272. "We own two houses, but can’t afford dinner out"

272. "We own two houses, but can’t afford dinner out"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich speaks with Nicole and Drew, 39 and 40, who are expecting their first child in just two weeks. They split their time between Southern California and Maui, where they each own a home. Nicole bought her house after Drew made it clear that continuing to stay with roommates was not an option. Today, they earn $296,700 a year, own $1.25 million in assets, and have a net worth of more than $500,000. But their two homes consume over 40% of their income, and once their numbers are corrected, their fixed costs rise to 85%. Despite their high income, they feel unable to eat out, attend concerts, or enjoy the life they have worked to build. Nicole is a psychology professor who plans everything down to the dollar and worries about having enough savings. Drew is a life coach and therapist-in-training who admits that she often goes by “vibes” and trusts that things will work out. With a baby arriving and their savings falling, they must decide whether Drew can realistically double her income or whether they need to sell the Maui house. In this episode, we uncover: • Why Nicole bought a house within months of Drew’s housing non-negotiable • How they ended up supporting two homes in two different states • Why earning nearly $297,000 still leaves them feeling financially trapped • Their $1.25 million in assets and nearly $1 million of debt • Why their fixed costs jumped from 77% to 85% • How their two homes consume more than 40% of their income • Nicole’s numbers-first approach and Drew’s habit of going by “vibes” • How grad school, flooding, and a $29,000 sewer repair drained their savings • Why the baby may not increase their expenses as much as expected• How Nicole’s sabbatical gives them a temporary financial window • Why their Maui house is co-owned without a clear written agreement • Whether Drew can realistically double her income after graduating • Why depending on one future income increase is a major financial risk• How selling the Maui house could release around $150,000 • Why selling could reduce their fixed costs to approximately 65% • How they could keep Maui in their lives without owning property there • How they can build a plan that does not require everything to go perfectly • Why “spaciousness” becomes the center of their new Rich Life vision • The decision Ramit believes they need to make before their savings fall further Chapters (00:00:00) Introduction (00:03:09) Two homes in two different states (00:07:03) Nicole kept her housing costs at just 12% (00:08:18) Drew’s housing non-negotiable changed everything (00:14:43) Nicole tracks the numbers, Drew goes by “vibes” (00:21:26) What does their Rich Life actually look like? (00:24:47) Ramit reviews their Conscious Spending Plan (00:25:53) $1.25 million in assets and $986,000 of debt (00:28:15) They earn $296,700 but still feel squeezed (00:29:46) Their fixed costs are higher than they realised (00:32:50) Two homes consume 40.5% of their income (00:34:50) Grad school, flooding, and expensive home repairs (00:40:16) Their real fixed costs jump to 85% (00:45:19) Can they afford their new baby? (01:06:01) Drew’s “life will provide” money mindset (01:12:00) Are they actually on track for retirement? (01:24:39) Ramit reveals their retirement projections (01:33:19) Selling could reduce their fixed costs to 65% (01:50:07) Redefining their Rich Life around “spaciousness” (01:53:04) Ramit’s final assessment This episode is brought to you by: Factor | Head to https://factormeals.com/ramit50off [http://factormeals.com/ramit50off] and use code RAMIT50OFF to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. See website for more details. Gusto | Try Gusto at http://gusto.com/ramit [http://gusto.com/ramit] and get 3 months free when you run your first payroll LMNT | Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT [https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT] Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit [https://trustandwill.com/ramit] and get 20% off  DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit [https://joindeleteme.com/ramit] and use promo code RAMIT at checkout If you’re part of a small group listening to this podcast that is willing to take action, I built Road to $100K for you - a step-by-step program on how to reach $100K. Join Rich Life: Road to $100K at iwt.com/100K. [http://iwt.com/100K] Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Join my Rich Life: Road to $100K program [https://iwt.com/100k] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply [https://iwt.com/apply]

