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12 Bawdy Christmas Poems

12 BAWDY CHRISTMAS POEMS Tonight we’re presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time. Listen to the Podcast [https://archive.org/download/winter-short-stories/12BawdyChristmasPoems.mp3] at Steamy Stories [https://feeds.feedburner.com/Steamy-Stories]. [https://archive.org/download/winter-short-stories/12BawdyChristmasPoems.jpg] THE BLACK KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. by  The Mad Splatter [http://literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=56363], recited by Sonia. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; My panties were hung on the bedpost with care, As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair. My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed, As visions of huge cock danced in my head; My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip, I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip. When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound, I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound; And naked away, to the window I dashed, Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash. The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold, Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But William, our black neighbor, who I’ve wanted all year, With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick, I knew in a moment I’d found my hard dick. While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came, As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name; “Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen! It’s time that you knew what you’ve always been missin’! From the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls I’ll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!” His words, they made my fantasies fly; And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs; And started to spread and rub my bare lips Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick. And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock, And knew at the front door awaited my cock. I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs, Hot for the stud who awaited me there. When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment; Entered the room and tore off my garment; And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch; My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match. The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth, His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath; I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry, And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry. Hearing my breathing had become quite quick He knew it was time to show me his prick. He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly, And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!” It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand; When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand; So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat; I straddled his cock and ground on his meat. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk, And sliding his finger inside of my ass, I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp. I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor, And licked the last drops of cum like a whore. And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good, oh, oh my God!!!” AND TO ALL A GOOD LAY. by  foehn [https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=447522&page=submissions]. Recited by Connor. ’Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers, my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!” You’d already laid down your stockings with care, and come to molest me in my easy chair. The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last, and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast, You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down, and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown. He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic, desiring our session of love to be drastic. Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft, you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft! By flickering firelight, its head disappeared, when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared, The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass, as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass. Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air, as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere. I took in the view with a wilting erection, and wondered “What’s wrong with our burglar detection?” Santa was hopping and howling in hurt; I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt, And taking the pot, knocking over my rum, I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum. The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed, to think that this Christmas, he well could have died; And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping, I couldn’t help think, that he shouldn’t be peeping. When I recognized the odd look on his face, I reminded him, he had invaded our space. “And now come to think of it, where are the toys? “Surely you’ve brought some, for our little boys.” I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket, to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.) He walked to the chimney, and reaching within, unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din. “Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?” He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing’s the matter,” and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong, he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong. He stashed the boys’ presents, all under the tree, and turning he gave me, a new DVD; there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case, and one of them seemed to be wearing your face! He gave a big wink, walked right out the door. I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor. where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare. beneath the big blanket, now covering you there. I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side; you were already giving, your new dong a ride! And what had gone limp from our rude interruption, now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention. I reached for your free hand and guided it where; it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air. and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!” HER NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. by Ug [https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=270814&page=submissions]. Recited by Natasha. Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. No creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were worn by the woman with care, She’d too much to drink, passed out on the chair. The woman who should have been snug in her bed, the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head. And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor, so drunk came she in, she’d forgotten the door. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger. To her door he did wander, and gave it a push, Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush. He spied a light on, in a room and did wander. looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder. Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair. This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair. He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake, but the young buxom woman, just wouldn’t awake. He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle. which didn’t awake her, but made her breasts tossle. The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver. decided to cup one, still she did not shiver. Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress. and finding her nipple, an interesting quest. He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh. and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high. Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin, to her panties and under, his fingers sank in. He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside. and with his free hand, then parted her thighs. And moving between, her legs he did shove. Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love. He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair, His dick found it’s way, through her pubic hair. and into her pussy, his dick did so slam. then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram. He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved. Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove. She still was asleep, unaware of the world, so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl. He pushed her legs back, up over her head, And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed. He started to grunt, whilst having his fun. Then into her belly, shot all of his cum. He held himself still, til catching his breath, and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left. He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress, and zipped himself up, though she was a mess. He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door, before looking round, til he finally swore. “Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn’t my home!”, then crept from the house, and left her alone. He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so, soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow. But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light, “Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!” T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. by LostNlove [https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=191170&page=submissions]. Recited by Emily. It was the night before Christmas; And all through my house. The Candles were glowing; And I was quite soused. The fire was warm; And so was the brandy. As I wrapped up the gifts; I was feeling quite randy. I sat in my nightie; Short silky and white. Hoping when Santa showed; He’d enjoy such a sight. Then top of the stairs; I heard a deep groan. It sounded familiar; I let out a moan. I turned round to see; And what do you know. There stood my Santa; His shaft in a bow. I saw that red ribbon; Round that cock so hard. And jumped off the couch; Without self regard. When he saw I was tipsy; He laughed and came down. I untied that bow; And wrapped my lips ‘round. Oh, what a present! I’m one happy wench. I sucked it then faster; my nipples he pinched. I rose to my feet; L and licking my lips. Then, held mistletoe; while he gave me a kiss. We moved to the couch Where he laid me back. And thrust in his cock; All the way to his sack. When my hips rocked he said; Oh You like that I see.” I said,“Yes all though better; On the floor on my knees.” “No problem my dear; Anything that you wish. But first come here; Give me one more kiss.” I kissed his lips softly; Then I got on the floor. He teased so I begged; “Santa please give me more.” He lifted my nightie; Up over my ass. As he gave it a slap; I let out a loud gasp. “I’ve watched you this year; You’re so naughty but nice.” He shoved it in deep saying, “Now, let’s do this twice!” I slammed back against him, As he slammed into me. I didn’t yet notice; Rug burns on my knees. I moaned and I came; my juices did flow. he pounded yet faster; deep as he could go. I came then again; and convulsed quite a bit. My fingers pressed hard; On my swollen clit. As I came I could feel; His dick start to swell. He smacked on my ass; And I let out a yell. “For when you were naughty, that will suffice. and now here is something; For when you’ve been nice.” He grabbed my hips tight, And his cock shot a pop. I soon came again; begging please do not stop. His dick throbbed and squirted; I thought I might scream. Oh the wonderful pleasure; Of Santa’s hot cream! We collapsed on the floor, His hands in my hair, Then asleep by the fire, Without any care. As he was leaving; Before the sunlight. “Oh my darling; You’re such a delight!” TWATS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. by  VeryHappyHubby [https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=155274&page=submissions]. Recited by Thomas. Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block; Nothing was stirring, except for my cock. Her panties were hung by the chimney with care, I had a good feeling she soon would be bare. I was horny and naked all snug in my bed, While visions of big boobs danced in my head. With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck, I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck. When out by the hearth there arose such a noise, It sounded like girls and could not be boys. Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude, We might have guests, I couldn’t be rude. Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow And gave my firm cock a good reason to grow; When, what should appear through my old reading glasses, But eight college girls, and their really firm asses, With little shy giggles, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment they wanted my dick. I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing, But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing; “I’m Dana I’m Heidi I’m Amber I’m Shelly! I’m Ali I’m Erin I’m Stephie I’m Nellie! From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,  They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!” There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match, My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch; So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds, I was anxious to learn who would first give me head; And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick, The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick. Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits, While each girl behind her all played with her clit. My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch, Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch; A sack full of toys she brought for the girls, It was full of vibrators with one made of pearls Their eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry! Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry! The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor, They pleasured each other, but all wanted more. Each girl took a turn and came over to me, They mounted my cock by the light of the tree. Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast, My biggest concern was how long I would last. Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet, I had fucked them all but I wasn’t done yet. With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast, My wife let me know that she would be next. They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick, and watched how it’s done, as my wife worked my dick. She lowered her pussy right onto my rod, We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad. Of all the pussies my wife’s was the best, My cock was now tired and needed a rest. With my wife still horny, and claiming it’s early, She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly. She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple, My smile was so big and showed off my dimple. She moved to their clits, and then one by one, Each girl did orgasm, until they were done. With evry girl limp and could take nothing more, They eventually dressed and went for the door. But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.” TINDER CHRISTMAS EVE. By Harry D Newhouse [https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=5283433&page=submissions]  Recited by Michelle. Twas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV. So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie. My kinky companion, was up for some fun. I sent him a message, to tell him he’d won. “Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone. No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone. I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick. I’ve been very naughty, so don’t make it quick. There’s a window unlocked, in the room at the back. It opens with ease, for you and your sack. I’m off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty. Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!” A mince pie and brandy were left on the table. Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you’re able!’ Well imagine my shock, when later that night. I’m rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight. My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear. ‘Santa’s here slut, and you’re going to pay dear.’ I struggled beneath him, but couldn’t get free. His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry. Was gagged by the stocking, I’d hung with such pride. Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side. My night dress was lifted, my body left bare. Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair. The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan. Spanked by a man, who’d invaded my home. By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore. If not for the stocking I’d be begging for more. Many strikes later, he decided to rise. I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs. It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there. Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair. ‘You’re such a bad girl, you deserve only coal. Now open your legs, and I’ll choose me a hole’. Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise. A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes. Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor. ‘Here’s Santa’s north pole, now take it you whore!’ His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered. ‘I’ll ruin you slut’, was all that he muttered. Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded. Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded. A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice. We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice. Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied. He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride. But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?’ I awoke the next morning, to signs that I’ve seen. A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass. And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass. Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen. Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen. I yet was astonished, on tinder to find. ‘Sorry I can’t make it, I hope you don’t mind’. Thus read the message, from my kinky friend. That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End. NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: PARODY. By Eurika [https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=977738&page=submissions]. Recited by Ryan. Twas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house’. Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse. Her stockings were flung on the end of the table, But I was alone watching porn over cable. I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock. To shoot my load in an old ragged sock. From the upstairs, came a noise so gay, I jumped from my chair,  seeking some randy play. I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door’. to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor. For a moment, arose such a hot burning, Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning. A little old man, she was sucking his dick. He was dressed in all red, Oh God it's Saint Nick. His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red. My wife was below him, and giving him head. She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught. I wasn't upset though. I thought it was hot! He said, "I have checked, I checked my list twice. She has been a bad girl, but you’ve been quite nice." I gave them a smile, and nodded my head, Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed. He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free, He turned her round so she, was looking at me. Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick, She moaned rather loudly, when he plunged his dick. At first he was slow, til she started to cum. He then fucked her hard, until she was done. He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack, And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back. He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, "Ho ho." He pulled up his pants, and started to go. "Thanks for the quickie, alas I must leave. It’ll be a long night, many more wives to see." Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy, we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy. We looked out the window, her pussy still wet. he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jet. I squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight. She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!" KAY’S CHRISTMAS WORSHIP. By drive me wilder [https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=879388&page=submissions]. Recited by Clara.   Twas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed. Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head. Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked, Giving him love, as they waited for Nick. Teasing his tip, then taking him deep. Both knew that this night, they'd not get much sleep. Laid out on his back, and watching her bob. His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob. It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit. She loves this good man, and she'll never quit. Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view. Her loving like this, is giving and true. Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke. Sometimes very deep, without any choke. Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball. He's one lucky man, tonight he stands tall. Picking the pace up, and starting to moan. There’s no stopping now, he’s in the hot zone. It's starting to build, there is no turning back. His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack. Rope after rope, His love juice explodes. And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads. And looking at him, with those loving eyes. His love for this woman, for her he would die. His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose, A squeeze of her tits, since they’re wearing no clothes. She closes her mouth, He knows what's to follow, One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows. She worships his cock, her love pole her toy. She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy. For now it's all over, his heart is in bliss. More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce. DONNA’S NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. By Gaurd [https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1035656&page=submissions]. Recited by Molly. 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. My stockings seductively, laid on the chair, In vain hope he'd take me, right then and there. But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed. While visions of fucking, danced in my head. Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap! Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter's nap. When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter. I sprang from the bed, to see what’s the matter. Despite my attire, to the window I flew. Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view. In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show. I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below. And what to my wondering, eyes could I see. But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me. I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick. But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick. More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame. He whistled and shouted, and called out my name! "Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid. Come on my vixen, don't try to look stupid. Come down to the porch! And open the door! Now dash and come down! I want to see more! With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain, I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain. Despite my frustration, I got back to bed. 'Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead! I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way. Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée. Then To my amazement, In trembling I found. The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound. He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe. Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show! Up I was bundled, and flung on my back. He open his suit, and showed me his sack. His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! It looked he'd already, been hard at the sherry! My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below. My best Christmas gift,  he presented to show. The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby. Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby. But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head. Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work. Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk. He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side. He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide! His gift was so large, I nearly had cried. I came more than once, from his big woody ride. And then out he pulled, and over my belly. He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly! He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear. And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer. And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away. "Merry Christmas Donna, you’re such a good lay!”   JOE'S NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. By Joe71 [https://www.lushstories.com/profile/joe71]. Narrated by Roger. T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house. Were strewn women's panties, some bras and a blouse. Silk stockings weren't hung from the chimney with care, But strewn them all over. Some here and some there! Assigned the night shift, I'd gotten quite surly. But a scheduling glitch, had sent me home early. “Martha I'm home!” I did almost bellow. But I paused as I spied, satin panties of yellow? Who wears that color? I confusedly wondered. If Not my wife's, What betrayal have I blundered? Who's she been fucking? Do I dare even know? I presently trembled, to turn and just go. When from the big bedroom, there arose such a squealing. Passionate whines, to my instincts appealing. If she's with a man, tis such an affront! But I'm pleased if she's sucking, not cock, but a cunt? I spoke not a word, down the hallway I crept. On Toward the bedchamber, where we normally slept. The moans of delight, grew louder and louder. From the room where last night, I'd thoroughly plowed her. The sight that appeared, to my eyes made me shocked. When I burst in and found her, with 2 friends defrocked! Surely my entry, made Martha most ruffled, With a cunt in her face, her outcry was muffled. "Oh shit!" did they scream, as they covered themselves, My grinning wife blurted, "Joe Meet my good elves! "I'm preparing your gift, Darling husband so true, "Merry Christmas, Joe! I've aroused them for you!" “Our Money's been short, I had to be thrift. That drove me to fashion, this wonderful gift?” More likely quick thinking, when caught in the act! But the outcome is what, really matters, in fact. And thusly resolved, this scenario dicey, We indulged to acts, sweet salty and spicy! The first step as we four, converged to all kiss, Then led to depraved, and deplorable bliss. I sampled all after, of course my good wife. They made it the very, best time of my life! Every hole was well filled, every pussy was eaten, And when we were done, my pecker, most beaten. May Christmas be filled with, so many delights, Be Merry this Christmas, and to all a good night, And give her such pleasures, With earnest ambition. And she'll want to make it, a yearly tradition. ALL SNUG, NUDE IN BED. Based on a post by ImaSeductress [https://www.lushstories.com/profile/ImaSeductress]; narrated by Jenny. Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house. not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. The garters were hung, by the chimney with care, with hopes that Santa, is a horny ole bear. I was horny and restless, stripped nude in my bed, while visions of orgasms, danced in my head. George in his kerchief, and I in the buff, was so fucking horny, I just couldn't get enough! When out on the lawn, there rose such a clatter. I sprung from my bed to see what was the matter. Streaking to the window, I threw up the sash, feeling so cheerful, I gave him a flash. The moon on my tits, cast an erotic glow, giving new luster, to my wetness below. And what to my wondering eyes should appear, his twelve inch poked outward, His cumming was near! A shirtless sleigh driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment, I needed his dick! To the front door I flew, lest he already came, He whistled and entered, then called me by name. His chaps all in leather, His crotch was commando. The phallus he sported, I grabbed as a handle. A bundle of goodies, he dropped from his back, He fondled my cunny, and played with my rack. I laid on the table, and worked up my twerk, he aimed like a pro, and slammed in one jerk. He pounded and pushed, for nearly an hour. I sweated so hard, I needed a shower. He kissed me goodbye, to his reindeer gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle. I heard him say, as he drove out of sight. Happy Orgasms to all, and to all a good night! A VISIT FROM ST. NICHOLAS (THE NAUGHTY VERSION) Based on a post by Nisha's World [https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/a-visit-from-st-nicholas-the-naughty-version]. Narrated by Ava. Twas the night before Christmas, and stripped to the buff; We fucked like rabbits, I'd sucked him enough. My stockings were strewn, on the back of a chair, And my legs were akimbo, both feet in the air. My husband was fucking me hard on the bed. “I'm cumming! I'm cumming!” he finally said. He finished inside, with a moan, then a grunt, and Passed out before, I came, What a cuck! I was still feeling horny, and down on my luck, When a noise outside, made me say, “What the fuck!” Away to the shutter, I flew like a flash, Our juices still wet, in my cock-hungry gash. I opened the window, peered out in the snow, And focused my gaze, on the garden below, When what to my wondering, eyes did appear, But a fucking great sleigh, and eight randy reindeer! The driver wolf-whistled, and flashed me his dick, And I knew in a moment, it's naughty St. Nick! Soon the sleigh stopped, the amorous deer; Started rutting; each buck, humped a doe from the rear. First Dasher and Dancer, humped Prancer and Vixen, Then Comet and Cupid, screwed Donner and Blitzen! On the top of the bench! On the top of the wall! There;s no way to stop them, no method at all! As deer-spunk and juices, bespattered the lawn, Yes, I'd be cleaning up, cum in the dawn. Then, back to the sleigh, the reindeer they stepped; While Nick jumped in, Good timing he kept. I gathered the boxes, “John, this one's for you!” Nick left us sex toys, and Viagra too!” Our apologies to Clement Clarke Moore for these versions of his classic poem.

Twas a Perv Christmas

TWAS A PERV CHRISTMAS. CHRISTMAS EVE WITH YOUR FAVORITE, KINKY, PERVERTED FAMILY. (2 POEMS) Based on a post by Sancho Hardbottle [https://www.lushstories.com/profile/SanchoHardbottle]. Listen to the Podcast [https://archive.org/download/steamy-winter-2026/TwasAPervChristmas.mp3] at Steamy Stories [https://feeds.feedburner.com/steamy-stories]. [https://archive.org/download/steamy-winter-2026/TwasAPervChristmas.jpg] Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the dwelling. Not a creature was stirring, 'cept my cock, which was swelling; From walls hung portraits, setting the mood, Above the mantel hung Grandma, She posed fullly nude; Down the hall, on her bed, Coed stepsister did sit, A vibrating dildo, rubbed on her hard clit; Stepmom in panties, and I in the nude. Had just readied our loins, before getting screwed. When from outside the window, there arose such a cry, My head darted up, from stepmom’s wet thigh; Jen's eyes got so wide, as we both turned to see, Just what sort of Christmas, the visit might be; The moonbeams bounced off, the snow all so white, I blinked as I tried to, make sure of my sight, What did I see, that gave me such pause? It was the round, jolly face, of old Santa Clause! Framed in the window, red cheeks and a beard, When in through the doorway, Buxy Susan appeared; I opened the window, we pulled him within, Jenny glanced at her daughter, then said with a grin: “Santa! We're busy, You're spying, You creep! I’m riding my stepson, and you try to peep! That’s awfully spotty, for man such as you! I wonder what naughty, kinky perversions you do! Now please come on in, and join the fun, We’ll be on the nice list, when finally done!” Quick as the devil, Jen's down on her knees, Tugging his Pants off, as fast as she please, The Sled Musher looked down, his eyes wide with shock, When out of his britches, popped his massive cock, She started to suck him, with skills of a pro, And Santa exclaimed, “Sue, Your Mom's a Ho!” My stepsister laughed, as she fell to Jen’s side, She opened her mouth, took both ball's inside, Her tongue lapped and writhed, his scrotum with care, As Jen bobbed on his shaft, and came up for air, She said, “I’ve taught her well, don’t you think St. Nick? Watching her lick you, gets my pussy all slick.” They sprung to their feet, and got back in bed, “Why don’t you fuck her, while Billy gives me head?” Susan then beamed, and she squealed with delight, then spread her legs and cried, “hurry down my chimney tonight!” And taking my cue, I crawled to Jen’s bits, my tongue, ran up through it, from the crack to the slit, Santa rushed forward, his hard swollen tip, And rubbed it on Susan's, soft, shaven lips; As he pushed it inside, Susan’s ass gave a leap, He was all the way in her, rigid hard and balls deep; Watching her daughter, Jen gave a moan, My tongue pushed down firmly, her clit hard as a bone; Susan writhed on the mattress, her feet in the air, While Santa Clause thrusted, Jen gripped on my hair; At once her back arched, and her toes they did curl, My sister shouted, “Don't stop! I'm Cumming!” while I sucked Jenny's Pearl; Jen pushed my face up, my chin wet with juice, And she said, “My turn! Santa, put my twat to good use!” Her lips stuck out, from under her ass, Santa slid out of Susan, said, “Awe! There’s a good lass!” He went behind Jenny, and in her he plowed, His log hit her g-spot, she cried out aloud; Still horny myself, ”Stepsis, want some more?” Got on her knees and said, “Billy, make me a whore!” Sue knelt before Jenny, I poked in her cunt, Jen groaned as I panted, and I heard Santa grunt; He pulled on Jen's hair, Mom’s face all a glow, I pounded up, Susan’s, tits bounced too and fro; She cooed as I fucked her, I smiled at her mother, “Sue, you get along well, with your stepBrother.” We're all moving faster, the bed rocked and squeaked, There's magic in the air, as we all reached our peak; Then Jen started first, a long, bellow scream, Susan came next, as I filled her with cream; With eyes all a twinkle, Saint Nick shot his load, It was a Miracle, Mom didn’t explode! I pulled out of Sue, Nick pulled out of Jen, They fell to the sheets, cunts full to the brim; They both were in giggles, together they squirmed, then straddling each other, they sucked out the sperm; Sue looked up at Nick, her eyes had a glint, Licking her lips, said, “Yum! tastes like mint.” Nick stumbled backwards, and pulled up his drawers, His face was beat red, sweat flowed from his pours; He got to the Window, about to slip out, But paused and he turned, and said with a shout: “You people are lovely, That much I will say! But tonight you're naughty, since Harold's away!” Based on a post by Sancho Hardbottle [https://www.lushstories.com/profile/SanchoHardbottle], for Lush Stories. HOW THE INCH STOLE XMAS. FROM THE FUCKS DOWN IN FUCKSVILLE. Based on a post by Sancho Hardbottle [https://www.lushstories.com/profile/SanchoHardbottle]. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories [https://feeds.feedburner.com/steamy-stories]. Every Fuck down in Fucksville liked Xmas a lot; But the Inch, who lived just north of Fucksville, did not! The Inch hated Xmas! The whole Xmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be that his testicles were hung up far too high. It could be, perhaps, that his bladder was shy. But I think that the most likely reason of all, May have been that his cock was two sizes too small. But who cares why? The guy was a schmuck, He stood there on Xmas Eve, hating the Fucks, Staring down from his lair with swollen, blue balls, At the radiantly lit windows below in their halls. For he knew that every Fuck down where he gazed, Was busy now, having their pubic hair shaved. "And they're trying on their nighties!" he snarled with a sneer, "Tomorrow is Xmas! It's practically here!" Then he growled, with his Inch fingers nervously drumming, "I must find some way to stop all those Fuckers from cumming!" For tomorrow, he knew, all the lusty studs and sluts, Would wake nice and horny. They'd all start to rut! And then! Oh, the moans! Oh, the moans! Moans! Moans! Moans! That's one thing he hated! The moans! Moans! Moans! Moans! Then the Fucks, barely legal and mature, would hump. And they'd hump! And they'd hump! And they'd hump! Hump! Hump! Hump! They would hump in their pussies, and tight little rumps. Which was something that put the Inch down in the dumps! And then the thing that he hated most would begin! Every Fuck down in Fucksville, the fat and the thin, Would lay close together, with their vibrators humming. They'd lay side-by-side. And the Fucks would start cumming! They'd cum! And they'd cum! And they'd cum! Cum! Cum! Cum! And the more the Inch thought of this Fuckville wide climax, The more he thought, "I must stop this whole thing in its tracks!" "Why, for sixty-nine years I've put up with it now!" "I must stop this Xmas from coming! But how?" Then he got an idea! A nasty idea! The Inch got a wonderful, nasty idea! "I know just what to do!" The Inch laughed in his throat. And he made a quick wide brimmed hat and a coat. And he chuckled, and clucked, "I am such a devilish Imp!" "With this coat and this hat, I look just like a Pimp!" "All I need is a hooker." The Inch looked around. But, since the Inch had no Hos, there was none to be found. Did that stop the old bastard? No! The Inch simply said, "If I can't find a woman, I'll make one instead!" So he gathered some straw, and he formed it into shape, And he planted a red wig on its head with some tape. Then he grabbed the straw woman and a few old rucksacks, And then jumped behind the wheel of his rusty old Cadillac. Then the Inch said, "Let’s go!" And the jalopy started down, Toward the homes where the Fucks lay asnooze in their town. All their windows were dark. Soft groans filled the air. The Fucks were all dreaming wet dreams without care. When he came to the first flophouse on the square. "This place will work for a start," the old Inchy Pimp hissed, And he jumped into the window, empty bags in his fist. Then he crept into the living room, on the tips of his toes, past the discarded condoms and piles of clothes. And into the parlor, the Inch gleefully strolled. In the middle of the room was a polished stripper pole. Laid out beneath it were wondrous sex toys galore. "They won’t need these!" he chuckled, as he started his chore. Then he slithered and slunk, with his heart starting to sing, Around the whole room, and he stole every plaything! Dildos! And Sybians! Anal beads! Balls! French Ticklers! Massagers! Butt plugs! And dolls! And he stuffed them in sacks. Then the Inch, the old baddie, Threw the sacks, into the trunk of his Caddy! Then he snuck to the bathroom. He took every pill! He took the ribbed condoms! All the sensual thrills! He cleaned out the bathroom of the last drop of lube. Why, that Inch left nothing but one single pube! Then he threw all the junk into the car with scorn. "And now!" growled the Inch, "I will take all the porn!" And the Inch grabbed films, dirty books and magazines, When a small voice almost made him jump out of his jeans. He turned around fast, and he saw a young Fuck! Petite Cindy-Blew You, who was naked as buck. The Inch had been caught by this 22 year-old miss, Who'd got out of bed to use the commode for a piss. She gazed at the Inch and said, "Mister Pimp, why,” "Why are you taking our Pornography? Why?" But, you know, that old Inch was such a clever old prick, He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! "Why, my dear sweet vixen," the bogus Pimp dissembled, "This smut is terrible!” he said, with nary a tremble. "So I'm switching it out, for something much less of a bore." "I'll be back in a flash. With something much more hardcore!" And his fib fooled the minx. Then he patted her bottom, And he went to the loo, never knowing she caught him. And when Cindy-Blew You curled up under her sheet, He grabbed the last bag and chucked it in the street! Then the last thing he stole was their pole for stripping! Then he jumped out the window, practically skipping. He left nothing, no cuffs, no rope. no whips for whipping. And the one drop of lube he left was a crock, It wasn’t enough for even his tiny cock! He did the same thing to every house on every block, Leaving drops much too small for the every Fucks’ cock! There was one hour left before the Fucks started to rise, He decided that heading to his cave would be wise, The car was so stuffed with trinkets it had started to slump! With gags! And with cock rings! With clamps! And clit pumps! Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Pumpit, He drove with his load to the tiptop to dump it! "Yuck yuck to the Fucks!" he was wickedly singing. "They're finding out now what the morning is bringing!" "They're just waking up! With their morning wood throbbing!" "They’ll look all around them and then they’ll start sobbing, For the Fucks down in Fucksville will see all my robbing!" "That's a noise," grinned the Inch, "That I simply must hear!" So he paused. And the Inch put his hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low. Then it started to grow. But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound was climatic! It couldn't be so! But it this sound was loud and dramatic! He stared down at Fucksville! The Inch growled in disgust! Then he shook! What he saw was shocking, terrible lust! Every Fuck down in Fucksville, the thin and the fat, Was humping! Without any sex toys at that! He hadn't stopped Xmas from coming! They came! Somehow or other, they came just the same! And the Inch, as he watched them suck and blow, Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?" "It came with out vibrators! It came without smut!" "It came without lubricates, or plugs in the butt!" And he stared on for hours, and then something felt sore. Then the Inch looked down at something he hadn't before! "Holy shit! I have an erection!” the amazed Inch swore. "Maybe Xmas;perhaps;isn’t so much of a snore!" And what happened then? Well;in Fucksville they say, That the Inch’s micro cock grew five sizes that day! And as his member filled and hung low and swollen, He jumped in his ride to return all the loot he had stolen, And he gave it all back! All the gizmos, gadgets and the tidbits! And he, he himself! The Inch, came on Cindy-Blew’s tits! Based on a post by Sancho Hardbottle [https://www.lushstories.com/profile/SanchoHardbottle], for Lush Stories.

