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About Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!
We Were Trapped! | Your Mom's House Ep. 843
SPONSORS: - Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. - New Customers Bet $5 Get $300 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #DKPartner - Plans start at $15/month at http://MintMobile.com/MOM. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/ymh This week on Your Mom’s House, Tim joins the show through the magic of the internet as the main mommies dive headfirst into Bad Thoughts production, introducing the boys to The Terminator movies, and some Arnold impressions. Things escalate quickly with a wild opening clip of a very public call out of something very private, followed by a call to action for any and all "throat goats". Tom and Christina also unpack the Trapped in the Caribbean chaos, which included a TMZ story hotel horror stories, steel drums, and a week of no YMH episode. They also deep dive into Mike Fedele’s extremely online lifestyle of boats, flexing, humping, and Gen-Z failures. Also in this episode Safety Larry’s situational-awareness book, threats from a nude man in shoes, pet safety clips, stranger danger, eye pokes, Mantak Chia energy, pot debates, hippie hatred, garbage-dump parenting, mafia waste management history, body-disposal hypotheticals, and kids talking trash. Buckle up, jeans, we're fuggen BACK! Your Mom’s House Ep. 843 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $300 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Token expires 2/1/26. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 1/25/26 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:32 - Showing The Boys Terminator 00:09:59 - Opening Clip: Digging In Yo Shit 00:17:18 - Clip: Calling All Throat Goats 00:20:42 - Stranded In Paradise 00:30:04 - Mike Fedele 00:37:22 - More Safety Tips With Larry 00:44:34 - Clip: Stranger Danger 00:45:38 - Clip: Grab Those Testicles 00:47:37 - Will Blunderfield + Mantak Chia 00:50:17 - Pot Discourse 00:55:18 - Field Trip At The Dump 01:04:13 - Clip: Trash Talking White Kid 01:06:43 - Closing Song - "Daddio's Patio (Feat. Cutter Tha Killer Klown) by Celador Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]
Joe DeRosa Is Vile & Horrendous | Your Mom's House Ep. 842
SPONSORS: - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. - New Customers Bet $5 Get $300 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #DKPartner - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/ymh This week, Christina P holds down the fort while Tom Segura is away, and she’s joined by comedian Joe DeRosa, who will soon be joining the YMH family with a podcast of his own entitled "Vile & Horrendous". He helps Christina along for for an absolutely off the rails episode packed with wild clips, hot takes, and some classic YMH energy. From an unexpectedly epic saxophone intro, to a disturbing church meltdown, to Christina’s meticulously curated TikTok insanity, this episode spirals fast, before finally landing on a brutally accurate breakdown of boring corporate fast food culture. The house they filmed Home Alone in is also in sale and looks like an insane place to live in! So strap in, stay black, keep those jeans high and tight. Your Mom’s House Ep. 842 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $300 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Token expires 2/1/26. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 1/25/26 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:50 - Facts Of Life Girls & Vintage Collectables 00:08:30 - Not About That Weed 00:14:45 - Opening Clip: Can't Make Friends 00:20:33 - Saxophone 00:26:36 - Clip: Crazy Church Man 00:37:35 - Joe DeRosa Is Vile & Horrendous 00:48:01 - Lipshitz Plug 00:49:36 - Christina's Curations 01:03:49 - Home Alone House & Boring Corporate Fast Food 01:09:40 - Closing Song -"Cool Girl Club" By Versace Kolache Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]
Jeans-Mas Vacation w/ Chevy Chase | Your Mom's House Ep. 841
SPONSORS: - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. - Go to https://quince.com/mom for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. - New Customers Bet $5 Get $200 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #DKPartner - Head to http://Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Hallelujah! Where’s the Tylenol? It’s a very YMH Christmas, and the studio is lit up like Clark Griswold’s house because comedy legend Chevy Chase stops by! Tom and Christina unwrap holiday trauma, German Christmas music meltdowns, Santa vs. Baby Jesúska, dangerous European elevators, and the evolution of internet weirdos. Then Chevy joins to talk SNL, Three Amigos, the making of Vacation, Forrest Gump almost being his role, improv secrets, wild celebrity encounters, and why Richard Pryor was untouchable. Grab your eggnog and your wolf coat—this one is a Christmas classic. Your Mom’s House Ep. 841 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit https://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit https://ccpg.org (CT), or visit https://mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $200 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Token expires 1/11/26. