Fame, Incels, and the Need to Matter | Rebecca Goldstein

Fame, Incels, and the Need to Matter | Rebecca Goldstein

Author Rebecca Newberger Goldstein joins us to explore “the mattering instinct,” the deeply human need to feel significant, worthy, and justified in our own eyes. From “mattering projects” and morality to fame, incels, AI, and entropy, this conversation dives into the psychological and philosophical forces shaping how we search for meaning and purpose in our lives. Topics [0:00] Intro and Speed Round with Rebecca Goldstein [7:12] What is the “Mattering Instinct”? [11:57] Why Mattering Creates Conflict [15:11] Depression, Despair, and Significance [26:42] The Four “Mattering” Types [32:34] Fame, Recognition, and Validation [41:38] Incels, Radicalization, and the Search for Meaning [46:19] Ethics, Entropy, and Human Flourishing [51:59] Desert Island Music [59:17] Grooving Session: Defining Mattering ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links About Rebecca [https://rebeccagoldstein.com/] The Mattering Instinct by Rebecca Newberger Goldstein  [https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-mattering-instinct-how-our-deepest-longing-drives-us-and-divides-us-rebecca-newberger-goldstein/e6ad38a44c3fb1c8?ean=9781324096856&next=t] Join us on Substack! [https://bgpodcast.substack.com/] Join the Behavioral Grooves community [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1025501742354651] Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@behavioralgrooves] Support Behavioral Grooves [https://bgpodcast.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fbgpodcast.substack.com%2F] Musical Links Johann Sebastian Bach - Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 [https://youtu.be/Czsd13Mmcg0?si=3QGEE_kpuUHtqosf] Leonard Cohen - Dance Me to the End of Love [https://youtu.be/NGorjBVag0I?si=V4zGKgXlpiZfMdqt]

The Hidden Rules of Lucky People | Judd Kessler

What if luck has less to do with chance and more to do with understanding the systems around us? We talk with Judd Kessler about the hidden markets shaping opportunities in everything from concert tickets and jobs to relationships and organ transplants. Together, we explore why so many systems feel unfair, how behavioral economics can improve them, and why learning the rules behind these invisible structures may be the key to getting a little luckier in life. Topics [0:00] Introduction and Speed Round with Judd Kessler [13:18] The Hidden Markets Behind Organ Donation [18:30] Market Design in Medicine [29:13] How Incentives Work [35:30] TSA PreCheck, Scarcity, and Making Better Systems [40:14] The Ticketmaster Problem [46:20] The Ticketmaster Solution [53:34] Hidden Markets in Podcasts and Beyond [59:18] “The Room Where it Happens” with Lin-Manuel Miranda [1:05:30] Desert Island Music Picks [1:08:00] Grooving Session: Creating Luck Wherever You Go ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links About Judd [https://juddbkessler.com/] Lucky by Design by Judd Kessler [https://bookshop.org/p/books/lucky-by-design-the-hidden-economics-you-need-to-get-more-of-what-you-want-judd-kessler/ecf5465c33f3211a?ean=9780316566827&next=t&next=t&affiliate=2344] Join us on Substack! [https://bgpodcast.substack.com/] Join the Behavioral Grooves community [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1025501742354651] Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@behavioralgrooves] Support Behavioral Grooves [https://bgpodcast.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fbgpodcast.substack.com%2F] Musical Links Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso [https://youtu.be/eVli-tstM5E?si=_ephj5ZTeXlPMO0c] The Beatles - Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds [https://youtu.be/l7x-0c9jl4Y?si=6aQ-YfhstQjQGQKX]