Hospitality For Santa

HOSPITALITY FOR SANTA A GULLIBLE GIRL FINDS A CHRISTMAS NIGHT VISITOR. Based on a post by tomthumper [https://www.literotica.com/authors/tomthumper/works]. Listen to the Podcast [https://archive.org/download/summer-2025_202506/HospitalityForSanta.mp3] at Steamy Stories [https://feeds.feedburner.com/steamy-stories]. [https://archive.org/download/summer-2025_202506/HospitalityForSanta.jpg] It was the night before Christmas when Betty Boots was awakened from her wet dream of big dripping candy canes; by a thump, and then a clunk from her apartment's living room. Her big blue eyes popped open as she listened to a rustling, then a man's voice; cursing? Excited, Betty slipped out of bed and crept towards the living room, the cool night air raising goose bumps all over her voluptuous body. The red frilly negligee she wore was frightfully thin, but Betty didn't mind the cold. She was convinced she was going to catch Santa Claus! Eight years ago, when she was just eighteen, she had hidden behind the couch as Santa put presents under the Christmas tree at her parent’s home. She’d just returned from college, after semester finals. But even when she was an elementary lass, friends had tried to convince her that Santa wasn't real. But Betty was a special girl. She really, really loved Santa. Eight years ago, as Santa slipped the last present under the tree that night, her mother had come out of the bedroom wearing only a pair of white stockings, stiletto heels, and hair ribbon; and gave Santa a very friendly hug. In return, Santa gave Betty's mum a very sexy workout that night. Betty got the gift of a very sexy education. Unfortunately, the next day when young Betty's salesman Dad called from the airport, about to board his rescheduled flight home; Betty had told him all about Santa's exciting visit. Dad had gotten very upset and yelled at Betty’s mum. He hung up and they never saw him again. Betty's mum was angry, and threw Betty out of the house for good. From then on Betty had to go back to college, but since the dorms were vacated til past new years, she had to turn to some fraternities, who were always happy to help the plucky, busty, blonde beauty. They were eager to trade boarding for services. But it’s 8 years later. Sneaking towards her apartment living room, Betty was very excited. It was Christmas and Santa had come to visit her! She wasn't angry about Santa causing her parents to split or her abandonment. She had never connected the events. No, Betty was as happy and excited as a particularly naïve schoolgirl. Santa was in her living room! She tried not to skip with glee, as she slipped into the unlit room. Santa was bent over the entertainment center. Perhaps, Betty thought, he was leaving a holiday music CD in her stereo. She hoped it was someone sexy and sophisticated like Britney Spears or Katy Perry. Betty flushed. Santa had sure slimmed down since the last time. He had the firmest butt that showed off very well indeed, in his tight blue jeans. He must have started going to the gym because his muscles bulged beneath his black sweater. He still wore a red Santa hat, which made sense since he was Santa. "Oh; Santa," she said, half out of happiness to find him bringing her presents, and half because; Wow! He was really built. Santa was startled and turned around. Betty was confused. Instead of being old with a white beard, he was young, with chiseled features, short spiky black hair and green vigorous eyes. But then again, Betty thought, Santa was a magical man. Perhaps this was how he appeared to lonely young women who were positively bursting out of their lacy intimates, like her mom had done, some 8 years earlier? "I'm sorry Santa," said Betty in a bashful voice, after flicking on a lamp. Santa was looking very nervous. He had dropped his bag of presents with a clank; and if she didn't know better, she would have said he was about to make a break for it. "I'm sorry Santa," she repeated, edging over to him. "I know I should be tucked in bed like a good girl. But I got so very excited when I heard you delivering my presents." Santa's mouth dropped open, and it took him a moment to say anything. "Santa?" he finally managed to say, in a marvelously deep voice. "You can't fool me, Santa," Betty said proudly, sticking out her magnificent chest. "I'm smart. You’re disguising yourself! You may not look like Saint Nick, but who else would be bringing me presents tonight? The Easter Bunny?" "I; I guess you caught me," Santa said, googling at Betty's buxom tits. The fabric of her red negligee was light and sheer, almost transparent. She obviously wasn't wearing a bra and her sizable jugs jostled together amiably. Santa could even catch the hint of her tit's dark areolas. "Well," he gulped. "I should go." He reached to pick up his sack. "Lots of boys and girls to visit." "Oh no, Santa!" Betty exclaimed, clutching him to her bosom. "Please don't go yet! Have some milk and cookies. Mama taught me to be extra hospitable, and be good to you." Santa got a strange look on his face as the buxom blonde rubbed up and down him in her small frilly teddy. Without her noticing, he flipped up the back of her nightie. He broke into a grin. This girl had gone to bed without any panties! "Okay," he said. "I'll stay a bit." He settled down in a brown comfy chair and let Betty serve him his milk and cookies. "Any beer?" Betty got Santa a tall cool one, which he guzzled, in one swig. "Ah!" He plopped the bottle down and looked up at Betty, who was hovering over his extended leg. Facing away, she was removing his boots for a foot massage, and accidentally giving him a preview of her equally blonde nether locks as well. He stretched and then grabbed her round the waist and set her on his lap. Then he asked with a grin. "So what do you want for Christmas, little girl?" "I thought you'd never ask, Santa!" exclaimed Betty. She giggled as she slid further up on his lap, making him go Ooof! and slip his hand up the back of her nightie; all the way up to her shoulder blades. Betty was so excited, she paid no attention to Santa's paw. "But you have to ask me the other question first, Santa," demanded Betty, bouncing on Santa's lap. "Holy" Santa caught himself just in time as Betty gave his lap the bouncing of its life. "What question honey?" "The naughty or nice question!" Betty said impatiently. "What's wrong with you, Santa?" Santa was breathing the sweet scent of Betty's hair; so had to shake his head to answer the question. "Oh, yes! Naughty or nice. Sorry, my girlfriend; I mean, Mrs. Claus left me for one of the elves." He eased his hand lower until it rested on her full round ass. Man, this chick was all curves! "That's awful, Santa!" said Betty, opening wide her full round lips around the 'aw' in awful. "Yes. I walked in on them," said Santa. "Have you ever seen an elf with a twelve inch dick?" "Not on an elf." Betty shuddered. "But twelve inches is a lot for any gal to take, let me tell you." She blushed, realizing that Santa was studying her closely. "Hmm, So you know exactly how she felt," he said, giving her bottom a squeeze. Betty giggled and wiggled. "So Santa has been all alone since June, and what with my work; I don't get to meet cute little scamps like you, except for around Christmas." "Poor Santa!" cried Betty. "So there's been no one to; relieve all the pressure?" Betty grinned as her hand involuntarily slid over the hump between his legs.. Santa might not be twelve inches, but she was pretty sure he was pushing eight or nine, judging from what a bumpy lap she was sitting on. "Yes, it's just been me and the reindeer," said Santa. "Oh, Santa," Betty said in a shocked voice. "You haven't been using Cupid or Comet that way, have you?" "What way is that?" asked Santa, running his finger down between her soft ass cheeks. "You know." Betty squirmed. "Like when a woman bends over and a man takes his; candy cane and slides it into her stocking." "Oh, reindeer-style," Santa drawled. "No, I've never gotten that desperate." He locked Betty in his gaze. "What about you? Have you been a good girl this year? I hope you haven't been getting your stocking stuffed, too much. Though you're very, very stuff-able." "Well..." Betty looked very guilty. "I've been, pretty good?" "Betty," Santa said sternly. "Remember who you are talking to." Betty tugged at the neck of Santa's sweater. "Well, I honestly didn't know about my mistletoe print dress, until Mr. Stevenson and Mr. Johnson took me into the coat room, and explained," she said in a defensive tone. "It was lucky Mr. Johnson told me to take it off, cause while they were performing the traditional punishment, Mr. Stevenson splattered all over me with his big dick! Santa's eyes widened as he imagined the banging of Betty Boots in the coat closet. His pants were getting tighter and tighter, nuzzling Betty's sexy bottom. "I got pretty tipsy as well," admitted Betty. "But I did a good deed! I gave Tim, the office boy, a hand job cause of his cock cancer." "Cock cancer?" "Yes," said Betty, biting her lip trying to remember. "He was afraid he might have cock cancer, and the only way to know was to; you know, try to cum. But he didn't want to find out all alone. So I;" Betty grinned sheepishly. "I gave him a hand job." "And?" asked Santa, shifting with exquisite discomfort. "Oh, he came really, really well!" Betty giggled. "I decided to really make sure he was A okay, so I sucked on him till he came again." Betty licked her full lips. "He tasted very healthy!" She glanced at Santa nervously. "I like tasting cocks. Is that naughty?" "Ho Ho! No!" Santa bounced Betty on his knee, watching her tits jiggle as her ass pounded his bulge. "Except Santa isn't sure if you're not just a little naughty," he said. "The last time I looked at you closely, was when you were still in high school." He wiggled the end of her button nose. "You were in the shower getting all soapy. My how you've sprouted since then!" "In the shower?" Betty squeaked. "Oh gosh, I wasn't using the shower head was I? You know, the naughty way." When Santa nodded, Betty turned bright red. "But, but I have to, cause if I don't, I just can't concentrate on anything. Even now." Betty was crossing and uncrossing her legs and nuzzling against Santa's broad chest. "There, there," said Santa, giving Betty's bottom a comforting pat. "I know a vigorous girl like you needs to let off steam if she's going to try and be nice." Betty calmed down and rested her head on Santa's shoulder. "I decided I should visit you tonight and have a good look at you, because I know how hard you try to be a good girl," he explained. "Sometimes Santa needs to really examine the borderline naughty girls. Now slip off that nightie and let’s get started." Betty's eyes widened, and she sat up straight on Santa's lap. "You want to see me naked?" she asked, her voice a little shocked. "Yes," wheedled Santa. "That way I can be really sure if you are naughty or nice. You want your presents, don't you?" "I do! I do!" exclaimed Betty. "I guess it's okay, since it's you, Santa." Betty amiably reached down and took hold of the hem of her fuzzy red negligee. "Now that's the first sign of a good girl!" Santa helped Betty slip the garment over her head, and had her hold her arms up in the air as he feasted his eyes on Betty's supple body. With her perfect complexion and the lotion she rubbed all over herself, by her open window each night, she was good enough to eat. Santa groaned as his eyes unsuccessfully tried to take in Betty's firm melons. Around each nipple was a large chocolate areola, like the ring around a particularly high scoring bulls-eye. "What's the matter, Santa Claus?" asked Betty, putting her arms around him. "You seemed bothered." "Oh, it's nothing," he said, pulling Betty's warm, curvy body closer. "It is just that Mrs. Claus has nice firm tits like yours. I loved to suck on her nipples. They were so tasty." Santa's voice was heavy