Episode 27: How Internalized Misogyny is Harmful to Everyone

Episode 27: How Internalized Misogyny is Harmful to Everyone

What is internalized misogyny, how does it form, and how it shows up in everyday life — even among feminists? Bethany breaks down the science, calls out examples (yes, even the “I’m not like other women” energy), and gives practical strategies to unlearn harmful beliefs. Includes research-backed insights, real-life examples, and resources to keep growing. Trigger warning: discussion of gendered harassment, mental health, suicide, and body policing Connect with me! Instagram [http://instagram.com/modernmilfpodcast]  TikTok [http://tiktok.com/modernmilfpodcast]  Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/themodernmilfpodcast] Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com [lovewithbethany@gmail.com] To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree [http://linktree.com/modernmilfpodcast] Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany Theme music by MobyGratis References * Bem, S. L. (1981). Gender schema theory: A cognitive account of sex typing. Psychological Review, 88(4), 354–364. * Eagly, A. H., & Karau, S. J. (2002). Role congruity theory of prejudice toward female leaders. Psychological Review, 109(3), 573–598. * Swim, J. K., Aikin, K. J., Hall, W. S., & Hunter, B. A. (1995). Sexism and sexism-related attitudes: A meta-analytic review. Sex Roles, 32(11–12), 763–784. * Steele, C. M., & Aronson, J. (1995). Stereotype threat and the intellectual test performance of African Americans. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(5), 797–811. * Rudman, L. A., & Glick, P. (2001). Prescriptive gender stereotypes and backlash toward agentic women. Journal of Social Issues, 57(4), 743–762. * Glick, P., & Fiske, S. T. (1996). The Ambivalent Sexism Inventory: Differentiating hostile and benevolent sexism. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70(3), 491–512. * Levy, S. R., & Killen, M. (2008). Intergroup attitudes and stereotypes in childhood through adulthood: Developmental changes and implications for prejudice reduction. Social Issues and Policy Review, 2(1), 79–102. * Gilligan, C. (1982). In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women’s Development. * Hays, S. (1996). The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood. * Fredrickson, B. L., & Roberts, T.-A. (1997). Objectification theory: Toward understanding women’s lived experiences and mental health risks. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 21(2), 173–206. * Dasgupta, N., & Asgari, S. (2004). Seeing is believing: Exposure to counterstereotypic women leaders and its effect on the malleability of automatic gender stereotyping. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 40(5), 642–658. * Correll, S. J., Benard, S., & Paik, I. (2007). Getting a job: Is there a motherhood penalty? American Journal of Sociology, 112(5), 1297–1339. * Kabeer, N. (1999). Resources, Agency, Achievements: Reflections on the measurement of women’s empowerment. Development and Change, 30(3), 435–464. * hooks, bell. (2000). Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. * Collins, P. H. (2000). Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment.

