Perspective Shifts for Healing with The Hanged Women
Performative vs. Regulated Confidence: Nervous System Regulation, Anxiety & Self-Worth with SuperKate
Description
Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with somatic life coach and Connecting with SuperKate host, SuperKate. Many of us think confidence looks like being productive, prepared, decisive, and always having the right answer. But what if some of what we’ve been calling confidence is actually anxiety, over-functioning, people-pleasing, or a nervous system working overtime to keep us safe? In this conversation, Julienne and SuperKate explore the difference between performative confidence and regulated confidence, how high-functioning anxiety can disguise itself as competence, and why so many of us tie our worth to achievement, productivity, and other people’s approval. Together, they discuss nervous system regulation, fawn responses, over-explaining, over-apologizing, perfectionism, burnout, performance-based identity, and the subtle ways dysregulation influences everything from emails and conversations to decision-making and self-trust. They also explore how regulation changes our relationship with failure, intuition, rest, presence, and connection, and why true confidence isn’t about becoming more impressive, but about feeling safe enough to be yourself. One of the biggest perspective shifts from this conversation: What if you’re not lacking confidence? What if you’re just dysregulated? ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome and Setup 01:15 Sponsor Message 02:12 Meet SuperKate 02:37 The Snowy Origin Story 06:58 When Worth Becomes Tied to Work 09:27 Redefining Confidence 11:18 When Anxiety Looks Like Confidence 15:08 Understanding Nervous System Dysregulation 16:25 The Email Spiral Explained 20:11 Signs of False Confidence 23:53 High-Functioning Anxiety & Self-Worth 25:38 Masking, Performing & Dissociation 28:13 Mid-Episode Break 30:01 Understanding the Fawn Response 31:09 Why We Over-Explain 33:17 Letting Go of “Does That Make Sense?” 34:43 Over-Apologizing & Taking Up Space 36:55 Managing Other People’s Reactions 39:41 Adrenaline vs. Regulated Confidence 44:27 Performance-Based Identity 46:05 What Changes When We Regulate 51:19 Start With One Breath 53:47 Final Thoughts on Confidence & Self-Worth Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here: Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with SuperKate here 👉🏽 Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/the_superkate Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/superkate LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/in/superkate/ YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@ConnectingWithSuperKate Podcast → https://rss.com/podcasts/connecting-with-superkate/
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