271. "He hid $30K of debt a month before our wedding"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich speaks with Sana and Arhem, both 27 and newly married. One month before their wedding, Arhem revealed that he had hidden $30,000 of credit card debt. After they both lost their jobs, Sana discovered that he had fallen even further into debt without telling her. Today, they earn $188,000 a year and have created an aggressive plan to tackle their $165,000 of total debt. But while their numbers are improving, the betrayal has fundamentally changed their relationship. Sana has become the financial orchestrator, while Arhem feels like a student trying to prove that he can be trusted again. In this episode we uncover: • Why Arhem hid $30,000 of credit card debt before their wedding • How Sana discovered that the debt had grown again • Why the financial betrayal nearly ended their relationship • How they are rebuilding trust after years of secrecy • Their professor-and-student dynamic with money • Why Sana feels responsible for supporting her entire family • How cultural expectations shape her financial decisions • Their $188,000 income and $165,000 of total debt • Why their highly organized financial system still feels joyless • How Arhem accumulated his credit card debt • Why earning more money will not stop Sana from worrying • The danger of postponing happiness until they are debt-free • Why their debt payoff plan may be too aggressive • The connection between joint finances and rebuilding trust • Why Ramit recommends couples therapy • How they can start prioritizing their marriage • The changes Sana and Arhem made after the conversation Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:03:09) Arhem hid $30,000 of debt before their wedding (00:08:06) “If things don’t change, the relationship is done” (00:12:40) Can Sana ever completely trust Arhem again? (00:15:26) Their professor-and-student money dynamic (00:17:35) Why Sana feels responsible for supporting her family (00:28:18) Their $165,000 debt and negative net worth (00:30:27) They earn $188,000—but live like they’re struggling (00:35:12) “When do I actually get to enjoy my life?” (00:46:26) Sana’s childhood money rules (00:56:26) How Arhem accumulated his credit card debt (01:04:02) What does their Rich Life actually look like? (01:09:14) Why their relationship keeps coming second (01:17:53) Ramit reviews their aggressive debt payoff plan (01:21:46) Why they need to start spending on joy now (01:29:47) Joint finances, trust, and couples therapy (01:36:35) Putting their marriage ahead of everyone else (01:47:33) Sana and Arhem’s biggest realizations (01:55:02) Six weeks later: what changed? This episode is brought to you by: Fabric by Gerber Life | Go to meetfabric.com/RAMIT [https://meetfabric.com/RAMIT] and apply today, risk-free Wispr Flow | Try Wispr Flow for free at wisprflow.ai/ramit [https://wisprflow.ai/ramit]DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit [https://joindeleteme.com/ramit] and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit [https://shopify.com/ramit] If you’re part of a small group listening to this podcast that is willing to take action, I built Road to $100K for you - a step-by-step program on how to reach $100K. Join Rich Life: Road to $100K at iwt.com/100K. [http://iwt.com/100K] Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Join my Rich Life: Road to $100K program [https://iwt.com/100k] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply [https://iwt.com/apply]

270. “We’re sacrificing our retirement to pay for our kids’ college”

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Mia and Jake, a couple in their late 30s and early 40s in a blended family with three children. Mia wrote in because she’s afraid paying for their children’s college will cause resentment in their relationship. With no idea how much they are spending, why, or what they truly want their money to do for them, Ramit helps them uncover the root of their money woes. Will they finally get on the same page, create a financial system that works, and feel confident making money decisions together? In this episode we uncover: • How financial discussions lead to frustration and anxiety • The surprising cost of their previous “dream” home • Why they sold their house and downsized • The connection between “feeling” and making financial decisions • How money scarcity is fueling guilt and fear • Why Jake doesn’t understand how to make his money work for him • A deep dive into Mia's family money rules • Why Jake was afraid to talk about money • How their pension influences their financial outlook • The hidden costs of everyday living • Why just “cutting costs” isn’t a long-term solution • The powerful connection between clarity and confidence Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:02:54) “I feel resentment from my husband because our money supports my kids” (00:08:00) Mia and Jake’s money conversations (00:10:28) Mia and Jake bought a huge house they couldn’t afford (00:13:38) Moving on from the house-broke mistake (00:23:23) Mia’s old budget felt like “paper pushing” (00:38:43) Why does Mia feel scared about money? (00:41:39) Adjusting their fixed costs (00:48:43) Why cutting costs is easy for Mia and Jake (00:50:33) Their pension: a financial safety net (01:03:03) Trading anxiety for guilt (01:06:35) Jake’s money messages (01:07:54) What is your rich life vision? (01:13:40) Mia and Jake’s money system (01:25:10) Building Jake’s confidence with money (01:32:20) How Mia and Jake feel about their money now (01:35:22) Mia and Jake’s next steps This episode is brought to you by: Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com [https://leesa.com/] for 25% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit [https://trustandwill.com/ramit] and get 20% off  Gelt | Gelt is taking on new clients now. Find out if you qualify at https://joingelt.com/ramit [https://joingelt.com/ramit] Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit [https://facet.com/ramit] to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd  If you’re part of a small group listening to this podcast that is willing to take action, I built Road to $100K for you - a step-by-step program on how to reach $100K. Join Rich Life: Road to $100K at iwt.com/100K. [http://iwt.com/100K] Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Join my Rich Life: Road to $100K program [https://iwt.com/100k] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply [https://iwt.com/apply]

269. "I want to retire, but my wife is too scared"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Meg and Jo, a married couple in their 60s with more than $6 million in net worth, strong incomes, and a retirement problem that is not really about money. Meg is ready to stop working. Jo wants to retire too, but feels terrified of making the wrong decision and carrying the responsibility for their investments alone. Despite having millions, speaking with financial advisors, and living well below their means, they remain stuck between fear, resentment, and “vibes.” A special thanks to Facet for sponsoring this episode. As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving their enrollment fee for new annual members, and for Ramit’s audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd Facet is a SEC registered investment advisor. Ramit is not a member of Facet, and has an incentive to endorse Facet as he has an ongoing fee based contract for cash compensation based on this endorsement. All opinions are his own and not a guarantee of a similar outcome. In this episode we uncover: • Why Meg feels entitled to retire and Jo feels alone carrying the financial responsibility • How Jo became the financial gatekeeper in their relationship • Why Meg has avoided learning the details of their investments • How different childhood experiences with money shaped their fears • Why Jo’s experience during the 2008 financial crash still affects her decisions today • How emotional labor around money can quietly create resentment in a marriage • Why their disagreement about renovating their home is really about control and security • What their $6.1M net worth, pension, investments, and spending actually allow them to do • Why working longer could leave them with $14M they may never use • The three retirement scenarios that show they can retire sooner than they thought • Why Ramit says Meg needs to “step into her wealth” • What Meg and Jo decided after seeing the numbers clearly Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:02:26) Meg wants to retire, but Jo is hesitant (00:05:40) How Jo became the financial gatekeeper (00:10:19) “I wish you were a partner” (00:19:18) Why Jo is scared to manage retirement alone (00:27:22) Jo’s scarcity mindset and family history (00:41:02) Renovating the house reveals deeper resentment (00:46:46) “What do you base that on?” “Vibes.” (01:01:24) The 2008 crash and Jo’s fear of losing security (01:04:57) Their Conscious Spending Plan (01:09:07) “I spent for dopamine. I gambled like an addict.” (01:16:57) They have enough money but do not believe it (01:19:22) Three retirement scenarios (01:30:01) Why Meg thought Jo was saying they could not retire (01:30:49) “God, I wish you were a partner” (01:32:38) Choosing their retirement timeline (01:36:07) Creating a retirement paycheck (01:40:48) What happens if one of them dies? (01:48:21) Meg and Jo’s