with sadness. After a moment of silent considering, Betty spoke up in a kindly voice. "You could suck my nipples, if you'd like. I mean, I know it wouldn't be the same as Mrs. Claus, but maybe it would help." She squirmed with delight. She was proud of her tits and having her nipples sucked made her all squishy. "If you're sure you don't mind," said Santa quickly, taking her knockers in his large hands and gently squeezing them. How plump they were! Betty shook her head, a happy half grin lighting up her face. "Thank you very much." Santa gently took the nearest nipple into his mouth and began to suck. Betty's nipples had hardened at the mere idea of Santa having a go; and each was nearly an inch long. Santa closed his eyes as he began to draw on the tasty teat. Betty moaned and rubbed herself on his lap, pushing her breasts into his face. God, she loved to be sucked! Her pussy was getting drippy with delight. "Oh, Santa!" she gasped. "You're so lumpy! What do you have in your pants?" Betty swiveled so she straddled Santa and could better rub up and down his lap. Her pussy lips had spread apart easily to nestle on the rise of his jeans. "I'm sorry, my breasty beauty," said Santa, nosing his way between Betty's heaving knockers. "It's been so long since I felt the touch of a woman. I've even started letting young women sit on my lap. "In Switzerland this Inga in a Heidi skirt hopped up, popped the buttons on my pants and pulled out my stiff todger. She was a horny girl who loved to bounce up and down." Santa gripped Betty's hips and grinded her as he spoke. "Damned if she didn't wrap her pussy lips right around me! And this was all in a crowded mall. She batted her eyes and waved to her friends. Her cunt muscles rippled up and down me as she asked for a pretty pair of shoes for Christmas. The she leaned in and whispered: "Oh Sinterklaas, I want you to use your big cock to fill up my belly!" Then in a louder voice she said, "Oh yah! Bounce me on your knee, yah!" And she rode my cock, surrounded by my elves, mummies and daddies, their children; and also her lewd little girlfriends, until I erupted into her. The last time I saw her, she indeed did have a big belly, and tits almost as big as these." He squeezed Betty's boobs together and sucked each nipple with a long hard pull at the end. "What a saucy girl! And how selfish not to consider your feelings," said Betty, pulling off Santa's cap and putting it on. "I think it is high time someone be your Santa. Or," she grinned. "Be your Ms. Santa!" She stripped off Santa's sweater and marveled at the sculpted bronze muscles underneath. Playfully, she tugged on his nipples. "What nice buttons you have Santa!" Then she whispered naughty things in his ear. "You want to ride the boobie train, Santa? You want to check out my caboose? I bet you could make me blow the whistle, Santa." "Get some steam going, baby!" He slapped her firm round bottom. "Run to your bedroom and Santa will follow with a big candy cane for his special special girl." So Betty ran, her boobs bouncing, giggling lustily, and Santa followed, dropping his pants and letting his cock wave in the air. Betty tripped on a pair of high-heeled boots and fell face down on her bed, her boobs splayed out on either side of her. Before she could move, Santa caught up, raised her bottom and started sliding his turgid cock between her plump ass cheeks. "Santa!" laughed Betty. "What a naughty boy you are!" "What a wet girl you are!" Santa spread Betty's legs and dipped his fingers into her sodden snatch. "Oh, Santa," groaned Betty. "Just how I like my ho's," chuckled Santa. He withdrew his fingers and gripped his reddened rocket. "Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Betty's cunny lane!" He fed his cock into Betty's pussy, reindeer style. "Oh, Santa!" Betty lost her balance and ended up with her head buried in pillows and stuffed animals. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" moaned Santa, his cock buried in the pussy of this beautiful woman's body. Her round toned ass was up in the air, her boobs rocking with each thrust, her empty head was lost under the pillows. "Mumfer!" Betty tried to say, flailing her arms. "Oh yes! You hot bitch!" cried Santa, battering her bottom with the pent up lust of the last six months. All he wanted was release and the liquid snugness of this beauty's snatch on his red-hot cock. That she was temporarily headless just made him more animal, more Satan than Santa. "Ah, mumph!" went Betty as Santa's dick stretched her wet pussy. She tried to pull her head from the pillows but Santa was ramming her so hard all she could do was be ridden by him like an extremely busty fuck doll. He was fucking her so fast and the air was so hot and close under the pillows, teddy bears, and her tickle-me-Elmo. She felt like the naughtiest fuck doll you might see advertised at the back of a porno rag. He was just using her to sate his big bulging cock. His swelling mushroom head rubbed her walls. She was going to cum, but she felt so dizzy, so light. "Oh, Jesus fucking Christ," grunted Santa, working his dick up into a white foam of her cunt cream. The sucking and slurping noises from Betty's cunt echoed off the wall as her boobs rocked back and forth on the bed. Her head was still out of sight under the bedding. "I'm gonna fill this ass!" Santa declared and slapped a red handprint across it. Then the pussy, for Santa had forgotten poor suffocating Betty, suddenly tightened and he found real resistance and purchase for his cock. The cunt dragged on his dick as he slid out, and was slow to give way as he shoved in. "Oh yes! You wonderful poon tang," he said, digging in with his dick, feeling every inch as he plowed. "That's, That's it," he groaned. And as he plunged deep; the pussy convulsed around him; giving him a series of rapid squeezes. "Hmm, ah." came the muffled cry of orgasm from under the pillows. "Oh, what a fucking tremendous naughty girl!" Santa's cock exploded and shot ropes of cum into Betty's twitching snatch. He held her weighty bottom up, and filled her up like a fuel tank on a big rig. Santa gasped and let Betty's body fall to the bed, his gleaming, still-hard cock, slipping from her pussy. Her snatch twinkled from between her golden ass cheeks. On either side of her small and finely muscled back, her boobs spread out like overfilled water balloons. Her head was still under the pillows and she wasn't moving at all. Was she even breathing? "Betty?" His cock twitched and spurted cum residual over her bottom and the small of her back. Betty didn't move at all. "Oh, fuck!" He grabbed her leg and shook it. Nothing. "Shit," he muttered. "Stealing is one thing. Pretending to be Santa, who cares? But murder!" Santa Claus, a.k.a. Sam Clay; burglar, jumped onto the bed and pulled the pillows and teddy bears from Betty Boots' blonde heat. He flipped her over, her jugs sloshing from side to side until finally coming to a quivering halt. Her eyes were closed and her plump red lips hung open. Sam had been merrily breaking into the less secure apartments of the complex, loading up on Christmas presents when he slipped into Betty's apartment through the unlocked balcony door. Who knew Christmas shopping could be so much horny fun? Or turn so wrong? "Please don't be dead," pleaded Sam. "You're such a fine fuck!" He rested his ear between her tits and held his breath. For a moment he could hear nothing over the pounding of his own heart. But then, then there was a soft and steady echoing in that wonderful chest of hers. He sat back in the bed and sighed with relief. After a moment, Betty stretched without waking up, turned on her side towards Sam; and rested her tousled blonde head on his lap. She smacked her lips and sighed. Sam had been worrying about brain damage. How many brain cells did this girl have to spare? But all worries left his mind when she put her head on his leg. "Hmm! Maybe she needs cock-to-mouth resuscitation!" he said, his dick starting to stiffen. Stroking himself luxuriously, he put his tip up to her mouth. At first she furrowed her brow and refused him, but he persisted, rubbing the tip with its bead of pre-cum over her lips until she licked them. After that she relaxed completely and let him slip his member into her mouth. First his head went in and she was eagerly sucking after a few mewls. "Oh yes, baby," he groaned as her tongue explored his cock-head, lapping the underside. "Santa's got the tasty candy-cane for you." He stroked her head, gently applying pressure on the back of her head, so soon she was bobbing her head up and down on his dick. "What a hungry mouth you have," he moaned as she sucked hungrily on him, her hair tickling his abs and her nipples brushing his thighs. Betty's eyelids fluttered open and then became very wide as she realized that she was orally pleasuring Santa's very big, very bulging dick. "Umm; Hmm! Slurp! Slurp! Oh, Santa Claus, you made me cum so hard I passed out!" Betty wrapped her hands around Sam's cock and pumped him as she talked. "I am sorry Santa, no one has fucked my brains out like that, ever!" "That's okay, Betty," Sam grunted, watching the tip of his dick disappear between Betty's boobs. "Except Santa still has this raging hard-on." "I'm sorry Santa," Betty said, realizing she was covered in a layer of hardening cum. "I'm being so selfish when I'm supposed to be giving." She climbed up Sam's prone body, took hold of his pole and slid her gorgeously tight pussy all the way down him, right to the hilt. She swayed like a bronco rider on top of him, moaning. "Oh Santa, such a big gift on Christmas!" She began to slowly slide herself up and down him. Sam lay back and watched the blonde beauty ride him, groaning as she moaned, squeezing her knockers, and urging her on. "Oh shit! You're going to be at the very top of my nice list for this," he said as she picked up her pace and began to gallop. Her boobs flew high into the air and then dropped onto her chest with fleshy thuds over and over again. Faster and faster she fucked. Her pussy was tingling every nerve of his dick until he could no longer stand it. "Jingle Boobs! Jingle Boobs," he gasped. "Jingle all the... oh god, oh god... Jingle All the Way!" And his cock gunned shot after shot into her snug little snatch. "Oh Santa. Oh Santa! Fill me up with your sticky snow!" Betty rocked her pussy furiously over his dick. "Oh, oh, Santa! Santa! Santa!" She was really loud now. She raised her arms in the air and her eyes rolled back in ecstasy. "Merry Christmas, Santa!" And she came, doing little half jerky gasps over his pulsing dick. "Merry" She bounced. "Christmas" She undulated. "Santa!" She jiggled up and down furiously for a glorious moment, her knockers slapping her chest and then her chin stunningly. Finally she fell beside Sam gasping. At that point Sam thought it was over, but he didn't realize what a trooper Betty Boots was. She slithered down to his lap and slipped his still pulsing dick into her mouth. Slowly and thoroughly she milked the last of his cum and licked his balls clean. Sam looked up to the heavens in bliss. When all of this was finished he looked down. Betty was curled up beside him asleep, a naughty grin on her face. The next morning Betty was delighted to find two presents from Santa under her two-foot plastic tree. Santa must have been a little too happy from Betty boinking because one had a label to Lori and the other one was addressed to Mabel. The Lori present was a tiny white crop top with Pretty ink-stamped across the chest. Betty blushed, thinking of what kind of attention she would get wearing a top better suited to a flat-chested twelve-year-old. The Mabel present was a black three-foot massage wand, but Betty soon found another very naughty use for her present. She was sure Santa would approve. It was the best Christmas ever!  Based on a post by tomthumper [https://www.literotica.com/authors/tomthumper/works], for Literotica.

