Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

250. "We spend 97% of what we make—and can’t stop"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to John and Victoria, a couple in their thirties with three children who own a home they adore in the suburbs of New York. Despite a beautiful house and growing family, their financial reality is grim. They are facing a structural financial problem, with 97% of their take-home pay consumed by fixed costs and less than a week's worth of savings. Ramit helps them confront the deep-seated issues that are keeping them in a constant state of financial precarity, from their avoidance of tough money conversations to inherited money scripts from childhood. Can John and Victoria break free from their cycle of justification and short-term thinking to secure their family's future, or will their dream home remain their biggest financial burden? In this episode we uncover: • How 97% fixed costs lead to a desperate financial situation • The role of a vacation in triggering their mortgage payment crisis • Their alarming "once a year" approach to discussing money • The mental gymnastics behind their Amazon purchases • A revealing peek at their "money wishlist" revealing crazy renovation plans • The shocking truth about their combined total net worth • The impact of a significant annual financial gift on their spending habits • Victoria's avoidance of medical bills and connection to her mother's money habits • Ramit's candid warning about their path to losing their home • The critical choice they face: the house or their financial stability Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:02:37) The Mortgage Crisis and Vacation Spending (00:07:45) Their "Once a Year" Money Talks (00:16:14) The Amazon Justification and Money Wishlist (00:25:10) A High Net Worth, Zero Liquidity (00:30:15) The Emotional Cost of Financial Struggle (00:41:50) The True Cost of Their Grocery Spending (00:48:10) Understanding Their Credit Card Debt (01:09:31) Ramit's Dire Warning: The Threat to Their Home (01:13:07) A Fork in the Road: House vs. Financial Stability This episode is brought to you by: DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit [https://joindeleteme.com/ramit] and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Superhuman Mail | Turn your inbox into momentum. Sign up at https://superhuman.com/ramit3 [https://superhuman.com/ramit3]. Gusto | Try Gusto at http://gusto.com/ramit [http://gusto.com/ramit] and get 3 months free when you run your first payroll Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit [https://trustandwill.com/ramit] and get 10% off plus free shipping ZocDoc | Go to https://zocdoc.com/ramit [https://zocdoc.com/ramit] to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored  Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Do you want to retire in the next 5 years but wonder if you have enough? If so, I'd like to help. Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at iwt.com/apply [http://iwt.com/apply]

249. "We have $2M. Why can’t we enjoy life now?"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Chris and Heather, a couple aged 41 and 39 respectively, who, despite earning over $450,000 annually and boasting a $2.18 million net worth, feel like they're living paycheck to paycheck. Heather, an accomplished healthcare professional, worries that despite their income, they aren't organizing their finances effectively, leading to a feeling of scarcity. Chris, who works for the State of California, focuses on long-term retirement planning but avoids making crucial decisions, leading to "analysis paralysis." Their differing views on spending - Heather’s desire for "rich life now" versus Chris's cautious, debt-averse approach, create underlying tension. Ramit challenges their underlying money psychology, uncovering how childhood experiences influence their current financial anxieties. In this episode we uncover: • Their contrasting interpretations of their "paycheck-to-paycheck" life • Heather's aversion to finance, despite an impressive debt payoff history • Why Chris is hesitant to talk about money • The car purchase that highlighted their financial differences • Why Heather feels conflicted about her luxury spending • Chris's childhood with parents who constantly claimed to be "poor" • Why Chris hates taxes as much as he hates debt • Vacation Chris vs. Everyday Chris's spending habits • The real cost of their financial indecision Chapters: (00:00:00) My income feels like "paycheck to paycheck" (00:04:10) Their differing applications reveal fundamental money beliefs (00:07:22) An argument over income reveals deeper trust issues (00:13:25) "We have enough money, but still feel like we live paycheck to paycheck" (00:19:45) Why people systematically discount money psychology (00:23:28) Their first major money disagreement: financing a car (00:44:48) Their struggle to define "enough" for retirement (00:54:10) Why their "too many unknowns" approach is holding them back (01:05:51) The surprising "Vacation Chris" versus everyday Chris (01:11:11) Heather: “I feel conflicted” about luxury spending (01:24:09) Ramit’s frustration with the couple (01:38:35) Progress updates This episode is brought to you by: Wildgrain | Get $30 off the first box — PLUS free Croissants in every box — at https://wildgrain.com/ramit [https://wildgrain.com/ramit] Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit [https://facet.com/ramit] to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer expires March 31, 2026. #FacetAd  Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit [https://shopify.com/ramit] Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit [https://meetfabric.com/ramit] Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Have you or your partner fallen for a scam? If so, I’d like to help. Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at iwt.com/apply [http://iwt.com/apply]

