Carry a Chair and a Very Heavy Stick

Carry a Chair and a Very Heavy Stick

June: On Conflict and Courage GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund: https://gofund.me/3682c6720 [https://gofund.me/3682c6720] June 24 You manage to get going again—one foot in front of the other. That’s all it takes. Keep telling yourself it’s all in your head. Just up ahead—at the corner of the street—you spot the silhouette of a figure. Tall—four legs? Something big in their hands. You’re not sure what it is, but your curiosity, or more likely your fear of what’s behind you, drives you on. Now you see it. It’s a person. She’s standing on a chair with a big stick, looking into the mist—in the direction from which you’ve come. “Hey! What are you doing up there?” you call out.  Her eyes flick down to you, then back up. “Just being ready,” she says, voice flat and even, her long wet hair plastered to her forehead. “So there is something behind me . . .” You turn slowly, but it’s empty. Just mist and flickering lights. “Dunno,” she says. “But if there is—no matter what comes from those shadows—I’ll be ready for it.” * Reflection title: Carry a Chair and a Very Heavy Stick * Creative inspiration: Terry Pratchett, Maskerade * Reflection Question: Even if there’s no huge and terrible monster following me now—what will I do to prepare for a future where one might be?

Now or Never

June: On Conflict and Courage GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund: https://gofund.me/3682c6720 [https://gofund.me/3682c6720] June 23 We often don’t face our fears immediately because we think there might be another way—a better way. Or that somehow, through waiting, we’ll be better prepared. Or that the problem will just vanish. But often this only leaves room for us to catastrophize on the potential outcomes, and our courage seems only to drift further out to sea while we’re distracted. Even now, as I write this—the devil’s advocate speaks to me in the back of my mind: Well, Eastin. Sometimes waiting is actually good and if everyone acted immediately— I’m not saying to act irrationally and without thought. Courage isn’t foolishly rushing headlong into unwinnable or dangerous situations—you do also have to prepare and think things through. What I’m saying is that when you know in your heart and mind and soul and body—and trust me, you’ll know when you know—what you have to do to overcome your fear and move forward in your life, that is the time to act. It’s when you know and you don’t act—that’s when the fear begins to fester and mutate into something more nefarious, taking over your thoughts and actions. So it’s best to face it—whatever it is—now. Don’t put it off, or you might be waiting for the rest of your life.  Now, let’s go. * Reflection title: Now or Never * Creative inspiration: Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator * Reflection Question: What fear am I not facing because of the lie I tell myself that I’m not ready? Do I know in my heart that now is the time?

So It Goes, but It Doesn’t Have To

June: On Conflict and Courage GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund: https://gofund.me/3682c6720 [https://gofund.me/3682c6720] June 22 Think of your greatest death—was it a one-off? Or is it a pattern? Are you afraid to speak your mind and live up to your true self as a result? Again—it’s okay. There is no shame in living your life. We’re all afraid at some point—the key is recognizing it when it happens, seeing those signs, and building up the confidence and strength to react otherwise—to make the decision you long to make in your heart—the one you know is right. It’s easy to fall into the pattern of doing otherwise and dying these many deaths. But all it takes is one act of courage to turn the tables and set you on the path you wish to be on. So if you’re tired of dying little deaths—or if there’s a handful of larger deaths lingering in the back of your mind, make the choice now to do it differently next time around, because there will be a next time. And choose to live instead. * Reflection title: So It Goes, but It Doesn’t Have To * Creative inspiration: William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar * Reflection Question: What and when was my biggest death? How will I now live in spite of that death? What will I do to make up for it?

Defy the Angels

June: On Conflict and Courage GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund: https://gofund.me/3682c6720 [https://gofund.me/3682c6720] June 21 It takes strength and courage to keep going. To move on from a broken heart, from the loss of a loved one, from any of the countless tragedies that we humans are so susceptible to. You gotta keep moving always, but you can’t be afraid to look back either—to observe the past and learn from it. And it’s okay to even mourn it—as long as you keep moving. Don’t forget it, even when it hurts. Because why would you? It is uniquely you. It’s a part of your story. Without it, you wouldn’t be where you are now. You wouldn’t be you. * Reflection title: Defy the Angels * Creative inspiration: Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five * Reflection Question: Do I have the courage to keep moving, while not fearing the past that led me here?

Burning Up

June: On Conflict and Courage GoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund: https://gofund.me/3682c6720 [https://gofund.me/3682c6720] June 20 The point isn’t to achieve it all. It’s to live fully within the boundaries of the limits of your life and what is possible. To throw your fear of failure to the wind and have the courage to try. Even if you don’t finish what you set out to do, you did it the best you could. Within your capacity and the limits of what was possible for you specifically, and no one else. This is how it’s meant to be. Things will be left unfinished, you can be damn sure of that. But it’s the fact that you even started that matters. It’s your intention that matters. Choosing to try—with a focused determination—over eternity. Burn brightly like a campfire burning up its wood. It may not last forever—it certainly won’t—but it will leave its impression, light, and warmth while it’s here. * Reflection title: Burning Up * Creative inspiration: Pindar, Pythian iii * Reflection Question: Am I playing it safe or exhausting the limits of what’s possible? What will I start today that I’ve been putting off?