Elf on a Shelf: Part 3

ELF ON A SHELF: PART 3 IT'S HARD TO PUNISH A GIRL AS GOOD AS HONEY, BUT HE'LL TRY. Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought [https://www.literotica.com/authors/LingeringAfterthought/works], in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast [https://archive.org/download/Spring-2025/ElfOnAShelf3.mp3] at Steamy Stories [https://feeds.feedburner.com/steamy-stories]. [https://archive.org/download/Spring-2025/ElfOnAShelf3.jpg] In the second week of February, Honey Lane sat on a tall stool in the corner next to Zach's kitchen counter, sulking as she watched him walk slowly around the table at which sat a girl and two boys between the ages of 7 and 10. The dour silence of the spacious industrial loft suggested more that the children were completing a college entrance exam with a severe proctor, rather than completing Valentines to be distributed in class the following Monday. Honey crossed her long legs and sighed again, earning a piercing glare from Zach. She had been looking forward to helping Zach's niece and nephews with their Valentines for a couple weeks, Until she received a call from the Health Department, advising her to take precautions due to a Covid outbreak in her dumpy apartment complex. and now she was only allowed to observe the kids from five feet away. She crossed her arms and sighed again. This was the worst punishment ever. Zach continued circling the table, trying not to notice how Honey's folded arms pushed her tits together, the neckline of her fuzzy sweater dipping between them. Beneath the soft woven folds, the silken white skin of her tits probably still bore the red marks of his passion, his teeth and lips remembering the feel of her shuddering with pleasure under them only moments before his sister dropped her kids off for the afternoon. Jesus Christ; she just uncrossed and crossed her legs again, totally oblivious to the way she flashed him an upskirt every goddamn time she did it. Unless she wasn't oblivious to it; with Honey, it was hard to tell. Zach could tell that Honey was just dying to hop down from the stool, scamper over and huddle with Amarie, Fallon and Logan, as they wrote their names on the stupid little perforated papers and stuck a pencil through the pre-punched holes for a stupid commercial holiday that was supposed to celebrate love. Honey would ask them questions about their classmates, help them choose the right stupid Valentine message for the right classmate, put stickers and shit on the cards, and generally sprinkle that fairy dust that she seemed to bring to anything she did. She was a born nurturer and would make this whole thing magical for the kids, but it couldn't be helped. Honey had scared the shit out of him and she needed to learn a lesson. It would be hard, but he just had to be strong. She would not be getting out of this. Not this time. "Done!" Fallon yelled, slamming his pencil down on the table. Logan looked up from where he was working on his third personalized Valentine message, apparently trying to sign each of them in rudimentary calligraphy, and frowned, "You just put 'F' on all of them," he said in disgust, "It looks like you're giving them a bad grade; he said, shaking his head and returning to his careful scrivening. "I am. Everyone in my class is a jerk. What are these things supposed to mean, anyway? All these cards sound stupid. Like you'd really walk up to someone you like and say 'Let's swing!' I haven't asked a girl to swing in years. I'm too old for swinging," Fallon griped, looking at his Spiderman sticker cards. A snort of suppressed laughter came out of the corner of the room, followed by the sound of a body collapsing to the floor in a fit of coughing. "Fourth Fucking Place! On Your Face, Maggot!" Zach roared. In the corner, hidden among the gym equipment, Zach's friend and loyal wingman Terry promptly scrambled up into pushup position again without a word. "Thirty-two," the children said in unison, prompting Zach to put another dollar into a large money-stuffed jar labeled "Language Arts Scholarship" in the middle of the table. Amarie sighed and looked longingly over at Honey, who smiled ruefully and gave her a little wave from her stool. "Why is Miss Honey on the naughty stool, Uncle Zach?" she asked. "Cards," Zach ordered, walking over to block Amarie's view of Honey with his massive body. Amarie resignedly turned back to signing her pink and purple mermaid cards that came with scented tattoos. Zach knew Amarie would be a problem. She adored Honey, and there was very little that Amarie's big brown eyes and reddish curls couldn't talk him into. She had a tender heart that couldn't believe anyone deserved to be punished; especially not someone as soft and sweet as his Honey. Goddammit. Honey leaned forward and pressed her cheek against the tightly muscled wall of Zach's back, then reached her hand up under his t-shirt and began gently scratching him. She could feel the warmth of his skin seep through the tight cotton, and smiled as she snuggled into him, still grazing her fingernails across the skin of his back. Zach's mind flashed back to this morning when her nails were not so gentle as he pounded into her tight, wet pussy, her nails digging deep, scoring his flesh in her ecstasy. A noise of pleasure escaped him before Zach disguised it as a barking cough, and quickly stepped away until he was a safer distance away from the irresistible vixen sitting, most deservedly, on the naughty stool. Shaking his head to clear it, Zach tucked his t-shirt back into his jeans and folded his arms. "Miss Honey is on the naughty stool. I ll tell you why. The other day when I got back from the race in California where I had to drag Terry's ass across the finish line in Fourth Place Behind The Fucking Bubbleheads," Zach ranted, before pausing to collect himself and continuing. "I go over to get Miss Honey at her apartment and find her giving a fucking haircut to a naked guy in her fucking living room!" "You cheated, Miss Honey?" Fallon gasped in disbelief, at the same time Logan called out "Thirty-six!" Zach fished a five-dollar bill out of his wallet and put it into the jar, taking a one out for change. A foot stomped on the floor and he glanced up to see Honey with her hand raised in the air, outrage written on her face. He raised his hand, blocking his view of her face and the heart-melting effect it had on him, and looked away dismissively. "He was not naked! Cade had a towel on!" Honey yelled in protest. Zach strode over to her, took her chin in his hand, trying to think of something harsh and authoritative to say, but got distracted by her plump lower lip instead, remembering how it felt to suck it between his own and have her open her mouth, hungry to accept his tongue. He could smell the faint strawberry scent of her lip balm and closed his eyes, clenching his jaw in an effort not to kiss her. "No talking on the naughty stool," he murmured, his eyes dipping down to let his gaze rove over her soft tits, loosely wrapped in her fuzzy sweater. Honey smirked and kissed his palm. "Miss Honey would never cheat," Amarie said with resolute confidence. Honey nodded in agreement and thanks to the young girl, tossed her long hair over her shoulder and grinned up at Zach. "Towel or no towel, I still saw Cade's nuts when she was goin' after him with the Flowbee," Zach explained, turning from Honey as Logan opened his mouth with a look of question, "And no, 'nuts' doesn't count as a swear," Zach finished, pointing at Logan. Zach resumed his rounds of the table, continuing his story. "So, of course, I reacted like anybody else who saw another guy's nuts in his girlfriend's living room, and she has the balls to tell me not to yell because it's not good for Cade." "I think 'nuts' should be fifty-cents; 'balls' too," Logan said, thoughtfully. "They might not be swears, but they are; indelicate." Zach turned to Honey and silently mouthed the word "indelicate?" to her, a discomfited look on his face. Honey bit her lips, and another snort of laughter erupted from the corner where Terry was still in starting push-up position. "Fourth Place, Maggot! You Got Nothing To Laugh About Except The Size Of Your;" Zach roared, before pausing and breathing deeply and continuing in a calmer voice. "Anyway. Turns out, this guy Cade just got back from a tour and was dealing with some PTSD when he saw another guy's balls in his living room, too, only his girl wasn't exactly giving the other guy a haircut. So, after a bit of trouble, he was living on the streets. No job. No money. Nothing. Then, a few days ago, Honey sees him eating some of the food she left out for a stray cat," Zach said, his voice constricting as his throat tightened. He turned away from the kids to hide his face for a moment, only to meet Honey's deep blue eyes and a whole new set of problems; like not remembering anything he was talking about before. She reached up and stroked his cheek, and then he felt all the blood in his brain drain down below his belt. Fucking hell. "Miss Honey helped him, though, didn't she?" Amarie said expectantly, more as a statement than a question. "What? Yeah. Of course, she did," Zach said with exasperation, looking down into Honey's face, and trying not to laugh at her stubbornly set jaw. "Miss Honey never fucking heard of "stranger danger," or met a wreck of a person she couldn't care about. So, she takes this 'Cade' in, feeds him, gets him washed up, takes him shopping at the Salvation Army, and then takes his ass to the library to write up his fucking resume and apply for jobs, for cryin' out loud," Zach said, putting another two dollars into the jar before Logan could remind him. "When I got there, Cade was there in her living room with his nuts showing under the towel, getting a vacuum cleaner haircut, because he'd gotten a job interview with a moving company." "Yeah, but if she wasn't cheating, I don't see what she did wrong," Fallon said, applying a scented mermaid tattoo to the back of his hand. "Is this what mermaids smell like?" he wondered. "Yeah, well, just as I was cooling down, this 'Cade' starts in on me for letting Honey stay in that piece of crap apartment of hers and taking in homeless guys. Even had the nerve to ask me what woulda happened if he'd been some addict, or worse, if someone that got to thinking that she was his girlfriend?" Zach said, folding his arms and looking down at Honey, who looked quite unrepentant. "What? So, Miss Honey can't be nice because they might have problems or fall in love with her?" Amarie asked. "That's not fair! You wouldn't even like her if she wasn't happy and nice all the time because she was always worried about what would happen if the boys fall in love!" "Ugh. Love ruins everything. Maybe that's why these Valentines are all so stupid, so nobody actually falls in love; Fallon said, with an air of realization. "Yeah; and then girls can take the pencil from the card and jab anybody that wants to kiss them, too." "If the burden was placed on women to be preemptively hostile to avoid rejecting unwanted affections, it might explain the decline of romance in the modern era; and 'crap' is an excremental swear," Logan added offhandedly, not looking up from his fourth Valentine message. Zach's eyes grew wide, his jaw going slack as he looked at his oldest nephew with unnerved awe and added another dollar to the jar without argument. "They should really make these things with nunchucks; Fallon added, looking down at his Valentines, "Nobody can kiss you if you have nunchucks." "The point is, even a freaked out homeless guy knew that Miss Honey did something dangerous that nobody should ever do! You don't just grab strangers off the street and take them into your homes because there's a lot of crazies out there that will mess you up for no reason at all!" Zach ranted at the kids. A stomp from the corner made Zach turn back to where Honey waved her hand insistently in the air, her sweater pulling up and exposing a narrow bit of skin at her waist. The skin was pale and beautiful, like the rest of her, except where there was a slight bruise where his fingers had gripped her tightly as he pounded into her from behind in a haze of animalistic lust, only a few hours ago. "Yes?" he asked hoarsely, a dew of sweat breaking out over the back of his neck. Honey cleared her throat, "Okay; say someone threatened to kill you and then scared you to death for a whole year by following you around; and then one day you wake up at their house all beaten up and they tell you that they're going to keep you there and take care of you until you're better. Should you give them a chance, or just phone an Uber and get the heck out of there?" Honey asked, putting her hands on her hips. A peal of laughter rose out of the corner where Terry was, and Zach stomped his foot, ending it quickly. "I don't know. That person sounds scary, Miss Honey; Amarie said, her large eyes concerned. "That's just insane. That's like that movie where this crazy lady kidnapped this guy and makes him write books for her and then she smashed his