#52: Why We Let Our Kids Witness Death

#52: Why We Let Our Kids Witness Death

There are moments in life that expose what we really believe. For our family, that moment came when we had to say goodbye to our 13½-year-old Labrador, Bross. This episode isn’t only about losing a dog. It’s about grief. It’s about parenting. It’s about what it means to honor commitment when things become inconvenient, painful, and uncertain. And it’s about the question every parent eventually faces: Do we protect our kids from life’s hardest moments—or invite them in? Over the course of three years, we watched Bross slowly lose the ability to do the things he loved. Eventually, he couldn’t stand on his own, couldn’t control his bladder or bowels, and required constant care. We wrestled with impossible questions: * When does compassion become prolonging suffering? * How do you know when it’s “time”? * Should children be part of those decisions? * What does grief actually look like inside a family? There weren’t easy answers. Only the opportunity to live according to our values. In this episode, we talk about: * Why we chose to involve our kids in every step of Bross’ final season. * The emotional weight of making life-and-death decisions. * Why we believe modern families are often disconnected from death—and how that affects us. * The surprising ways grief showed up differently in each member of our family. * The temptation to rush past pain instead of allowing ourselves to fully experience it. * How emotional regulation tools helped us navigate one of the hardest experiences we’ve faced together. * Why holding space for someone else’s grief can be just as exhausting as carrying your own. * The difference between protecting our children and preparing them for life. One lesson that changed us One realization kept surfacing throughout this journey: Grief isn’t something to fix. It’s something to experience. Our culture often tells us to move on quickly. Find the silver lining. Stay strong. Get back to normal. But healing didn’t come from convincing ourselves we’d made the perfect decision. It came from allowing ourselves to ask difficult questions. From crying. From doubting. From sitting together in silence. From letting every member of our family grieve in their own way, without trying to make it better. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do—for ourselves and for the people we care about—is simply make space. A question for you Is there something in your life you’re trying to “get over” instead of allowing yourself to feel? Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one. A relationship. A job. A dream. Or maybe you’re carrying grief that no one else even knows about. What would happen if, instead of rushing yourself through it, you gave yourself permission to simply be where you are? Our encouragement There is no perfect way to grieve. There is no perfect way to navigate loss. But there is tremendous growth available when we’re willing to stay present with the hard things instead of outsourcing them or escaping them. The deepest parts of being human aren’t found by avoiding pain. They’re found by walking through it—with honesty, courage, and people who are willing to sit beside us. If this conversation resonates with you, we’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment wherever you’re listening. You never know who needs the reminder that they’re not grieving alone. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com [https://colemanhousefield.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

#51: "We Don't Do Parallel Lives" — How Ben & Shauna Weaver Choose Their Marriage Every Day

Ben and Shauna Weaver got married six months before COVID hit — and found out they were pregnant the same month the world shut down. What followed was a crash course in marriage, parenthood, and faith that neither of them saw coming. Ben spent fifteen years in vocational ministry before becoming an entrepreneur and men’s coach. Shauna is a mental health therapist and writer behind the Substack Upside Down Motherhood [https://shaunanw.substack.com/]. Together, they’re two intense, independent people who made a decision early on: they would never sleepwalk through their marriage. In this episode, they get honest about what it actually looks like to keep choosing each other — through career changes, a black mold crisis, and the daily friction of two capable, strong-willed people sharing a life. We cover: * Why the pandemic ended up being one of the sweetest seasons of their marriage * The daily and weekly rhythms keeping them genuinely connected * Navigating two intense personalities without resenting your differences * The “orphan mentality” — living like God is absent even when you say you believe He’s not * Three real-time parenting frameworks: attachment, polyvagal theory, and body budgeting * What they’d tell their younger selves about marriage and parenthood Find Ben & Shauna:Shauna’s Substack: Upside Down Motherhood [https://shaunanw.substack.com/]Ben’s YouTube: Life in the Bigger Story [https://www.youtube.com/@biggerstory] (@biggerstory) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com [https://colemanhousefield.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

#50: Covenant, Not Commitment: How the Clapp Family Built a Marriage Worth Staying In

What does intentional family life actually look like after 32 years of marriage, six kids, two international adoptions, and a whole lot of earned wisdom? In this episode, we sit down with Rick and Laura Clapp — coaches, parents, and longtime mentors to the Housefield family — for one of the most substantive conversations yet on the podcast. Rick is a faith-driven executive coach and strategic retreat leader. Laura is an assessment coach who spent years as a full-time mom before channeling her seminary training and life experience into coaching individuals and couples. Together, they’ve built a family and a marriage that is honest, intentional, and deeply rooted — and they hold nothing back here. They open up about what it took to keep their marriage strong through the chaos of six kids under ten, how they navigated two adoptions from Eswatini, Africa, and why the teenage years nearly broke Laura’s perfectly structured systems — in the best possible way. They get into the real differences between a commitment and a covenant, why laughter has been one of their most underrated marriage tools, and what it felt like when their adult kids came back with feedback they didn’t ask for but needed to hear. If you’re a parent who’s ever thought I know I’m going to hear about this someday, or a spouse who’s wondered whether you’re actually building something that will last — this one is for you. One of our favorite quotes from the interview was this (regarding parenting): You can plant and water but you don’t control the fruit. In this episode: * Why Rick and Laura agreed early on to remove the “eject button” from their marriage — and what that covenant actually looks like in hard seasons * How Laura thrived with toddlers and nearly tapped out with teenagers (and what changed) * The color-coded plate system, the laminated chore charts, and the senior year “living allowance” — practical family systems that actually scaled across six kids * Rick’s three tools for getting out of the “Valley of Suck” after hard parenting moments * What 32 years of pursuing their kids — and each other — has taught them about control, grace, and letting go * Why parenting is not a formula, and what it looks like to trust the process even when you can’t see the fruit yet If you’re curious to learn more about Rick and Laura’s coaching and family you can head over to this website → http://beyondsurvival.org [http://beyondsurvival.org] You can also find Rick on Linkedin → Rick On Linkedin [https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickclapp/] Have a question or comment to share? We would love to hear from you!You can send us an email at:ordinaryfamilyshow@gmail.com Here’s where you can find us online: Websites: https://www.colemanhousefield.com/ https://www.thenaturelabschool.com/ Substack:colemanhousefield.substack.com Instagram:abbyhousefieldcoleman.housefield.coaching This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com [https://colemanhousefield.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

