Ambitious Dads

From Hollywood to Humble Parenting: Randy Spelling on Raising Teenage Daughters with Curiosity and Grace

Former actor Randy Spelling [https://randyspelling.com] opens up about the realities of parenting two teenage daughters while navigating his own transformation from addiction to authentic fatherhood. In this honest conversation, Randy shares practical wisdom on listening versus solving, embracing failure as a teaching tool, and how his past mistakes became the foundation for deeper connections with his kids. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: [00:01:27] - Updating Your Vision of Your Kids * Randy discusses the challenge of relating to daughters as they grow and change * Key quote: "There are still parts of her brain that are not online yet. There are still synaptic connections that physiologically are not there putting things together." [00:03:35] - Listening vs. Solving: The Dad Dilemma * Explores how men's natural problem-solving instincts can interfere with emotional connection * Key quote: "Get really curious about the being in front of you... How can I see them and meet them where they're at?" [00:07:53] - Managing Morning Moods Without Taking It Personally * Randy shares how he handles his daughter's grumpiness by changing his own energy first * Key quote: "This has nothing to do with you. Just get curious or just be there. Just hold space." [00:10:28] - Sharing Your Past Mistakes with Kids * Discussion on age-appropriate honesty about personal struggles and addiction * Key quote: "I had to trust that my relationship was strong enough and close enough that they see me now I can share my past." [00:19:27] - Encouraging Failure as a Learning Tool * How to reframe failure as experimentation and growth opportunities * Key quote: "Failures are catalysts... you have to try something and have it not work out to know what you need to change." [00:22:18] - The Shame Cycle of Parental Mistakes * Randy shares personal examples of everyday mistakes and internal shame dialogue * Key quote: "You made a mistake. You did the best that you could... This says nothing about your character." [00:34:19] - Co-Parenting Through Different Perspectives * Navigating different parenting styles and finding middle ground through shared values * Key quote: "The sweet spot is where can you agree and come to the middle based off of values?" KEY TAKEAWAYS: 1. Curiosity and genuine listening are more powerful than trying to solve every problem your kids present. 2. Age-appropriate honesty about your past mistakes can strengthen rather than weaken your relationship with your children. 3. Encouraging failure and reframing it as learning helps build resilience in kids. 4. Managing your own emotional state directly impacts your children's energy and responses. 5. Co-parenting works best when you focus on shared values rather than rigid rules. 6. Self-compassion modeling teaches children how to treat themselves when they make mistakes. On June 17th, I’m hosting a free, live workshop, Become a Better Leader By Becoming a Better Dad, for fathers who are tired of living a divided life. We’ll explore how “Default Dad” shows up when you’re tired, overloaded, or distracted, and how those same patterns affect your leadership at home and at work. Register here: https://www.ambitiousdads.com/better-dad-better-leader [https://www.ambitiousdads.com/better-dad-better-leader?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com Subscribe on: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

Building Legacy Through Intentional Fatherhood with Brandon Harrison

Brandon Harrison, CEO and father of three, shares his journey of intentional parenting after losing his father at 63. From managing three kids four years apart to taking solo cruises for self-care, Brandon offers honest insights on emotional regulation, mentorship, and building a lasting legacy as a father. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: [00:02:06] - Managing Three Different Personalities * Discussion on parenting three children who are four years apart with completely different needs * Key quote: "My big word for myself is intentionality. I'm really focused on acknowledging their differences and really focusing on that." [00:04:28] - Individual Time with Each Child * Brandon explains his approach to one-on-one time, including zoo dates with his daughter and community walks with his middle son * Key quote: "I don't just say, okay, everybody, let's go to the zoo, because our oldest son doesn't like that anymore." [00:09:37] - Self-Care and Solo Retreats * How Brandon and his wife prioritize individual time off, including solo cruises and personal activities * Key quote: "I'm going on two solo cruises this year. My wife and I just started that a few years ago and we realized that we both have a lot going on." [00:17:39] - Impact of Losing His Father * Brandon shares how his father's sudden death at 63 transformed his approach to fatherhood * Key quote: "That really changed my thinking of fatherhood, of like, okay, I need to make sure that I'm learning from older fathers, but I'm so intentional with my kids because I never know how long I have." [00:22:03] - Breaking Generational Patterns * Discussion on helping other fathers overcome father wounds and develop emotional vulnerability * Key quote: "You've got to force yourself to express to your spouse what you're actually feeling." [00:28:28] - Learning Emotional Regulation as a Young Father * Brandon's honest account of becoming a father at 22 and learning to manage emotions through parenting * Key quote: "I'm still growing into being better at that. Honestly, I have not mastered that part of my emotions." [00:35:36] - Current Fatherhood Concerns * What keeps Brandon up at night: friend influences, college preparation, and preparing kids for an uncertain future * Key quote: "I only have two more years left with this oldest. And I'm like, I feel like I'm not as far along as I want to be with him." [00:39:15] - Legacy Over Money * Brandon's reflection on what kind of legacy he wants to leave as a father beyond financial provision * Key quote: "I really want to leave a legacy for my children, not just money... really what you leave in them as people." KEY TAKEAWAYS: 1. Intentionality is the key difference between good and great fatherhood - actively adapting to each child's unique needs and developmental stage. 2. Self-care isn't selfish - both parents need individual time to recharge and maintain their identity outside of parenting. 3. Vulnerability and honest conversations with other fathers create stronger support networks and better parenting outcomes. 4. Losing a parent young can transform your approach to fatherhood, emphasizing presence over just provision. 5. Legacy is about the values and character you instill in your children, not just the financial security you provide. On June 17th, I’m hosting a free, live workshop, Become a Better Leader By Becoming a Better Dad, for fathers who are tired of living a divided life. We’ll explore how “Default Dad” shows up when you’re tired, overloaded, or distracted, and how those same patterns affect your leadership at home and at work. Register here: https://www.ambitiousdads.com/better-dad-better-leader [https://www.ambitiousdads.com/better-dad-better-leader?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com Subscribe on: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