248. "Her spending scares me. Should we get married?"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Cre and April, a couple of five years, aged 46 and 48. Cre lives a debt-averse life and has been methodically building her wealth. April, on the other hand, earns more than twice Cre's income but struggles with significant debt and zero savings. They are at a crossroads, contemplating moving in together, but their conflicting approaches to money present a major hurdle. Cre fears that April’s spending habits will lead to constant arguments and financial strain, especially with the prospect of marriage and inheriting April's substantial debt. April, however, doesn't see her spending as a problem, insisting she lives a good life and can always work more to cover expenses. Ramit helps them uncover the generational patterns influencing their financial behaviors and challenges them to reconsider their current dynamic. In this episode we uncover: • How Cre and April act as "granny and child" during money conversations • Why April feels micromanaged and hides purchases • The emotional pressure April uses to get what she wants • The significant disparity in their net worth despite April's higher income • Why April initially doesn't see a problem with her spending habits • The uncomfortable truth about April treating money like she's still poor • How April's family history of money management influences her • The shocking revelation about generational money patterns • Why April's daughter is following a similar financial dynamic • Ramit's direct challenge to April's “innocent doe” persona • Cre's struggle to set clear financial boundaries • How April reacts to Cre's direct financial expectations • Ramit's step-by-step plan for April to tackle debt and build savings Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:04:14) April's persistent questions about Cree's spending (00:07:49) The "granny and child" roles in their money talks (00:12:47) Why April fears marrying into debt (00:13:46) The core of their financial disagreement (00:23:05) A stark comparison of their financial numbers (00:26:08) April's disconnect from her serious financial situation (00:36:00) Cree’s secret side income and resourcefulness (00:40:00) April’s luxury basement renovation with zero savings (00:44:40) Unpacking April's extensive debt and spending habits (00:48:28) Generational money patterns in April's family (01:05:32) Cree's struggle to set clear financial boundaries (01:10:09) The pitfalls of "walking on eggshells" in a relationship This episode is brought to you by: LMNT | Get a free 8-count Sample Pack with any LMNT order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT [https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT] Factor | Go to https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF [https://factormeals.com/ramit50off] and use code RAMIT50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for 1 year ZocDoc | Go to https://zocdoc.com/ramit [https://zocdoc.com/ramit] to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored  Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com [https://leesa.com/] for 30% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit [https://joindeleteme.com/ramit] and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] Are you looking to retire in the next 5 years but wondering if you have enough saved? Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at iwt.com/apply [iwt.com/apply]