legs with a sledgehammer when;" "Who the fuck is letting you watch 'Misery,' Fallon?" Zach roared. "YouTube," Fallon said, shrugging. "Jesus Fucking Christ; Zach said, waving down Logan's hand and stuffing more bills into the jar, then walked back to where Honey sat with a smirk on her face. Glaring down at her, he crossed his massive arms, and she crossed her legs again, squirming slightly on her stool. "Maggot, come watch the kids," he barked as Terry collapsed on the floor with a relieved sigh. "I wanna talk to you in the other room," he said, gripping Honey by the back of her neck and steering her up the stairs as she tried to control her giggles. "But there isn't another room; it's all just one big room. Even your bedroom is just a big shelf;" Honey began, until Zach steered her into the bathroom and locked the door. "Hey kids, what do you say we turn this into a dance party!" Terry yelled, and loud music quickly started blasting outside the bathroom door. "Did they just fucking compare me to Annie Bates?" Zach asked as Honey dropped to her knees, unzipped his jeans and took out his painfully excited erection. "Umm huh," Honey said, hungrily filling her mouth with his hard cock, as his hand gripped the back of her head. Zach's breath hitched as she began rubbing her tongue on the bottom of his mushroom head, clutching his flexing thighs. Groaning, he thrust back and forth slowly, watching his cock slide in and out of her wet lips. "Just for that, you're swallowing my load this time," Zach growled, gripping her hair tighter and thrusting deeper. Honey just wrinkled her nose and relaxed her throat, letting him plunge and withdraw, clenching his jaw, loving the noises he made as his excitement grew beyond his control. With a strangled moan, he thrust deep and watched her eyes widen when he swelled and throbbed down her throat, until he slowly pulled out and spilled the last hot pulses on her tongue. Honey's eyes glowed as she took him once more into her mouth and slowly slid back, cleaning him with her tongue, until the head of his cock slowly emerged from her wet lips and received a sweet kiss on the tip. He shook his head in amazement and lifted her up in his arms, overwhelmed again at the miracle of having her there with him, when there were so many ways that everything that had happened between them could have gone wrong. Still breathing raggedly, he bent down and kissed her, her eager and innocent passion for him touching him more deeply than he cared to admit. How in the hell had he managed to get this girl? Zach lifted her up and set her bottom on the bathroom countertop and stripped her sweater over her head, bending and going after her neck first. He loved the way she shivered when she felt his lips and teeth drag across the smooth skin, the way she completely lost herself to him. She was already panting those soft sighs against the top of his head when he freed her tits and took them in his mouth, and then he chuckled when she jumped at the sensation of it. God, he hoped she never changed. Diving in, he devoured her soft pale flesh, her rosy nipples tightening under his busy tongue. He reached down, pushed her skirt up, and moved the wet gusset of her panties aside. He laughed again, feeling the abundant slippery nectar between his fingers, leaving no doubt that she wanted him just as much as he did her. He wanted to taste her, to feel her hips rise up under his mouth, begging him for more, but he knew Honey could never stay quiet enough, even with Terry blasting a dance mix. Lifting his head from her tits, he returned to her mouth, her nose, her cheeks; God, he couldn't get enough of her. "Look at me," he said in a rough whisper, smiling when Honey's eyes opened obediently, seeking him through her haze of need. She bit her lips and whimpered when his fingers found her clit. "Don't you come until I say," he rasped, toggling her bud expertly. Honey moaned and wound her legs around him, pulling him closer, her back arching in restrained pleasure. "Umm; I can't do it; please; please; she begged, crying softly in loss when he slowed his ministrations, "No; she whimpered. "Don't you want to come on my cock, baby girl?" he said, finding his mark and sliding home into her warm welcome. "Now, come; he said, kissing her softly and pulling her hips to him as he thrust deep. "Ah;" Honey's cry was quickly contained by Zach's hand covering her mouth, his other hand holding her steady as he thrust into her and felt her shaking and squeezing around him as she came. If he hadn't just released in her mouth, there was no way he could resist filling her full of his cum again now. Instead, he just watched Honey's eyes roll back as she clung to him, letting her orgasm take her away until it left her weak and pliable in his arms. He held her against him, slowly moving inside her, waiting for her to recover. Always before, it had been a relentless push for the intense frenzied moment, almost blind to whatever person he was with, but with Honey that was all on its head. She was the experience, for him. Seeing her discover, taste, and feel was everything he wanted. He didn't want to feel a surge ripping through him if she wasn't there, too. It wasn't real; wasn't complete if she wasn't there with him. Fuck; he was gone for this girl. "There she is; he murmured when he saw her eyes clear and smiling into his again. Relieved, he thrust faster, joining their bodies together with more force, now that she was able to be present to it. "There's my girl; he said, smiling and kissing her again. "Zach; she said, smiling back at him for no reason other than thinking he was something wonderful. Looking at her, he started shaking his head, "God, Honey; I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, it scared the fuck out of me; thinking what could've happened to you; but Amarie's right. I couldn't stand it if you were any other way," Zach rasped, lifting her off the counter just to hold her closer to him. Honey wrapped her arms and legs around him, clinging to him as he kissed her desperately, plunging into her again and again. "Promise me; promise me you'll never change; he panted, lifting her and pressing her against the wall as his need grew. "Oh Zach; it's coming; uh; uh; uh; uh;" Honey's squeals were again silenced, this time by Zach's lips. Thrusting with joyous abandon, Zach filled her again and again, pushing into her body, his release tearing through him, made complete only by her embrace, pouring into her his need, his heart, his everything; because she was the only one he wanted to have it. A short while later, Zach and Honey slunk out of the bathroom, carefully primped and looking like nothing at all had happened. They needn't have bothered, though, because the children were transfixed with a story Terry was telling, with his foot on the table and his pants leg pulled up to show a small wound on his ankle. "And I'm screaming bloody murder, of course, because when something in the desert bites you, in your head it's always a rattlesnake, right?" he asked, to the unanimous agreement of the three children. "Well, then your Uncle Zach doesn't even miss a beat and he just picks me up, throws me over his shoulder and continues on the race like nothing happened!" "Whoa! He's really strong! You're like 500 pounds or something!" Fallon exclaimed. "Why didn't he just call for help?" Logan asked, frowning. "No coverage. This race was the middle of nowhere; and Zach figured I'd get the anti-venom faster if he brought me with him, not to mention all the things that woulda crawled up to bite me all alone out there in the desert. So, like a hero, your uncle carried me more than three miles through the desert and dumped me down only after he'd crossed the finish line," Terry said, nodding. "And what's a 'bubblehead?'" Amarie asked. "Well, you see, sweetheart, a 'bubblehead' is;" "A bubblehead is someone who works on a submarine where there's nowhere good to practice running for a race; and who give you no end of shit when you fucking come in fourth place after them, carrying an idiot with a fucking kangaroo rat bite on his goddamn ankle! Back on your face, Maggot!" Zach roared, "Fallon, go sit on Uncle Terry's back, over there," Zach said, pointing to the corner where Terry was getting back into pushup position, and then he took out his wallet and dropped the entire thing into the Language Arts Scholarship jar. "All right, kids, I'm gonna tell you the story the right way, now; Released from the naughty stool, Honey happily buzzed around the apartment, making cupcakes with Amarie, giving pointers to Logan who had decided to fold each of his Valentines into a different origami animal, and bringing water to the profusely sweating Terry, over Zach's obscene objections. At the end of the day, after the kids and Terry had gone home, Honey and Zach had nearly fallen asleep on the sofa when a knock at the door jerked them back awake. Zach seemed to expect it, though, and winked at Honey before getting up and going to the door. "Where do you want it?" the visitor's familiar voice asked, though their face was obscured by a large cardboard box. "Yeah, put them in the storage area, through there; we'll go through it all later," Zach said, pointing out the way to a uniformed Cade. "Cade! You got the job! That's great!" Honey squealed. "Yeah, well it's just moving stuff around, but I can make something of it," Cade called to her over his shoulder as he carried the box to the area Zach had specified. "And what is all this? Are you letting him stay with you until he's got a place of his own?" Honey asked Zach, her eyes shining as she wrapped her arms around him. "Not exactly. Cade's staying at your place. Actually, it's his place, now. This is your place. That's your stuff he's moving in here," Zach explained. "Wait, what? You're moving me out of my apartment?" Honey asked, getting up and looking into the boxes Cade was moving in. "It's a shitty apartment. My foot went through the floor," Zach said in disgust, walking over and enjoying the view as Honey bent over and tried to pull something out of the bottom of one of the larger boxes. "That's because you stepped on one of the soft spots!" Honey's voice said, muffled by the cardboard. "If you stayed to the path I showed you, it wouldn't have; wait a minute, you just gave my apartment to Cade? What am I going to tell my landlord?" Honey said, dropping whatever it was she was trying to lift out of the box. "I don't think the guy who owns your building's gonna mind; Zach said, scratching his chin and looking around the room with a slight smile. "Of course, he's going to mind! He minds everything! Unless it has to do with a toilet that looks like it's sinking through the floor, he; wait a minute; Zach, did you just buy my apartment building?" Honey asked, pulling her head out of the box and frowning at him. "It was really cheap. Saved them the cost of condemning it, really," Zach said with a shrug, taking her hand and pulling her against him. "I'll have Terry and Cade fix it up, rent it out. Maybe find some more guys that need a break; Cade's got some contacts at the homeless vets place." "What, so Cade's one of your guys now, too? Like Terry? I was going to make Cade my Terry! You took my Terry?" Honey asked. "Well, it's not like you knew what to with him, anymore. I have Cade training with us for next year's race, too. I'll make him carry Terry when he gets a hangnail or some other damn thing," Zach said. "Took my apartment; actually my whole apartment building; and you took my Terry. Didn't even ask. I can't believe this," Honey grumbled. "Just so you know, one of these days, I'm gonna need you to marry me and have some babies, too. Good ones, okay? None of those 'well, maybe they'll grow out of it' babies," Zach said. Honey bit her lips like she was hiding a smile and crossed her arms, "That's not how you ask someone to marry you; she said, trying to sound more upset than she felt. "I wasn't asking. Now, was I?" Zach said, lifting her over his shoulder and giving her bottom a spank before carrying her back to the living room. "Do you remember that time I slapped you and called you an 'overbearing ass?' This; Honey said, gesturing to their entire situation, "This is what I was talking about." "Hmm," Zach said, putting her down on her feet, then stretching back on the sofa, making a space for her under his arm, as he turned on the TV. Honey huffed in disgust, but curled up against him anyway, taking the remote and turning it to a movie she liked, just to make a point. Zach only smiled, pulling her closer with his arm. "That apartment was mine; she mumbled, the warm rise and fall of his chest and the steady beat of his enormous heart already lulling her to sleep. Zach smiled down at Honey, stroking a lock of hair away from her face, grateful and relieved that she hadn't put up more of a fuss. Leaning down, he kissed the top of her head, "Yeah, well; so am I. Happy Valentine's." Based on a post by Lingering Afterthought [https://www.literotica.com/authors/LingeringAfterthought/works], in 3 parts, for Literotica.

