15 Minutes of Fame

Danny McBride's G.I. Joe Reboot Is a Suspense Thriller

Danny McBride — the man behind Kenny Powers and the Gemstones — has turned in a full G.I. Joe reboot script for Paramount, and it's a paranoid suspense thriller, not a comedy. He's basing it on a deep-cut animated two-parter where an entire suburb turns out to be a Cobra front. Penny digs into how a superfan with a drawer full of action figures ended up as the franchise's best shot at a pulse.

Sabrina Carpenter stalker arrested released same day returned next morning

A man was arrested for trying to force his way into Sabrina Carpenter's home, released within 24 hours, and was back parked outside her gate the next morning telling security he was "just chilling." He returned again the day after that, and LAPD showed up, made contact, and left without arresting him. The only charge on the books is still misdemeanor trespass, and nobody is asking loudly enough how he found her address in the first place.

Tupac wrongful death lawsuit uses Keefe D memoir and Netflix claims as evidence

Almost 30 years after Tupac's murder, his stepbrother just filed a wrongful death lawsuit against Keefe D and up to 100 unnamed co-conspirators who allegedly helped plan or finance the killing. This isn't the family waiting on the criminal trial—they're launching their own investigation with subpoena power, using everything from Keefe D's own memoir confessions to recent Netflix documentary claims about who allegedly paid for the hit. The discovery process could finally expose everyone involved in hip-hop's most infamous unsolved murder, and the Shakur family is making it clear they're coming for all of them.

Meta Guilty Twice Stock Still Soars

Two juries just found Meta guilty in back-to-back trials for knowingly letting predators target kids and designing deliberately addictive features that wrecked a young woman's brain—375 million in New Mexico, 3 million in California. Meta's stock went up five percent after the verdicts because apparently that's pocket change when you're worth 1.5 trillion dollars. But here's the thing that should terrify Silicon Valley: these are the first two wins out of thousands of similar cases coming this year, and courts are finally holding Big Tech accountable for the algorithms and design choices, not just user content.

Kai Cenat Wallpapers Villa With Every Hate Comment

Kai Cenat literally printed out every hate comment about his fashion dreams and wallpapered a room in his Italian villa with them while learning to sew denim in a 600-year-old building. The most-subscribed Twitch streamer in history faked quitting in January to launch Vivet, a clothing brand that currently exists as just a journal waitlist, Future's Instagram cosign, and one very unhinged motivational wall. He's trading guaranteed streaming money to study fashion design abroad while admitting he started reading daily because he felt too insecure about how he speaks to be taken seriously in arguments.