247. "We’re in our 40s — with nothing saved"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Stephanie and Chris, an early-40s couple with three young children, two of whom have special needs. Chris is a professor, and Stephanie, an RN, has recently cut back her hours due to burnout. Despite Chris’s confidence that “it’ll all work out,” their current financial situation is dire: 92% fixed costs, $544K in debt, and virtually no savings. Stephanie handles the books but feels dismissed when she raises concerns, while Chris struggles to listen and often interrupts. Ramit helps them uncover hidden money scripts, gender dynamics, and a profound lack of communication that has kept them stuck in an "avalanche of inaction" for years. Can they finally align on a concrete plan and connect meaningfully about money? In this episode we uncover: • The stark reality of 92% fixed costs and zero investments • How Chris’s “it’ll all work out” dismisses Stephanie’s worries • How their money conversations always end in gridlock • Why a wobbly kitchen sink reveals their deeper financial issues • The surprising cost of their kids’ swim lessons • How their combined salary still leaves them broke • The emotional toll of their financial situation on Stephanie • Chris's self-awareness about his "ignorant reassurer" role • How their money "inaction" has cost them hundreds of thousands • Why Stephanie feels unheard and Chris struggles to listen • The plan to drastically cut fixed costs and tackle debt • Why it’s time to stop making excuses and start taking action Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:04:47) Their repetitive money conversation (00:08:24) Chris's "natural reaction is to shut down" (00:10:40) "He's a buzzkill" (00:16:35) Breaking down their assets, debt, and net worth (00:22:04) Stephanie's emotional confession (00:24:00) Chris's desire to comfort without listening (00:48:47) The cost of their inaction on investments (00:56:56) How Chris can better support Stephanie (01:11:00) What true financial partnership looks like (01:12:00) Transforming their conscious spending plan (01:21:00) A path to a 60% fixed cost future This episode is brought to you by: Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit [https://meetfabric.com/ramit] Netsuite | Get the free guide “Demystifying AI” at https://netsuite.com/ramit [https://netsuite.com/ramit] Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit [https://facet.com/ramit] to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer expires March 31, 2026. #FacetAd   MasterClass | For unlimited access to every class and up to 50% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit [https://masterclass.com/ramit] Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: https://iwt.com/apply [https://iwt.com/apply]

246. "We’re drowning in debt, but bought another house"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Melissa and Tony, a couple who immigrated from Mexico with big dreams and an even bigger work ethic. In less than a decade, they've built a net worth of nearly $900,000. But beneath the surface of their impressive paper wealth, they’re carrying almost $1 million in debt and are completely misaligned on their financial goals. With their second child due any day, Ramit helps them uncover the root of their money woes, from differing money styles to the profound impact of their upbringing. Can they finally get on the same page, create a financial system that works, and build a sustainable rich life? In this episode we uncover: • How Melissa and Tony built a nearly $900K net worth in 8 years • The "rollercoaster" of their financial decision-making • Why their credit card debt is actually due to real estate • Tony’s “paycheck to paycheck” feeling with a $189k household income • Melissa’s childhood money lessons from her dad, Mr. No • How they navigate financial planning with a baby due this month • Why they avoid combining their high incomes • The cultural influences shaping their financial narratives • What happens when Tony is “comfortable” and avoids change • The deeper reasons behind their ongoing money disagreements • Ramit’s advice on how to communicate about money effectively • A surprising agreement that might change their future Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:02:28) Their chaotic financial situation (00:07:07) Melissa and Tony’s real estate struggles (00:13:07) Melissa's real estate ambitions vs. Tony’s pessimism (00:20:58) The cycles of making and losing money (00:26:59) The ineffective communication about debt (00:33:57) The danger of making emotional money decisions (00:37:35) Diving deep into their income and debt (00:46:01) Their unspoken rules about money and spending (00:51:56) The painful truth behind being "house poor" (01:00:43) Impact of childhood money lessons on their current finances (01:10:29) The parent-child dynamic in their financial relationship   This episode is brought to you by: Superhuman | Turn your inbox into momentum. Sign up at https://superhuman.com/ramit [https://superhuman.com/ramit]. ZocDoc | Go to https://zocdoc.com/ramit [https://zocdoc.com/ramit] to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored  DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit [https://joindeleteme.com/ramit] and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit [https://trustandwill.com/ramit] and get 10% off plus free shipping Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit [https://joingelt.com/ramit]. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples [https://iwt.com/moneyforcouples] • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  [https://iwt.com/moneycoaching] • Download the Conscious Spending Plan [https://iwt.com/csp] • Listen to my book—now on Audible [https://amzn.to/48zko28] • Get my New York Times best-selling book [https://amzn.to/3HGwbkK] • Get my no-numbers journal [https://amzn.to/3j6Tmuf] • Other episodes [https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/] • Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/moneyforcouples] • Twitter [https://twitter.com/ramit] • YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/user/ramitsethi/featured] If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: https://iwt.com/apply [https://iwt.com/apply]