Three ways to manage hurt feelings in conflict 142

Three ways to manage hurt feelings in conflict 142

Feelings are often hurt in conflict, and it's tempting to blame the other person for hurting you. Whether you are 100% at fault for the conflict or did nothing wrong, you can feel hurt. Here are conflict competent ways for you manage the hurt, and improve the quality of your relationships. Show notes:  Episode 118: When you feel self defensive, use these conflict competencies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muXjimrv2mU&t=37s Episode 125: Heroes and villains don't fight about their worldviews (but you really should) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0k1JF8TB4g&t=2s Send us a text. We love hearing from you. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2411114/fan_mail/new] Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

Two small shifts that make big conflict improvements 141

There are two parts to your conflict competence practice; 1. your actions and 2. your attitude. If you change one of them, you will affect the other.  Start small, think of one action or belief to change, do that and see how a small change in your belief changes your conflict. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2411114/fan_mail/new] Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

The hidden superpower of conflict competence 140

You're building conflict competencies to use in conflicts. But, these conflict skills actually apply every place you go, with everyone you meet, in every context and to every situation. While you practice conflict competencies for conflicts, you incidentally improve even your calm relationships. The hidden bonus is that you can use conflict competencies anywhere, which incidentally improves the quality of your life. What are those skills we call conflict competencies? Here's a partial conflict competence checklist, and there are more you can find in prior episodes. show notes: Partial list (in no particular order) of conflict competencies we’ve posted episodes about, include: mindset, clear communication,  perspective taking,  showing curiosity,  reframing,  staying nondefensive.  not jumping to conclusions,  testing your assumptions,  being aware of how your biases and your blind spots (we all have them) affect you,  recognizing the patterns that keep you stuck in conflict,  asking questions, not rushing to solve problems before you know the right problem to solve. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2411114/fan_mail/new] Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

How to make allies out of people who disagree with you #139

Are you finding it hard to be with people whose personalities and perspectives are different than yours? Maybe your inner conflict holds you back, and maybe difficult people create your conflict. We give you tips for thinking of difficult people as allies rather than as adversaries, because they're helping you improve your conflict skills. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2411114/fan_mail/new] Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

Why you shouldn't have that hard conversation 138

Disagreements on divisive topics are everywhere now. Perhaps you've been told that you should have conversations that feel hard, uncomfortable, or awkward. But does every hard conversation need your input? What if you have valid reasons to not have that hard conversation? This conflict competence is knowing the value of engaging in hard conversations, and balancing that value with the wisdom of not engaging. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2411114/fan_mail/new] Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.