Gird Your Loins, Anderson Cooper & Suspicious Corn

GRADUATION DAY! The episode where I accidentally used the title last week for the wrong episode....

Welp...this is why.  If you liked the title last week, you'll LOVE this week's episode!  To recap....aliens, weedeaters, cannibalism, Nancy Grace...need we say more? CONGRATULATIONS EMMA AND CLASS OF 2026!!

Grandma Hobbies, Quilt Envy and Grad Prep Anxiety!

This week we start with a hat, somehow detour through quilts, graduation chaos, dirty soda bars, widow guilt, PTSD triggers, and TikTok judgment — then get interrupted by a man attacking the hedges. Honestly, very on brand.

Gird Your Loins, Anderson Cooper & Suspicious Corn

Happy Friday, and welcome back to This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast. This episode starts with an alleged wife-for-boat trade involving frozen catfish and somehow spirals into chef-related crime stories, UFOs, AI interview scams, Great Value corn warnings, Taco Bell chaos, Criminal Minds connections, how to gird your loins, and why Anderson Cooper may or may not be an alien.

Monday Mayhem: Ghosts, Gumption & TE-QUILA!

We’re back after a rough week, and this episode comes in hot with emotional whiplash, Monday morning tequila, widowhood honesty, dating disappointments, and a full breakdown of why adults need more gumption. Ashton opens up about loneliness, vulnerability, and missing the kind of companionship she had with Jake, while Jen brings the chaos with quilting updates, UK podcast dreams, Scotland plans, and a wild influencer murder story from across the pond. It’s messy, heartfelt, funny, and exactly why we can’t have a podcast.

Lottery Tickets, Lost Billions & It's Just Another Manic Monday here...

This week, we’re talking secret-service connections, AI business makeovers, $41 million lottery dreams, what we’d buy if we won, and the old-money families who somehow lost billions. From the Vanderbilts and Astors to George Bush, streaming subscriptions, and our usual accidental spiral into death… this is exactly why we can’t have a podcast.