Allyship That Costs You Something: 3 Ways to Stop Performing and Start Showing Up

Allyship That Costs You Something: 3 Ways to Stop Performing and Start Showing Up

What does real allyship actually look like when there's no audience, no applause, and nothing to gain? In this episode, Shola Richards explores the difference between performative allyship and the kind of everyday actions that create lasting change. Inspired by lessons learned in the years following the murder of George Floyd, Shola shares why meaningful allyship isn't measured by social media posts or public statements, but by the quiet choices we make when nobody is watching.   Through the episode, Shola shares research about the bystander effect and illustrates what courageous leadership looks like with real-life examples. He also introduces three practical strategies for becoming a more effective ally across race, gender, disability, sexuality, religion, and other differences that shape our experiences. The episode will help every ally understand how to use social and professional capital to support others and why the focus should be on building sustainable, lifelong allyship habits.   The Kindness Strategies: * The Private Allyship Test * The Real Cost Practice * The LongHaul Commitment  If you want to be a better ally, this one is for you!  Timestamps: 00:00 - Mainstream Performative Allyship 04:26 - What Do You Do When No One Is Watching? 09:39 - Using Your Professional & Social Capital 14:50 - Allyship as a Lifetime Commitment 18:45 - Conclusion: Be a Better Ally   For speaking requests or collaborations: https://sholarichards.com/speaking/?utm_source=kindness_extremist&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=ep69 🔗 Connect with Shola: Instagram – @sholarichards [https://www.instagram.com/sholarichards] Website – sholarichards.com [https://www.sholarichards.com/] Read more on Substack [https://substack.com/@sholarichards ]. This podcast is produced by https://www.micmoguls.com

Road Rage and Real Ones: 3 Ways to Stay Kind When Everyone Else Drives Like a Maniac

Most of us think we're kind, patient people - that is until someone cuts you off in traffic. In this episode, Shola Richards explores why road rage happens, the surprising psychology that makes us judge other drivers differently than ourselves, and three practical strategies to help you stay calm when traffic puts your character to the test.   The Kindness Strategies: ✔️ The Driver Reframe ✔️ The 30-Second Pause Practice ✔️ The Driver Intention Practice   If your commute leaves you feeling angry and stressed, this episode might just change what happens every time you get behind the wheel. For speaking requests or collaborations: https://sholarichards.com/speaking/?utm_source=kindness_extremist&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=ep68 [https://sholarichards.com/speaking/?utm_source=kindness_extremist&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=ep68]   🔗 Connect with Shola: Instagram – @sholarichards [https://www.instagram.com/sholarichards] Website – sholarichards.com [https://www.sholarichards.com/] Read more on Substack [https://substack.com/@sholarichards ]. This podcast is produced by https://www.micmoguls.com

Mirror Work: How to Finally Make Peace with the One Human You Can’t Escape

Most of us would never speak to a friend the way we speak to ourselves in the mirror. So why do we believe our bodies deserve criticism instead of compassion? In this episode, Shola Richards uncovers the hidden cost of negative body talk and why self-criticism rarely creates positive, lasting change. Backed by research on self-compassion and filled with practical kindness strategies, this episode challenges the belief that shame is a good motivator and offers a healthier, more sustainable path forward.   Shola explains how body kindness is different from body positivity and explores where your inner critic may have come from in the first place. Plus, he shares three simple practices that can help you build a more compassionate relationship with the one place you'll spend your entire life: your body.   The Kindness Strategies: ✔ The Body Gratitude Practice ✔ The Mean Talk Interruption ✔ The Body Kindness Action   If you've struggled with body image and are ready to quiet the harsh voice in your head, this conversation will help you move forward with self-kindness instead!    Resources mentioned in this episode: * Dr. Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/ [https://self-compassion.org/] * Episode 31: The Truth About Procrastination [It's Not What You Think] https://youtu.be/FEz4XEZGxIE [https://youtu.be/FEz4XEZGxIE] For speaking requests or collaborations: https://sholarichards.com/speaking/?utm_source=kindness_extremist&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=ep67 [https://sholarichards.com/speaking/?utm_source=kindness_extremist&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=ep67] 🔗 Connect with Shola: Instagram – @sholarichards [https://www.instagram.com/sholarichards] Website – sholarichards.com [https://www.sholarichards.com/] Read more on Substack [https://substack.com/@sholarichards ]. This podcast is produced by https://www.micmoguls.com