Episode 26: Becoming Clit-erate - The Sex Ed You Didn't Know You Needed

In this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, Bethany guides listeners through a sex-positive conversation about the clitoris: its anatomy, location, development, role in sexual pleasure, and how clitoral orgasms differ from orgasms caused by vaginal penetration. The episode mixes approachable science, practical tips for partners and solo exploration, myth-busting, and citations from medical and sex-positive professionals. Connect with me! Instagram [http://instagram.com/modernmilfpodcast]  TikTok [http://tiktok.com/modernmilfpodcast]  Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/themodernmilfpodcast] Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com [lovewithbethany@gmail.com] To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree [http://linktree.com/modernmilfpodcast] Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany Theme music by MobyGratis References   1. O’Connell, H. E., Sanjeevan, K. V., & Hutson, J. M. (2005). Anatomy of the clitoris. The Journal of Urology, 174(4), 1189–1195. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.ju.0000173639.38898.cd [https://doi.org/10.1097/01.ju.0000173639.38898.cd] National Institutes of Health [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16145367/] 2. O’Connell, H. E., Hutson, J. M., Anderson, C. R., & Plenter, R. J. (1998). Anatomical relationship between urethra and clitoris. The Journal of Urology, 159(6), 1892–1897. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0022-5347(01)63188-4 [https://doi.org/10.1016/S0022-5347(01)63188-4] Arizona State University [https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/anatomy-clitoris-2005-helen-e-oconnell-kalavampara-v-sanjeevan-and-john-m-hutson] 3. O’Connell, H. E., DeLancey, J. O. L., & others. (2005). Clitoral anatomy in nulliparous, healthy, premenopausal volunteers using unenhanced magnetic resonance imaging. The Journal of Urology, 173(6), 2060–2063. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.ju.0000169480.94583.6f [https://doi.org/10.1097/01.ju.0000169480.94583.6f] Arizona State University [https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/anatomy-clitoris-2005-helen-e-oconnell-kalavampara-v-sanjeevan-and-john-m-hutson] 4. Pauls, R. N., & Mazloomdoost, D. (2015). A comprehensive review of the clitoris and its role in female sexual function. Sexual Medicine Reviews, 3(4), 245–263. https://doi.org/10.1002/smrj.35 [https://doi.org/10.1002/smrj.35] cliterate.com.au [https://www.cliterate.com.au/history] 5. Foldès, P., & Buisson, O. (2009). The clitoral complex: A dynamic sonographic study. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 6(5), 1223–1231. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01231.x [https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01231.x] cliterate.com.au [https://www.cliterate.com.au/history] 6. Graziottin, A., & Brotto, L. A. (2016). Female sexual pain and pelvic floor dysfunction: A multidisciplinary approach. In S. Goldstein et al. (Eds.), Women's Sexual Function and Dysfunction (2nd ed.). CRC Press. (Clinical guidance on pelvic floor and pain.) cliterate.com.au [https://www.cliterate.com.au/history]  7. International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH). Clinical resources and patient information on female sexual health. https://www.isswsh.org/ [https://www.isswsh.org/] cliterate.com.au [https://www.cliterate.com.au/history] 8. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). Patient education on vulvar health, sexual function, and pelvic pain. https://www.acog.org/ [https://www.acog.org/] cliterate.com.au [https://www.cliterate.com.au/history] 9. Levin, R. J. (2002). The physiology of sexual arousal in the human female: A recreational and procreational synthesis. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 31(5), 405–411. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1020644126818 [https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1020644126818] (Discussion of physiological responses and overlap between clitoral and vaginal stimulation.) slv.vic.gov.au [https://guides.slv.vic.gov.au/misinformation/casestudy3] 10. Kingsberg, S. A., & Althof, S. E. (2012). Psychological and interpersonal aspects of female sexual function and dysfunction. In A. L. Lloyd et al. (Eds.), Practical Guide to Female Sexual Dysfunction. (Context on orgasm variability and sex therapy approaches.) slv.vic.gov.au [https://guides.slv.vic.gov.au/misinformation/casestudy3] 11. Stringer, M. D., & Becker, J. M. (2019). Colombo and the clitoris: An anatomical renaissance. The Lancet, 393(10171), 1464–1465. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(19)30547-6 [https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(19)30547-6] (Historical perspective.) cliterate.com.au [https://www.cliterate.com.au/history] 12. Uloko, M., Isabey, E. P., & Peters, B. R. (2023). How many nerve fibers innervate the human glans clitoris: A histomorphometric evaluation of the dorsal nerve of the clitoris. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 20(3), 247–252. https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdac027 [https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdac027] (Recent quantification of innervation.) slv.vic.gov.au [https://guides.slv.vic.gov.au/misinformation/casestudy3]

Episode 25: How Self-Care Makes You Truly Selfless

On this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, Bethany gets real, flirty, and practical about why tending to yourself isn’t selfish — it’s the secret to giving more, better, and longer. Backed by research on self‑compassion, mindfulness, and prosocial behavior, this episode shows how self‑care rewires your stress response, boosts empathy, and protects you from burnout so you can show up for the people you love. Expect science, laughs, short guided practices, and juicy takeaways you can use this week. References   * Hoge EA, Acabchuk RL, Kimmel H, et al. Emotion-related constructs engaged by mindfulness-based interventions: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Mindfulness. 2021;12(5):1041–1062. DOI:10.1007/s12671-020-01561-w. * Singer T, Klimecki OM. Empathy and compassion. Current Biology. 2014;24(18):875–878. DOI:10.1016/j.cub.2014.06.054. * Systematic review: "Mindfulness, Compassion, and Self-Compassion Among Health Care Professionals: What's New?" Frontiers in Psychology (systematic review compiling studies on mindfulness/self-compassion reducing burnout and compassion fatigue). * Neff KD. Self‑compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity. 2003;2(2):85–101. (Foundational self‑compassion conceptual paper.) * Neff KD, Germer CK. Mindful Self‑Compassion (MSC) program materials and research — randomized trials and pilot studies showing reductions in stress and burnout after self‑compassion training. * Zessin U, Dickhauser O, Garbade S. The relationship between self‑compassion and well‑being: A meta‑analysis. Applied Psychology: Health and Well‑Being. 2015;7(3):340–364. * Gawande R., To M.N., Pine E., Griswold T., et al. Mindfulness training enhances self-regulation and facilitates health behavior change for primary care patients: randomized controlled trials and pilot studies (Harvard/Center for Mindfulness publications; see related RCTs and reviews). * Fredrickson BL, Cohn MA, Coffey KA, Pek J, Finkel SM. Open hearts build lives: positive emotions induced through loving‑kindness meditation build consequential personal resources. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2008;95(5):1045–1062. * MacBeth A, Gumley A. Exploring compassion: A meta‑analysis of the association between self‑compassion and psychopathology. Clinical Psychology Review. 2012;32(6):545–552. * Delaney MC. Caring for the Caregivers: Evaluation of an eight-week mindful self‑compassion (MSC) training program on nurses’ compassion fatigue and resilience. (Pilot evaluation, PLoS ONE 2018). * Lamothe M, Rondeau É, Malboeuf‑Hurtubise C, Duval M, Sultan S. Outcomes of mindfulness‑based stress reduction (MBSR) for healthcare providers: proof‑of‑concept studies showing increases in empathy and reductions in burnout. * Reviews and meta‑analyses of mindfulness-based interventions (MBIs) and emotion regulation, including Harvard Review of Psychiatry 2020 Mindfulness and Behavior Change and related systematic reviews. * Studies and reviews on prosocial behavior and health outcomes showing positive effects of helping on well‑being via reward systems (see Singer & Klimecki review; prosocial neuroscience literature). * Behavior change and habit formation frameworks: BJ Fogg — Tiny Habits method and evidence around brief practices building long‑term habit change. * Additional systematic reviews and RCTs demonstrating brief online and in‑person self‑compassion and mindfulness trainings reduce stress and burnout among caregivers and health professionals (e.g., Eriksson et al., 2018; Finlay‑Jones et al., 2017; Krasner et al., 2009).