Elf on a Shelf: Part 2

ELF ON A SHELF: PART 2 LIFE IN HOB-ALONG MODE. Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought [https://www.literotica.com/authors/LingeringAfterthought/works], in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast [https://archive.org/download/Spring-2025/ElfOnAShelf2.mp3] at Steamy Stories [https://feeds.feedburner.com/steamy-stories]. [https://archive.org/download/Spring-2025/ElfOnAShelf2.jpg] When she woke the next morning, Zach was standing next to the bed with a pain pill and a glass of water. "Terry's gonna be here in about half an hour. I could make you some breakfast?" he said, putting the pill and the water into her hand. Honey shook her head, feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. "I'd; I'd like to take a shower before I go; if that's okay," she asked. "Right; uh; I'll just set it up for you. I'll get your things together after you're done in there; if you still want to go, that is; Honey closed her eyes and nodded, "Thank you," she whispered, unable to look at the silent pleading in his face. When the shower was ready, Zach carried her down the stairs and set her down in his large walk-in shower on the bathing chair he'd set up for her. "I, uh; I warmed up the water. The; soap and shampoo stuff is right here," he said, gesturing to a collection of bottles put down within her reach. "If you need anything, I'll be right; right here," he said, sitting down on the toilet, looking like he didn't know what to do with his hands. Honey nodded and took off her nightgown and panties, putting them on the floor outside the shower. She leaned down and began unwrapping the velcro the straps on her boot, finding that she couldn't reach the last one. She opened her mouth to ask for help, but Zach was already sliding the door open to undo it for her. When he disassembled the boot around her foot and lifted it away, a slight whimper escaped her when the motion bumped her ankle slightly. Zach's eyes flashed to hers as she tried to cover herself with her arms, "I'm okay," she whispered. Clenching his jaw, Zach nodded, stood and left the stall. The water felt like heaven after the sad sponge baths she had given herself in bed. Her skin came alive in the heat and flushed a deep pink. "Is that too hot? You're getting red," Zach said, standing next to the door looking concerned. "No; it's perfect," she sighed. She twisted around to reach the shampoo and tipped it over, groaning as she watched it roll out of reach. Zach reached into the stall and returned it to her, growling in annoyance as he watched her try to squeeze some out with only one fully functional arm. Soon, he stepped into the shower with her, clad only in his underwear. "I don't know how you think you're going to do this by yourself; he grumbled, glaring at her as he massaged the shampoo into her long hair. "I'll figure it out; put a folding chair in the tub or something," she said, trying not to notice that the fabric of his underwear was leaving nothing to the imagination the wetter it got. "A fucking folding chair will slip. I'll send this one with you. You still can't reach shit, though." "I haven't done this before. I'll get better as I go." "Yeah, but until then, you'll; Look, you need to give me a call when you; so that I know you're okay." "You wouldn't be able to hear me talk; the water makes this growling noise," she said. "Well, why the fu; never mind. You call me before and after. No longer than 10 minutes, or I send Terry." "And he just does whatever you tell him? You're really kinda bossy." "Glad we sorted that out. Put your head back." With a smirk, Honey leaned back, letting him support her with his arm as he rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. After one minute, Zach began swearing under his breath. "I've been rinsing this shit out of your hair forever and there's still more! How the fuck is this possible?" Honey began giggling, despite the pain it caused her shoulder. "I guess you should allow me longer than 10 minutes to shower, then; she murmured. "Ten fucking minutes, or I send Terry." "Do you have any conditioner?" "Any what?" "Never mind," Honey said, trying to control her face. When he finally released her from being rinsed, Honey grabbed the loofa and put some body wash on it, washing what she could reach with her right arm while Zach glared down at her. "Oh, for fuck's sake," he grated, roughly taking the fluffy sponge from her and then washing her with surprising gentleness. When he delicately supported and washed her broken ankle, he waited until he finished before looking up at her, "Remember, doctor says you can take off your boot for a while now and then, so that should help with the smell. I'll pack the extra sock so you can put a clean one on and wash the; well, just how the fuck are you going to do the laundry?" he asked, as if she created the concept of dirty laundry just to bother him. "Hand wash?" she suggested. "That won't work for these boot socks! They smell like gangrene or some shi;" "Well, now you're just flirting; she said, smiling up at him. For a moment Zach's face went completely blank, his eyes slowly traveling down her naked body as his face turned bright red, then he turned away and cursed under his breath again. "Grab onto my arm and I'll finish you up," he said, clenching his jaw and holding out his forearm to her, as he diligently looked away. Cautiously, she took his arm and tried to stand, rising wobbly on her left leg. Before she could gain her balance, her hand slipped on his wet arm and he pulled her tightly against him before she could fall. Body to body, they clung on to each other in the hot spray, each of them shaking. "Honey; you may notta noticed, but I'm hanging on by a fucking thread, here," Zach said quietly in her ear, "Try not to get yourself killed for two seconds." Honey nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist so that he could move his arms again. She felt him move the loofah between her legs and begin washing her private area, looking around the shower stall as he did. When Honey cringed and her breath hissed between her teeth, he stopped, "What's wrong?" he asked, looking down at her face. "It's; rough; she said, quietly. "Yeah, but it was fine when; oh; right; sensitive. Okay; he said, swallowing as he tossed the loofah aside and hesitantly reached his fingers between her legs. Honey leaned her forehead on his chest and closed her eyes, gasping when his fingers made contact. "Is that; is that okay?" he asked. She nodded and tried to move her legs further apart for him. Zach gently washed her, trying to think of sports scores, laxative commercials, or the accounts payable at the club, but inevitably his cock noticed that he was holding the woman of his dreams naked in his arms. When she shifted against him, trying to keep her balance, a breathy grunt escaped him as she inadvertently rubbed against him. "I'm sorry; she whispered, trying to give him more room. "Don't be; you're perfect; it's fine; he said, trying to think about anything but how it would feel to slide his cock between her slippery lips right at that moment. "Let me just get the; water; he gritted, reaching for the shower sprayer and directing it between her legs. Honey gasped and whimpered as the water pulsed against her clit, down her labia and over her anus again and again, feeling Zach's eyes on her as he did it, intensely absorbing her every reaction. She trembled as she held on to him, trying to remain calm. Finally, she raised her eyes up to him and opened her wet lips and whispered, "Zach; ?" "Hey, how do you guys want your eggs?" Terry asked, sticking his head into the bathroom. "Get The Fuck Out Of Here, Maggot!" Zach roared, as Honey squealed and released him, quickly ducking down to where Terry couldn't see her on the shower chair. "Scrambled, it is," Terry said, ducking out of the bathroom and leaving them alone again. Zach watched Honey begin to shiver as the room cooled off and handed her a towel. "Let me know when you're dry and I'll wrap up your leg again," he said, looking around the bathroom uncomfortably before wrapping a towel around his waist and taking off his wet underwear from underneath. After securing her ankle in the air cast, Zach carried her back up to the bedroom, turned his back to her, and blocked Terry's kitchen view of the loft as Honey dressed. When she finished, Zach turned around again, his mouth hardening into a grim line when he saw she had put on her elf dress again. "You're; going, then," he said, frowning as he watched her wince at the pain in her shoulder as she tried to tie the thick red ribbon belt behind her back. He stepped behind her and took the belt out of her hands and began brusquely tying it. "I want you to stay," he said to the back of her head, tugging the loops into a tight knot. Honey hobbled around to face him, "Enough to tell me why you wanted to send that message to someone?" she asked him, her dark blue eyes somber. "You; you wouldn't want to stay if I did," he murmured, stroking the soft velvet covering her arms. "Then, I guess I should go," she said, looking away before she could start crying again. "Wow, nice apartment!" Terry said, following Honey inside her apartment with the bag of her clothes. "The blood stains really bring the room together; "Say what you will, it's all mine," she said, hobbling over to the sofa and curling up, exhausted. "Here's your mail. I gotta text Zach, he's going nuts; well, more than usual, anyway," he said, handing her a stack of envelopes. "Arrived at hellhole; Angel has typhoid; the tweakers give their love; send food stamps," he said aloud, typing into his phone as Honey went through her mail. "Let me go set up the bath chair; just the thing to class up the joint," he said, disappearing to the bathroom. When Terry returned, he found Honey white as a sheet, reading a letter. "Whoa, kid; you okay? Need a pain pill? Let me take you back to Zach's. You look like you really do have typhoid; he said, kneeling down next to her. "Um; yeah, I'm fine," she said faintly, then cleared her throat. "Would; would you mind taking that laptop with you when you go deliver the charity gifts to the firm? They; asked me to send it back; probably upgrading; she said, quickly wiping the tears off her cheeks. Terry watched her for a long moment, his face grim, and don't mention it to Zach?" he finished. "Um; probably not?" Honey choked. "Ah, Honey; you have hospital bills. This is where a sensible person starts telling themself, 'Hey self, maybe I should go back to that really great guy that wants to take care of me," Terry said, closing her laptop and wrapping the power cord around it. "If he's such a great guy, why does he send people messages like this?" she asked, holding up the screenshot to him. After staring at the screen for a while, Terry let out a low whistle, "Now, see, Zach just puts it right out there. You gotta respect that. No wonder he got so much ass. He send this to you?" "He said he meant to send it to someone else, but what are you talking about? He sent this to me on our first date when he went to the restroom! I thought he wanted to kill me!" Terry canted his head and looked at the screenshot again, "Oh; yeah, I could see that. Especially if you got it without the dick pic," he said, nodding sympathetically. "No, see, this was sort of a sex S O S, if you will. A guy goes out with a girl like you, it's like a high-wire act. He gets all wound up, needs to blow off some steam, sends out a flare hoping someone can help him take the edge off things so you don't find out what a high-strung, rough sex freak he is. You're a big deal. He just didn't want to scare you off, Angel," Terry explained. "He; he wanted to go have sex with someone else after our date??" Honey yelled, incensed. "Only because he *liked* you so much!" Terry argued, winsomely. Just then, Honey's phone rang in his hand and he tapped the screen, "Honey's phone!" he answered. "Don't Ever Talk To Me Again!" Honey yelled at her phone when she saw it was Zach's number. "Ah yeah?" Terry said, holding the phone to his ear. "Yeah. Right. Be right over," he said, disconnecting the call and handing the phone back to Honey. "What did he say?" Honey asked, grinding her teeth. Terry leaned over and flipped her phone back to the screenshot that had frightened her so much, "Yeah; pretty much that; just without the sex. See you when I get out of the hospital, kid," he sighed. During the next week, Honey took a bus to the city hall offices and applied for unemployment, used the library computers to send out her resume and read her email, and got no calls whatsoever from Zach. Gatsby's, however, started having trouble with their delivery service and three meals a day were accidentally delivered to her disreputable apartment. When she called Gatsby's about it, she was assured they were working on it and were sure to fix the delivery service problem; as soon as they got a delivery service. The following week, Honey got a knock at her door. Promising herself she would open the door only for the pleasure of slamming it shut in the visitor's stupid, handsome face, Honey hobbled up and looked through the peep hole. It wasn't who she expected, though. "Um, hi; she said, opening the door a bit and tightening her robe. "Hi Honey, I'm Jeff. You probably don't remember;" "I remember you," Honey said, opening the door wider. "Please come in." "Thank you," he said, coming in and standing with his coat over his arm as she hobbled back to the couch. "Jeff, I always wanted to call Gatsby's and thank you; you know, for what you did," Honey said. "For the 'angel shot.' I didn't realize I was on a date with the owner, at the time. I hope it didn't make trouble for you," she said. "You're kidding, right? He fired me on the spot," Jeff laughed. "Oh no; she said, covering her face with her hands. "Oh, I'm so sorry." "No, it's okay. He hired me back as a manager a couple weeks ago. Said anyone who had the balls to do what it took to protect you, even from him, that was someone he wanted taking care of his customers. Actually said that, looking back, if you had been scared enough to ask someone for help back then and they *didn't* help you, well, he'd probably want to go find them and; and; well, the details don't matter, and they're probably illegal, anyway. The point is, we're good." "Oh, that's; that's good to hear. Is this about the delivery service problem, then?" "We don't have a delivery service." "Well, yeah, I know. I mean the meals that Zach is making you send me." "Um; I'm probably going to get my life threatened for telling you this, but we're not sending you meals. Zach's popping in and out with a lot of takeout boxes under his arm, but Gatsby's isn't sending you any meals, Honey. That's; that's all Zach." "Oh; Honey said, her cheeks warming. "Yeah, no I came to ask if you'd be interested in a job." Honey laughed, "I appreciate it, but don't think I'd make much of a waitress right now." "Actually, I kinda had something else in mind; Honey's heart pounded as the music swelled and she felt the platform descend, her legs dangling down clad in candy cane striped stockings and curled-toe shoes. Her dress was the same pink velvet and white fur trim costume as before, but the fabric was far more luscious and expensive than the dress she'd worn in the mall. It had arrived at her door with a seamstress tasked with making it fit flawlessly. Honey's eyes were closed out of habit, getting ready to sing for the clientele of the great room as Gatsby's "Elf on a Shelf." She knew he was out there. He always came out of hiding when she sang. A smile curled across her face as she felt the spotlight warm her body. She opened her eyes. After the show, Honey stripped off her tights and a stage hand gave her the air cast as soon as the platform had risen out of sight. Gingerly, she eased her leg back into the boot and began strapping herself in again. As she reached the last fastener, two large hands took the straps out of hers and began wrapping them expertly. Honey blushed and looked aside as Zach did it, and tried not to roll her eyes when he checked the other two straps to be sure she had secured them properly. His eyes wandered over her with nervous adoration, like he still couldn't quite convince himself she was real; even after the mundane work of feeding her, dressing her, and cleaning her all those days up in his loft. "Did you like the show?" she asked quietly, looking up at him with a small smile. Zach sighed with relief, having received tacit permission to speak to her again. "Yes," he said. "Did you really like it?" she asked, her eyes twinkling, her smile growing bigger. "I really; really liked it," Zach said, nodding and pulling at the collar of the dress shirt that was having trouble containing him. He seemed to have only grown larger in their weeks apart. "So much that you want to go have rough sex with somebody else tonight?" she asked, her large and deceptively innocent, twinkling eyes skewering him. Zach's mouth set, "I; I don't do that anymore. I exercise," he said quietly, reddening and looking away from her. "Oh; I see," Honey said, nodding. Ignoring the hands he offered her, Honey rolled herself onto her good knee and clumsily pushed herself back up into a standing position, her skirt flashing him as she rose. "What the fuck is that?" Zach