Exploring the idiosyncrasies of male friendship, with Andrew McCarthy
“I asked everyone if they were lonely. All the guys my age said 'no, I'm too busy; too much going on.' When I answer that quickly I'm either lying or it's something I'm afraid of.” – Andrew McCarthy
In this episode of Deviate, Rolf and Andrew talk about why Andrew took a USA road trip to reconnect with his friends (2:15); what kinds of friends Andrew sought out, why none of them were public figures, and how loneliness is bad for men's health (8:00); the kinds of men Andrew spoke with in passing on the trip, why Andrew sought out Elvis Presley sites on the road, and how women's friendships differ from men's (17:30); Andrew's takeaways from his road trip, why "showing up" for people is important, and how travel can be the "university of life" (28:00); audience questions about friendships between younger men, the rumored possibility of a St. Elmo's Fire sequel, the task of recording an audiobook, creepy things that happened on the road, and how travel inevitably makes us more open and curious (35:30).
Andrew McCarthy [https://andrewmccarthy.com/] (@AndrewTMcCarthy [https://twitter.com/andrewtmccarthy?lang=en]) is an actor, television director and writer of such books as The Longest Way Home [https://www.amazon.com/Longest-Way-Home-Courage-Settle-ebook/dp/B0061OI0VK], Brat [https://amzn.to/43gdqfl] and Walking with Sam [https://amzn.to/43gdxHN]. His newest book is Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America [https://amzn.to/4bUuu1B].
Notable Links:
* Tips for telling travel stories [https://rolfpotts.com/podcast/travel-writing-andrew-mccarthy/], with Andrew McCarthy (Deviate episode)
* Paris Writing Workshops [https://pariswritingworkshops.com/] (summer learning-vacation classes)
* Travels with Charley in Search of America [https://amzn.to/4c05R3L], by John Steinbeck (book)
* Brat Pack [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brat_Pack] (group of young 1980s actors)
* Elvis Presley Birthplace [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elvis_Presley_Birthplace] (museum site in Tupelo, Mississippi)
* Camps Promising to Turn You into an Alpha Male [https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2026/04/06/the-camps-promising-to-turn-you-or-your-son-into-an-alpha-male] (article)
* Comstock, Texas [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comstock,_Texas] (incorporated community)
* Joshua Speed [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joshua_Fry_Speed] (close friend of Abraham Lincoln)
* St. Elmo's Fire [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Elmo%27s_Fire_(film)] (1985 movie)
* Geoff Dyer [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoff_Dyer] (English author and travel writer)
* Strawberry Hill [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawberry_Hill_(Kansas_City,_Kansas)] (neighborhood in Kansas City, Kansas)
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The Deviate theme music comes from the title track of Cedar Van Tassel’s 2017 album Lu [https://cedarsvt.bandcamp.com/album/lumber]mber [https://cedarsvt.bandcamp.com/album/lumber].
Note: We don’t host a “comments” section, but we’re happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at deviate@rolfpotts.com.