Different, Not Broken

I'm Not Yelling at Him, I'm Yelling In His Direction. If I'm Quiet, You're in Trouble

28 min · 13. maj 2026
episode I'm Not Yelling at Him, I'm Yelling In His Direction. If I'm Quiet, You're in Trouble cover

Description

Here's the thing about asking for help: the ask itself is the labor. And I learned that the hard way during the two worst weeks of my life. My youngest came eight weeks early. I'd just had a C-section. We were running back and forth to the NICU, trying to care for a two-year-old at home, healing from surgery, and keeping an entire life running on fumes. People kept asking, "What can we do?" And we kept saying, "We're fine." Not because we were fine. Because figuring out what to ask for was just as much work as doing it ourselves. And then a woman showed up at my door without warning, without asking, and handed me a gift I'll never forget. And it was the most incredibly simple but caring one imaginable. This episode is also about what happens when I stop talking — which, if you know me, is significantly more terrifying than anything that comes out of my mouth. I talk about productive yelling, why silence in our house is a five-alarm situation, and the very Italian way my in-laws communicate. And in this week's Small Talk, Alison shares a question from Darnell in Atlanta. Mentioned in this episode: Join Quirky

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episode You feel better? That's not the point. Keep the appointment! artwork

You feel better? That's not the point. Keep the appointment!

Keep the appointment. I know. You feel better. You made the appointment when you were really struggling, and now things aren't so bad and it feels unnecessary. You're fine. Probably. Maybe. Here's the thing about neurodivergent brains: they're really good at reaching for help in a crisis, and really good at talking themselves out of it the second the crisis passes. A 24-hour improvement is not a support system. It's just the top of the roller coaster. In this episode, I talk about why you need to keep the appointment even when you feel fine — especially when you feel fine. PLUS: I tell you about the book my dad never finished that I'm going to finish for him someday. It's about Betsy Ross, who apparently owned a brothel, not a sewing circle. History is a lot. AND in Small Talk: Alison shares a question from to Marcus in Chicago, who canceled plans, had a perfect solo day (soup, documentary about bridges, no pants), and then felt guilty about every second of it. TIMESTAMPS 00:00:57 — Dad's Unfinished Book: Betsy Ross's Drawing Room 00:03:07 — The Instruction: Keep the Appointment 00:04:19 — Why We Cancel (When We Finally Start to Feel Better) 00:07:33 — The Roller Coaster: High Points Don't Last 00:08:06 — Build the Support System Before You Need It 00:09:28 — Small Talk: Marcus from Chicago on Canceled Plans and Guilt

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episode I'm Not Yelling at Him, I'm Yelling In His Direction. If I'm Quiet, You're in Trouble artwork

I'm Not Yelling at Him, I'm Yelling In His Direction. If I'm Quiet, You're in Trouble

Here's the thing about asking for help: the ask itself is the labor. And I learned that the hard way during the two worst weeks of my life. My youngest came eight weeks early. I'd just had a C-section. We were running back and forth to the NICU, trying to care for a two-year-old at home, healing from surgery, and keeping an entire life running on fumes. People kept asking, "What can we do?" And we kept saying, "We're fine." Not because we were fine. Because figuring out what to ask for was just as much work as doing it ourselves. And then a woman showed up at my door without warning, without asking, and handed me a gift I'll never forget. And it was the most incredibly simple but caring one imaginable. This episode is also about what happens when I stop talking — which, if you know me, is significantly more terrifying than anything that comes out of my mouth. I talk about productive yelling, why silence in our house is a five-alarm situation, and the very Italian way my in-laws communicate. And in this week's Small Talk, Alison shares a question from Darnell in Atlanta. Mentioned in this episode: Join Quirky

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