The First Step to Confidence (Real Work My Coaching Clients Do)

Quit the Negative Self-Talk ASAP: The Science Behind How Your Words Create Your Reality

Text Jule :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] Despite all the negative self-talk running in my head, for years I figured the whole “watch your words” thing was a load of bullsh*t.    Then about three years ago I came across research showing that emotions have a recipe, and it was a total light bulb moment for me.    So in this episode I’m breaking down the actual science of how the words you use shape what you feel, and how learning to control your emotions starts with paying attention to how you describe what’s happening to you. I’ll keep the mechanics simple, I promise.    In this episode: * The saying I dismissed as a kid and why I finally bought into it three years ago  * The story of my photo getting stolen and how one sentence flipped me from mildly annoyed to full-blown rage  * Dr. Kristen Lindquist’s research showing that emotions have a recipe  * My potter’s wheel analogy  * Why it’s so important to use the right labels for what you’re thinking and feeling * The negative phrases I used to say to myself constantly and how I broke the habit  * A simple exercise for picking one phrase to swap out, and the friends-and-family trick for figuring out which one   If you tend to spiral when something hard happens and you can’t seem to talk yourself back out of it, this one’s for you. Related episode on how to change your thoughts: I was Toxic. Here's What Changed My Negative Mindset [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/episodes/18623016] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

The First Step to Confidence (Real Work My Coaching Clients Do)

Text Jule :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] How to build real confidence is one of the most common goals people come to me for, and the truth is that it starts with self-trust, not with the affirmation cards and power poses you find on Google. The real work is excavating your past to find a belief you keep carrying that isn’t true. I share the story of how my dad spent my childhood telling me my voice was annoying, and how that one belief got so loud in my head that I ignored dozens of podcast invitations for years because I was too ashamed to be heard. I walk you through the day when it finally shifted for me, and the small first action that took me from never appearing on podcasts to guesting on over 50 shows. Topics covered in this episode: * Why affirmations, power poses, and feel-good quotes are not the actual work of building confidence * How growing up emotionally repressed shaped the way I handled, or really didn’t handle, my own mental health * Why we believe the things our parents tell us about ourselves, even when those things aren’t true * The real first step to confidence, and it’s not what most of the personal development space sells you * How shame thrives in the dark and why saying it out loud is one of the best ways to dispel it * The exact message I’d send to make amends for something I avoided for years * How to pick a first action that’s big or small enough for wherever you actually are right now * Why taking that one step becomes the proof you need to take the next one If your self-esteem has been spiraling and you just want one place to start, this one’s for you. If you liked this episode, also check out episode 2: How to Build Confidence that Actually Lasts [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/episodes/18107869] from Oct 30, 2025. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

The One Question That Stops Self-Sabotage

Text Jule :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] Okay, so this is me pulling back the curtain on the public speaking anxiety and self-doubt that almost made me say no to the biggest talk of my career. I'm taking you through the whole mental spiral, the panic before I walked on stage, and the sneaky way my own brain turned on me when I started caring too much what everyone would think. If you've ever had a big opportunity land in your lap and felt yourself wanting to shrink back or turn it down, you'll see a lot of yourself in this. I get honest about what was really going on in my head, and the tiny decision at midnight that I almost didn't make. In this episode: * What it actually felt like to prep for a 360-degree stage in another country with people watching from every angle * The moment stage fright turned into a full panic attack right before I walked on * The advice two seasoned coaches gave me that I decided to ignore * The question that quietly hijacked my head and changed how I saw the whole thing * What it feels like to worry that you're a fraud, and what I did with that fear * How to tell your own voice apart from the fear of what other people think * What I do when I don't trust myself right before something big and scary * What I keep reminding myself about discomfort and the comfort zone when I want to quit * The midnight moment that almost didn't happen, and why I'm so glad it did If you've ever turned down something you really wanted because you were scared of what people might think, this one's for you. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Why Accepting Compliments Feels Like a Trap

Text Jule :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] If you can’t accept a compliment without downplaying it, deflecting it, or chalking the whole thing up to luck, this episode is for you. I sometimes do the same thing, and for a long time I had no idea why owning my own accomplishments felt safer to dodge than to just sit in. I trace it all the way back to a report card and what  my dad said when he finally looked at it. This episode shows why accepting compliments can feel like a trap, where that programming actually comes from, and how I’ve slowly learned to take the recognition in instead of shoving it away. I’ll walk you through the project I couldn’t pin on luck, and the simple thing I started doing that’s changing how I see myself. Topics covered in this episode: * The Mean Girls scene that explains why saying “yes, thank you” can feel like a setup * The report card moment that taught me I wasn’t allowed to be proud of myself * Why being good at something can feel physically dangerous long after you’ve left home * How this showed up in my corporate career and in how I priced my own business * The one client project I couldn’t write off as beginner’s luck * One simple habit I started that’s helping me actually believe I’m good at what I do * How to figure out your “special sauce,” which is usually the thing you keep brushing off If you’ve got that one friend who rejects compliments like they’re allergic, this one’s for them too.   Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

How to Stay Calm When Everything Goes Wrong

Text Jule :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] Here's how I stopped overreacting when life falls apart, and why learning to stay calm under stress isn't a personality trait you're either born with or not.  I just spent three days trying to get home from Europe, and watching everyone melt down taught me a lot about how to stay calm when things go wrong. Flights got canceled, a plane got diverted, I caught food poisoning, and the whole time people were screaming at the staff. I used to be one of these people yelling at everyone, and somewhere this changed. If you know your reactions could be better, or you're walking on eggshells around someone who's always about to blow up, this one's for you. Topics in this episode: * How a brand new woman at the airport went from listening to the angry guy to sorting out her own flight  * The metaphor I gave a client about what to do when it feels like it's raining shit on you  * The $600 assessment that showed me my own victim energy and anger energy on paper in 2021  * Why most people land in either victim energy or anger when things go wrong, and why anger feels like the better option  * The one moment in three days of travel chaos that actually got me angry, and what set me off  * Why you change how you feel by changing how you react, not the other way around  * How to give your emotions enough room without wallowing in them  Mentioned at the end: David Hawkins Map of Consciousness [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KGBLuFdas8] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.