follow-up (01:49:54) “We have more money than time” This episode is brought to you by: MasterClass | For unlimited access to every class and at least 15% off any annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit [https://masterclass.com/ramit] DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit [https://joindeleteme.com/ramit] and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Fabric by Gerber Life | Go to meetfabric.com/RAMIT [https://meetfabric.com/RAMIT] and apply today, risk-free LMNT | Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT [https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT] NetSuite | If your revenues are in the seven figures, go to https://netsuite.ai/ramit [https://netsuite.ai/ramit] to try NetSuite Next for free Ready to stop wondering where your money goes and start building your first $100K? Join Rich Life: Road to $100K at iwt.com/100K. [http://iwt.com/100K] Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Join my Rich Life: Road to $100K program [https://iwt.com/100k] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply [https://iwt.com/apply]

268. "We Make $150K… So why are we broke?"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Lauren and Mick, a married couple in their 30s with two kids, $93K of debt, and a dream of moving into a bigger home. They earn around $150K a year combined, but with 89% of their take-home pay already going to fixed costs, just $5K in savings, and years of impulsive spending, their money is stretched far beyond what their lifestyle can support. Both Lauren and Mick have ADHD, which they say makes it harder to manage bills, avoid dopamine spending, and follow through on financial systems. Ramit acknowledges those challenges while encouraging them to explore a deeper issue: ADHD can make money management more difficult, but finding ways to navigate those challenges is still an important part of making the financial decisions their family depends on. In this episode we uncover: • Why Lauren and Mick earn $150K but still only have $5K in savings • How $93.5K of debt is keeping them trapped • Why their 89% fixed costs make a bigger house impossible right now • How ADHD affects their impulse spending, overdue bills, and financial systems • How consolidating $35K of credit-card debt did not solve the behavior behind it • Why they have avoided fully combining their finances after seven years of marriage • How Mick losing his job for a year changed their relationship with money • How both of their childhoods shaped their current spending habits • Why wanting a third child and bigger home is creating pressure they cannot afford • Why small cuts will not fix a structural financial problem • Why Ramit says their household needs a clearer path to $200K in income • What it takes to turn a fantasy of a better life into a real financial plan • How Lauren and Mick responded after the conversation Chapters: (00:00:00) They admit their biggest money mistake (00:01:18) Meet Lauren & Mick (00:02:04) Their shocking financial numbers (00:05:05) How ADHD affects their spending (00:07:08) LEGOLAND, LEGO, and impulse purchases (00:12:22) How job loss changed everything (00:17:38) Breaking down their finances (00:21:22) "Do you respect money?" (00:24:40) Why 89% fixed costs is a disaster (00:26:24) Breaking down $93,500 in debt (00:33:15) Why they still want a bigger house (00:35:11) How childhood shaped their money habits (00:42:43) Why they keep resisting a financial plan (00:53:00) Rebuilding their spending plan (01:02:21) Can they earn more money? (01:08:36) Ramit rebuilds their budget (01:14:16) The income they actually need (01:16:56) Their new financial plan (01:21:23) Lauren & Mick's biggest takeaways (01:24:17) Ramit follow-up: ADHD & money This episode is brought to you by: Grow Therapy | Visit https://growtherapy.com/ramit [https://growtherapy.com/ramit] to find a therapist today Factor | Head to https://factormeals.com/ramit50off and use code RAMIT50OFF to get 50% off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. (See website for more details) Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit [https://trustandwill.com/ramit] and get 20% off  DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit [https://joindeleteme.com/ramit] and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Wispr Flow | Try Wispr Flow for free at wisprflow.ai/ramit [https://wisprflow.ai/ramit] When will you finally feel rich? Join Ramit’s free live event on July 13 and learn how to build real financial security and more options with your money. Save your seat at iwt.com/liveevent [http://iwt.com/liveevent] Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply [https://iwt.com/apply]