168: The Beliefs Quietly Running Your Life

174: Your Job Is to Lead, Not to Be Liked

Why do so many leaders sacrifice respect in pursuit of approval? Meet Leo. During a meeting with other regional leaders, the conversation turns toward his team's performance. Missed deadlines. Poor follow-through. Lack of accountability. As Leo listens, he realizes the concern isn't just about his team. It's about him. He's well-liked, but other leaders are beginning to question whether he'll enforce standards when it matters most. Leo wants to lead with compassion, but he also wants to be respected, trusted, and taken seriously. Today, Jay sits down with Jason O. Harris, retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, combat pilot, keynote speaker, and creator of the No Fail Trust® Framework. Drawing from decades of military leadership experience, Jason shares practical strategies for building trust, creating accountability, and leading teams without sacrificing humanity. Notable Quotes “Your goal and objective is not to be liked. Your goal and objective is to lead.” — Jason O. Harris “Connection leads to commitment. Commitment leads to accountability. Accountability leads to trust.” — Jason O. Harris “Be the most interested person in the room, not the most interesting person in the room.” — Jason O. Harris About Our Guest Jason O. Harris is a retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, combat pilot, keynote speaker, and leadership expert. Through his No Fail Trust® Framework, he helps organizations build stronger cultures of trust, accountability, and execution. His work focuses on helping leaders create high-performing teams through intentional communication, meaningful connection, and proven leadership principles. Resources & Links Jason O. Harris Website – https://jasonoharris.com/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jasonoharris/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jasonoharris/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/jasonoharrisspeaks YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@JasonOHarris TikTok – https://www.tiktok.com/@jasonoharris1 Jay Abbasi Website – https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story [https://yb57saub5n2.typeform.com/to/gTvni0Ta] Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay shares a practical framework for holding people accountable without becoming harsh, controlling, or authoritarian. Through real-life examples and actionable strategies, you'll learn how to build trust, set clear expectations, and create accountability while maintaining strong relationships. If you've ever struggled to balance empathy with leadership, this episode is for you.

173: You Don’t Need More Discipline

The problem isn’t your willpower. The problem is your system. In this solo episode, Jay challenges one of the most common beliefs in personal development: that success comes from being more disciplined. Drawing from personal stories about rebuilding routines, growing a business, and strengthening relationships, he explains why relying on willpower often leads to frustration and self-criticism. Instead, Jay makes the case that consistency is not a motivation problem but a systems problem. Through practical examples and actionable strategies, he demonstrates how creating the right structures can make positive habits easier to maintain and help you achieve meaningful results without constantly fighting yourself. If you've ever wondered why you struggle to follow through, this episode offers a refreshing and practical perspective. Notable Quotes “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” — James Clear “Your brain is not wired for that.” — Jay Abbasi “It was the systems that needed help, not my willpower.” — Jay Abbasi “You don’t need to rely on your willpower. The system is there.” — Jay Abbasi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story [https://yb57saub5n2.typeform.com/to/gTvni0Ta] Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Leo, a leader whose team is underperforming and facing growing pressure from other departments. Jay is joined by Jason O. Harris, retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, combat pilot, and keynote speaker, to explore how leaders can create accountability, build trust, and improve performance without sacrificing the human side of leadership.