How the Spaces Around Us Shape Our Lives | Leidy Klotz

Why do some spaces energize us while others drain us? This week, Leidy Klotz joins us to explore how our homes, workplaces, and everyday environments shape our behavior, creativity, and well-being. Drawing from his new book, In a Good Place, Leidy explains why humans crave agency, competence, and connection, and how the spaces around us can either support or suppress those needs. Topics [0:00] Intro and Speed Round with Leidy Klotz [11:01] The Concept of “Good Place” [18:26] Psychological Needs and Space [26:44] Making Purposeful Decisions for Spaces [34:02] Designing Spaces for Growth and Belonging [45:09] Creating Groovy Spaces [50:03] Grooving Session: Practical Tips for Designing Better Spaces ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links About Leidy Klotz [https://leidyklotz.com/] In a Good Place by Leidy Klotz [https://www.amazon.com/Good-Place-Spaces-Where-Thrive/dp/0316567361?&linkCode=sl2&tag=outthink06-20&linkId=8ef8dd65972b8237e582588fa05132de&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl] Join us on Substack! [https://bgpodcast.substack.com/] Join the Behavioral Grooves community [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1025501742354651] Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@behavioralgrooves] Support Behavioral Grooves [https://bgpodcast.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fbgpodcast.substack.com%2F] Musical Links Bruce Springsteen - Racing in the Street [https://youtu.be/cm9UuM3UXdc?si=RQVrnpeVMlUF85kc] Bruce Springsteen - No Surrender [https://youtu.be/txKhQ9cbhgo?si=z3OLzEhakgz2m5PN]

Throwback Thursday: The #1 Way to Live a Happy Life | Shige Oishi

In this throwback episode, we're determined to be happy. Psychologist Shige Oishi joined us to explore the three dimensions of a fulfilling life: happiness, meaning, and psychological richness. He shared insights from decades of research into subjective well-being and revealed how personality traits, life experiences, and cultural contexts shape what we consider a “good life.” From challenging the “happiness trap” to embracing life’s rich diversity, this conversation is a roadmap for deeper self-reflection and greater fulfillment. Topics [0:00] Intro and Speed Round with Shige Oishi [10:28] The Happiness Trap [18:38] Eudaimonic and Hedonic Approaches to Happiness [27:30] The Correlation Between Psychological Richness and Personality [35:00] Gratitude and Social Connection [44:10] What Makes a Happy Society? [48:00] Desert Island Music [1:05:25]  Grooving Session: How to Pursue a Fulfilling Life ©2025 Behavioral Grooves Links About Shige [https://psychology.uchicago.edu/directory/Shigehiro-Oishi] Life in Three Dimensions by Shigehiro Oishi [https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/740022/life-in-three-dimensions-by-shigehiro-oishi-phd/] Happiness is Everything, or Is It? [https://scottbarrykaufman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/2-Happiness-is-everything-or-is-it.pdf] Join us on Substack! [https://bgpodcast.substack.com/] Join the Behavioral Grooves community [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1025501742354651] Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@behavioralgrooves] Musical Links Charlie Parker - Honeysuckle Rose [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7I8FX6nGJ0&list=RDf7I8FX6nGJ0&start_radio=1] Clifford Brown & Max Roach - Joy Spring [https://youtu.be/dnK6OHPQZbA?si=zP_nF730ZXb34sKm]

Why We’re Lonely Together | Nick Epley

Why do we avoid talking to strangers when connection is exactly what we need most? This week, Nick Epley returns to explore the psychology of “under-sociality” and why we consistently underestimate how rewarding social interaction can be. Nick explains why even small moments of openness, from conversations with strangers to deeper honesty with the people around us, can dramatically improve happiness, trust, and belonging. Turns out, the biggest social risk often isn’t reaching out, it’s staying quiet. Topics [0:00] Intro and Speed Round with Nick Epley [10:40] The Paradox of Being Social [19:12] Experiments and Findings [26:20] How Being Social Impacts Your Health [32:27] The Challenges of Being Social - Political Divides [46:00] Introverts, Extroverts, and What Maslow Got Wrong [54:30] Loneliness, Survival, and the Need to Belong [1:02:18] Grief, Adoption, and the Power of Connection [1:12:56] Desert Island Music [1:15:42] Grooving Session: Leadership, Conversation, and Connection ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links About Nick [https://share.google/EbQaJqrMK7ciWf4Nw] A Little More Social by Nick Epley [https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/671591/a-little-more-social-by-nicholas-epley/] Join us on Substack! [https://bgpodcast.substack.com/] Join the Behavioral Grooves community [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1025501742354651] Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@behavioralgrooves] Support Behavioral Grooves [https://bgpodcast.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fbgpodcast.substack.com%2F] Musical Links Matt Kearney - Ships in the Night [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCkfTCjF8SM&list=RDBCkfTCjF8SM&start_radio=1] Rufus Wainwright - Across the Universe (Cover) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAe1lVDbLf0&list=RDcAe1lVDbLf0&start_radio=1]