The Homeboy Way
When world-renowned trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of the nine-million-copy bestseller The Body Keeps the Score, walked into Homeboy Industries, he came skeptical. What he found stopped him cold: people leaning into each other like friends. No suspicion. No dominance games. Just open-hearted safety. For a population with histories of violence and gang life, that is "quite remarkable." Dr. van der Kolk visited Homeboy and San Quentin in the same week. At San Quentin, he saw the familiar scars of trauma, isolation, and rigid hierarchy. But at Homeboy, he witnessed something radically different: people leaning into each other with trust and warmth. The contrast stunned him. In this episode, Tom Vozzo sits down with Dr. van der Kolk to delve into trauma, community, and the science behind Homeboy's transformative model. Together, they unpack why belonging is a biological imperative, why trauma lives in the body, and why action, such as chopping vegetables, dancing, or working in a kitchen, can heal what talk therapy alone cannot. They explore EMDR, why gangs and college campuses satisfy the same deep human need, and what it means to discover, perhaps for the very first time, that you might be lovable. So moved by what he saw at Homeboy, Dr. van der Kolk plans to dedicate a chapter of his next book to the program. Key Takeaways * Safety looks different at Homeboy. At San Quentin, people play dominance games. At Homeboy, men with histories of violence lean into each other, open-hearted. That contrast tells you everything about kinship. * What you do becomes who you are. Psychiatry is top-down: pill, advice, sit still. Homeboy does the opposite: people work and build identity through action. For someone whose only identity was the gang, that job is the foundation of a new self. * Trauma is not an event; it is helplessness. The antidote, as Darwin knew, is community: our uniquely human capacity to collaborate and look out for each other. * The past can become a memory, not a life sentence. Terrible things become an alibi, a reason to stay stuck. Moving from ‘look what they did’ to ‘it’s over’ is the hardest shift. Homeboy makes it possible. In This Episode: * [00:00] Introduction * [00:30] Why Homeboy changes people * [02:28] First impressions of Homeboy * [04:14] Why belonging heals trauma * [06:39] Finding community and identity * [09:56] Letting go of gang identity * [11:02] Trauma explained in simple terms * [13:18] Understanding complex trauma * [14:33] Why the body keeps the score * [16:25] Understanding EMDR and healing * [19:42] Why trauma keeps reliving itself * [22:00] Trauma and the feeling of paralysis * [23:53] Desmond Tutu and collective joy * [27:00] Belonging across different cultures * [28:08] The limits of traditional therapy * [29:58] Can people ever fully heal? * [30:50] Neurofeedback yoga and brain healing * [32:39] Addiction, psychedelics, and recovery * [35:19] Spirituality, compassion, and feeling loved * [38:02] How trauma lives in the body * [39:09] Final reflections Notable Quotes * “People were open-hearted to each other as if they were accustomed to feeling safe with each other.” — Bessel [03:18] * “In our field, we rarely talk about how the feeling of belonging is a critical human need.” – Bessel [04:42] Resources and Links Homeboy Industries * https://homeboyindustries.org/ [https://homeboyindustries.org/] * https://www.youtube.com/@HomeboyIndustries_LA/videos [https://www.youtube.com/@HomeboyIndustries_LA/videos] * Donate: https://homeboyindustries.org/donate/donate-online/ [https://homeboyindustries.org/donate/donate-online/] Homeboy Media * https://homeboyindustries.org/social-enterprises/homeboy-media/ [https://homeboyindustries.org/social-enterprises/homeboy-media/] Dr. Bessel van der Kolk * https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/ [https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/] * Book [https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748] Thomas Vozzo * https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomasvozzo [https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomasvozzo] * The Homeboy Way: A Radical Approach to Business and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Homeboy-Way-Radical-Approach-Business/dp/082945456X [https://www.amazon.com/Homeboy-Way-Radical-Approach-Business/dp/082945456X] Credits: Hosted by: Tom Vozzo Produced by: Podify, and Alexa Rousso and Melody Carter of Homeboy Media
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