Ep. 17 Regulate First: Raising an Neurodivergent Child Without Burning Out - The Autism Parent Coach

Ep. 17 Regulate First: Raising an Neurodivergent Child Without Burning Out - The Autism Parent Coach

I didn't meet Jennifer through the podcast. I found her the way a lot of you probably will, scrolling on a hard day, underwater in my own life, when her content stopped me cold. It was the mornings. The getting-out-the-door. The meltdowns nobody films. It helped me before she was ever a guest. Jennifer is an autism parent coach raising a neurodivergent daughter, and neurodivergent herself. Somewhere in the years of fighting for her kid, for the evaluation, off an eighteen-month waitlist, through school districts and IEPs, she figured out the thing that changed everything: you cannot regulate your child from an empty, frayed nervous system. So she starts with mom. Not as a bubble bath you earn, as the foundation the whole house sits on. In this one she gives us the images I can't put down. Survival mode is a boat with a hole in it, and you're bailing water as fast as you can, and the answer was never to bail faster, it was to patch the hole. A child mid-meltdown has a prefrontal cortex that's gone offline, like a router unplugged, and you can't reason your way in, you can only help plug it back in. And her daughter's autism isn't a diagnosis she's afraid of, it's an insight. We talk about the 160% she used to pour into the wrong rooms until it burned her out, and what it looks like now that she points that same energy at what actually fills her. We talk about losing your temper and coming back to repair it, about mom guilt, and about why regulating yourself isn't selfish, it's the whole job. I got called out, in the best way, and I shared more of my own story than I planned to. If you're a parent white-knuckling the morning, or just a person running on empty and calling it strong, this one's for you. Find Jennifer: She's The Autism Parent Coach on Instagram, @theautismparentcoach. She offers one-on-one coaching and a membership community for moms raising neurodivergent kids. ---------------------------------------- A little disclaimer: The stories and views you hear on this show belong to the people telling them. I'm not here to agree, correct, diagnose, or decide who's right. Take what helps you, and leave the rest. ---------------------------------------- Content warning: This episode includes discussion of parental burnout and survival mode, raising a neurodivergent child, meltdowns, losing your temper and repairing it, mom guilt and shame, mental-health treatment, and chronic illness. If you're struggling, you're not alone: US: Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7 International: Find a helpline in 200+ countries at findahelpline.com [http://findahelpline.com]. Autism and caregiver support: The Autism Society's National Helpline can help you find local services and navigate a diagnosis, autismsociety.org [http://autismsociety.org]. And if you're the caregiver running on empty, that counts as a reason to reach out too. ---------------------------------------- Love the show? Share this episode and follow or subscribe so the next story finds you too. If you have a minute, a rating or review really helps too. Say hi: Instagram: @anchormomentspod TikTok: @anchormomentspod Web: anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] Got a story to share? anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] or email hello@anchormomentspod.com [hello@anchormomentspod.com] You're part of someone's story, so carry that with kindness.

Ep. 16 Cystic Fibrosis, Perfectionism, and the Drug That Changed Everything - Morgan's Story

Morgan was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at seven years old. Her sister was five. Her brother came a few years later, also with CF. The message she got - from every clinic appointment, every doctor, every parent - was: do your treatments, take your medications, do everything right, and you'll make it to the therapy that saves your life. She believed it completely. And she built an entire identity around believing it. This episode is about what that does to a person over twenty years. How it keeps you alive and quietly shapes you into someone who can't tolerate what she can't control, who doesn't know how to have needs, and who checks every box because that's the only way she knows how to feel okay. It's also about what happens when the therapy actually comes. When Tricafta arrives and within days you're breathing differently than you ever have. And then your mind gets a little quiet, and you look back and go: oh. That's why I'm this way. If you've ever built your whole life around an if-then belief - if I do everything right, then I'll be okay - this one's for you. This week's question: Morgan and her sister had the exact same disease and completely opposite reactions to it. One followed every rule. One refused all of them. Which one would you have been? Come tell us at @anchormomentspod. Find Morgan: Morgan's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/morganbarrett__/] Want to learn more about cystic fibrosis or support the research that made Tricafta possible? The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is at cff.org [http://cff.org]. A little disclaimer: The stories and views on this show belong to the people telling them. They aren't always mine, and that's kind of the point. I'm not here to agree, correct, diagnose, or decide who's right. Take what helps you, and leave the rest. Content warning: This episode touches on childhood illness and medical trauma, life expectancy and mortality, anxiety and mental health, and the death of a beloved childhood mentor. If you need support, you're not alone: * US: Call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, 24/7) * International: findahelpline.com [http://findahelpline.com] (200+ countries) or befrienders.org [http://befrienders.org] Love the show? The best way to help Anchor Moments grow is to share this episode with the one person you thought about while you were listening, and to follow or subscribe so the next story finds you too.Instagram: @anchormomentspod | TikTok: @anchormomentspod | anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] Got a story? anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] or hello@anchormomentspod.com [hello@anchormomentspod.com] You're part of someone's story, so carry that with kindness.

