Kate Liles on Growing Up Across Two Homes When Nothing Was Shared

Kate Liles on Growing Up Across Two Homes When Nothing Was Shared

What does divorce look like through the eyes of a child — and decades later, through the eyes of an adult? This week, Karen welcomes Kate Liles, who grew up navigating life across two households after her parents divorced when she was just a year old. Kate shares her story with honesty and grace, offering a rare, firsthand look at the lasting impact of the decisions parents make during and after divorce. Kate and Karen explore the do's and don'ts that shaped Kate's childhood: the split holidays and double birthday parties, the toys that weren't allowed to cross between homes, the emotional labor of playing referee between parents — and the extended family members and step-parents who complicated things further. Kate also reflects on the long shadow of parental conflict, the challenge of building her own marriage as a child of divorce, and the moment at her college graduation when she witnessed something she'd waited more than three decades to see. A cautionary tale and a story of resilience, this episode is a reminder that children aren't just caught in the middle of divorce — they carry it with them long after it's over. And as Kate says: your kids will be okay. But the choices you make now matter more than you know. The Good Divorce is hosted by Karen McNenny, author, mediator, and divorce consultant. For more, visit karenmcnenny.com [https://www.karenmcnenny.com/], and pick up Karen's new book, The Good Divorce: How to End Your Marriage Without Ending Your Family.

Summer Encore: For the Dads — Patrick Duganz on Father Engagement After Divorce

Karen revisits a Father's Day conversation with Patrick Duganz, who has spent over a decade as the father engagement specialist at the Gallatin City-County Health Department in Bozeman, Montana. Patrick talks candidly about why dads often arrive at parenthood underprepared, how a lack of targeted support for fathers shows up in everything from home visiting programs to divorce proceedings, and what it looks like when a dad gets the help he needs just in time. His story about "Bob" — a new single dad on the verge of giving up — is one for the books. A warm, practical, and deeply human conversation about supporting fathers so they can show up fully for their kids. Connect with Karen at karenmcnenny.com [https://www.karenmcnenny.com]

The Weight of Two Losses: A Child and a Marriage

Divorce coach Kelly Myers knows what it looks like when the system fails families — because she lived it. When Kelly and her husband divorced in 2011–2012, their three boys were six, eight, and ten years old. What followed was two years of litigation and more than $100,000 in legal costs — a path she didn't fully understand she was choosing when she stepped into it. In this candid and deeply personal conversation, Kelly shares how the "ecosystem of divorce" — mediators, attorneys, friends, and family — can fan the flames of conflict rather than help families restructure. Her mediator told her not to worry about financial inequities; her attorney didn't tell her that pursuing support modifications would reopen custody. The result: years of stress, resentment, and a version of herself she's not proud of — one who was yelling in the car on the way to her son's eighth-grade graduation, too overwhelmed to simply be present.           Kelly reflects on the turning point that came when she stopped focusing on what was fair and started asking what was right for her kids. She and her co-parent Blake eventually built a respectful, collaborative relationship — one that was tested profoundly when their son Jack passed away in June 2024 after years of struggle with mental health and addiction. Rather than letting grief pull them apart, Kelly and Blake came together to plan Jack's service, support their surviving sons, and hold each other through unimaginable loss. That experience crystallized for Kelly why this work matters so much. Now a certified divorce and co-parenting coach, Kelly helps clients understand the realities of the divorce system before they're swept into it — managing emotions outside of decision-making, building comprehensive parenting plans, and thinking about co-parenting not just as a legal arrangement but as a long-term business partnership in raising their children. Key themes in this episode: * How the divorce ecosystem — lawyers, mediators, social circles — shapes (and often inflames) outcomes * Why litigation risks are rarely explained to clients up front * The shift from "what's fair" to "what does my child's divorce story look like?" * Viewing co-parenting as a business partnership, not a custody arrangement * The difference between parenting 50% of the time and being a parent 100% of the time * Repairing the relationship with your kids — and yourself — even after difficult chapters * The gift of a co-parenting relationship strong enough to hold a family together through loss Resources & Websites Mentioned: * First Steps Divorce — Kelly Myers' coaching practice: firststepsdivorce.com [http://firststepsdivorce.com/] * The Good Divorce Podcast — hosted by Karen McNenny: karenmcnenny.com [http://karenmcnenny.com/] * The Good Divorce by Karen McNenny — available wherever books are sold

The Book Is in the World — Now the Real Work Begins (Part 3 of 3)

On April 26th, 2024, an email arrived asking Karen if she'd ever thought about writing a book. Exactly two years later to the day, a box of 300 copies landed on her front porch. In the final episode of this behind-the-scenes mini-series, Karen picks up where the manuscript ends and the movement begins. She talks about her first major book launch — a keynote for 250 HR professionals in her hometown — and why a room full of people who manage workplace breakups turned out to be exactly the right audience. She shares the moment she asked everyone touched by divorce to stand up, and how quickly almost the entire room was on its feet. She also makes the case for why this book belongs in HR offices, therapists' waiting rooms, and the hands of anyone who has ever loved someone going through a divorce — which, it turns out, is most of us. Karen also reads from the final chapter — The New — a quiet scene at a middle school choir concert where an offhand compliment from her ex-husband reminds her why they did all of this in the first place. Pick up your copy of The Good Divorce at karenmcnenny.com/the-good-divorce [https://www.karenmcnenny.com/the-good-divorce].

Tearing It Apart and Sewing It Back Together: Writing The Good Divorce (Part 2 of 3)

She had a book deal. Now she had to write the book. In Part 2 of this behind-the-scenes series, Karen walks through what it actually took to get The Good Divorce from outline to print — nine months of writing squeezed around a graduating son, a daughter heading to Europe, divorce clients, speaking gigs, and a single-income household with no one to walk the dog. She bought a van, hired back her ghostwriting team with money she didn't have, and spent the better part of three months writing from campgrounds across the Pacific Northwest. Then came the restructuring. Two days over Thanksgiving, alone with her golden retriever Moab, Karen spread the entire manuscript across her kitchen counter and dining room table — color-coded, categorized, and cut apart — before putting it back together into something that finally made sense. Thirty percent didn't make the cut. What followed was twelve days of around-the-clock rewriting alongside her developmental editor in South Africa, a copy editor who found corrections on every page, a design team, and a managing editor in India keeping all the plates spinning toward a May 19th release date. At the end of the show, Karen reads from Chapter Seven — The Community — on leaning into her people when the grief felt too big to carry alone, and the friend who gave her permission to stop pretending everything was bubbles and rainbows. Part 3 is next: the book is written. Now she has to sell it. 🔖 Pick up your copy of The Good Divorce at karenmcnenny.com/the-good-divorce [https://www.karenmcnenny.com/the-good-divorce].