Episode 7: Sh*t VCs Say.

Episode 10: How to Lose Friends and Millions

Ever thought lending a little money to friends, buying a flashy house, or investing in your buddy’s “next unicorn” was harmless? Congrats, you’ve just met the graveyard of wealth that eats entrepreneurs alive. In Episode 10 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed bare it all on the biggest money mistakes they made after coming into wealth for the first time. From toxic founder empathy to rapper-level spending sprees, this one’s a masterclass in what NOT to do when you hit a financial windfall. In this episode, you’ll learn: ✅ Why lending money to friends almost always kills the friendship ✅ How “toxic empathy” with founders leads to subsidizing bad businesses ✅ The hidden cost of flexing: mortgages, taxes, and regret ✅ How taxes (and bad advisors) quietly rob millions from unsuspecting founders Hot Takes: ✅ “When you win the lottery, stop buying more lottery tickets.” ✅ “Never take advice from people who haven’t been where you want to go.” Listen to this one before you Venmo your buddy, sign that 30-year mortgage, or spray angel checks like champagne at a nightclub. Tune in. Wake up. Protect your wealth before it vanishes. Contact UnicornPrn * Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com [https://UnicornPrn.com] - hit subscribe like it owes you money About our hosts * Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar [https://ewebinar.com], and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. * Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author [https://lloyedlobo.com], Cofounder of Boast.AI [https://boast.ai] and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet. * LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan [https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissakwan/] and Lloyed Lobo [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lloyedlobo/] * Instagram: @themelissakwan [https://www.instagram.com/themelissakwan/] and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/lloyedlobo/] * YouTube: @themlissakwan [https://www.youtube.com/@themelissakwan] and @StartupTraction [https://www.youtube.com/@StartupTraction] * Subscribe to 'your founder next door [https://www.melissakwan.com/]' at melissakwan.com [https://melissakwan.com], Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places. ...

Episode 9: Top 12 BS Advice You Must Ignore

Ever been told “just pick the biggest TAM,” “hire a seasoned exec,” or “run ads for growth”? Congrats, you’ve been hit with some of the worst startup advice ever spewed on a LinkedIn carousel, usually by someone who’s never built anything but a Notion doc. In Episode 9 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed go full flamethrower on the Top 12 BS startup tropes that sound smart… but cost you time, money, and probably your sanity. From armchair analysts advisors to startup cosplay founders who’ve never shipped anything real, this episode’s for anyone who’s tired of pretending recycled TED Talk advice is gospel. In this episode, you’ll learn: ✅ The myth of “big TAM = big business”  ✅ The danger of hiring for pedigree over trajectory ✅ Why contractors > entitled employees in today’s startup world ✅ How “track everything” becomes an excuse to do nothing ✅ The fastest way to kill culture Hot Takes: ✅ “Do not take advice from people who haven’t been where you want to go.” ✅ “There are very few things in life you can’t recover from. Just pick the decision that helps you get out of bed in the morning.” Listen to this one before you hand over your startup to a VC’s favorite ‘operator,’ build a cult of dashboards, or burn cash to please an imaginary persona. Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart. Contact UnicornPrn * Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com [https://UnicornPrn.com] - hit subscribe like it owes you money About our hosts * Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar [https://ewebinar.com], and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. * Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author [https://lloyedlobo.com], Cofounder of Boast.AI [https://boast.ai] and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet. * LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan [https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissakwan/] and Lloyed Lobo [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lloyedlobo/] * Instagram: @themelissakwan [https://www.instagram.com/themelissakwan/] and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/lloyedlobo/] * YouTube: @themlissakwan [https://www.youtube.com/@themelissakwan] and @StartupTraction [https://www.youtube.com/@StartupTraction] * Subscribe to 'your founder next door [https://www.melissakwan.com/]' at melissakwan.com [https://melissakwan.com], Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places. ...

