The Sabrina Zohar Show

195: Do You Want Love Or Do You Want to Be Picked So You Feel Worthy?

If you've ever lost interest the moment someone became available, or stayed obsessed with someone who kept you at arm's length, this episode is for you. Part three of the Hard Truth Series breaks down the most common pattern nobody wants to admit: using relationships to collect proof of your worth instead of building real partnership. Backed by research on rejection sensitivity and anxious attachment, Sabrina unpacks why chasing external validation creates a cycle no amount of love can fix, how to tell if you are dating for connection or reassurance, and what it actually takes to stop performing and start showing up. If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  HERE! [https://foundation.sabrinazohar.com/foundation] If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! [https://slow.sabrinazohar.com/] Get Ad free HERE! [https://sz.supercast.com/] Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! [https://stan.store/Sabrinazohar] Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE! [https://sabrinazohar.squarespace.com/store] Don't forget to follow Sabrina [https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/] and The Sabrina Zohar Show [https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow/] on Instagram and Sabrina  [https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar]on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSKQduzS78E6-I9tx0jqjpw] Please support our sponsors! * Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Head to acorns.com/ZOHAR [https://acorns.com/ZOHAR] or download the Acorns app to get started. * Right now, Momentous is offering our listeners up to 35% off your first order with promo code SABRINA. Head to livemomentous.com [https://livemomentous.com/] ============================= Chapters: 00:00 Dating for Validation vs Partnership 03:17 Why You're Not Ready for Real Love 07:00 Proof Seeking vs Building Partnership 10:37 Rejection and Self-Worth 15:00 Core Beliefs and the Validation Trap 19:00 Why External Validation Never Fills the Void 23:35 The Research Behind Approval Seeking 26:28 What Validation Dating Actually Costs You 29:21 Are You Performing or Showing Up 32:10 The Validation Check Tool of the Week Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

194: How To Actually Heal Your Nervous System And Change Your Life w/ Nicole LePera

Why do you overreact in relationships when the situation doesn't match the emotion? Sabrina sits down with Dr. Nicole LePera, The Holistic Psychologist [https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/], to break down inner child wounds, how your nervous system stores childhood trauma before you have words to process it, and why certain dating triggers send you spiraling. They dive into emotional attunement, generational trauma, shame, and anxious attachment patterns. Dr. Nicole shares reparenting tools from her new book, Reparenting The Inner Child [https://amzn.to/4uG7F9i], including how to regulate your nervous system and stop self-abandoning in relationships. If you've ever said "I had a great childhood" but still struggle with dating anxiety or abandonment fears, this one's for you. If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  HERE! [https://foundation.sabrinazohar.com/foundation] If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! [https://slow.sabrinazohar.com/] Get Ad free HERE! [https://sz.supercast.com/] Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! [https://stan.store/Sabrinazohar] Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE! [https://sabrinazohar.squarespace.com/store] Don't forget to follow Sabrina [https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/] and The Sabrina Zohar Show [https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow/] on Instagram and Sabrina  [https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar]on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSKQduzS78E6-I9tx0jqjpw] Please support our sponsors! * This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month of Betterhelp at betterhelp.com/sabrina [https://betterhelp.com/sabrina] * Go to Quince.com/SABRINA [https://quince.com/SABRINA] for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. * As an exclusive offer, my listeners can get their choice between organic ground beef, chicken breast or shrimp in every box for a year, PLUS $20 off when you go to ButcherBox.com/SABRINA [https://butcherbox.com/SABRINA] ============================= Chapters: 0:00 Your Reaction Doesn't Match Reality 1:24 Meet Dr. Nicole LePera 3:16 What Is Your Inner Child 5:07 "I Had a Perfect Childhood" 10:00 How Your Nervous System Stores Trauma 14:02 Nature vs Nurture in Attachment 17:32 Body Signals of Inner Child Wounds 19:59 Why Dating Triggers Hit So Hard 23:47 Shame and Self-Sabotage in Love 29:19 Recognizing Triggers in Real Time 36:15 What Reparenting Looks Like 40:44 Nervous System Regulation Tools 46:03 Inner Child Patterns in Relationships 53:24 Healing Is Not a Destination Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

193: Can You Get Someone To Be Emotionally Available?

You've done the therapy, read the books, and know your attachment style... so why does nothing change? In part 2 of the Hard Truth Series, Sabrina breaks down why you cannot heal your way out of incompatibility. Drawing on real research, she unpacks how to tell the difference between a wrong match and relationship anxiety, why therapy language can become a cage that keeps you stuck, and the line between actual growth and emotional gymnastics. If you've stayed way past the expiration date convinced the work would eventually pay off, this episode is for you. Sabrina covers the fear-of-being-single trap, why your anxiety isn't always an attachment wound, and introduces the Responsibility Audit. Some relationships don't fail because you're broken, they fail because two people want fundamentally different things. If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  HERE! [https://foundation.sabrinazohar.com/foundation] If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! [https://slow.sabrinazohar.com/] Get Ad free HERE! [https://sz.supercast.com/] Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! [https://stan.store/Sabrinazohar] Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE! [https://sabrinazohar.squarespace.com/store] Don't forget to follow Sabrina [https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/] and The Sabrina Zohar Show [https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow/] on Instagram and Sabrina  [https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar]on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSKQduzS78E6-I9tx0jqjpw] Please support our sponsors! * Treat yourself to gear that looks good, feels good, and doesn’t break the bank with Fabletics. Go to Fabletics.com/SABRINA [https://fabletics.com/SABRINA] and sign up as a VIP and get eighty percent off everything! * Go to IM8HEALTH.com/SABRINA [https://IM8HEALTH.com/SABRINA] and use code SABRINA for a Free Welcome Kit, five free travel sachets plus ten percent off your order * Get 15% off OneSkin with the code SABRINA at https://www.oneskin.co/SABRINA [https://www.oneskin.co/SABRINA] #oneskinpod ============================= Chapters 00:00 Hard Truth Series Part 2 Intro 03:14 The Self-Improvement Trap 05:33 Anxiety or a Bad Match? 08:03 When Self-Work Becomes Self-Blame 11:40 Compatibility Is Not a Wound 17:16 What Doing the Work Can't Fix 24:32 When Therapy Speak Keeps You Stuck 26:42 Growth vs. Emotional Gymnastics 31:11 The Knowing vs. Leaving Gap 34:10 The Responsibility Audit Tool Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