Strategic Absence & Second Chances: A CFP's Journey Through Paternity Leave & Intentional Fatherhood

Mark Willis [https://www.linkedin.com/in/marklakegrowth], a certified financial planner and father of two, shares his experience taking paternity leave as a business owner while welcoming his second daughter 10 years after his first. He discusses the challenges of rebalancing family life, the power of strategic absence in both business and parenting, and how intentionality transforms the parenting experience. From financial wisdom for families to the messy realities of newborn life, this conversation offers practical insights for ambitious dads navigating work-life integration. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: [00:01:18] - Taking Paternity Leave as a Business Owner * Mark discusses the blessing and curse of naming your own time off as an entrepreneur * Key quote: "I don't really have the word retirement in my own vocabulary. To retire means to put out of service, and I don't want that for me" [00:04:59] - The Power of Strategic Absence * How stepping away from business and parenting can create growth and reduce anxiety * Key quote: "If you feel like you're the one that has to show up and tie everybody's shoes for the rest of their life, you're going to have a 30-year-old come over to your house every day asking, Hey, dad, can you still tie my shoes" [00:07:43] - Parenting Children of Different Ages * Managing the balance between pulling children toward your heart and letting them fly * Key quote: "Children are like a quiver of arrows... you put it in the bow and you pull it toward your heart, and then you have to let it go" [00:16:13] - Redefining Daily Rhythms with a Newborn * The challenge of losing structure and predictability when welcoming a new baby * Key quote: "The biggest thing that I have found in my life in these last three months has just been the reorientation of our daily cycle" [00:21:33] - Doing Parenthood Differently the Second Time * The importance of intentional preparation and treating parenting like a part-time job * Key quote: "The best gift you can give your child is another sibling" [00:24:23] - The Principle of Intentional Living * How being hard on yourself makes the world easier * Key quote: "If you're easy on yourself, the world is hard. If you're hard on yourself, the world is easy" [00:30:03] - Financial Planning for Families * Teaching children about money, entrepreneurship, and delayed gratification * Key quote: "You don't want to just prepare the money for the kids. You must prepare the kids for the money" [00:36:49] - Practical Savings Strategies * Starting small and gradually increasing savings rates over time * Key quote: "What if you're listening to this and you're feeling overwhelmed, 30% is way too much. Don't eat that elephant" KEY TAKEAWAYS: 1. Strategic absence in both business and parenting allows others to grow and reduces your anxiety. 2. Great dads are intentional - they plan, prepare, and treat parenting as seriously as their careers. 3. Financial health requires starting where you are and gradually increasing savings rates over time. 4. Different aged children require different expectations and consequences 5. The transition to multiple children requires intentional effort to maintain connection with your spouse. 6. Teaching children entrepreneurial thinking prepares them for an uncertain future. On June 17th, I’m hosting a free, live workshop, Become a Better Leader By Becoming a Better Dad, for fathers who are tired of living a divided life. We’ll explore how “Default Dad” shows up when you’re tired, overloaded, or distracted, and how those same patterns affect your leadership at home and at work. Register here: https://www.ambitiousdads.com/better-dad-better-leader [https://www.ambitiousdads.com/better-dad-better-leader?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com Subscribe on: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

From Fighting for Access to Fighting Less: A Dad's Journey Through Divorce and Redemption: Richard Resnick

