Crying Out Loud with Dr. Laura Berman

When Falling Apart Leads to True Healing

Why does it feel like the more healing work you do, the harder life hits back? You've done the therapy. You've meditated. You've read the books. You've "done the work." And then life hits you with a pandemic, a friend's suicide, a divorce, and a toddler, all in the same week. So now what? In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with Devi Brown, a meditation teacher, podcaster, author of Living in Wisdom, and a self described wounded healer. Devi has spent over a decade studying healing traditions from around the world, but nothing could fully prepare her for the cascade of loss she experienced during the pandemic. What she discovered, in her own words, is that when you stop trying to tape the pieces back together and instead let yourself shatter completely, something miraculous happens: you meet God in the rubble. Devi is warm, radically honest, and refreshingly un precious about pain. She doesn't promise that meditation will make it all go away. Instead, she offers a guide for staying present, feeling the feelings society tells you to hide, and finding tiny, daily moments of joy even when your heart is at the bottom of the ocean. In this episode, I also share my own journey of losing my son Sammy and then navigating my eldest child's suicidal crisis, and how that "assignment" forced me to finally build a relationship with God. Devi and I explore why the original wound is always the root, why awareness is only the first step, and how mudras  can unlock energetic channels you didn't even know were closed. In this episode, we explore: * What it's like to lose a friend to suicide and a marriage in the same week while parenting a toddler during a pandemic * Why the more healing work you do, the harder life sometimes seems to hit back * The difference between self esteem and self worth, and why worth cannot be earned * How to outsource your emotional safety from people to God even if you weren't raised with faith * The tiny joys practice and how a leaf, a copper dish, and sunlight through smoke can save your life * Why your original wound is the queen bee and how healing it dissolves everything else * The trap of intellectualizing your feelings instead of actually feeling them in your body * What mudras are and how simple hand positions open energetic channels you didn't know were closed * Why meditation often makes you angry or restless at first and why that's actually a good sign * The difference between chasing happiness and recognizing enoughness * How bearing witness to deep sorrow creates more capacity for real joy * What it means to be a wounded healer and why God sometimes commands you to be on your knees * The guilt and surrender of watching a child struggle with suicidal thoughts after already losing another child * Why you don't need to know what God looks like to start a real relationship with the divine * What it feels like when advanced meditation becomes deeply pleasurable and even euphoric Devi Brown is someone who has done the work  not the performative kind, but the real, on-your-knees, let-it-all-shatter kind. You can find Devi Brown on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/devibrown/], tune into her Deeply Well Podcast [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/deeply-well-with-devi-brown/id1458578448], or join the Presence app for her daily meditations. Her new book, Living in Wisdom [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Wisdom-Embodying-Developing-Self-Mastery/dp/1538768224], is available on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Wisdom-Embodying-Developing-Self-Mastery/dp/1538768224]. If you are seeking community, don’t forget the Grief Healing Collective [https://drlauraberman.com/griefhealing] is there for support, connection, and hope. If this episode moves you, share your story or send your questions to cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com [cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com]. None of us are meant to walk these roads alone—let’s feel, heal, and awaken together.

