Why Healing Feels Worse Before It Feels Free: The Rumble Before the Roar

Reclaim Your Joy: The Favorite Things List That Brings You Back in Midlife and Beyond

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2543536/fan_mail/new] You can name everyone else's favorites — your kid's, your husband's, your best friend's. But when someone asks you? You go blank. This week we fix that. If you've been feeling lost in midlife — foggy about who you even are anymore after years of taking care of everyone else — this episode is the fastest, most joyful map back to yourself I know. It starts with one question we haven't been asked since we were kids: what do you love? And it ends with a simple, do-it-on-a-receipt tool called the Favorite Things List.   Because your joys aren't fluff. They're breadcrumbs — the glittering fingerprints of the woman you actually are, the one no amount of shoulds ever fully erased.   IN THIS EPISODE: - Why you can't reclaim a self you never bothered to notice - The Favorite Things List: 3 little moves (Then / Now / the Through-Line) - How to get specific enough that the list reintroduces you to yourself - Why what delights you points straight at your God-given gifts - Your pinkie-toe step: reclaim ONE favorite thing this week Chapters * 0:00 — The handshake: meeting the woman you've been too busy to know * 0:23 — What today is about (and one embarrassing warning) * 1:20 — My favorite things (yes, I sing) * 2:17 — The one list I go back to more than any other * 3:03 — Joy Nugget: you can't reclaim a self you never noticed * 3:15 — Digging where the clues are buried: childhood * 4:14 — Your factory settings + the Favorite Things List (3 moves) * 5:40 — Then / Now / the Through-Line * 6:21 — A peek at my present-day list (glimpses of heaven) * 8:02 — Joy Nugget: what lights you up is your light * 8:57 — Your Rebel Move this week * 9:37 — The most honest prayer you've got * 10:23 — Your pinkie-toe step * 10:53 — Reclaim your JOY (free tools inside) A LINE TO KEEP: "Your joy was never a distraction from your purpose. Some days it's the most honest prayer you've got."   Welcome to the Rebellion. We've saved you a seat. Resources: - Free Play: REBEL JOY Card Deck — Romanticize your life and reclaim your light — one tiny rebellion at a time. Seven print-and-keep cards, each with one brave, joyful prompt. Pick a card, set a 60-second timer, and play. Start Playing Again! https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/72c327f4a4  - For the exact scripts for the next time you go blank or catch yourself saying an automatic yes, grab the Rebel Response Mini Kit here: https://rachelharrisonline.com/product-details/product/the-rebel-response-mini-kit - FREE: Are YOU a Good Girl Ghost? Free Guide: 5 Moments You're Abandoning Yourself (Without Even Realizing It) https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/e6b737ec08 - Work with me 1:1 on the Rebel Path — a single Rebel Hour, or the Rebel   Practice 12-week mentorship: https://rachelharrisonline.com/work-with-me My Substack Page, Goodbye, Good Girl: https://joyfulrebel.substack.com/ Are YOU A Joyful Rebel? https://rachelharrisonline.com/joyful-rebel

Who Told You That? — How to Catch the Silent Rules Running Your Life

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2543536/fan_mail/new] In this episode, I get honest about the rules we’re all living by — the ones nobody ever said out loud, that we never agreed to, that somehow still run our whole lives. I take you into my closet (the skirt-and-makeup rule I obeyed for thirty years without knowing it), into a bathroom in Houston where my dad re-caulked my tub before our move (and the completely wrong story my brain wrote about it), and into a practice I’m a little too excited about: writing your own personal commandments.  If you’ve ever paused and thought wait — where did that rule even come from? — this one’s for you. We're taking back the pen. In this episode: •  Why the rules we never questioned (some written when we were five) quietly steer our whole adult lives •  “Good girl ghosting in rulebook form” — the slow self-betrayal of obeying a code you never wrote •  The two-part question that cracks a rule open: Who told me that? and Is this Jesus or judgment? •  The Rule Breaker List — a 3-move practice you can do on the back of a receipt •  A handful of my own personal commandments (own my magic, run toward the roar, everything is information, act with integrity) •  The bathtub-caulk story: how my storyteller wrote the wrong script about my dad — and how I got to rewrite it on the spot •  Your pinkie-toe step and this week’s permission slips A few lines worth remembering: •  “A rule that you never said out loud can still run your whole life. So name it and write a better one.” •  “Same caulk, same muttering, completely different story. Only one of them was true.” •  “You’re allowed to ask, who told me that?” •  “I get to be soft and bright and feminine because I’m alive, not because I earned it.” •  "Your story isn’t prophecy unless you keep living it.” Resources: - Free Play: REBEL JOY Card Deck — Romanticize your life and reclaim your light — one tiny rebellion at a time. Seven print-and-keep cards, each with one brave, joyful prompt. Pick a card, set a 60-second timer, and play. Start Playing Again! https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/72c327f4a4  - For the exact scripts for the next time you go blank or catch yourself saying an automatic yes, grab the Rebel Response Mini Kit here: https://rachelharrisonline.com/product-details/product/the-rebel-response-mini-kit - FREE: Are YOU a Good Girl Ghost? Free Guide: 5 Moments You're Abandoning Yourself (Without Even Realizing It) https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/e6b737ec08 - Work with me 1:1 on the Rebel Path — a single Rebel Hour, or the Rebel   Practice 12-week mentorship: https://rachelharrisonline.com/work-with-me My Substack Page, Goodbye, Good Girl: https://joyfulrebel.substack.com/ Are YOU A Joyful Rebel? https://rachelharrisonline.com/joyful-rebel