Richard Resnick [https://www.linkedin.com/in/richardresnick] shares his raw and vulnerable journey as a divorced father fighting for access to his children. After years of court battles and emotional turmoil, he discovered that sometimes the best way to win is to stop fighting. This powerful conversation explores parental regret, the redefinition of providing, and how showing up consistently can rebuild even the most fractured relationships. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: [00:01:59] - The Early Years of Divorce * Richard discusses splitting from his former wife when kids were 3 and 1 years old * Seven years of court battles and hundreds of thousands in legal fees * Key quote: "The child's identity is simply sort of the summation of their judgments of their two parents. So in fighting like that, you are giving them an identity and it's not one that they asked for." [00:07:30] - The Game-Changing Advice * A court mediator's profound counsel that shifted everything * Learning that fighting less matters more than winning more time * Key quote: "It matters less how much time you have with the kids. It matters more that you and your former wife just stop fighting about anything and everything." [00:12:16] - The Mindset Shift * How Richard immediately embraced the counterintuitive advice * Dealing with criticism from supporters who felt he "gave up" * Key quote: "There is justice for these two little children. There is justice and here it is." [00:15:40] - Modern Parenting Anxieties * Concerns about launching adult children in today's uncertain economy * The broken promise of the American middle class playbook * Key quote: "What keeps me up is when I graduated from college in 1994, there was sort of pretty clear playbook for how to start... there's just so much uncertainty about that playbook now." [00:21:04] - Managing Parental Guilt and Ego * Compartmentalizing pain while staying committed to showing up * Reframing the struggle as a "righteous fight" rather than victimhood * Key quote: "I felt like I was fighting for fairness for the children to have access to their father, which I know was important." [00:25:54] - The Provider's Dilemma * Missing games and events while running a demanding company * His son going "dark" for months in response to dad's absence * Key quote: "You show up dudes, you show up, you just don't give up, you show up, you keep going, you keep asking, and we're back." [00:30:07] - The Impossible Middle * Balancing financial obligations with presence * The psychological ease of choosing work over painful family dynamics * Key quote: "I could spend more time with you if I chose to make less money, but I can't. I owe all these bills for you." [00:32:27] - Parental Regret as Fuel * Processing the reality that things could have been different * Using regret constructively to improve current relationships * Key quote: "You can walk around with that sadness, that regret, but if it helps you to do something positive... then maybe that regret is a fuel as well." On June 17th, I’m hosting a free, live workshop, Become a Better Leader By Becoming a Better Dad, for fathers who are tired of living a divided life. We’ll explore how “Default Dad” shows up when you’re tired, overloaded, or distracted, and how those same patterns affect your leadership at home and at work. Register here: https://www.ambitiousdads.com/better-dad-better-leader [https://www.ambitiousdads.com/better-dad-better-leader?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com Subscribe on: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

From Secret Service to Surrogacy: A Dad's Journey Through Grief, Growth, and Building Legacy: Cory Allen

Former Secret Service agent Corey Allen [https://www.coryallenbooks.com] opens up about his unconventional path to fatherhood through surrogacy, including the grief of miscarriages and the challenges of balancing work, family, and aging parents. He shares how becoming a dad transformed his patience, led him to write a children's book about travel, and taught him to embrace flexibility while building meaningful legacy for his children. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: [00:01:43] - The Surrogacy Journey * Discussion of 5-year fertility journey including cultural considerations and multiple setbacks * Key quote: "Nobody prepared us for the grief that came with having transfers... nobody prepared us for two miscarriages." [00:06:17] - Navigating Non-Biological Parenthood * How couples handle rejection and different parenting instincts when one parent isn't biological * Key quote: "We just have to do those check-ins... making sure we're checking in because it's not easy to witness or to experience." [00:09:40] - The Sandwich Generation Challenge * Managing elderly parents on both coasts while raising toddler and expecting second child * Key quote: "Something about the American baby boomer generation. Some of them just don't really have the ability to think beyond themselves." [00:14:13] - Writing "Data Takes a Trip" * Creating children's book to help explain work travel and maintain connection * Key quote: "I would love to have a book that explains dadada has to leave, but he'll be back. He loves you." [00:22:04] - Learning from Parenting Mistakes * Recognizing how children mirror our behaviors and the need for immediate change * Key quote: "I was fighting my own attributes... I was dealing with my own personality. He's got those attributes." [00:26:15] - Growing Patience as a Parent * Strategies for managing frustration and developing flexibility with toddler behavior * Key quote: "I have to literally take a deep breath, exhale purposefully. And that usually does it for me." [00:30:58] - Fears About Mortality and Legacy * Concerns about being present for children's milestones and creating lasting impact * Key quote: "I'm just worrying about that a lot... the kids are young and if I pass away tomorrow, they're not going to have those core memories." [00:38:05] - The Pull-Up Diaper Disaster * Humorous story about discovering pull-tab feature during messy diaper change * Key quote: "There is poo everywhere. I'm like, how are there no quick release on these stupid pull up diapers?" On June 17th, I’m hosting a free, live workshop, Become a Better Leader By Becoming a Better Dad, for fathers who are tired of living a divided life. We’ll explore how “Default Dad” shows up when you’re tired, overloaded, or distracted, and how those same patterns affect your leadership at home and at work. Register here: https://www.ambitiousdads.com/better-dad-better-leader [https://www.ambitiousdads.com/better-dad-better-leader?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com Subscribe on: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads