The Twelfth House

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thetwelfthhouse.substack.com [https://thetwelfthhouse.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] 📚 Resources and Links: * 📩 Connect with host ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michelle Pellizzon-Lipsitz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/michellepellizzonlipsitz/?hl=en]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠team Holisticism⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/holisticism/?hl=en] * Sign up for the North Node waitlist here [https://michelle-509f.mykajabi.com/north-node-2024] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ * Inquire about 1:1 work with Michelle here [https://www.notion.so/12fa2ea10eb780878280ef2acf269be2?pvs=21] * Holisticism Resources 4 u: * Ruthless Clarity [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/ruthless] — an 8-week email course designed to help you achieve crystal-clear certainty about your goals, desires, and energy allocation * How to Begin: A Project Planning Class [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/howtobegin] — a 90-m on-demand class that teaches you exactly how to sketch a effervescent project plan that'll fill you with glee and inspiration and instantly banish procrastination and overwhelm, so your brilliant ideas can finally come to life. * The Subconscious Audit [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/subconsciousaudit] — an 11-day diagnostic framework that helps you identify what's holding you back and making you *feel* blocked. Because you're never actually blocked * The New Age Playbook for Spellbinding, Can’t-Stop-Reading Copy [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/newage-playbook] — a 35-page downloadable workbook to take your writing from blah to bingeable Ello! Thanks for bearing with me as this week’s episode comes out a day later than usual — I’m halfway through in an intensive 20-day Feldenkrais Method [http://feldenkrais-losangeles.com] in-person training in Ann Arbor and admittedly I’m a little, “what day is it? who am I? where do the bounds of my body end and begin? what is consciousness, even?” on top of having long days and a not-so-quiet shared Airbnb with my partner and 2.5 year old :) Real quick, reminder that I’m teaching a free class called: 🔮 HOW TO POSITION YOURSELF AS THE EXPERT YOU ALREADY ARE AND GET PAID TO BE YOURSELF (EVEN IF YOUR EXPERTISE IS "INVISIBLE" TO YOU)! 📅 June 25th at 2p ET 💻 Live + interactive on Zoom 👉 [https://partiful.com/e/MWRtJ3zoHM0SWWs61SsG]CLICK HERE TO SAVE YOUR SPOT [https://partiful.com/e/MWRtJ3zoHM0SWWs61SsG] In this workshop, I'll walk you through: * The 3 types of invisible expertise everyone has, no matter how old or young or experienced or educated or witchy or talented you are or aren’t * A live "expertise archaeology" exercise where we dig through your psychological rubble to find buried treasure (metaphorically speaking — although if you wanna wear your best Indiana Jones cosplay garb I’m not gonna stop you) * The #1 money story keeping spiritual people broke (hint: it's not just "money is the root of all evil," though that's definitely in the top 5) * A simple framework for testing if your knowledge is monetizable without sacrificing your firstborn to the algorithm gods or becoming one of those people who DMs strangers about "passive income opportunities" * How to decide what to monetize, and what to keep for yourself 😇 and how your expertise plays into that choice either way! It’s going to be fun! Lemme hype you up!!!!! You can register for the class here [https://partiful.com/e/MWRtJ3zoHM0SWWs61SsG]. Today’s episode begins to wind down our Failure Tolerance series [https://thetwelfthhouse.substack.com/t/failure-tolerance], and in it I’m answering a few key questions that came up from our subscribers around: * How to continue to push yourself and your failure tolerance as things begin to get easier

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thetwelfthhouse.substack.com [https://thetwelfthhouse.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] 📚 Resources and Links: * 📩 Connect with host ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michelle Pellizzon-Lipsitz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/michellepellizzonlipsitz/?hl=en]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠team Holisticism⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/holisticism/?hl=en] * Sign up for the North Node waitlist here [https://michelle-509f.mykajabi.com/north-node-2024] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ * Inquire about 1:1 work with Michelle here [https://www.notion.so/12fa2ea10eb780878280ef2acf269be2?pvs=21] * Holisticism Resources 4 u: * Ruthless Clarity [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/ruthless] — an 8-week email course designed to help you a…

📚 Resources and Links: * 📩 Connect with host ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michelle Pellizzon-Lipsitz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/michellepellizzonlipsitz/?hl=en]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠team Holisticism⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/holisticism/?hl=en] * Sign up for the North Node waitlist here [https://michelle-509f.mykajabi.com/north-node-2024] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ * Inquire about 1:1 work with Michelle here [https://www.notion.so/12fa2ea10eb780878280ef2acf269be2?pvs=21] * Holisticism Resources 4 u: * Ruthless Clarity [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/ruthless] — an 8-week email course designed to help you achieve crystal-clear certainty about your goals, desires, and energy allocation * How to Begin: A Project Planning Class [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/howtobegin] — a 90-m on-demand class that teaches you exactly how to sketch a effervescent project plan that'll fill you with glee and inspiration and instantly banish procrastination and overwhelm, so your brilliant ideas can finally come to life. * The Subconscious Audit [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/subconsciousaudit] — an 11-day diagnostic framework that helps you identify what's holding you back and making you *feel* blocked. Because you're never actually blocked * The New Age Playbook for Spellbinding, Can’t-Stop-Reading Copy [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/newage-playbook] — a 35-page downloadable workbook to take your writing from blah to bingeable So here's what happened. I decided to bleach my eyebrows because I love a bold look and figured it would be a perfect way to flex my failure tolerance muscle. For context: I am AGGRESSIVELY Italian. My 23andMe results came back with just, like, a picture of spaghetti as my genetic makeup. While my deepest dream is to be one of those effortless California blondes who look like they were born in a yoga studio, raised on kombucha, and have never experienced a single day of humidity-induced frizz, my Mediterranean follicles would literally dissolve into dust before they'd submit to the industrial-strength peroxide required to achieve my Scandinavian fantasy. But failure tolerance, right? So I went for it. First attempt at going full Julia Fox: Orange eyebrows. My sister FaceTimed me and couldn't speak for two minutes because she was laughing so hard. Second attempt, because apparently I'm a glutton for punishment and also definitely have some unresolved issues around perfectionism: I now look like if Austin Butler's creepy uncle from Dune had a midlife crisis, joined a failed electronica band, and decided to reinvent himself as a SoundCloud rapper. When I showed my very supportive husband, his response was simply: "Oh no, honey. No, Michelle." And you know what? It was PERFECT failure tolerance practice because everything really is low stakes. Worst case scenario? I dye them back. It takes five minutes. No big deal. At least I TRIED it. Now I know I have the no-eyebrow look in my arsenal if I ever need to be truly intimidating. The Sacred Law of Compensation If you read this week’s ritual [https://thetwelfthhouse.substack.com/p/a-ritual-practice-for-transmuting?r=e0s8c] you know I’m bullish on Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay "Compensation" and the sacred law of reciprocity. Emerson wrote about the duality of life — how for everything you've missed, you've gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something. He was basically saying: We don't have to wait until heaven to experience goodness. We have gifts right here — a child's laugh, a good drink with friends, reading poetry. But we also know that when good things happen, challenging things happen too. And when bad things happen, we inevitably receive something good in return. Emerson reminds us there’s “no such thing as a free lunch!” except way more poetically and infinitely less depressing than late-stage capitalism usually makes everything sound. The scales are always balancing. It might not be immediate or one-for-one (one failure doesn't guarantee one immediate success), but sometimes you're collecting failures like Pokémon cards, building up this apparently useless collection of embarrassments and disappointments, and then BAM — suddenly you get hit with a massive wave of wins that makes you feel like you accidentally stumbled into someone else's much more successful life and forgot to give it back. This makes going through failures SO much more manageable because you know: Nothing lasts forever. The good stuff doesn't last forever, and the bad stuff doesn't last forever. Are You Really Open to Receiving? If we accept RWE’s perspective, it opens up an uncomfy line of questioning: If we're not putting ourselves in the position to fail, we're probably not actually open to truly receiving. We’re likely just open to receiving exactly what we want, when we want it, in