Episode 24: Love vs. Limerence — What’s Really Driving Your Heart?

In this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, Bethany untangles love and limerence: what each is, how they feel in the brain and in daily life, how one helps—or harms—relationships, and practical steps to recognize and respond to limerence if it shows up. Includes clinical and neuroscience references for listeners who want to dive deeper. Connect with me! Instagram [http://instagram.com/modernmilfpodcast]  TikTok [http://tiktok.com/modernmilfpodcast]  Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/themodernmilfpodcast] Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com [lovewithbethany@gmail.com] To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree [http://linktree.com/modernmilfpodcast] Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany Theme music by MobyGratis References * Tennov D. Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Stein & Day; 1979.  * Sternberg RJ. A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review. 1986;93(2):119–135.  * Hazan C, Shaver P. Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 1987;52(3):511–524. * Acevedo BP, Aron A, Fisher HE, Brown LL. Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience. 2012;7(2):145–159. * Fisher H. Lust, attraction, and attachment in mammalian reproduction. Human Nature. 1998;9(1):23–52.  * Bode A, Dando O, et al. Proximate and ultimate perspectives on romantic love. Frontiers in Psychology. 2021.  * Hatfield E, Rapson RL. Passionate and Companionate Love. In: Handbook of Theories of Social Psychology. 2016. (On passionate love scales and overlap with limerence.)  * Acevedo et al., “Does a Long-Term Relationship Kill Romantic Love?” (Review literature on romantic love across time.)  * Clinical/therapy resources on intrusive thoughts and CBT approaches for rumination: standard CBT references and reviews (e.g., National Institute for Health and Care Excellence guidance on anxiety and CBT—consult local guidance for specifics).

Episode 23: Erotic Habits: The Secret to Better Sex in Long-Term Relationships

Do you ever miss the version of your relationship where flirting felt effortless, chemistry felt electric, and sex didn’t require a calendar invite? In this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, we’re talking about erotic habits—the small, intentional things couples do that create more connection, more anticipation, and yes… way better sex. Because here’s the truth: passionate relationships aren’t usually built on luck or “spontaneous chemistry.” They’re built through habits. We’ll unpack the science behind desire, why so many women in long-term relationships feel disconnected from their sexuality, and the surprisingly simple shifts that can bring intimacy back online. You’ll learn: * Why good sex in long-term relationships is intentional * The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire * How motherhood, stress, and mental load impact libido * Erotic habits that increase connection and attraction * Why flirting matters—even after years together * How anticipation can completely change your sex life If you’ve been craving more intimacy, more desire, and more fun in your relationship—this episode is for you. Connect with me! Instagram [http://instagram.com/modernmilfpodcast]  TikTok [http://tiktok.com/modernmilfpodcast]  Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/themodernmilfpodcast] Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com [lovewithbethany@gmail.com] To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree [http://linktree.com/modernmilfpodcast] Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany Theme music by MobyGratis References * Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski * Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel * Research on relationship quality and sexual satisfaction in long-term partnerships * Research on responsive desire, emotional intimacy, and women’s sexual wellbeing * Work by Peggy Kleinplatz on optimal sexual experiences in committed relationships * - Basson R. The female sexual response: a different model. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 2000;26(1):51–65.   * - Muise, A., Schimmack, U., & Impett, E. (Year). Title on interpersonal dynamics of sexual desire and desire discrepancy. [Replace with full citation/DOI in show notes].   * - Aron, A., et al. Research on intimacy and interpersonal closeness and its role in romantic relationships. [Include full citation/DOI].   * - Master, M., et al. Studies on mindfulness/sensate-focus interventions and sexual function. [Include full citation/DOI].   * - Lehmiller, J. Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How to Bring It to Life. (2020).   * - McNulty, J.K., & Widman, L. Research on affectionate touch and relationship outcomes. [Include full citation/DOI].   * - Wood, W., Tam, L., & Witt, M.G. Changing circumstances, disrupting habits. [Include full citation].   * - Reviews/meta-analyses on attachment, sexual satisfaction, and oxytocin release following touch. [Include specific citations/DOIs]. * - Sensate Focus protocol — Masters & Johnson-derived therapeutic approaches (clinical resources/handouts).