Intuition or Anxiety? How to Tell Which Signal is Trying to Save You or Ruin You

Can you actually tell the difference between anxiety and intuition? For many people, distinguishing between these two sensations can feel impossible. In this episode, Shola Richards breaks down three practical strategies that can help you recognize which inner voice you're actually hearing before making your next big decision. Through the episode, Shola shares the personal story of how anxiety nearly convinced him to walk away from the work he was called to do, plus examples of what happens when you learn to listen to your intuition. You'll discover why anxiety creates urgency, why intuition rarely does, and how slowing down may be the most powerful decision-making skill you can develop.   The Kindness Strategies: ✔ The Body Signal Check  ✔ The Pattern Test  ✔ The Slow Knowing Practice   Stop getting caught up in the stories that anxiety is feeding you, and start listening to your inner wisdom instead. Whether you're facing a career decision, relationship challenge, or simply relearning to trust yourself, these strategies can help you move forward with greater clarity and confidence.   Resources mentioned in this episode: * Dr. Antonio Damasio, Author of Descartes' Error: https://dornsife.usc.edu/profile/antonio-damasio/ [https://dornsife.usc.edu/profile/antonio-damasio/]   For speaking requests or collaborations: https://sholarichards.com/speaking/?utm_source=kindness_extremist&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=ep66 [https://sholarichards.com/speaking/?utm_source=kindness_extremist&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=ep66]   🔗 Connect with Shola: Instagram – @sholarichards [https://www.instagram.com/sholarichards] Website – sholarichards.com [https://www.sholarichards.com/] Read more on Substack [https://substack.com/@sholarichards ]. This podcast is produced by https://www.micmoguls.com

The Kindness of Asking for Help: 3 Ways to Stop Carrying It All Alone

Most people assume that asking for help makes them a burden. But the truth may be the exact opposite. In this episode, Shola Richards explores a powerful truth that many high-achievers, caregivers, and chronic over-functioners need to hear: asking for help is not a weakness. On the contrary, it's actually one of the most profound acts of kindness you can offer yourself and the people who care about you.   Through the episode, Shola reveals why so many of us struggle to ask for support, how we dramatically underestimate people's willingness to help, and what it looks like to build healthier, more connected relationships by allowing others to show up for us. You'll learn a simple framework for identifying where you're carrying too much alone, how to make effective requests without guilt or awkwardness, and why learning to receive help may be the growth edge you've been avoiding.   The Kindness Strategies: * The Self-Reliance Inventory  * The Specific Ask Protocol * The Receiving Practice   Allowing people to help you may be one of the greatest gifts you can give them, and this episode will help you do so without shame.   Resources mentioned in this episode: * Dr. Vanessa Bohns: https://www.vanessabohns.com/ [https://www.vanessabohns.com/] * Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson: https://www.heidigrantphd.com/ [https://www.heidigrantphd.com/] For speaking requests or collaborations: https://sholarichards.com/speaking/?utm_source=kindness_extremist&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=ep64 [https://sholarichards.com/speaking/?utm_source=kindness_extremist&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=ep64] 🔗 Connect with Shola: Instagram – @sholarichards [https://www.instagram.com/sholarichards] Website – sholarichards.com [https://www.sholarichards.com/] Read more on Substack [https://substack.com/@sholarichards ]. This podcast is produced by https://www.micmoguls.com