the precise packaging our anxiety-riddled, control-obsessed, disaster-anticipating brains have predetermined is "safe" and won't require us to grow or change or do anything that makes us uncomfortable. Think about it like this: You litcherally cannot expect to meet your soulmate while you're sitting on your couch in the same ratty sweatpants you've been wearing since the beginning of the pandemic, binge-watching reality TV shows about people with significantly more dramatic problems than yours, and hoping your person will just materialize at your front door like some kind of romantic Amazon Prime delivery. You have to actually put yourself in the position to meet them, which means leaving your apartment, possibly interacting with other humans. Same thing with opportunities, money, success — whatever you're saying you're "open to receiving." If you're truly open to receiving more money, are you: * Changing how you run your business? * Updating your offers? (or are they still the same ones you created three years ago when you thought "authentic" meant "charging $22 for everything because 😇angel numbers😇") * Genuinely shifting your relationship with money, or are you still having a full-body panic attack every time you check your bank account and immediately closing the app like that will make the numbers change? * Preparing for the natural consequences that come with receiving more? If you're open to receiving a TV opportunity, are you: * Willing to rearrange your life for filming? * Prepared for the attention you'll get? * Ready with systems for an influx of applications? * Clear on your messaging so the right people reach out? Being open to receiving means being open to ALL the natural consequences — the good, the challenging, the unexpected. Taking notes from the alchemists Ancient alchemists believed you couldn't transmute lead into gold unless you were pure of heart. You could have the correct formula, all the right equipment, the perfect laboratory setup, but if you were just trying to create gold because you wanted to be rich and buy a bigger house and flex on your enemies, it wouldn't work. The universe would basically be like "nice try, but your motivations are showing and they're not cute." You had to do your inner work — your shadow work, your journaling, your questioning about purpose and humanity. You needed reverence for the mystery. Only then could you create gold. This is why we can't just practice failure tolerance as some kind of spiritual shortcut to get more stuff. If we're grasping and controlling and trying to manipulate outcomes from our small, anxious, definitely-overthinking-everything human minds, it doesn't work as well as when we surrender to the mystery and trust that our future selves — the ones who've done more therapy and read more books and had more awkward conversations — know better than our current selves who are probably just trying to avoid discomfort. Time for some check-in questions Some questions to sit with: Where have you been trying to control outcomes in your life, and for what reason? Are you truly putting yourself out there to receive, or are you only open to receiving certain things in a specific order? What would happen if you put yourself in the position to receive—including receiving some "nos"? (Remember: receiving isn't all positive. If we're going to receive amazing gifts, we're also going to receive some losses, some disappointments, some plot twists that require us to completely recalibrate our expectations. That's the law of compensation, baby.) Signs You're Ready to Test Your Failure Tolerance: * You feel healthy and stable (like you have room to play) * Things feel stagnant or stuck * You want to have more fun * You're lacking challenge in your life * You're wanting bigger opportunities to come through * What you've been asking for hasn't materialized yet Your Challenge This Week Test your failure tolerance! It doesn't have to be as cosmetically dramatic as bleaching your eyebrows (though honestly, I think you could pull it off better than I did, and that's not even a particularly high bar). Maybe it's: * Asking for something you've been avoiding asking for because you're convinced they'll say no * Trying a new look or approach that feels slightly outside your comfort zone * Putting yourself in a position where you might get rejected in a low-stakes way * Sharing something you've been keeping private because you're worried about what people will think * Applying for something you're not sure you're qualified for * Having a conversation you've been putting off Remember: When you're consistently flexing your failure tolerance muscle, you stop thinking of these experiences as "failures." They become experiments that give you information. You become more elastic to the experience — it doesn't ruin your day or stop you in your tracks. The goal isn't to avoid failure; it's to become so comfortable with the discomfort of potential failure that you can move through the world with more freedom and magnetism. Want the ritual practice for transmuting failure into alchemical gold? It's available for Twelfth House Plus subscribers (you can get a 7-day free trial to check it out). The ritual is inspired by Emerson's essay on compensation and is honestly magical. Also: The North Node, our private members community, opens at the end of June! We only open doors twice a year because we're not trying to be everything to everyone, and it's five years of this incredible jewel box of education, resources, and community for intuitive entrepreneurs and creative people who are tired of business advice that makes them feel like they need to become someone else to be successful. Liked this?You’ll love Holisticism [http://holisticism.com/] and our podcast The Twelfth House.Want to learn more about intuitive business and creator-ship?Sign up for the North Node waitlist here [https://michelle-509f.mykajabi.com/north-node-2024].Into my persnickety personality and strategic perspective?Inquire about 1:1 advising with me here [https://www.notion.so/12fa2ea10eb780878280ef2acf269be2?pvs=21]. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thetwelfthhouse.substack.com/subscribe [https://thetwelfthhouse.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thetwelfthhouse.substack.com [https://thetwelfthhouse.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] 📚 Resources and Links: * 📩 Connect with host ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michelle Pellizzon-Lipsitz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/michellepellizzonlipsitz/?hl=en]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠team Holisticism⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/holisticism/?hl=en] * Sign up for the North Node waitlist here [https://michelle-509f.mykajabi.com/north-node-2024] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ * Inquire about 1:1 work with Michelle here [https://www.notion.so/12fa2ea10eb780878280ef2acf269be2?pvs=21] * Holisticism Resources 4 u: * Ruthless Clarity [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/ruthless] — an 8-week email course designed to help you achieve crystal-clear certainty about your goals, desires, and energy allocation * How to Begin: A Project Planning Class [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/howtobegin] — a 90-m on-demand class that teaches you exactly how to sketch a effervescent project plan that'll fill you with glee and inspiration and instantly banish procrastination and overwhelm, so your brilliant ideas can finally come to life. * The Subconscious Audit [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/subconsciousaudit] — an 11-day diagnostic framework that helps you identify what's holding you back and making you *feel* blocked. Because you're never actually blocked * The New Age Playbook for Spellbinding, Can’t-Stop-Reading Copy [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/newage-playbook] — a 35-page downloadable workbook to take your writing from blah to bingeable This week we're diving deep into failure tolerance and going beyond the basic entrepreneurial "learn to handle rejection in sales!" version (though yes yes yes, obviously, send the scary email, make the ask, stop passive-aggressively hoping someone will discover your genius on Instagram). We're talking about practicing increasing failure tolerance from a more creative, esoteric perspective. And why-oh-why would we want to do that? Well, increasing your failure tolerance is a type of nervous system practice [https://open.substack.com/pub/thetwelfthhouse/p/tuning-your-nervous-system-increasing?r=e0s8c&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false]. It's not about becoming fearless or turning into some kind of risk-taking maniac. It's about expanding your capacity to hold discomfort, which literally makes you stickier to the things you want. When you can handle the sensation of uncertainty, rejection, looking foolish, or being misunderstood, you stop unconsciously sabotaging yourself. You stop repelling opportunities because you're afraid of what might happen if you actually get what you want. Because here's the thing: If you say you want to have $100k in your bank account, but your nervous system can't handle seeing $10k in your portfolio without completely freaking out, guess what you're going to unconsciously do everything in your power to avoid? Exactly. This is somatic work disguised as creative practice. Every time you stretch your tolerance for the uncomfortable, you're teaching your nervous system that these sensations aren't actually life-threatening. That you can survive looking stupid. That failure isn't death — it's just information, it's just a turn, it's just another step in the ongoing experiment of being human. With that, I wanted to give you some practical ways to flex your failure tolerance in ways that extend beyond traditional business. So, let’s get to it!

