Ep. 15 The Things That Hold Us: A Creepy Doll, a Blind Prom Date, and Being Chosen

Ep. 15 The Things That Hold Us: A Creepy Doll, a Blind Prom Date, and Being Chosen

This week it's just me. Last Wednesday of the month means I drop one of my own anchor moments, and this one is on the lighter side, because anchor moments can be good ones too. I'm telling you about my two first loves. The first was a weird off-brand troll doll named Norfin that I got one Christmas instead of the troll I actually asked for, and then loved so hard he went grey, matted, and bandaged. He held me through every lonely night of a childhood where I felt unseen. The second was a blind prom date that started as a total disaster and turned into the man I've been married to for more than twenty years. It's a story about the things and the people that hold us together when no one else sees us, and about the slow, stubborn realization that it was never about the doll being pretty or the start being perfect. It was about being chosen. If you've ever had a blanket, a doll, or a person you couldn't let go of or never let go of you, you'll appreciate this feel good story. This week's question (come answer on Instagram): What was your Norfin? The doll, blanket, or worn-out thing that held you when you couldn't hold yourself yet. Tell me what it was and whether you still have it. @anchormomentspod ---------------------------------------- A note before you listen: These are my stories and my reflections. Take what helps and leave the rest. My mom is an angel and did the best she could. My stuff is my stuff, and I've turned out pretty great, so no one needs to carry any of this on my behalf. Content note: This one is warm and chill, but we do touch on childhood loneliness, feeling unseen, abandonment feelings, and the loss of my dad. Nothing graphic or explicit. If today's not the day, that's okay. Take care of you and come back when you're ready. Support resources (always here): * US: Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7. * International: findahelpline.com [http://findahelpline.com] (200+ countries) and Befrienders Worldwide at befrienders.org [http://befrienders.org]. Spread the word: Send this to the one person you thought of while listening. Then follow Anchor Moments wherever you're listening so the new episodes find you, and if you have a minute, leave a rating or review. Word of mouth is how this little show keeps going. Have a story to share? Everybody has one. Head to anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com], fill out the intake form, and get on the calendar. Or just say hi at hello@anchormomentspod.com [hello@anchormomentspod.com]. Find the show: * Instagram: @anchormomentspod * TikTok: @anchormomentspod * Web: anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] You're part of someone's story, so carry that with kindness.

Ep. 14 When Grief Meets Betrayal: How Jean Survived Sudden Loss - The Woke Widow

Jean doesn't look like her story. She's little, she wears pink, she's got these curls, and then she opens her mouth and you realize this is a woman who has buried almost everyone she loved and come out the other side as someone new. In this episode, Jean takes us from a strict, loving childhood in Staten Island to a college pregnancy that got her kicked out of her family, to the slow and graceful loss of her mother, the fast and brutal loss of her father, and then the sudden death of her husband in a hotel room a few states away, on what was supposed to be one of the best days of her life. What she found out after he was gone changed everything she thought she knew. There's grief here, there's a stretch that honestly plays like a crime show, and there's a red bird. We talk about betrayal, what it means to pour love back into yourself, and why she protects her rituals fiercely. This week's question: Jean had nothing left to lose, so she knocked on her late husband's drug dealers' doors and demanded her money back. No backup, no plan, just nerve. If you were that far past the edge, would you knock on the door, or find another way out? Come tell us on Instagram! Find Jean: Instagram @thewokewidow (https://www.instagram.com/thewokewidow/ [https://www.instagram.com/thewokewidow/]). She's writing a book and offers sound baths, breath work, and Reiki. ---------------------------------------- A little disclaimer: The stories and views you hear on this show belong to the people telling them. They aren't always mine, and that's kind of the point. I'm not here to agree, correct, diagnose, or decide who's right. My job is to listen, to hold space, and to let each person's experience stand as theirs. Take what helps you, and leave the rest. ---------------------------------------- Content warning: This episode includes discussion of the death of a parent, terminal illness and hospice, the sudden loss of a spouse, infidelity, addiction and substance use, and heavy grief. Please take care of yourself however you need to. If you're struggling, you're not alone: US: Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. International: Find a helpline in 200+ countries at findahelpline.com [http://findahelpline.com], or reach Befrienders Worldwide at befrienders.org [http://befrienders.org]. ---------------------------------------- Love the show? The best way to help Anchor Moments grow is to share this episode with the one person who came to mind while you listened, and to follow or subscribe so the next story finds you too. If you have a minute, a rating or review helps more than you'd think. Come say hi: Instagram: @anchormomentspod TikTok: @anchormomentspod Web: anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] Got a story to share? anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com] or email hello@anchormomentspod.com [hello@anchormomentspod.com] You're part of someone's story, so carry that with kindness.