192: How To Let Someone In Without Losing Yourself | In The Trenches

Dating with an open heart sounds beautiful until your nervous system has other plans. In this solo In The Trenches audience Q&A episode, Sabrina answers your most raw questions about how to let someone in without losing yourself, how to date after grief, and what it actually looks like to stay present when fear or anxiety is running the show. From navigating new love after loss to the hard truth about anxious attachment and self-accountability, this episode covers the real work of building a healthy relationship: nervous system regulation, emotional ownership, and learning the difference between communicating and controlling. Want your question answered on a future episode? Send in your inquiries, stories, and dating profiles to inthetrenches@sabrinazohar.com If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  HERE! [https://www.sabrinazohar.com/foundation-course-v2?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Show%20Notes&utm_campaign=Ongoing] If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! [https://slow.sabrinazohar.com/] Get Ad free HERE! [https://sz.supercast.com/] Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! [https://stan.store/Sabrinazohar] Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE! [https://sabrinazohar.squarespace.com/store] Don't forget to follow Sabrina [https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/] and The Sabrina Zohar Show [https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow/] on Instagram and Sabrina  [https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar]on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSKQduzS78E6-I9tx0jqjpw] Please support our sponsors! * Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com [https://wayfair.com/] right now to shop all things home. * Text SABRINA to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. ============================= Chapters 00:00 Dating Without Losing Yourself 03:06 Dating After Grief and Loss 05:02 How to Make Space for Grief While Dating 07:51 When and How to Share Your Grief 09:42 Dating with Courage After Hard Times 11:28 What Is Sapiosexuality in Dating 19:30 Nervous System and Emotional Intimacy 24:30 Anxious Attachment and Gaslighting 27:06 Codependency and Emotional Regulation 29:42 Anxious Attachment and Accountability Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

191: Why You Keep Falling For Their Potential Instead Of Who They Are

Ever caught yourself saying "when it's good, it's so good"? In this first episode of the 4-part Hard Truth Series, Sabrina breaks down why you keep falling in love with who someone could be instead of who they actually are — and why potential is just a placeholder for the grief you're avoiding. She dives into the neuroscience of the "prospective brain," the impact bias that keeps you chasing a fantasy, and the 13-year longitudinal study that explains why you lower your standards for the wrong people but can't appreciate the ones who actually show up. Sabrina gets vulnerable about her own patternsand gives you the exact reframe to stop confusing anxiety with connection. Plus, this week's tool: the Potential vs. Reality Audit, a two-column exercise to see whether you're in a relationship or a fantasy. If you've ever wondered why the available person feels boring or why you keep choosing people who need to become someone else for it to work, this one's for you. If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  HERE! [https://www.sabrinazohar.com/foundation-course-v2?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Show%20Notes&utm_campaign=Ongoing] If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! [https://slow.sabrinazohar.com/] Get Ad free HERE! [https://sz.supercast.com/] Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! [https://stan.store/Sabrinazohar] Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE! [https://sabrinazohar.squarespace.com/store] Don't forget to follow Sabrina [https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/] and The Sabrina Zohar Show [https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow/] on Instagram and Sabrina  [https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar]on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSKQduzS78E6-I9tx0jqjpw] Please support our sponsors! * This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month of Betterhelp at betterhelp.com/sabrina [https://betterhelp.com/sabrina] * Right now, Momentous is offering our listeners up to 35% off your first order with promo code SABRINA. Head to livemomentous.com [https://livemomentous.com/] * Head to Greenchef.com/50sabrina [https://greenchef.com/50sabrina] and use code 50sabrina to get fifty percent off your first month, then twenty percent off for two months with free shipping. * Get 40% off select Lola Blankets products at Lolablankets.com [https://%20Lolablankets.com] by using code SABRINA at checkout. Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets ============================= Chapters 00:00 Hard Truth Series Part 1 01:50 Gratitude & Setting Boundaries 04:59 What "I See Potential" Really Means 08:00 The Pattern Is the Real Them 11:08 Real Potential vs Fantasy Potential 15:54 Neuroscience of Dating a Fantasy 20:36 3 Questions Keeping You Stuck 25:51 Are You a Partner or a Fixer 28:21 What If They Change For Someone Else 33:47 Tool: Potential vs Reality Audit Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]