Episode 8: Blue Ocean Will Drown You

Ever heard the advice “find a market with no competition”? Then you’ve definitely walked straight into a blue ocean, only to realize it’s full of sharks, no buyers, and zero budget line items. “I’m the first, so the whole world is my customer.” “If no one’s doing it, that must mean it’s a great idea.” “I’ll be the industry leader because I got there first.” … and then you bleed out on the ocean floor while explaining what your product even does to confused prospects. In Episode 8 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed debunk the blue ocean myth, sharing lessons paid for in blood and burnout from building in zero-competition markets, so you don’t have to. In this episode, you’ll learn: ✅ Why “no competition” is actually a red flag, not a flex ✅ How blue ocean startups die from long sales cycles and buyer confusion ✅ Why the hardest thing to sell is something nobody understands yet ✅ The secret to second-mover advantage (hint: don’t try to be the innovator, be the optimizer) ✅ How to flip into a purple ocean and make money from day one Hot Takes: ✅ “Founders confuse novelty with value. Just because it hasn’t been done doesn’t mean it should.” ✅ “People don’t want to be first. Especially in B2B. They want proof, not your vision board.” So before you waste years educating a market that doesn’t give a damn, listen to this episode and skip the uphill battles, ghosted demos, and ramen-fueled regret. Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart. Contact UnicornPrn * Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com [https://UnicornPrn.com] - hit subscribe like it owes you money About our hosts * Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar [https://ewebinar.com], and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. * Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author [https://lloyedlobo.com], Cofounder of Boast.AI [https://boast.ai] and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet. * LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan [https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissakwan/] and Lloyed Lobo [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lloyedlobo/] * Instagram: @themelissakwan [https://www.instagram.com/themelissakwan/] and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/lloyedlobo/] * YouTube: @themlissakwan [https://www.youtube.com/@themelissakwan] and @StartupTraction [https://www.youtube.com/@StartupTraction] * Subscribe to 'your founder next door [https://www.melissakwan.com/]' at melissakwan.com [https://melissakwan.com], Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places. ...

Episode 7: Sh*t VCs Say.

Ever raise venture capital? Then you’ve definitely heard some version of: “It’s a bit too early for us.” “What if Google builds this?” “Ping me when you have a lead.” In Episode 7 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed crack open the cliché-filled, gaslight-ridden world of fundraising conversations. They expose the truth behind fake praise, soft NOs, and the cult of “value-add” investors. In this episode, you’ll learn: ✅ How to decode the top 10 most common VC phrases  ✅ Why “Let us know how we can help” is investor ghosting in disguise ✅ When “you’re not thinking big enough” actually means we don’t get it ✅ How to navigate value-add promises that vanish post-wire Hot Takes: ✅ “Founders get confused when someone’s interested, but they’re not actually making a move. Interest ≠ intent.” ✅ “Most VCs only give you confidence after someone else has given you conviction.” So grab your Series A dreams and your Series Z patience, because this episode is your official VC-to-English dictionary. Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart. Contact UnicornPrn * Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com [https://UnicornPrn.com] - hit subscribe like it owes you money About our hosts * Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar [https://ewebinar.com], and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. * Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author [https://lloyedlobo.com], Cofounder of Boast.AI [https://boast.ai] and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet. * LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan [https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissakwan/] and Lloyed Lobo [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lloyedlobo/] * Instagram: @themelissakwan [https://www.instagram.com/themelissakwan/] and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/lloyedlobo/] * YouTube: @themlissakwan [https://www.youtube.com/@themelissakwan] and @StartupTraction [https://www.youtube.com/@StartupTraction] * Subscribe to 'your founder next door [https://www.melissakwan.com/]' at melissakwan.com [https://melissakwan.com], Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places. ...

Episode 6: Culture Fit is BS

Is “culture fit” the secret sauce of team cohesion… or just startup speak for hiring people who look, think, and act exactly like you? In Episode 6 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed torch the startup world’s favorite excuse for bias, groupthink, and hiring your drinking buddies. They unpack how “culture fit” became a Trojan horse for toxic execs, lazy recruiting, and leadership that folds like a lawn chair under pressure. In this episode, you’ll learn: ✅ Why “culture fit” is often just code for bias ✅ How the “beer test” broke your hiring ✅ Startup horror stories of culture gone wrong ✅ How to hire for culture add, not fit ✅ A playbook for building an intentional culture at scale Hot Takes: ✅ “What’s good for the leader should be good for everyone. Lead by example, no favoritism, one rule for all.” ✅ “Culture is not what you write on the wall, it’s how people behave when the leaders aren’t in the room.”  So grab your kombucha, cancel your ping-pong table budget, and maybe double-check that Slack gossip channel… because this episode goes full HR-horror story mode. Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart. Contact UnicornPrn * Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com [https://UnicornPrn.com] - hit subscribe like it owes you money About our hosts * Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar [https://ewebinar.com], and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital. * Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author [https://lloyedlobo.com], Cofounder of Boast.AI [https://boast.ai] and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet. * LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan [https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissakwan/] and Lloyed Lobo [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lloyedlobo/] * Instagram: @themelissakwan [https://www.instagram.com/themelissakwan/] and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/lloyedlobo/] * YouTube: @themlissakwan [https://www.youtube.com/@themelissakwan] and @StartupTraction [https://www.youtube.com/@StartupTraction] * Subscribe to 'your founder next door [https://www.melissakwan.com/]' at melissakwan.com [https://melissakwan.com], Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places. ...