📚 Resources and Links: * 📩 Connect with host ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michelle Pellizzon-Lipsitz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/michellepellizzonlipsitz/?hl=en]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠team Holisticism⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/holisticism/?hl=en] * Sign up for the North Node waitlist here [https://michelle-509f.mykajabi.com/north-node-2024] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ * Inquire about 1:1 work with Michelle here [https://www.notion.so/12fa2ea10eb780878280ef2acf269be2?pvs=21] * Holisticism Resources 4 u: * Ruthless Clarity [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/ruthless] — an 8-week email course designed to help you achieve crystal-clear certainty about your goals, desires, and energy allocation * How to Begin: A Project Planning Class [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/howtobegin] — a 90-m on-demand class that teaches you exactly how to sketch a effervescent project plan that'll fill you with glee and inspiration and instantly banish procrastination and overwhelm, so your brilliant ideas can finally come to life. * The Subconscious Audit [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/subconsciousaudit] — an 11-day diagnostic framework that helps you identify what's holding you back and making you *feel* blocked. Because you're never actually blocked * The New Age Playbook for Spellbinding, Can’t-Stop-Reading Copy [https://holisticism.myflodesk.com/newage-playbook] — a 35-page downloadable workbook to take your writing from blah to bingeable In this episode of The Twelfth House, I'm diving into the somatic elements of failure tolerance — what it is, why it matters, and how increasing your capacity to withstand discomfort can make you wildly more magnetic. (You can read about the whole failure tolerance series here [https://open.substack.com/pub/thetwelfthhouse/p/failure-tolerance-as-a-magnetic-practice?r=e0s8c&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false]) When we're confronted with potential failure or rejection, most of us go into full-on panic mode. Our bodies literally think we're about to D-I-E. This leads to failure aversion, which might be keeping you stuck in a life that feels... fine, but not particularly exciting. What is failure tolerance? Failure tolerance [https://open.substack.com/pub/thetwelfthhouse/p/failure-tolerance-vs-failure-aversion?r=e0s8c&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false] is simply the capacity to withstand and recover from perceived rejection or failure. It's not about eliminating fear (which honestly feels impossible for my scaredy-cat self) — it's about sitting with the discomfort of "this might not work" and surviving it. When we look at failure tolerance, we can identify three different states that you might find yourself in: * The Bravery Myth State: When you think failure tolerance means faking courage until you feel it. This approach might work for some people, but for many of us (hi!), it creates even MORE anxiety and nervous system dysregulation. * The Hyper-Safety State: When you've designed your entire life around avoiding failure. You stick to familiar routines, places, people, and work. Everything is safe, streamlined, and... a little bit boring. It’s also easy to fall into this relationship with failure tolerance when you’ve been designing for stability in your life. * The Magnetic State: When you can acknowledge your fears while expanding your capacity to withstand discomfort. You don't need to be brave — you just need to be able to survive the feeling of potential failure. Signs your failure tolerance needs attention: * You feel "fine" but not excited about your life or business * You find yourself feeling mysteriously “stuck” or “blocked” — you know I don’t believe you’re ever blocked, but you know what I’m saying — even though things seem to be running perfectly well in your life otherwise * Your offerings haven't changed in ages because "they work" (but do they really work?) * You find yourself ordering the same food, going to the same places, hanging with the same people, in excess * You dismiss ideas as "impossible" before even exploring them * You catch yourself thinking "I can't ask for that" more than "I wonder if I could get that" The nervous system of it all When we face potential failure, our nervous system kicks into sympathetic mode (fight/flight/freeze). In this state: * Your attention narrows (literally — your vision constricts) * Your body gets rigid * Your cortisol and adrenaline spike * Your creativity, adaptability, and fine motor learning shut down completely. Boo! Hiss! But in parasympathetic mode: * Your prefrontal cortex activates, boosting learning and planning * Your movements become more fluid and flexible * Your brain