The Values You Never Actually Chose — How to Find the Ones That Are Really Yours (and Not the Vision-Board Ones)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2543536/fan_mail/new] Identifying your core values at midlife is one of the first steps toward creating a life that is YOURS -- not someone else's. Stop chasing goals that don't fit your life! In this episode, I get honest about something a little embarrassing: for most of my life I could tell you exactly what everyone around me valued — my kids, my husband, my closest friends — and then go completely blank on my own. So today I’m walking you through the exact practice I used to find my real core values. Not the aspirational, vision-board, sounds-good-on-a-job-application ones. The ones that, when you violate them, make you feel like a stranger in your own skin — and when you honor them, make you feel like you. I share the night I read my finished list from top to bottom, got chills, and cried — not because I’d accomplished something, but because I felt seen by myself for maybe the first time ever. I talk about why two people can write the exact same word and still hold completely different values (your fingerprint lives in the story behind the word, not the word). And I give you the practice, step by step, so you can start today. In this episode: •             Why most of us think we know our values — and don’t — and what that gap quietly costs us •             The difference between a value you inherited and a value that’s actually yours •             How living by values you never chose has a name: Good Girl Ghosting •             The novelist’s secret I used on my own values (the blinking cursor that’s never perfectionism — it’s listening) •             The two-step practice: name three, then write the paragraph that gives you goosebumps •             How every named value gives you a cleaner answer to the only question that matters in the moment A few lines worth remembering: •             “You can’t live what you haven’t named.” •             “Two people can share a value. Only you carry your version of it.” •             “Your values aren’t rules. They’re a description of who you already are when fear isn’t making the decisions.” •             “Do I respect myself here, or do I betray myself here?” Next steps: •             Naming your values alone is powerful. Naming them in a room full of women deciding the same brave thing is a whole different kind of alive — that’s the Good Girl Ghosting Reset, and I’m opening it to a small founding group of Founding Sisters. Find me on Instagram @RachelHarrisOnline and DM me the word RESET for the details. •             Want a gentle place to start? DM me MY STORY, or grab the free guide, 5 Moments You’re Abandoning Yourself (Without Even Realizing It) — link in the show notes. #GoodGirlGhosting #JoyfulRebel #midlifewomen #corevalues #midlifeidentity #selfdiscovery #christianwomen Resources: - Free Play: REBEL JOY Card Deck — Romanticize your life and reclaim your light — one tiny rebellion at a time. Seven print-and-keep cards, each with one brave, joyful prompt. Pick a card, set a 60-second timer, and play. Start Playing Again! https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/72c327f4a4  - For the exact scripts for the next time you go blank or catch yourself saying an automatic yes, grab the Rebel Response Mini Kit here: https://rachelharrisonline.com/product-details/product/the-rebel-response-mini-kit - FREE: Are YOU a Good Girl Ghost? Free Guide: 5 Moments You're Abandoning Yourself (Without Even Realizing It) https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/e6b737ec08 - Work with me 1:1 on the Rebel Path — a single Rebel Hour, or the Rebel   Practice 12-week mentorship: https://rachelharrisonline.com/work-with-me My Substack Page, Goodbye, Good Girl: https://joyfulrebel.substack.com/ Are YOU A Joyful Rebel? https://rachelharrisonline.com/joyful-rebel