yelled, pulling her skirt up to where a large purpling bruise was blooming on her hip. Honey bit her lips and forced her face to stop grinning before she turned and faced him again. "What's what?" she asked innocently. "What the hell do you think? That fucking huge purple ass-shiner you're walking around with! Where the fuck did that come from?" he roared. "Oh, that? I slipped. You know, it's icy out there; she said brightly, patting his chest and hobbling past him to her dressing room. Zach clenched his hands and followed her, growling things under his breath that would make a sailor blush. She wobbled into the dressing room, leaving the door open behind her, wondering if he would follow her in. He didn't, but instead stood there in the doorway glowering at her like a gargoyle as she pulled some clothes out of a large Gatsby's takeout bag. Honey's ribs were beginning to hurt from trying not to laugh. Honey breath hissed through her teeth as she reached behind her, fumbling with the knot of her wide red ribbon belt, her shoulder still healing from the dislocation. Before long, she heard muttered curses and large feet stomp into the room and push her hands aside, untying the belt for her. She smiled her thanks up at him over her shoulder, and moved her hair aside so he could help her with the zipper. Carefully, he smoothed some more of her hairs aside and slowly lowered the clasp. "So, um; how would it have worked?" she asked quietly, the softness of her voice making him lean in to hear her. Zach cleared his throat, "How would what have worked?" he asked, his breath falling warm on her neck as he tried to unclasp the tiny hook at top of the dress with his large fingers. "If we'd gotten together that night; if I'd never got that message," she said. Zach closed his eyes and shook his head. "I would've taken you home. Maybe tried for a kiss at your door, if you looked like you wanted it," he said, his voice hoarse. "Cheek or lips?" she asked. He sighed, "Who am I kidding? I would've passed out from not breathing by the time I got that close." "And those; other things; would you have wanted to do those things to me? To hurt me; to scare me?" she asked, her voice shaking. Zach turned her to look her in the eye, and she wrapped her arms around herself, keeping the unzipped, loose elf dress from falling down. "No Honey," he swore, shaking his head emphatically, cupping her face and holding her tightly. "God no. Never. Never ever. I would've never let you see that side of me. I'd give it up. I gave it up. I'd go run ten miles before I even;" his impassioned vows were interrupted by a loud crack as a delicate hand slapped him across the face. "How dare you?" Honey said, trembling with fury before she winced and cradled her hand to her chest as Zach blinked slowly in disbelief, trying to process what had happened. "That's for deciding you'd just have a boring, unsatisfied sex life with me without even asking what I wanted, you; you overbearing ass! That's for offering only a part of yourself to me! That's for ruining our beautiful date because you were ashamed of the man I lo;" Honey's uncharacteristic rage was interrupted by Zach's mouth descending on hers and claiming it furiously, pressing her against the wall as her dress fell to the floor. The kiss ended almost as quickly as it began, and Zach pulled away from her, his face a twitching, terrifying storm as he stared down at her. He wrapped his hand around the slender wrist of her only functional arm and pressed it to the wall over her head. "You don't hit me like that; ever," he said quietly, breathing hard through flared nostrils. Honey trembled, staring up into his blazing eyes almost panting against him in terror; but also in something else. The corner of Zach's mouth curled when he saw her deep blue eyes dilate hugely, a heady, familiar scent rising up between them. "You don't fucking hit anyone like that; goddamn amateur. You wanna break your wrist? Jesus Christ. Get your ass dressed and I'll take you home, you little freak," he growled, turning around to give her privacy and hide the huge smile he couldn't stop from covering his face. When Honey came up panting for air, she was pressed against the wall of Zach's loft as he fumbled with the locks of his door with one hand. She was making good progress at getting his shirt off, but it kept bunching up around his arms, and the cuffs were still a problem she didn't even want to think about. Even so, she was blissfully occupied with the acres of warm bare skin and muscle that she had excavated. "This isn't my home; she said, looking around bewildered, "why does everyone get my address wrong?" "Probably because they've blocked it out after seeing your place. Shut up and tell me what you want," Zach said, carrying her over to the stairs until he saw a bit of her lower lip he needed to bite and had to take a break to do it properly. "Look, don't give me names, because then I'd have to kill 'em, but tell me what makes you hot, Honey; we're gonna do all of it and more. I'm making your dreams come true, tonight," he said, winding his hand in her hair as she dropped her head back to give him her neck. "Oh! Um; I liked it when;" "No names," he reminded her, covering her mouth. "Right; well, this one guy, he um; he wore a towel around his waist and bent over his dresser to look for his underwear? And this other time, he held this spoon out to me and I opened my mouth and he fed me. And; and; um; in the shower, he; he held me against him in the water and;" "Honey, are all these stories gonna be about me?" "Um; yeah?" "That's sweet of you, tryin' to keep me outta jail and all, but I need you to get to the part about cock and pussy. Stories about me aren't gonna help that. Cock, pussy, tongue, ass, tits, ears, neck, taint - what do you like?" he asked "Right; uh; I liked it when you washed me down there; my pussy; with your fingers?" Honey said, at a loss. Zach drew his head back from her neck and looked at her, his face growing uneasy. "Honey?" "And when you sprayed the water back and forth down there, especially the top bump part, that really made me feel amazing, kind of squirmy, you know?" "Oh Jesus; he said, looking as if he'd been hit in the head. "And um; I know I wasn't supposed to look, but your um; you know; p-penis; in the shower, when your underwear got wet? That was" "I don't feel so good; he said, lowering himself to the floor and sitting down on the stairs. "No, no, it's fine. We can do this. What's a taint and what do I do with it?" she asked, sitting down and cuddling up next to him. Zach held his head in his hands, "You're a virgin; not like an "everything but" Evangelical, but like an alien or something. I don't know if I can do this." "Look, I know how to have sex; I had health class, for Pete's sake!" she said, slapping his shoulder. "What the fuck did I just get myself into?" he said through his hands. Honey pulled his hands down from his face and climbed up in his lap, putting his arms around her and looping her arms around his neck. "Zach; I have been a very good girl; not just this year, but for a long, long time. I figure that makes it so I can ask for something really big. So, here's what I want: I want you and me; just being together. Not planned or rehearsed or trying to be impressive. You already impress me. You're the best person I know. You took care of me when you hated me. You took care of me, even when I hated you. I just want to see what it's like if we let go of all that and just; you know; love. Will you give me that for Christmas, Santa? Please?" she asked, leaning in and kissing his cheek softly. "I've; never done that before," he said stiffly, looking sideways at her, unable to turn his head. "I'll be gentle with you," she whispered, smiling and brushing her lips against his. Climbing down from his lap, she took his hand in hers and led him up the stairs; until he lost patience with her hobbling and lifted her in his arms, carrying her to the top. Honey smiled as he gently lowered her feet to the floor, then took his hand and worked on the buttons of his cuff, "You're really big, but you don't do that big guy thing where you act like nothing matters. You notice everything; I like that," she said, glancing up at him. Zach frowned, watching her and then looking around the room, uncomfortable. "That's just; you gotta do that. You can't just throw your weight around without knowing where it's going. You're gonna hurt someone that way," he demurred, unbuttoning the cuff for her and tugging the other loose, as well. "You give a lot, but you're not a show-off about it; you didn't even let me know it wasn't Gatsby's sending food to me," she said, pulling his shirt down off his shoulders, pressing her face into his back to smell him. "You needed protein, calcium, and vitamin D to build those bones again -- that ramen shit you eat wasn't gonna give you enough of anything; just empty carbs and fuckin' sodium," he argued, putting his hands on his hips and scowling at her. Honey smiled and nodded, unbuckling his belt and slowly pulling it out of the loops. Zach swallowed, "You; you also needed vitamins C and K, so I made sure you got things like broccoli and fish and citrus; not; not everybody knows that," he said, drawing a shaky breath. "I didn't know that," she said, separating the hook and eye of his trousers and unzipping them, smiling when he cleared his throat and breathed faster as she lowered them. "You're smart, but you don't need everyone to know about it. You watch how people treat you when they think you're simple, instead; you want to know who they really are." Zach pulled his legs out of his trousers and laid them carefully over the chair, glancing over to the closet where he really wanted to put them instead. Honey smirked and turned to go get a hanger for him, and he swept her down onto the bed instead, going to get the hanger for himself and carefully hanging his pants to avoid any creases. Zach returned to the bed, standing in front of her knees where she sat, waiting. Honey moved her hands curiously over his hips and thighs, feeling the strength, the hours of toil and exertion he put them through; so that he could have control and be gentle when he needed to be. "You care about what I want; she said, swallowing and slowly sliding his underwear down his hips, gasping in surprise when his cock bounced out and waved at her. "You care about it even when you think I'm wrong; and it makes me love you so much; she said, trailing off and blushing. "You; got my clothes off," he said, looking down at her, his face a mix of bewilderment and wonder. "I guess you see all of me, now," he said, blushing for the first time since she'd known him. Smiling, she pulled her dress over her head and tossed it aside. She winced, reaching back trying to un-do her bra, and instead of helping her as usual, Zach narrowed his eyes, tilting his head. "You do that on purpose, don't you? Doing shit that hurts right in front of me instead of asking me for help. Showing off that fucking bruise to me at the club. Showing me what happens when I can't take care of you; you actually get off on driving me crazy," he said in outraged realization. "You really want to do that rough sex stuff on me, now, don't you," Honey said, her eyes alive with mischief. "Like you wouldn't believe; he said, flipping her over, straddling her back and unclasping her bra. Honey squealed and giggled when he laid himself out over her back, careful to avoid her shoulder and ankle. "You feel that cock, all hard and ready on your panties and between your legs down there? You don't get him now, brat," he growled, pushing her hair aside and biting the back of her neck. "Not until you beg me." "Okay! Please?" she asked, giggling. Zach looked over at her, trying to hold a stern face, "Yeah, that's not how this works. The way this works is, I make you want it so much that you think you're going out of your mind, and *then* you beg me." "Okay!" she chirped. "Oh, fucking hell; he grumbled, trying not to laugh. He nipped all over her back, enjoying her squeaks and gasps, wiggling under him as her need grew. She seemed completely unaware of how she was responding to him, but he proudly basked in her every flutter. He kissed down to the small of her back, hearing her breath stop and then resume at a pant when he began to lower her panties. "Zach; Zach; Honey whimpered. "Yes, Honey?" he smiled, kissing the top of the crease of her bottom, flicking it slightly with his tongue. "Does it; does it always go this slow?" she asked, raising her bottom to him and moaning when he slid his fingers through her crack, making her jump and then grab onto his thigh. "Are you in a hurry?" he murmured, stroking his fingers leisurely around her clit and into her vagina, "Some other pressing; engagement?" he asked, pressing his finger against her hymen and laughing evilly at her shocked, yet needful, reaction. "Yeah; it would feel good to have a hot deep cock in there, wouldn't it?" he asked, thrusting gently into her with his finger. "Zach; Honey moaned, squirming under him. "I like that word 'engagement; '" Zach mused idly, "don't you?" he asked, raising one of her knees up to her side, sliding his cock along her crack, wetting it until it glistened in her juices. "Zach, please; please; please; she gasped, feeling him rise up over her again, pressing against her entry, "I need you; she whispered. "I need you, too, Honey. I've needed you for so long; he answered, parting her lips and moving into her with slow, gentle thrusts. Honey trembled under him, holding her breath, feeling him fill her more and more, until with a slight sharp pain, she took him into her. "Oh; oh; oh; oh; she whimpered. "Just breathe, Honey. You're doing great; perfect. I'm not moving till you're ready," Zach said, reaching deep for control. A sheen of sweat broke over him at the sheer effort of holding himself back from plunging furiously into her body again and again and again. "Is; is this the rough sex part?" she breathed, reaching out to touch the hand he was using to keep most of his weight off her. Zach barked out a breathless laugh, clasping her hand in his, "I don't know about you, but this is about as rough as I can take it, tonight. You're fucking killing me, right now. But, being inside you; it's like magic." Honey moved her head and kissed his forearm, "Be inside me again, Zach; she whispered. With a low sigh, he began moving inside her, his hips pressing and rolling against her, his cock stroking a patient rhythm. She sighed with happiness, feeling him explore and claim her at the same time. His lips moved over her neck and back as he leisurely took her, whispering praise and encouragements, waiting for her to adjust to him. Before long, though, his words stopped, his body growing harder around her, his every muscle stiffening as he gripped her hand harder, his thrusts quickening until, with a soft, surprised grunt, he thrust deep and shook as he emptied himself inside her. With explosive breaths, he rolled off her, pulling her against him in the bed. "Well, fuck; he said in disgust between gasps. "Yeah; Honey said, snuggling back against him happily, "that was perfect; Zach snorted, "No it wasn't, you noob. You didn't come. I fucked it up." "What do you mean? What makes you think I didn't come? That felt great! Let's do that all the time," Honey said, turning in his arms so she could smile at him. "I would've felt it if you came, Honey; it gets tight and squeezes you, almost like it's sucking on you; drinking you down; he said, smiling down at her with rueful affection. "Well, I don't know how it's supposed to get any tighter than that was. I think you're expecting too much of me. Maybe I did come; she argued. "Honey, trust me; when I make you come, you'll know about it," he said, reaching down and caressing her clit with his fingers. "Oh, that's nice; you did that in the shower," Honey cooed, moving her boot up over his hips so he could reach her more easily. "I didn't fucking do this to you in the shower. I fucking washed you. I was a fucking gentleman. People cut diamonds with less fucking focus than I had in that fucking shower. I was just taking care of business, then," he grumbled, leaning down to nuzzle her neck. "I guess; I guess, I took advantage of you, then; s-sorry; oh; she said, raising her hips to him as her breathing became irregular, her head tossing from side to side. "Well, unless I'm wrong, you are about to really pay for it in 3, 2, 1" Zach said, when Honey screamed high and long, her hips bucking as she came hard, covering his hand in her sweet nectar and then bursting into tears. Zach held her close as Honey wailed in pain, stroking her body gently, "Yeah; see, that boot can do a lot, but it can't do squat about it when every muscle in your body wants to stiffen up as you come," he said, still soothing her. Honey slapped his shoulder, "That; that was mean! Don't you ever make me come again!" she panted against him, her face still twisted in slowly receding pain. "Uh huh; Zach said, glancing at the alarm clock on his nightstand, "we'll see how long that lasts, you little freak," he said with a smirk, leaning down to kiss her tears away.  To be continued in part 3, Based on a post by Lingering Afterthought [https://www.literotica.com/authors/LingeringAfterthought/works], in 3 parts, for Literotica.