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: https://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 1/4/26 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:11 - Merry Jeans-mas! 00:06:57 - Opening Clip: Cure For A Bad Day 00:08:57 - Threads, Diddy Doc, & Day Of The Jackal 00:19:51 - Clip: Chinese Girlfriend Song 00:20:49 - Situational Awareness 00:26:05 - Chevy Chase 00:30:15 - Saturday Night Live & Studio Comedies 00:39:42 - Other Roles, Directors, & Dan Aykroyd 00:46:53 - Presidents 00:50:12 - Carlin, Pryor, & The Bomb Squad 00:56:31 - The Legacy Of Vacation 01:03:05 - Wrap Up 01:04:41 - Closing Song - "Bedspread Shit" by Unknown Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]
Our Jeans Are High & Tactical | Your Mom's House Ep. 840
SPONSORS: - Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse - Go to https://Helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide. - Use code YMH at https://monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. Check your six, mommy! In this absolutely unhinged episode of Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina suit up in tactical vests and announce a bold new YMH initiative: total-life preparedness. From flashlight stances to 10-second doorway scans, the leaders of the Mommy Militia learn how to navigate a world full of lurking threats, fire, danger, and of course… clowns. Shout out to Jason Fabus for the amazing sax intro (IG: @jasonfabus). Tom and Christina show off an impressive array of emergency gear (machetes, trauma shears, MRE pizza with 5,000 calories, brass knuckles, and a foldable murder-credit-card), before the two dive into more safety guy Larry Betz safety lessons, some prime examples of black romance, horny James Joyce letters, trench foot, some horrible or hilarious clips, some TikTok's, and then addressing the loss of a truly stacked inspiration. Stay safe. Stay ready. And never walk into a Chili’s without scanning the exits first. Your Mom’s House Ep. 840 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:12 - Farts & Safety 00:06:44 - Opening Clip: Restaurant Scan 00:16:40 - Clip: Safety Shaun 00:18:59 - More Safety Tips & The Perfect Neighbor 00:30:54 - Clip: Misgendered Meltdown 00:35:11 - Clip: Talk To The Butt 00:37:08 - James Joyce Love Letters 00:41:31 - Clip: Big Gay Clowns 00:43:59 - Madonna 00:47:03 - Clip: Headbutt Self Defense 00:48:46 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:54:15 - Clip: Isolation Year 00:57:41 - RIP Mary Magdalene 00:59:16 - Clip: Pastor's Cool Advice For Women 01:04:38 - Fedsmoker Jr 01:09:05 - TikToks 01:19:38 - Final Safety Tips 01:22:01 - Closing Song - "She Got Tits" by Joseph and John Juarez Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]
Is It Gay To Drink Matcha? | Your Mom's House Ep. 839
SPONSORS: - Shop SKIMS Mens at https://SKIMS.com. #skimspartner - Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom Segura and Christina P are firing on all cylinders as chaos reigns from start to finish. Christine boldly reclaims her glasses identity (sparking a surprisingly heated household debate), questionable gift choices come under scrutiny, and the internet once again proves it was the greatest mistake. From rage-filled rants about fake followers and bots, to disturbingly confident accountants, fetish podcasters breaking down their very specific preferences, and viral videos featuring hornets, skateboarding trauma, and shower-time courting rituals, this episode will make you cry m, my baby! Tim and Christine also check out more content from their new favorite survivalist, chime in on a Italian man's scam with his dead mother, and go off about people walking among us who aren't as sane as they seem. Add in fart economics, tactical vests for children, holiday gifting advice, and a deep dive into what really makes something “gay,” and you’ve got a classic YMH rollercoaster. Buckle up, Mommy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 839 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:58 - Opening Clip: Fireside Chat 00:07:19 - Clowning Around A Pazsitzky Effect 00:17:00 - Prepared Not Paranoid 00:28:40 - Lipstick Plug 00:30:16 - Bitches Love A Strong Jawline 00:34:39 - Clip: Fart Fetish Confession 00:39:20 - Clip: Domino's Fart Pizza 00:43:18 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:49:34 - MMA Domination 00:51:43 - Hitler Won An Election 00:58:19 - Italian Mom Scam + Plain Clothes Psycho 01:05:38 - Meghan Markle's Salmonella Thanksgiving 01:08:35 - Crack Is Whack 01:14:40 - A Really Cool Story 01:19:38 - TikToks 01:33:49 - Closing Song - "SooWoo" by Josh Del Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]
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