#11 Haircuts, consent, and the grammar of getting things done

#11 Haircuts, consent, and the grammar of getting things done

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life, a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge, a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Kinoko's new hairstyle, cut by a friend during a camping trip on a deserted (uninhabited) island, including the difference between "desert" and "deserted." * The social pressure on women (especially Asian women) to have long, black, sleek hair, and how cutting her hair short is a form of activism. * Why friends hesitate to cut each other's hair: it can be seen as invasive, violent, or a form of punishment (bullying, shaving heads as discipline). * The word "fringe" – both for hairstyle (bangs) and for something outside the mainstream, weird, or questionable. * The balance between boundaries and autonomy versus the reality that some invasiveness is part of life, and how cutting hair can be an act of trust and leeway. * Grammar focus: the "have object passive" construction (I had my hair cut by my friends), contrasting it with regular passive sentences. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: ⁠https://x.com/kinoko1027⁠ [https://x.com/kinoko1027] * Kinoko-san’s blog: ⁠https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/⁠ [https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/] * Her book: ⁠https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA⁠ [https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA] * Her interview: ⁠https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 [https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196]

#10 Overwhelmed, obligations, and dreaming of Thailand

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life, a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge, a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Masaki’s restaurant gas tank running out, the difference between piped gas and tank gas, and what “full-fledged restaurant” means. * Kinoko’s exhausting move to the new sharehouse, dealing with old furniture, and the concept of a “not-to-do list” to avoid being overwhelmed. * The word “overwhelmed” (too many tasks, feeling flooded) and the importance of taking a “chill pill” – intentionally scheduling rest. * Kinoko’s upcoming camping trip in Wakayama to do nothing, listen to the sound of waves (shiosai), and relax. * The difference between tasks, appointments, and “obligations” (things you have to do but don’t necessarily enjoy, like social or family duties). * Dream retirement destinations: Kinoko would choose Thailand (Chiang Mai), where many retired white people (farang) live a slow life. Masaki is curious about Greece and Egypt. * Masaki renewing his passport after eight years to visit a sick friend in the US, and his partner’s dislike of international travel. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: https://x.com/kinoko1027 [https://x.com/kinoko1027] * Kinoko-san’s blog: https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/ [https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/] * Her book: https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA [https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA] * Her interview: https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 [https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196]

#9 A new sharehouse, a packed schedule, and learning to take a chill pill

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life, a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge, a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Kinoko’s frantic search for a new sharehouse, signing a contract without seeing it first due to high demand, and the rent being almost twice as expensive as her current place. * The new sharehouse’s location near Minowa and the largest red-light district in Japan, and her call for new residents (queer-friendly, foreigner-friendly, safe). * Masaki’s past experience with random roommates in Chicago and the serendipity of forming meaningful friendships with progressive, interesting people. * The idea that “you are the average of the five people you’re closest to,” and how outliers (like Kinoko) pull your average in interesting directions. * Kinoko’s overwhelmingly busy May: forming her own company, moving into the new sharehouse, trips to Fukuoka, Wakayama (camping), and Okinawa (campaign), leaving her exhausted and in need of rest. * The phrase “take a chill pill” and the importance of intentionally scheduling rest and relaxation as a task. * Sedentary lifestyles, standing out in a Japanese work environment, and the reluctance to stretch at work because “no one else does it.” Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: https://x.com/kinoko1027 [https://x.com/kinoko1027] * Kinoko-san’s blog: https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/ [https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/] * Her book: https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA [https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA] * Her interview: https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 [https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196]

#8 - Fire breathing, sharehouse dreams, and building our own safety nets

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life, a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge, a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Kinoko’s three-day fire performance workshop in Gunma, including fire eating, fire breathing, vapor tricks, contact staff, sword fighting, and a burnout competition, with about 100 participants and top performers from Japan. * The physical exhaustion from the workshop and the mental exhaustion from searching for a new house to use as a sharehouse, including the possibility of buying a property and starting a proper business (with all the dreaded paperwork). * Language tips: avoiding jargon by paraphrasing (e.g., “monolingual” → “speak only one language”), and the usage of “twice as big” vs. “twice bigger.” * Masaki’s restaurant business growth, the consideration of forming a company for tax reasons, and the frustration of tax money funding wars and being invested in Israeli companies via pension funds. * The idea of peer-supported alternatives: microfinance systems used by Zainichi Koreans, a proposed queer event transportation reimbursement system, and an “activism scholarship” to help people attend events outside major cities. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: https://x.com/kinoko1027 [https://x.com/kinoko1027] * Kinoko-san’s blog: https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/ [https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/] * Her book: https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA [https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA] * Her interview: https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 [https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196]

#7 - Aid tickets, Burning Man, and the gift economy

Kinoko is one of my ESL students and the author of I Have Two Partners: Living the Polyamorous Life, a ground-breaking book in Japanese about polyamory, as well as the organizer of Poly Lounge, a series of events for polyamorous and questioning people and allies. We publish archived videos of our lessons as a podcast. Today, our conversation covered the following topics: * Kinoko’s excitement about receiving a ticket to Burning Man through the aid ticket program for people with lower income (under 5 million yen), and how many Japanese people are eligible. * The application process: explaining why you can’t afford a regular ticket (which costs around $650), providing tax papers as proof of income, and describing what you can contribute to the community (cleaning, cooking, kinbaku, pole dance, etc.). * Kinoko’s personal situation: being neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, and how having a stable, sufficient income is difficult in Japan. * What Burning Man is: a week-long camping festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert with about 70,000 participants, where people build a temporary village and burn a large wooden statue (”the man”) and a temple on the last day. * The no-money rule inside Burning Man: a social experiment where participants exchange gifts, skills, or help instead of using cash. Water can be pre-purchased with a water ticket, but food and drinks are given freely by other participants. * The importance of consent in all exchanges, and the presence of sheriffs and police to handle any violence or crime. Tip: Turn on the automatic transcript feature if you’d like to read along. Connect with Kinoko-san * Kinoko-san’s X: https://x.com/kinoko1027 [https://x.com/kinoko1027] * Kinoko-san’s blog: https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/ [https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/] * Her book: https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA [https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA] * Her interview: https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 [https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196]