Your Present Self, the One at the Wheel—Why Real Self-Care Isn't Being Easy on Yourself

Your Present Self, the One at the Wheel—Why Real Self-Care Isn't Being Easy on Yourself

Why does self-care so often leave us weaker instead of stronger? In this episode, I explore the difference between genuine self-care and permissiveness in disguise—and why the relationship with your Present Self [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/blog/your-present-self] is the one your entire life turns on. This is the second episode in my series on the three relationships that shape your life [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/blog/the-3-relationships-that-shape-your-life]: your Past Self [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/blog/your-past-self], your Present Self, and your Future Self. Last week, I made peace with my Past Self—the one who got me here but can't get me there. Today I turn to the only Self with her hands actually on the steering wheel. For years, I thought I was being kind to myself by being easy on myself. Skip the workout, zone out with Netflix, put off the hard conversation. I called it self-care and listening to my body. It was neither. It was self-sabotage wearing a self-care costume—and it made me smaller, more anxious, and less able to trust myself. In this episode, I share what changed everything: learning to parent myself the way the best parents raise their children—with high standards and deep warmth, held at the same time. Not indulgence. Not the inner drill sergeant. The harder, more loving middle path. I talk about: Why a self you only ever indulge is a self you secretly don't respect. The three parenting styles—permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative—and how we swing between the first two with ourselves our whole lives, mistaking the swing for self-improvement. What self-discipline rooted in self-compassion actually looks like day to day. My practice of winning the moment in front of you—why being present is where all real personal growth happens. And the one question that changes everything: what do I need, even if it's not what I want? If you've ever burned out on your own harshness, or grown restless with your own comfort, this episode is for you. Ready to find out which area of your life needs your attention first? Take the Life Audit [https://lifeaudit.carolynmahboubi.com/]—my free 10-minute assessment that gives you a clear picture of which area of your life is quietly draining everything else, and exactly where to focus first. Once you complete the audit, I'll share with you three handpicked reads from my journal (or you can listen to their audio versions)—chosen specifically for the area that needs your attention the most at this time. Click here to start. [https://lifeaudit.carolynmahboubi.com/]

Your Past Self, the Unreliable Narrator

For a long time, I wasn't just annoyed by my Past Self, I was at war with her. She replayed my worst moments on a loop, kept a meticulous file on every decision I got wrong, and conveniently lost the paperwork on everything I got right. In this episode, I talk about what changed that. Why most of what we call regret is really just forgetting the trade-off we made at the time. Why our minds are wired to hold onto threat and delete the thousand ordinary days that went fine. And why forgiving my Past Self, not defeating her, turned her from a prosecutor into a witness. I also share a note from a client that I've read more times than I can count, and the one question that can end regret for good. This is the second post [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/blog/the-3-relationships-that-shape-your-life] in a series on the three relationships that shape our life: our Past Self, Present Self, and Future Self. If you've been at war with your own Past Self, this one's for you. Which regret are you ready to forgive? Send me a message on my website [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/contact] or DM me [https://www.instagram.com/carolynmahboubi_coach]. I read every single one. If you are someone who wants to be part of a powerful community devoted to self-mastery and growth, sign up for my weekly emails ↓ 👉 ⁠⁠https://www.carolynmahboubi.com [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com]

The Three Relationships That Shape Your Life

Most of us think of relationships as something external—with our partners, our families, our colleagues. And yes, those matter. But the relationships that shape everything else? They're the ones we have with ourselves. In this episode, I'm talking about the three selves each of us carries—our Past Self, Present Self, and Future Self—and why building a healthy relationship with each one is the real work of lasting happiness. I share what it took for me to stop letting my Past Self torture me with regret, how I learned to parent my Present Self with both firmness and warmth, and how a single question from my coach almost two decades ago completely changed how I relate to my Future Self. This is the first in a series of three episodes where I go deep into each relationship, one at a time. Before the next one drops, I want to leave you with one question: which of your three selves have you been neglecting? Send me a message [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/contact] on the website or DM me [https://www.instagram.com/carolynmahboubi_coach]—I read every response, and your answer will shape what I share next. ********** Website: https://www.carolynmahboubi.com [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com] Instagram: @carolynmahboubi⁠_coach [https://www.instagram.com/carolynmahboubi_coach]⁠ If you are someone who wants to be part of a powerful community devoted to self-mastery and growth, sign up for my weekly emails ↓ 👉 ⁠⁠https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/join⁠⁠ [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/join⁠⁠]

Before You Hire a Life Coach, Listen to This — Part 2

After last week's episode where I covered the top five questions I get from people considering working with a professional coach, my inbox lit up with even more questions — different ones. So this week, I'm dedicating the entire episode to those. I'm covering four questions that came in from listeners just like you: The first one is one I get more than you might think — can you work with a coach and a therapist at the same time? The short answer is yes, and I'll tell you exactly why I think they are the power couple of personal transformation and how they work together, not against each other. The second question is about timing — how do you know when coaching is complete? My answer might surprise you, because I don't actually think of coaching as something you finish. Third, I'm addressing confidentiality — what's protected, what isn't, and the one exception I'm transparent about in my own practice. And finally, the question everyone is thinking but not always asking — how much does a really good coach charge? I'll tell you why elite coaches don't charge by the hour, and why dividing their fee into hourly chunks is doing yourself a disservice. If you've ever been curious about coaching — what it is, how it works, how long it takes, and what it actually costs — this episode is for you. Read the full blog post: ⁠https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/blog/what-to-expect-from-life-coaching [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/blog/what-to-expect-from-life-coaching] Instagram: ⁠⁠@carolynmahboubi⁠_coach [https://www.instagram.com/carolynmahboubi_coach]⁠ If you are someone who wants to be part of a powerful community devoted to self-mastery and growth, sign up for my weekly emails ↓ 👉 ⁠⁠https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/join [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/join]⁠⁠

Before You Hire a Life Coach, Listen to This

Your biggest questions about life coaching — answered honestly. The coaching industry has a problem: no gatekeepers, no universal standards, and almost no barriers to entry. Anyone can call themselves a coach. That makes finding the right one genuinely hard — especially if you've already been burned or you're not sure where to start. In this episode, I'm answering the five questions I hear most from prospective clients, skeptics, and people who want real help but don't know who to trust. How do you find a reputable life coach? What should you actually look for? Can coaching help your career? What does leadership coaching even do? ********** Read the full blog post: ⁠https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/blog/how-to-find-a-reputable-life-coach [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/blog/how-to-find-a-reputable-life-coach] Instagram: ⁠⁠@carolynmahboubi⁠_coach⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/carolynmahboubi_coach] If you are someone who wants to be part of a powerful community devoted to self-mastery and growth, sign up for my weekly emails ↓ 👉 ⁠⁠https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/join [https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/join]⁠⁠