The Half-Second Where You Disappear — and the One Sentence That Brings You Back

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2543536/fan_mail/new] There's that moment. You know the one — and your body knows it even better. Someone asks, and before you've decided anything, you feel it: the drop in your stomach, your shoulders tightening a half-inch. Your body tells the truth… and your mouth says "sure, of course, it's fine, no worries." Smooth. Warm. A little too fast. I called it being easygoing for most of my life. What it actually was: me handing myself away in real time, one half-second at a time, until I'd disappeared from my own life without ever leaving the room. In this episode I want you to hear the part that finally set me free: you don't disappear in one dramatic scene — you disappear in the moments nobody names (the yes you didn't mean, the opinion you swallowed, the burnt corner of the casserole you took). And you can't choose a different response if you've never been handed one. So the win and the practice isn't being braver in the moment — it's deciding ahead of time what you'll reach for. I'll give you one clean sentence that needs no apology after it, and a permission slip to say the thing once and let it stand. Not loudly. Just a whisper truer than feels comfortable. What I made you: the Rebel Response Mini Kit ($7) — seven real-life moments, the exact words for each, a word bank for when you go blank, and a courage practice you can start today. Link wherever you're listening → www.RachelHarrisOnline.com/Kit Doors are open: the Good Girl Ghosting Reset founding round is live. Founding Sisters get the lowest price it'll ever be and a real voice in what we build. Link in the shownotes, or DM me the word RESET on socials and I'll send you everything. You don't have to become a different person to stop disappearing. You just have to have something to reach for. And now you do. The Joyful Rebel • Good Girl Ghosting™ | Rachel Harris  #GoodGirlGhosting #JoyfulRebel #over40women #peoplepleasing #midlifewomen #boundaries  Resources: - Free Play: REBEL JOY Card Deck — Romanticize your life and reclaim your light — one tiny rebellion at a time. Seven print-and-keep cards, each with one brave, joyful prompt. Pick a card, set a 60-second timer, and play. Start Playing Again! https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/72c327f4a4  - For the exact scripts for the next time you go blank or catch yourself saying an automatic yes, grab the Rebel Response Mini Kit here: https://rachelharrisonline.com/product-details/product/the-rebel-response-mini-kit - FREE: Are YOU a Good Girl Ghost? Free Guide: 5 Moments You're Abandoning Yourself (Without Even Realizing It) https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/e6b737ec08 - Work with me 1:1 on the Rebel Path — a single Rebel Hour, or the Rebel   Practice 12-week mentorship: https://rachelharrisonline.com/work-with-me My Substack Page, Goodbye, Good Girl: https://joyfulrebel.substack.com/ Are YOU A Joyful Rebel? https://rachelharrisonline.com/joyful-rebel

How to Stop Treating Yourself Like a Problem: Ending Self-Criticism After 40

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2543536/fan_mail/new] In this episode, I get honest about the way I used to talk to myself in front of the bathroom mirror — and what I finally noticed the day I slowed down enough to actually hear it. We’re talking about the Integrity Gap: that quiet space between what I say I value and how I actually treat myself. It’s where most of us disappear, not in one dramatic moment, but in a thousand tiny, socially rewarded ones. I’ll show you why your nervous system is tracking every word, and the small, embarrassingly doable practice I use to rebuild self-trust one kept promise at a time. In this episode: •             Why self-betrayal is rarely dramatic — and what it actually sounds like (“I knew… and I swallowed it”) •             The Integrity Gap: the distance between your stated beliefs and your lived patterns •             The mirror moment that changed how I start every morning •             Why curiosity interrupts shame — and how to swap “what’s wrong with you” for “what happened there?” •             SPE: how to catch whether you’re Shrinking, Performing, or Embodying in real time •             The Integrity Repair™ — rebuilding self-trust one tiny kept promise at a time •             The Blessed Language mirror practice (one true sentence where your eyes already go) A few lines worth remembering: •             “Your brain is listening. Your body is listening. Your nervous system is listening.” •             “I decided to remove contempt from the room. That alone was revolutionary.” •             “Curiosity interrupts shame. The noticing itself is the first rebellion.” •             “Big self-trust is built through small integrity.” •             “You are allowed to grow without contempt.” Next steps: •             New to all this? DM me MY STORY and I’ll send you my free guide, 5 Moments You’re Abandoning Yourself (Without Even Realizing It). •             Want the exact words for the moment you freeze or hand yourself over? The $7 Rebel Response™ Mini Kit is the smallest first step — DM me KIT and I’ll send you the link. •             Loved the episode? DM me LISTEN and I’ll make sure you don’t miss next week’s on visibility. #GoodGirlGhosting #JoyfulRebel #midlifewomen #selftrustcoach #selfbetrayalhealing The Joyful Rebel • Good Girl Ghosting™ | Rachel Harris Resources: - Free Play: REBEL JOY Card Deck — Romanticize your life and reclaim your light — one tiny rebellion at a time. Seven print-and-keep cards, each with one brave, joyful prompt. Pick a card, set a 60-second timer, and play. Start Playing Again! https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/72c327f4a4  - For the exact scripts for the next time you go blank or catch yourself saying an automatic yes, grab the Rebel Response Mini Kit here: https://rachelharrisonline.com/product-details/product/the-rebel-response-mini-kit - FREE: Are YOU a Good Girl Ghost? Free Guide: 5 Moments You're Abandoning Yourself (Without Even Realizing It) https://rachel-harris-online.kit.com/e6b737ec08 - Work with me 1:1 on the Rebel Path — a single Rebel Hour, or the Rebel   Practice 12-week mentorship: https://rachelharrisonline.com/work-with-me My Substack Page, Goodbye, Good Girl: https://joyfulrebel.substack.com/ Are YOU A Joyful Rebel? https://rachelharrisonline.com/joyful-rebel