122: Catch Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

122: Catch Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Most blow-ups do not come out of nowhere. Your body usually gives you a warning first. In this episode, Tommy breaks down how to notice the physical signs of emotion, name what is happening, and respond before the fire takes over. The goal is not to suppress what you feel. It is to take responsibility for how you carry it into your marriage, parenting, work, and decisions. Highlights: * Why raised voices, defensiveness, and shutdown are often late-stage signals * How to build emotional intelligence.  * Why naming the emotion helps you respond with more control * What to do when your internal fire is running hot * How to rebuild momentum when the fire has gone dim * Why small next steps work better than trying to fix everything at once * How emotional awareness changes difficult conversations at home Practical takeaways: 1. Revisit one recent moment when you snapped, shut down, or numbed out. 2. Identify where you felt the emotion in your body and put a clear name to it. 3. Decide what the moment needed: a pause and long exhale, or one small action to rebuild momentum. Think about the last conversation you wish you had handled differently. Before you judge the reaction, go back and find the first signal your body gave you. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!  Follow on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/durable-dad-with-tommy-geary/id1676678184] Follow on Spotify [ https://open.spotify.com/show/4qdeMYUBw9zz6SlPAQVmFD]

121: Refusing to Change: The Hero's Journey

The call to change usually shows up before we’re ready for it. The hero’s journey is a way to understand career changes, marriage growth, fatherhood, health goals, and the hard decisions men keep putting off.  Highlights: *  Why the “ordinary world” feels safe, even when it’s draining you  *  How avoidance shows up in work, marriage, health, and parenting  *  The difference between being grateful and using gratitude as an excuse  *  Why most men refuse the call before they answer it  *  How mentors, coaches, books, and honest conversations help you move  *  Why the hardest part of the journey is often an identity shift  *  What changes after you stop trying to carry the whole thing alone  Practical takeaways: *  Look at the area of your life where you keep saying, “It’s fine,” when it is not.  *  Make a real commitment: write it down, tell someone, invest in support, or put something on the line.  *  When the hard part hits, don’t treat it as proof you should quit. Treat it as part of the path.  References: • Book - The Power of Myth [https://www.amazon.com/Power-Myth-Joseph-Campbell/dp/0385418868/ref=sr_1_1?crid=35I9QXJ96X2HM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Hy6WBTELrbdZp7orJcSWUcITb57zGpo5exFd7u-rgNensfrH3-jbdmbNENNsi6eC0wnL0Lwm9WHjoqQQSEzwWnJEm-crijd970aqWDb_lyTtQLco6hiutAzUJ69nTFI9iJjuYKqK1b_V3ytVH_-ojSeJOVmKEaN6aXy6EDCHpj3G9NOvG4FHW7yObMXjf9ZokNhtqHg_k5QkOIgr2ffg1qvSWvY092n2jt1wqeefVBg.wGFfwl1-wHco-At_wIwrr3X_LxOJ30_MCWdofNd6NJU&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+power+of+myth+joseph+campbell&qid=1781548573&sprefix=The+power+of+my%2Caps%2C190&sr=8-1] • Podcast - Joseph Campbell Interview on The Tim Ferriss Show [https://tim.blog/2020/08/27/the-power-of-myth-joseph-campbell/] This episode is a reminder that the hero’s journey is not just a movie structure. It is how men change. You leave what is familiar, face what you’ve been avoiding, and come back steadier, clearer, and more honest about who you are becoming. Listen to the episode and look at where you are refusing the call right now. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!  Follow on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/durable-dad-with-tommy-geary/id1676678184] Follow on Spotify [ https://open.spotify.com/show/4qdeMYUBw9zz6SlPAQVmFD]

120: The Inside Game Of Parenting

Most dads don’t lose it because the situation is too big. They lose it because something inside them takes over before they can choose how to respond. In this episode, Tommy breaks down the inside game of parenting: the thoughts, fears, and pressure that show up when your kid is upset, disrespectful, disappointed, or struggling. Wanting your kids to be happy, respectful, successful, and tough is not the problem. The problem is when those desires turn every hard moment into a test you feel like you have to control. Highlights: • Why your kid’s mistakes can feel like a problem to solve • How good intentions can turn into pressure, anger, and overreaction • What is often sitting underneath a dad’s anger • Why small parenting moments can start to feel like big future warnings • How to stay steady without giving in or coming in hot • Why your emotional capacity has to come before your kid’s emotional capacity Practical takeaways: • Pause before you fix, correct, or lecture. • Look for the fear underneath your anger before you act. • Let your kid feel disappointment without making it your job to erase it. The next time your kid sets you off, start with what is happening inside you. Get steady first. Then handle the kid in front of you. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!  Follow on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/durable-dad-with-tommy-geary/id1676678184] Follow on Spotify [ https://open.spotify.com/show/4qdeMYUBw9zz6SlPAQVmFD]

119: The Fight Beneath the Fight: Attachment Styles with Craig Spear

Craig Spear is an entrepreneur, outdoorsman, and co-leader of the adventure trips Tommy runs for men focused on growth, resilience, and deeper connection in their lives.  Find Craig at https://www.thespearmethod.com/ or on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/craigspear/ SHOW NOTES: The fight isn't about how to pack a dishwasher.  It’s usually deeper than the comment, the tone, the silence, or the passive-aggressive jab. In a warped way we fight and pull away because we desire connection and being understood.  In this episode, Tommy and Craig Spear unpack attachment styles and how they quietly shape the way we handle conflict with our wives, business partners, and the people closest to us. They break down the anxious vs. avoidant dynamic, why certain arguments repeat for years, and how men can move toward more secure relationships without turning psychology into an excuse. Highlights: • What attachment styles actually are and where they come from • Why anxious men rush to fix conflict immediately • Why avoidant men shut down and pull away • The “cat and mouse” cycle that keeps couples stuck • Real-life examples from marriage, business, and friendships • Scripts to help de-escalate conflict without avoiding it • The difference between explaining your behavior and weaponizing it Practical takeaways: • Notice your default reaction when someone close to you seems upset • If you lean anxious, practice tolerating space without spiraling • If you lean avoidant, communicate when you’ll come back to the conversation — then actually come back Conflict doesn’t have to become distance. The goal isn’t to avoid hard moments — it’s to stop repeating the same fight in different forms.  If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!  Follow on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/durable-dad-with-tommy-geary/id1676678184] Follow on Spotify [ https://open.spotify.com/show/4qdeMYUBw9zz6SlPAQVmFD]

118: You’re Busy, But Not Getting Anywhere

You’re putting in the work—but without a clear direction, it starts to feel like you’re maintaining instead of building. *  Why most men default into “protection mode” after early wins  *  How success can still feel off day-to-day  *  The difference between a vague desire and a real vision  *  A simple way to build a five-year picture that drives action  *  How one client shifted from burnout at home to being present with his family  *  Why your family needs a vision just as much as your work  *  The small daily decisions that change once the vision is clear  Practical takeaways: *  Define a five-year vision starting with specifics: your kids’ ages, daily rhythm, and home environment  *  Pressure-test your current path with a 10-year lens—where does it actually lead?  *  Align with your wife and build a shared vision you’re both moving toward  If your life feels full but not focused, take an hour this week and define what you’re actually building. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!  Follow on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/durable-dad-with-tommy-geary/id1676678184] Follow on Spotify [ https://open.spotify.com/show/4qdeMYUBw9zz6SlPAQVmFD]