What Bob Saget Taught His Wife About Facing Death and Living Fully

In 2022, the sudden death of Bob Saget made headlines around the world. As the public mourned a legend, his widow, Kelly Rizzo, was grieving her husband with the whole world watching. How do you mourn so publicly, release someone you love, and eventually find love again when you had lost all hope?  In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with Kelly Rizzo, food and travel creator, host of the podcast Comfort Food, and the woman who loved Bob Saget. She is warm, self-aware, and honest about the strange terrain of sudden loss, unexpected joy, and the guilt that seems to follow both. Kelly met Bob the old-fashioned way; he slid into her DMs and fell for him slowly, then all at once. Their marriage was only three years old when he died suddenly in January 2022, after what she describes as the best show of his life. What followed was a grief that was both deeply private and relentlessly public, played out on morning shows with swollen eyes and in quiet moments alone in a kitchen that would never feel the same. In this conversation, Kelly shares what it was like to navigate loss at a level of visibility most of us can't imagine, how she learned everything she knows about grief from Bob himself, and why, four years later, she's finally in therapy and newly, beautifully in love. We also go deep together. I share my own experience of navigating a suicidal child after losing Sammy, and what it taught me about releasing control and trusting my own resilience. And together we talk about what grief does to the people around us, the surprising anchors and the unexpected boats, and why sometimes a hand emoji from John Mayer says everything. In this episode, we explore: * What it’s like to grieve a partner in the public eye while the whole world is watching * The private love story behind Bob Saget and the man most people never saw * Why grief reshapes every relationship and who actually shows up when it matters * The guilt of feeling joy again and how to let yourself love without betrayal * What it really takes to release control after devastating loss * The small moments of connection that can carry you through the darkest time * How to navigate letting go of a shared life while still honoring it * The difference between holding on and staying connected * What it looks like to open your heart again after you thought you never could * How grief, when you move through it, can become a portal into resilience, love, and a more honest life Kelly Rizzo is a force, not because she has it all figured out, but because she shows up honestly for herself and for others, even when it's hard. You can find her on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kellyrizzo/], and tune into her podcast Comfort Food [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/comfort-food-with-kelly-rizzo/id1716987177]wherever you listen. To join her warm and intimate community, check out Comfort Club [https://www.comfortclubonline.com/]. As always, I'd love to hear from you. Share your story or send your questions to cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com [cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com]. And make sure to pre-order my new book, Crying Out Loud [http://drlauraberman.com/cryingoutloudbook], to be supported through loss and learn how to use your pain as a portal of transformation. Also, if you're looking for a place to connect with people who truly understand, the Grief Healing Collective [https://drlauraberman.com/griefhealing] is there for you. None of us were meant to carry this alone. Let's cry out loud together.

What the Dying Can Teach Us About How to Live with Alua Arthur

Why are we so uncomfortable talking about death when it’s the one thing every single one of us will face? We plan weddings. We plan careers. We plan retirement.But when it comes to the end of our lives, most of us are completely unprepared… emotionally, practically, and spiritually. And what if that avoidance is actually costing us something much bigger than we realize? In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with Alua Arthur, death doula, attorney turned activist, and New York Times bestselling author of Briefly Perfectly Human. Her life’s work is built on a powerful truth: when we are willing to look directly at death, everything about how we live begins to shift. Alua didn’t arrive here in a straight line. After building a life that looked right on paper but felt misaligned inside, she found herself in a deep depression that forced her to stop. During that time, she took a trip to Cuba where a chance conversation on a bus with a woman facing terminal cancer changed everything. Talking about that woman’s death brought her back to her own life. Today, as a death doula, Alua provides non-medical, deeply human support to people at the end of their lives and to those who love them. She helps people face their fears, make meaning, and create a more conscious, intentional relationship with dying. But this conversation is not just about death. It’s about how grief itself is a kind of death.How loss reshapes us. And how, when we stop resisting what ends, we can begin to live more honestly, more fully, and more aligned with what actually matters. We talk about what it means to accompany someone to the edge, and what that process asks of us as the ones still here. This is one of those conversations that stays with you. In this episode, we explore: * What a death doula actually does and why this work matters * The moment on a bus in Cuba that changed the trajectory of Alua’s life * How facing death can bring clarity, meaning, and even freedom * Why grief is its own kind of death and how it can transform you * The difference between dying happening to you and dying as a conscious process * What it really means to have a “good death” * Why witnessing death can be both devastating and deeply clarifying * How to support someone who is in the dying process * Why so many people seem to die when loved ones step out of the room * The emotional and spiritual impact of what is left unsaid * What end-of-life planning actually includes (and why it matters now, not later) * How thinking about death can radically change how you live If this conversation moved you, pick up Alua’s book Briefly Perfectly Human [https://www.amazon.com/Briefly-Perfectly-Human-Authentic-Getting/dp/B0CMYKZGFF], it’s part memoir, part manifesto, and a powerful reflection on what it means to be alive. You can find her death meditation series, Grace in Dying [https://www.goingwithgracecourses.com/courses/grace-in-dying]  at her website, Going with Grace [https://goingwithgrace.com/], where you’ll also discover information on death doula trainings, retreats, and ways to engage more deeply with your own mortality. Connect with her on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/going_with_grace/] and LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/alua-arthur], and explore her offerings there.  As always, I'd love to hear from you. Share your story or send your questions to cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com [cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com]. And if you're looking for a place to connect with people who truly understand, the Grief Healing Collective [https://drlauraberman.com/griefhealing] is there for you. None of us were meant to carry this alone. Let's cry out loud together.

