Episode 9: My Owner Beats Me

Episode 10 - The Average Length of a Man

We finally hit record again and immediately derail into Halloween chaos, Christmas lights, the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, dyslexia, British lit trauma and the eternal question: what is the actual average height and, uh, you know. It's peak Absinthe Fathers energy — dumb quizzes, sincere dad-life and bits that go way too far and somehow land anyway.

Episode 9: My Owner Beats Me

Andy gifts Kyle a children’s book with a very unfortunate title — “My Owner Beats Me” — and what follows is an unhinged, dramatic reading of a not-so-innocent dog story. From colon cleanse disasters to grocery shopping meltdowns, allergic cats and kids’ side hustles, the guys spiral into a mix of bodily regrets, domestic chaos and nostalgic dad talk.   Plus, they try (and fail) to call their friend Cameron on his birthday, reminisce about Bo Burnham’s Inside and plot Andy’s midlife drift-car phase. It’s another wild, too-honest night with the Absinthe Fathers.

Episode 8: Jordan Plugs His Butt

Streamer chaos meets dad-life confessions. Andy and Kyle welcome their internet-degenerate friend Jordan for a rapid-fire hang about Twitch culture (subs vs. bits, “F***ed Up Friday,” Rocket League humbling), the cursed “six seven” meme invading elementary schools, and whether spanking actually works (spoiler: no). We also get Andy’s unbelievable armored-car “marksmanship” story and a P. Diddy trivia game that goes completely off the rails. It’s unfiltered, funny, occasionally heartfelt, and very… Absinthe Fathers. Guest: Jordan — nightly Twitch streamer and Rocket League masochist. Check him out at twitch.tv/jrdnnofficial

Episode 7: Kyle Gets Married

Kyle is officially a married man—and the Absinthe Fathers have stories. From wedding speeches gone off the rails (including a fake ChatGPT-written bit) to ring talk, tattoos, roasts that never happened, and a few surprises at the reception, Andy and Kyle break down the chaos and comedy of the big day. Plus: Jordan passes out, Cameron stirs drama with the wedding coordinator, and the guys debate who would win a hot dog sprint—Usain Bolt or Joey Chestnut. This is one of the tamest episodes yet… but that’s not saying much.

Episode 6 Part Two: The Penis Transplant List

In this wild continuation, Andy and Kyle are joined again by the Nickster and Gay Cameron for Episode 6, Part Two of Absinthe Fathers. The crew rewinds to 2016 to tell the story of how a Trump rally led to front-row seats, signed merch and one unforgettable handshake. From political chaos to the bizarre reality of a "penis transplant list," the conversation swerves between outrageous confessions, relationship dynamics, late-night philosophizing and the kind of unfiltered banter you've come to expect. If you thought Part One was off the rails, buckle up — this one goes all the way.