172: The Warrior Mindset for Everyday People

What happens when pressure slowly turns you into someone you no longer recognize? Meet Dino. He’s a treasury manager leading a team through layoffs, pressure, and nonstop demands. At work, everyone is overwhelmed. At home, he feels disconnected from the family he loves most. The habits that once kept him grounded, exercise, journaling, meditation, have disappeared, replaced by exhaustion, stress eating, and nightly escapes. What he wants most is the strength to lead without falling apart himself. In this episode, Jay sits down with Mark Divine, retired Navy SEAL commander, bestselling author, and founder of SEALFIT and Unbeatable Mind. Together, they explore how everyday people can develop resilience, discipline, and mental toughness without needing to become Navy SEALs. Notable Quotes “If you’re not training your body and mind, the world is training it for you.” — Mark Divine “You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Crawl, walk, run.” — Mark Divine “The breath is the bridge between the body, the mind, and the spirit.” — Mark Divine About Our Guest Mark Divine is a retired Navy SEAL commander, bestselling author, leadership expert, and founder of SEALFIT and Unbeatable Mind. Drawing from decades of military leadership, martial arts, Zen training, and mindfulness practices, Mark helps individuals and organizations develop resilience, focus, emotional control, and mental toughness in high-pressure environments. Resources & Links Mark Divine SEALFIT Website – https://sealfit.com/ Website – https://markdivine.com/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/markdivine/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/markdivineofficial Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/markdivineofficial YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@markdivineofficial Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.com/mamiekstewart/ X – https://x.com/MarkDivine Jay Abbasi Website – https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story [https://yb57saub5n2.typeform.com/to/gTvni0Ta] Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay takes a deep dive into the systems and routines that helped him become more consistent over time. If you’ve ever struggled to stick with habits, follow through on goals, or maintain momentum, this episode will walk you through the practical mindset shifts and systems that made the biggest difference in his own life.

171: Your Phone Is Draining Your Brain

What if your phone is exhausting your brain without you realizing it? In this solo episode, Jay explores eye-opening research on how smartphones impact attention, cognitive performance, and presence, even when they are not being used. Drawing from a study out of the University of Chicago, he explains how simply having your phone visible can drain mental resources and reduce your ability to focus fully on what matters most. Jay breaks down the neuroscience behind attention and distraction, why our brains are wired to respond to phones the way they do, and how this constant pull impacts relationships, meetings, and overall well-being. He also introduces a simple but powerful strategy called “trial separation” to help you reclaim focus, improve presence, and free up cognitive energy for the people and priorities that matter most. Notable Quotes “Your phone doesn’t even need to be on to negatively impact your cognitive ability.” — Jay Abbasi “Your brain is literally wired to treat your phone buzzing the same way it treats someone calling your name across the room.” — Jay Abbasi “When your phone is visible, you don’t have access to your full cognitive capacity.” — Jay Abbasi “Free up your cognitive ability for the things that matter.” — Jay Abbasi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story [https://yb57saub5n2.typeform.com/to/gTvni0Ta] Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Dino, a treasury manager overwhelmed by pressure, stress, and unhealthy coping habits as he struggles to lead effectively while neglecting his own well-being. Jay is joined by Mark Divine, retired Navy SEAL commander, bestselling author, and founder of SEALFIT, to explore how leaders can rebuild mentally, physically, and emotionally from the inside out.

170: Meetings Don’t Have to Suck

Why do so many meetings leave people feeling drained instead of productive? Meet Heather. It’s 8 p.m. and she’s still staring at her laptop. Her days are packed with back-to-back meetings, leaving no time to think, plan, or actually do the work. By the end of the day, she feels exhausted, behind, and disconnected from the life waiting for her outside the screen. In this episode, Jay sits down with Mamie Kanfer Stewart, founder of Modern Manager and author of Momentum. Together, they unpack why most meetings fail, how poor meeting culture quietly drains energy and productivity, and what leaders can do to reclaim time, attention, and focus. Notable Quotes “A conversation can grow to the size of its fishbowl.” — Mamie Kanfer Stewart “Running meetings is a skill.” — Mamie Kanfer Stewart “There’s almost always someone in the meeting wondering why they’re there.” — Mamie Kanfer Stewart “Meetings don’t have to be the bane of existence at work.” — Mamie Kanfer Stewart About Our Guest Mamie Kanfer Stewart is the founder of Modern Manager, host of The Modern Manager Podcast, and author of Momentum. She works with leaders and organizations to improve communication, collaboration, and meeting culture through practical systems that help teams work more effectively and intentionally. Resources & Links Mamie Kanfer Stewart Website – https://www.mamieks.com/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/mamiekanferstewart/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/mamie.kanfer.stewart/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@themodernmanager Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.com/mamiekstewart/ X – https://x.com/mamieks Jay Abbasi Website – https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story [https://yb57saub5n2.typeform.com/to/gTvni0Ta] Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay explores fascinating new research from the University of Chicago on cell phone use and cognitive performance. The findings reveal that distraction is not just affecting productivity when you’re actively using your phone, but even when the phone is simply nearby. If you’ve been struggling to focus, stay present, or feel mentally clear, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.