Ep. 13 "Enough: I Exist, and I am Worthy" - Khushnum's Story

In this episode, I talk with Khushnum - a therapist and mentor - about what happens when your worth gets wired to your performance before you're old enough to know it's happening. Khushnum grew up believing she was only as good as what she could produce. She became a high achiever, a fixer, the one who reads the room before she had the words for any of it. And even with all the training, all the modalities, all the language for what she was doing, the pattern kept running underneath. It took her body stopping her - and a long stretch of sitting in the quiet she'd spent her whole life avoiding - to start asking who she was without the performance. We talk about over-functioning, the difference between healing and just collecting more knowledge about yourself, what it actually looks like to give something to yourself instead of checking a box, and why she's not afraid to get in the muck with the people she works with. Khushnum isn't standing at a tidy ending. She's still in it, a few steps further down the path. That's exactly what makes this one worth sitting with. A few things we get into: * Worth that's tied to producing, and where that starts * Why "I exist, and I'm worthy" is harder to say than it sounds * The one small non-negotiable you give to yourself every day * Being in it with people instead of handing down answers Find Khushnum: https://www.instagram.com/khushnum_stevens/ [https://www.instagram.com/khushnum_stevens/] ---------------------------------------- Resources relevant to what was shared: If you're running on burnout or feeling like you've lost yourself somewhere in everything you do for everyone else, you don't have to sit in that alone. For mental health support and finding a therapist: SAMHSA Helpline: 1-800-662-4357 (free, confidential, 24/7) Psychology Today therapist finder: psychologytoday.com [http://psychologytoday.com] If you are in crisis or having thoughts of suicide: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 International listeners: findahelpline.com [http://findahelpline.com] (200+ countries) befrienders.org [http://befrienders.org] ---------------------------------------- Have a story for Anchor Moments? hello@anchormomentspod.com [hello@anchormomentspod.com] | anchormomentspod.com [http://anchormomentspod.com]

Ep 12 Maggie's Story, Part 3: "I Like Who I Am" - Healing From a Lifetime of Trauma

Trigger warning: grief and the death of a parent, a serious medical event (stroke), and ongoing healing from trauma. This episode is lighter than Parts 1 and 2, but please take care of yourself. Resources are below. This is Part 3 - the finale. If you haven't listened from the beginning, start with Part 1 first. This story is worth hearing in order. She left. She got out. Her son was in the seat next to her. Part 3 is what happened after. Freedom doesn't mean the hard stuff stops. Maggie still carried the fear in her body - still said sorry too many times, still flinched when she spilled something. Fifty years of survival doesn't pack up and leave just because the circumstances change. But something else happened too. A man named Darrin showed up, patient in a way she had never experienced. Her son became someone she is endlessly proud of. And slowly, then all at once, Maggie started to find her way back to herself. Part 3 covers: starting over and watching her son thrive - what it felt like to be loved without conditions for the first time - losing her mother and the last phone call she almost didn't take - the morning in 2019 when she had a stroke at work and was airlifted to the hospital - learning to walk, talk, and think again - the grief, the arthritis, the art she came back to - and what she found, at fifty years old: peace. A self she actually likes. "I would do it all again to be where I am right now." If you need support Crisis/Suicide: 988 (US/CA) · Samaritans 116 123 (UK/IE) · Lifeline 13 11 14 (AU) · 0800 543 354 (NZ) | 988lifeline.org [http://988lifeline.org] Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-7233 (US) · 0808 2000 247 (UK) · sheltersafe.ca [http://sheltersafe.ca] (CA) · 1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 (AU) · Women's Aid 1800 341 900 (IE) · Are You OK 0800 456 450 (NZ) Stroke Recovery: stroke.org [http://stroke.org] (US) · stroke.org.uk [http://stroke.org.uk] (UK) · heartandstroke.ca [http://heartandstroke.ca] (CA) · strokefoundation.org.au [http://strokefoundation.org.au] (AU) · irishheart.ie [http://irishheart.ie] (IE) · stroke.org.nz [http://stroke.org.nz] (NZ) Mental Health: SAMHSA 1-800-662-4357 samhsa.gov [http://samhsa.gov] (US) · Mind 0300 123 3393 mind.org.uk [http://mind.org.uk] (UK) · crisisservicescanada.ca [http://crisisservicescanada.ca] (CA) · Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 (AU) · mentalhealthireland.ie [http://mentalhealthireland.ie] (IE) · mentalhealth.org.nz [http://mentalhealth.org.nz] (NZ) Website: anchormomentspod.com Instagram: @anchormomentspod If Maggie's story moved you, share it. These stories only do their work when they travel.

