere]. * Luxus here [https://offers.feeliate.com/?offer=1&uid=019cad40-b99f-790a-bbc2-fa43065f6126&utm_source=YourSourceHere&url=https://www.kiiroo.com/products/luxus]. * Lovense here [https://www.lovense.com/r/jhgdwz]. Science-backed libido support: * Flow supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=flow10]. * Desire supplement here [https://hop.clickbank.net/?vendor=the20&affiliate=pofdesire&a_aid=699534217aacb&cbpage=trio]. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ [https://forms.gle/hK7janYNqmYHegZg6] The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://my-store-107523d.creator-spring.com/listing/new-the-erotic-realm-collectio] Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://psychologyofdesire.com/] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].