#49: The Check-In: One Simple Habit That Keeps the Geary Marriage Connected

What does a thriving marriage actually look like after 16 years, two adopted daughters, and lots of travel? In this episode, Coleman and Abby sit down with Tommy and Brenda Geary — coaches, adventurers, and parents of two — for one of the most honest and warm conversations we’ve had on the show. Tommy is a men’s life coach and adventure guide, and Brenda works in health and wellness at a university. Together, they’ve built a life that looks a little different from most: no living room furniture, no TV, a woods trail behind their house, and a marriage they both genuinely want to be in. They open up about what it was really like to discover they couldn’t have biological children, how four months of travel in Central America shaped their relationship, and why parenting — not marriage — turned out to be the harder road. They also get into the adoption-specific challenges most parenting books don’t cover, how Dr. Becky Kennedy’s work completely changed the way they show up for their strong-willed eight-year-old, and the simple five-minute check-in practice that keeps them connected even when life gets loud. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing marriage or parenting differently than everyone around you — and wondered if that’s okay — this episode is for you. In this episode: * The “check-in” practice Tommy uses with couples and why Brenda is usually the one to ask for it * Why both Tommy and Brenda say marriage has been the easy part * What adoption taught them about grief, big emotions, and holding two truths at once * How they keep play alive between backpacking trips and bedtime shark games * What they’d each tell their younger selves about marriage and parenting If you’re curious to learn more about Tommy’s coaching and awesome adventure trips you can head over to this website → https://www.tommygcoaching.com/ Have a question or comment to share? We would love to hear from you!You can send us an email at:ordinaryfamilyshow@gmail.com Here’s where you can find us online: Websites: https://www.colemanhousefield.com/ https://www.thenaturelabschool.com/ Substack:colemanhousefield.substack.com Instagram:abbyhousefieldcoleman.housefield.coaching This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com [https://colemanhousefield.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

#48: Stop Waiting for the Weekend: How to Recharge in the Micro Moments

These micro moves can turn your depleted days into energized ones—plus a surprising insight into self-care. It’s not about trying to cram more productivity into every hour; it’s about understanding where our energy actually goes—and how to create more of it. The core insight? We can minimize our drains, but we’ll never fully eliminate them (and you don’t want to, trust me). Instead, the real magic is in managing our energy by adding micro gains—tiny, strategic moments that refill our tank before it hits zero. In this episode, we talk about three camps people fall into when it comes to energy management: those who don’t know what energizes them, those who only associate gains with big, time-consuming acts, and those who mistake entertainment or indulgence for recovery—like binge-watching TV or doom-scrolling. We give you the key to recognizing the difference between relief and recovery. Relief is numbing pain temporarily, but recovery restores us physically, emotionally, and mentally. And here’s something that might surprise you: the most effective gains don’t have to cost a thing. A ten-minute walk, a slow kitchen prep, a focused conversation with someone you love—these micro-moves matter more than we think. They help us stay connected, grounded, and resilient throughout our week. What’s vital, though, is becoming self-aware. Do we know what drains us, or are we just reacting to obligation, culture, or comparison? For example, Abby shared how she realized late-night social media browsing only made her feel more scattered. Once we can name these things, we can start to intentionally design our days, adding short, restorative micro gains and managing inevitable drains. It’s also about language—learning to dig a little deeper than “I feel tired” or “I’m overwhelmed.” Are you overstimulated? Mentally cluttered? Bored? Sometimes, a simple shift in words exposes what our body and mind are actually asking for—movement, rest, or connection. Self-awareness, frankly, is the secret to living intentionally without burning out. Because when we operate from a place of energy—rather than depletion—we show up better for those who matter most in our lives. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of overhaul, start small. Look at your schedule—what’s draining you most? What micro gains can you build in? And plan ahead—if you know a big drain is coming, like a tough meeting or social event, prep yourself with some refueling points. Your body knows what it needs. Your job is to listen, name, and honor it. We wouldd love to hear—what micro gains are you planning to add this week? Or which drain are you working to manage better? Have a great weekend! Coleman + Abby Have a question or comment to share? We would love to hear from you!You can send us an email at:ordinaryfamilyshow@gmail.com Here’s where you can find us online: Websites: https://www.colemanhousefield.com/ https://www.thenaturelabschool.com/ Substack:colemanhousefield.substack.com Instagram:abbyhousefieldcoleman.housefield.coaching This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com [https://colemanhousefield.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]