forms new connections more easily * Your creativity and intuition flow See the problem? When we're failure-averse, we're physiologically cutting ourselves off from the very creativity we need to evolve. It's like trying to brainstorm innovative ideas while a tiger is chasing you. NOT HAPPENING. The Fettuccine Alfredo Test Here's my absurdly specific but clarifying example. You're at Ruby's Diner. What you really want is fettuccine Alfredo with peas. If you're failure-averse, your thought process is: "They don't have that here. I guess I'll order something I don't really want." If you're failure-tolerant, you might: * Ask if they can make it anyway? * Suggest going to a different restaurant? * See if you can order it for delivery while everyone else eats Ruby's? * Propose meeting at home later with everyone's preferred food? The failure-averse person never considers these options because they've decided only the menu in front of them exists. (This extends WAY beyond pasta, promise.) Practical ways to increase your failure tolerance: * Move sloooooowly. When you feel that fear response kicking in, pause. Notice the physical sensations. "My shoulders are up to my ears. My stomach is dropping. My toes are clenched." * Name your thoughts. "I'm having the thought that I'll be rejected." Not "I'll be rejected," but "I'm having the thought that I'll be rejected." This creates a tiny but crucial space between you and the fear. * Stay with the discomfort a bit longer. Your body believes you'll die if this feeling continues. By staying with it for 30 seconds, a minute, two minutes, you're showing your nervous system: "See? Still alive." * Expand your awareness. Release your shoulders and jaw. Take a breath. Let your peripheral vision open up. This signals to your body that you're not in immediate danger. Remember: Your failure tolerance will fluctuate. It's not a linear progression from "scaredy cat" to "fearless warrior." (Thank god, because I'd fail that test immediately.) Some days you'll feel braver than others based on your overall sense of safety, health, and what else is happening in your life. The most fascinating paradox? Many of us are most failure-tolerant when we hit an energetic void, because we literally have less to lose. As we become more successful, we often become MORE failure-averse. We have more to protect. More to lose. The stakes feel higher. The magnetism superpower When you increase your failure tolerance, you energy becomes contagious and uber attractive. Not because you're fearless, but because you're willing to exist alongside your fear without being totally controlled by it. People who are highly failure-tolerant have that quality where everyone turns when they enter a room. Not because they're loud or conventionally charismatic, but because there's a gravitational pull to their energy. They're so purely themselves that you can't help but be drawn in. Think about it: what's more magnetic than someone who can handle hearing "no" without crumbling? Who can ask for what they really want? Who can explore possibilities that others dismiss as impossible? Your homework (if you choose to accept it): * Notice one place where you're being failure-averse today * Practice the "slow down" technique when you feel that fear rising * Ask for ONE thing you've been avoiding asking for (start small!) * Track your physical responses to potential rejection And if you want to dive deeper into failure tolerance, join us in The North Node [https://michelle-509f.mykajabi.com/north-node-2024], our private membership community, where we've been running the Failure Tolerance Challenge for four years with WILD results. Members have launched businesses, created products, written books, gone on life-changing dates — all by increasing their capacity to withstand the discomfort of potential failure. Want more? Check out our paid subscriber episode where KP and I share our "found objects" for failure tolerance — all the inspirations that sparked this series. We even talk about our own failure tolerance journeys and how we've personally used these techniques. Oh, and tell me in the comments: What's your relationship with failure tolerance? On a scale from 1 to 10 — 1 being most failure averse, 10 being most failure tolerant — where do you land? Liked this?You’ll love Holisticism [http://holisticism.com/] and our podcast The Twelfth House.Want to learn more about intuitive business and creator-ship?Sign up for the North Node waitlist here [https://michelle-509f.mykajabi.com/north-node-2024].Into my persnickety personality and strategic perspective?Inquire about 1:1 advising with me here [https://www.notion.so/12fa2ea10eb780878280ef2acf269be2?pvs=21]. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thetwelfthhouse.substack.com/subscribe [https://thetwelfthhouse.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]