Ep. 15 The Things That Hold Us: A Creepy Doll, a Blind Prom Date, and Being Chosen

This week it's just me. Last Wednesday of the month means I drop one of my own anchor moments, and this one is on the lighter side, because anchor moments can be good ones too. I'm telling you about my two first loves. The first was a weird off-brand troll doll named Norfin that I got one Christmas instead of the troll I actually asked for, and then loved so hard he went grey, matted, and bandaged. He held me through every lonely night of a childhood where I felt unseen. The second was a blind prom date that started as a total disaster and turned into the man I've been married to for more than twenty years. It's a story about the things and the people that hold us together when no one else sees us, and about the slow, stubborn realization that it was never about the doll being pretty or the start being perfect. It was about being chosen. If you've ever had a blanket, a doll, or a person you couldn't let go of or never let go of you, you'll appreciate this feel good story. This week's question (come answer on Instagram): What was your Norfin? The doll, blanket, or worn-out thing that held you when you couldn't hold yourself yet. Tell me what it was and whether you still have it. @anchormomentspod ---------------------------------------- A note before you listen: These are my stories and my reflections. Take what helps and leave the rest. My mom is an angel and did the best she could. My stuff is my stuff, and I've turned out pretty great, so no one needs to carry any of this on my behalf. Content note: This one is warm and chill, but we do touch on childhood loneliness, feeling unseen, abandonment feelings, and the loss of my dad. Nothing graphic or explicit. If today's not the day, that's okay. Take care of you and come back when you're ready. Support resources (always here): * US: Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7. * International: findahelpline.com [http://findahelpline.com] (200+ countries) and Befrienders Worldwide at befrienders.org [http://befrienders.org]. Spread the word: Send this to the one person you thought of while listening. Then follow Anchor Moments wherever you're listening so the new episodes find you, and if you have a minute, leave a rating or review. Word of mouth is how this little show keeps going. Have a story to share? Everybody has one. Head to anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com], fill out the intake form, and get on the calendar. Or just say hi at hello@anchormomentspod.com [hello@anchormomentspod.com]. Find the show: * Instagram: @anchormomentspod * TikTok: @anchormomentspod * Web: anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] You're part of someone's story, so carry that with kindness.

Ep. 14 When Grief Meets Betrayal: How Jean Survived Sudden Loss - The Woke Widow

Jean doesn't look like her story. She's little, she wears pink, she's got these curls, and then she opens her mouth and you realize this is a woman who has buried almost everyone she loved and come out the other side as someone new. In this episode, Jean takes us from a strict, loving childhood in Staten Island to a college pregnancy that got her kicked out of her family, to the slow and graceful loss of her mother, the fast and brutal loss of her father, and then the sudden death of her husband in a hotel room a few states away, on what was supposed to be one of the best days of her life. What she found out after he was gone changed everything she thought she knew. There's grief here, there's a stretch that honestly plays like a crime show, and there's a red bird. We talk about betrayal, what it means to pour love back into yourself, and why she protects her rituals fiercely. This week's question: Jean had nothing left to lose, so she knocked on her late husband's drug dealers' doors and demanded her money back. No backup, no plan, just nerve. If you were that far past the edge, would you knock on the door, or find another way out? Come tell us on Instagram! Find Jean: Instagram @thewokewidow (https://www.instagram.com/thewokewidow/ [https://www.instagram.com/thewokewidow/]). She's writing a book and offers sound baths, breath work, and Reiki. ---------------------------------------- A little disclaimer: The stories and views you hear on this show belong to the people telling them. They aren't always mine, and that's kind of the point. I'm not here to agree, correct, diagnose, or decide who's right. My job is to listen, to hold space, and to let each person's experience stand as theirs. Take what helps you, and leave the rest. ---------------------------------------- Content warning: This episode includes discussion of the death of a parent, terminal illness and hospice, the sudden loss of a spouse, infidelity, addiction and substance use, and heavy grief. Please take care of yourself however you need to. If you're struggling, you're not alone: US: Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. International: Find a helpline in 200+ countries at findahelpline.com [http://findahelpline.com], or reach Befrienders Worldwide at befrienders.org [http://befrienders.org]. ---------------------------------------- Love the show? The best way to help Anchor Moments grow is to share this episode with the one person who came to mind while you listened, and to follow or subscribe so the next story finds you too. If you have a minute, a rating or review helps more than you'd think. Come say hi: Instagram: @anchormomentspod TikTok: @anchormomentspod Web: anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] Got a story to share? anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] or email hello@anchormomentspod.com [hello@anchormomentspod.com] You're part of someone's story, so carry that with kindness.

Ep. 13 "Enough: I Exist, and I am Worthy" - Khushnum's Story

In this episode, I talk with Khushnum - a therapist and mentor - about what happens when your worth gets wired to your performance before you're old enough to know it's happening. Khushnum grew up believing she was only as good as what she could produce. She became a high achiever, a fixer, the one who reads the room before she had the words for any of it. And even with all the training, all the modalities, all the language for what she was doing, the pattern kept running underneath. It took her body stopping her - and a long stretch of sitting in the quiet she'd spent her whole life avoiding - to start asking who she was without the performance. We talk about over-functioning, the difference between healing and just collecting more knowledge about yourself, what it actually looks like to give something to yourself instead of checking a box, and why she's not afraid to get in the muck with the people she works with. Khushnum isn't standing at a tidy ending. She's still in it, a few steps further down the path. That's exactly what makes this one worth sitting with. A few things we get into: * Worth that's tied to producing, and where that starts * Why "I exist, and I'm worthy" is harder to say than it sounds * The one small non-negotiable you give to yourself every day * Being in it with people instead of handing down answers Find Khushnum: https://www.instagram.com/khushnum_stevens/ [https://www.instagram.com/khushnum_stevens/] ---------------------------------------- Resources relevant to what was shared: If you're running on burnout or feeling like you've lost yourself somewhere in everything you do for everyone else, you don't have to sit in that alone. For mental health support and finding a therapist: SAMHSA Helpline: 1-800-662-4357 (free, confidential, 24/7) Psychology Today therapist finder: psychologytoday.com [http://psychologytoday.com] If you are in crisis or having thoughts of suicide: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 International listeners: findahelpline.com [http://findahelpline.com] (200+ countries) befrienders.org [http://befrienders.org] ---------------------------------------- Have a story for Anchor Moments? hello@anchormomentspod.com [hello@anchormomentspod.com] | anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com]