Is Grief a Journey or a Language? with John Onwuchekwa

What if the day that broke you… could also be the day that brings you back to life? Most of us think grief is something we move through, step by step, until we’re “on the other side.” But what if that’s not true? In this deeply moving episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with pastor, storyteller, and grief advocate John Onwuchekwa to explore a different truth. One that might completely reframe the way you understand loss. Because according to John, tragedy doesn’t ruin us. Hopelessness does. On April 14, 2015, John’s life split into a before and after when his younger brother Sam died suddenly. What followed wasn’t a neat “healing journey.” It was the unraveling of everything he thought he knew about faith, control, and what it means to survive loss. And then, two years later, on that exact same date… something unexpected happened. A moment John calls a “small wink.” A moment that didn’t erase his grief, but changed the way he carried it. This conversation is about what it really looks like to live with grief, not past it. It’s about questioning the stories we’ve been told, finding language for the unspeakable, and discovering how hope can exist without forcing meaning too soon. If you’ve ever wondered:Am I grieving the “right” way?Why does this still hurt so much?Will I ever feel like myself again? This episode will meet you exactly where you are. In this episode, we explore: * Why the idea of “grief as a journey” can quietly harm more than it helps * The subtle ways we’ve been taught to perform our grief * How storytelling becomes a lifeline in the aftermath of loss * What it means to live “another life” after everything changes * Why grief doesn’t expire… and what that actually means * The difference between numbness that protects and numbness that traps * How loss can dismantle faith and rebuild it into something more honest * Why doubt might be the very thing that deepens your connection to the divine * What it means to speak grief fluently, with just a hint of hope * Why patience is the most underrated (and essential) grief practice * How to truly show up for someone at rock bottom If this conversation resonates with you, check out John’s book We Go On [https://www.amazon.com/We-Go-Finding-Purpose-Sorrows/dp/0310460115] for more insights. You can also explore more of his work at johno.co [https://www.johno.co/] and connect with him on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jawno]. His nonprofit, We Go On Studio [https://www.andwegoon.com/], hosts gatherings in cities around the world for people learning how to live with both grief and hope. As always, I’d love to hear from you. Share your story or send your questions to cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com [cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com]. And if you’re looking for a place to connect with people who truly understand, the Grief Healing Collective [https://drlauraberman.com/griefhealing] is there for you. None of us were meant to carry this alone. Let’s cry out loud together.

The Sixth Stage of Grief: Finding Meaning with David Kessler

What if the most painful part of grief isn’t the loss itself, but the belief that you’re doing it wrong? That quiet voice that says you should be further along… that you should be handling it better… that somehow, if you had done one thing differently, they might still be here… I hear that voice every single day in my work. And I’ve felt it in my own grief too. But here’s the truth: you’re not doing grief wrong. We’ve just been taught to understand it wrong. In this episode, I’m joined by David Kessler, one of the world’s leading grief experts, known for his work on the five stages of grief alongside Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and the author of Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. But to me, David isn’t just an expert. He’s a friend. And he’s the man who stood in my backyard less than a week after my son Sammy died… who sat with my husband and my youngest son, holding our fear and our shame without trying to fix it. When I felt called to go deep into the redwoods to face my own darkness, David was the one who said, “I’ve got them.” He supported my family then, and he remains a steady presence in our lives today. David Kessler isn’t just a grief authority. He’s someone I deeply trust. In this conversation, we pull back the curtain on what healing actually looks like beyond the myths and the stages we’ve been sold. We explore why grief is never linear, why acceptance isn’t a finish line, and why meaning doesn’t come from the death itself, but from the life you live afterward. We explore:  * Why the pressure to “move on” actually keeps people stuck in grief * What the sixth stage of grief really looks like beyond the theory * The subtle mistake people make when trying to “find meaning” too soon * Why grief has no timeline, and what to trust instead * A powerful reframe for guilt that can instantly soften self-blame * What we misunderstand about “prolonged grief” and why it matters * Why old wounds resurface during loss and how to work with them * The difference between surviving your grief and being transformed by it * One belief about healing that quietly holds so many people back * How even the most traumatic loss can eventually become something sacred Don’t forget to check out David’s work at grief.com [https://grief.com/]. His new workbook, Finding Meaning, is available at griefbook.com [http://griefbook.com] and comes with a free three-part class to help walk you through it.  As always, I want to hear from you. Share your story or send questions to cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com [cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com]. And if you need a place to connect with people who truly get it, visit the Grief Healing Collective [https://drlauraberman.com/griefhealing]. None of us were meant to do this alone. Let’s cry out loud together.