Ep. 11 Maggie's Story, Part 2: "He Didn't Even Notice I Was Gone" -Leaving an Abusive Marriage

Trigger warning: emotional and financial abuse within a marriage, a false criminal accusation and arrest, suicidal ideation, and grief. This is Part 2 of a three-part series. At the end of Part 1, Maggie was alive. Angry about it. Not yet knowing what was still ahead. Part 2 is the long middle. And if you've ever lived through a long middle - the part where things are hard and slow and there's no obvious way out - you will recognize something of yourself in this episode. Maggie stayed in a marriage for nearly twenty years that slowly took everything: her money, her confidence, her voice. She knew something was wrong. But she had been practicing survival since she was small. And then her son was born. And everything shifted. Part 2 covers: almost two decades of financial and emotional control - finding her voice at work because it was the only place she had one - her son's birth and the turning point he became - the moment her twelve-year-old said he couldn't watch her cry anymore - being fired and falsely accused of embezzling at the same time she was facing a cancer scare - the arrest, the mugshot on the front page, and $$$ in restitution ordered for something she didn't do - why she pleaded guilty - forgiving her dying father - and the morning she packed everything into a little car and drove away while her husband was at work. He didn't even notice she was gone. All parts available now. Subscribe so you don't miss our next great story. Resources: Crisis/Suicide: 988 (US/CA) · Samaritans 116 123 (UK/IE) · Lifeline 13 11 14 (AU) · 0800 543 354 (NZ) | 988lifeline.org [http://988lifeline.org] Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-7233 (US) · 0808 2000 247 (UK) · sheltersafe.ca [http://sheltersafe.ca] (CA) · 1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 (AU) · Women's Aid 1800 341 900 (IE) · Are You OK 0800 456 450 (NZ) Sexual Assault: RAINN 1-800-656-4673 (US) · Rape Crisis 0808 802 9999 (England/Wales) · 08088 01 03 02 (Scotland) · casac.ca [http://casac.ca] (CA) · 1800RESPECT (AU) · DRCC 1800 778 888 (IE) · Safe to Talk 0800 044 334 (NZ) Pregnancy & Infant Loss: nationalshare.org [http://nationalshare.org] (US) · Sands 0808 164 3332 sands.org.uk [http://sands.org.uk] (UK) · pailnetwork.ca [http://pailnetwork.ca] (CA) · Sands 1300 072 637 sands.org.au [http://sands.org.au] (AU) · alittlelifetime.ie [http://alittlelifetime.ie] (IE) · sands.org.nz [http://sands.org.nz] (NZ) Mental Health: SAMHSA 1-800-662-4357 samhsa.gov [http://samhsa.gov] (US) · Mind 0300 123 3393 mind.org.uk [http://mind.org.uk] (UK) · crisisservicescanada.ca [http://crisisservicescanada.ca] (CA) · Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 (AU) · mentalhealthireland.ie [http://mentalhealthireland.ie] (IE) · mentalhealth.org.nz [http://mentalhealth.org.nz] (NZ) Website: anchormomentspod.com Instagram: @anchormomentspod