Episode #96 You’re Not Failing—You’re Missing a Step

Episode #96 You’re Not Failing—You’re Missing a Step

What if the behavior you’re struggling with isn’t the real problem? While training Denny, our yearling mustang, I realized how much working with a young horse feels like parenting: everyone has advice, nothing works for every individual, and you are often learning what to do while trying to teach someone else. In this episode, I’m sharing the moments that made me wonder whether I had taken on more than I could handle—and the lessons that completely changed how I worked with Denny and my kids. After getting support from horsewomen Amy Budd and Kayla Stone, I began to see what I had been missing. I was becoming so focused on completing the task that I was losing connection with the horse in front of me. I was expecting results without breaking the task into the small skills required to succeed. And sometimes, what looked like resistance was actually fear, confusion, limited capacity, or completely normal behavior for her age. The same thing happens in parenting—and in our own lives. We expect ourselves and our children to complete the whole task, regulate the big emotion, follow the direction, or handle the hard situation. But sometimes there is a missing step no one has identified or taught yet. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why connection can disappear when we become overly focused on the outcome * How unclear communication creates frustration for both parents and children * Why behavior may be a sign of fear, confusion, or exceeded capacity * How to break overwhelming tasks into smaller, achievable steps * Why celebrating micro-successes builds confidence and understanding * How breaks prevent stress from continuing to accumulate * What horses can teach us about attention, presence, and co-regulation * Why age-appropriate expectations matter for children, animals, and adults * How letting go of your agenda can create more progress—not less You’ll also hear the story of Denny learning to cross a bridge, the surprising way my eight-year-old helped her do it, and what that moment taught me about curiosity, patience, and allowing someone to learn through experience. You do not always need to push harder. Sometimes you need to pause, reconnect, clarify the next step, and ask: Does this person actually know how to do every part of what I’m asking? Because when someone is missing a step, they cannot succeed through pressure alone. And when we stop treating every struggle like defiance or failure, we create room for learning, confidence, connection, and real progress. TOPICS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE: Parenting stress, child behavior, emotional regulation, nervous system regulation, co-regulation, parenting preteens, parenting strong-willed children, mustang training, horse training, liberty work, capacity, fight-or-flight responses, experiential learning, breaking down tasks, communication with children, age-appropriate expectations, and building trust. Follow Landy on Instagram at @landy_peek to see Denny’s mustang-training journey and the moments behind the podcast.

Episode #95 When “Fine” Isn’t Actually Fine

This week on The Landy Peek Podcast, I’m sharing a moment with Denny that did not go the way I wanted. We were working on fly spray, and after I thought we had taken the right steps, she had a big spook. What had felt like progress suddenly became a place where we had to slow way down, go back to the beginning, and rebuild trust. This episode is about the difference between tolerating something and truly feeling okay with it. Because sometimes a horse can stand there and seem fine, but her body is not actually settled. And honestly, we do this as humans too. We get through the hard thing. We hold it together. We survive the moment. But that does not always mean our body has fully processed what happened. In this episode, I talk about anticipation, stress, repair, nervous system responses, parenting, anxiety, and the way horses can reveal what we so often miss in ourselves. We’ll look at why “we’ve done this before” does not always mean “we’re okay today,” why repair often takes longer than prevention, and why the body needs to know the answer before the question is asked. This conversation is for anyone who has ever realized they were calling something fine when their body was only tolerating it.

Episode #94 The 13th Rabbit: Why You Explode Over “Nothing”

Have you ever snapped over something small and then wondered, Why did I react like that? The backpack on the floor. The socks no one can find. The one more question at the end of a long day. In this episode, Landy shares what training her wild Mustang yearling, Denny, is teaching her about stress, attunement, parenting, nervous system regulation, and the moment we mistake the “last thing” for the real problem. Using Warwick Schiller’s concept of the 13 rabbits, Landy explores why people — and horses — don’t usually explode out of nowhere. There are almost always subtle signals first. A turned ear. A step away. A shorter fuse. A body already carrying too much. This conversation bridges horse training, motherhood, perimenopause, emotional reactivity, and the reality that we are not the same person every day. Some days we have more capacity. Some days we are closer to our limit before the day even begins. And when we learn to work with the horse, the child, the partner, and the self we actually have today, everything changes. IN THIS EPISODE Landy talks about: * Why small things can trigger big reactions * Warwick Schiller’s “13 rabbits” concept * What Denny the Mustang revealed about stress and attunement * Why behavior is often communication, not defiance * The difference between agenda-driven interaction and relational awareness * What “work with the horse you have today” means in real life * How this applies to parenting, partnership, perimenopause, and daily overwhelm * Why subtle signals matter before the big blow-up * How nervous systems need real reset moments, not constant pushing through Follow our journey on IG @landy_Peek

Episode #93 Trust Is Built Before Anyone Asks Anything of You

Trust isn't built when you ask for something. It's built long before that moment ever arrives. Before a horse accepts a halter, lifts a hoof, or follows your lead, they're studying you. They're paying attention to whether you're predictable, consistent, attentive, and safe to be around. People do the same thing. In this episode, we're sharing our first two days working with Denny, the wild mustang yearling we were matched with through the Mustang Challenge. Joined by my daughter Tegan and son Isaac, we talk about the unexpected milestones, surprising moments, and the foundation that made them possible. What surprised us wasn't what Denny learned. It was how much trust had already been built before we ever asked anything of her. Together we explore: • Why relationship comes before training • The surprising progress Denny made in her first two days • What horses teach us about trust, safety, and connection • How choice creates confidence • Why calm training isn't boring—it's the goal • The balance between trusting a horse and respecting that they're still a horse • What happens when you stop focusing on outcomes and start paying attention to the relationship This conversation goes far beyond horses. It's about leadership, parenting, relationships, and the reality that trust is rarely built in the big moments. It's built in the hundreds of small interactions that happen beforehand. Because before anyone follows your lead, they're deciding whether they feel safe with you.

Episode #92 We can't save 63,000 horses. But we can change one life.

What happens when a mother and daughter open the email that will shape their entire summer? In this special episode of The Landy Peek Podcast, Landy and Tegan finally learn which Devil's Garden Mustang yearling they'll be training through the Wild Rose Mustang Challenge—and the reaction is everything. But this episode is about more than a horse assignment. It's about the complex reality of America's wild horse population, the thousands of horses currently living in government holding facilities, and the opportunity to make a difference one horse at a time. Landy shares a thoughtful look at the conversations surrounding wild horse management, adoption, and training while exploring why horses have such a remarkable ability to read human energy, emotion, and authenticity. From nervous system science to herd dynamics, this episode examines what horses can teach us about trust, leadership, congruence, and connection. You'll also hear the story of Maddie the Clydesdale, lessons from liberty work, and why horses don't respond to who we pretend to be—they respond to who we actually are. And then comes the moment you've been waiting for: The email opens. The screaming starts. And Denny officially becomes part of the family. IN THIS EPISODE: * The reality behind America's wild horse population * Why over 60,000 wild horses currently live in holding facilities * The role of adoption and training programs in creating better futures for mustangs * What horses teach us about trust, leadership, and authenticity * The science of horse-human co-regulation * Lessons from liberty work and joining up * Why horses read energy better than most humans * The emotional story of Landy and Tegan meeting their summer mustang * The official reveal of Denny, their Devil's Garden yearling CONNECT WITH LANDY Follow the journey as Landy and Tegan document every step of training their wild mustang yearling this summer. Instagram: @landy_peek