Ep. 89 Freedom Isn't Free: What My Friends Lost and Found When They Came Out Later in Life

Ep. 92 Inside Our 2-Day Couples Therapy Intensive with Dave | Me + Ryan

When Ryan and I posted about doing a 2-day couples therapy intensive, people literally started praying for us. 😂 And I get it. But here's the thing: We weren't falling apart. We went because we were ready to go deeper. And what happened in that room over those two days? It cracked us both wide open in ways I did not see coming. We sat with a therapist named Dave (the Universe keeps bringing that name back to me) who does something completely different from anything I've tried before. IFS, psychodrama, experiential therapy, all of it woven together. We're talking parts work, childhood drawings, standing on literal cards on the floor and trying to physically step into your own adult power. And watching Ryan stand there frozen for 30 minutes, unable to do it, I cried. Because I have been in that exact spot. I know what it costs to finally take that step. This one goes deep. We talk about the hidden parts of us that were built to protect old wounds, why your biggest superpower probably came from your deepest pain, and what it actually looks like to do real inner work when nothing is technically "wrong." 🥹 In this episode, we discuss: * What we learned during our two-day couples therapy intensive * How childhood experiences shape our adult relationships * Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS) and parts work * Navigating perimenopause, aging, and learning to embrace change * The surprising connection between fear, perfectionism, and overwhelm * How greater self-awareness can create healthier, stronger relationships If you've ever wondered why you react the way you do, found yourself stuck in the same patterns, or felt like you're constantly chasing a better version of yourself, I hope this reminds you that healing isn't about becoming someone new. It's about finally understanding who you've always been, with a whole lot more compassion. I love you guys so much. Thanks for being here. ❤️ Here are the key moments from the episode: 00:00 The Couples Therapy Episode That Changed Everything 03:50 What Steve Jobs Knew About Decision Fatigue 07:46 Does Getting Your Period Actually Reset You Emotionally? 11:00 The DMs With a Stranger's Song That Made Heidi Break Down 14:07 The Botox Reel That Made Heidi Question Whether She'll Ever Stop Fighting Aging 18:11 What Hypnobabies Taught Her About Resisting the Things You Can't Control 25:11 15 Years of Therapists, Coaches & On-Site: What Actually Moved the Needle 33:00 Sensory Overload, a Misplaced Pillow, and Why the Room Almost Derailed the Whole Session 40:00 The Drawing Exercise That Forces You to See Exactly Where Your Patterns Were Born 44:08 She Said "Sad" But That Wasn't It. The Word That Finally Broke Through 47:07 The Financial Safety Wound You Didn't Know You Were Carrying (And Where It Really Starts) 51:00 Why Having More Money Will Never Make You Feel Safe, A Financial Advisor Explains 57:37 The Moment Ryan Couldn't Step Into His Own Power And What Was Standing in the Way 1:00:02 This Is Where Real Confidence and Internal Leadership Actually Come From 1:07:00 The Late-Night Breakdown That Proved the Therapy Was Already Working 1:11:00 What's Really Happening Behind the Highlight Reel, Heidi Gets Brutally Honest 1:19:01 Why Not Every Woman Wants to Be Heard, Some of Us Just Want the Solution 1:25:52 The Therapist Who Thought They Were There to Break Up (Funniest Ending) Connect with Heidi: Website: https://heidipowell.net/ [https://heidipowell.net/] Email: podcast@heidipowell.net Instagram: @realheidipowell Facebook: Heidi Powell YouTube: @RealHeidiPowell Train with Heidi on her Show Up App: https://www.showupfit.app/ [https://www.showupfit.app/]

Ep. 91 We’re In Couples Therapy! Healing Old Patterns and Building a Healthier Relationship | Me + Ryan

Yup… we’re doing it. In 2021 I sat across the table From Lewis Howes and his beautiful now-wife, Maria, listening to them gush over their then-new relationship… and how from Day One, therapy was a non-negotiable. Both individually and as a couple, they committed to working on themselves to give such a special union the best chance possible. I’ve never forgotten that. Fast forward to one year ago when I met Ryan, I immediately knew he was special. Our connection was special. And more than anything… it is a thing worth protecting and growing.  Patterns are a real thing. And to be honest, I have more than a bag of destructive patterns…individually and relationally. I’m aware enough to know these days that if I don’t continue to peel back the layers of healing, I will continue to repeat those patterns which have destroyed precious things historically. This podcast is about that. And it’s about how over the last year Ryan and I have both committed to diving in head first. Relationships are mirrors… and sometimes those damn mirrors are hard to look into. But only by allowing the mirrors to be held up, can we become aware of our blind spots and ultimately (hopefully) evolve into two people who can hold a healthy relationship. :) This conversation touches on communication, self-awareness, people-pleasing, vulnerability, and the courage it takes to be fully seen by another person. We explore how our past experiences still shape the way we show up today and why healthy relationships often reveal the parts of ourselves that still need attention. In this episode, we discuss: * Why personal growth doesn't stop when you find the right relationship * The relationship patterns we never want to repeat * How unspoken expectations can create distance and resentment * The challenge of balancing ambition, family, friendships, and connection * What vulnerability actually looks like in a healthy relationship * The fears and insecurities that still show up for both of us * Choosing curiosity over defensiveness during difficult conversations * How growth often begins where comfort ends More than anything, this episode is a reminder that the strongest relationships aren't built by two perfect people. They're built by two people willing to keep learning, keep communicating, and keep choosing each other through every season of growth. Here are the key moments from the episode: 00:00 What Happens When Old Patterns Return 04:03 Why We’re Finally Talking About Long Distance 07:07 Redefining What “Failed” Relationships Really Mean 10:23 Can the Honeymoon Phase Actually Last Forever? 13:19 When Your Partner Notices Every Tiny Shift 16:11 The Fear of Being Fully Seen 18:06 When People-Pleasing Starts Stealing Your Peace 21:56 The Pattern Heidi Refuses to Repeat 26:16 Why We Chose Therapy Before Things Broke 29:21 The Truth About High Expectations in Love 33:36 When Independence Makes Partnership Harder 36:52 Becoming the Average of the Right People 37:43 Losing Yourself to Be Loved 40:10 What Comes Next After the Therapy Intensive 41:47 Why Therapy Is a Tool, Not a Last Resort 43:31 Awareness Is Where Real Change Begins Connect with Heidi: Website: https://heidipowell.net/ [https://heidipowell.net/]Email: podcast@heidipowell.netInstagram: @realheidipowellFacebook: Heidi PowellYouTube: @RealHeidiPowellTrain with Heidi on her Show Up App: https://www.showupfit.app/ [https://www.showupfit.app/]

Ep. 90 Life Update: My Kids, My Late Nights & the Balance I'm Still Figuring Out

This week, I found myself reflecting on the woman I used to be and the woman I'm still becoming. After looking back through photos from the last year and a half, I realized I've slowly let go of some of the habits that help me feel my best. As life gets busier with work, motherhood, friendships, and relationships, I've been asking myself an important question: how do we create space for everything that matters without losing ourselves in the process? In this episode, I share a personal life update and open up about balancing entrepreneurship, parenting, self-care, and the constant challenge of protecting my time and energy. I also reflect on the journey from 18-year-old Heidi, who struggled with self-worth, people-pleasing, and an eating disorder, to the woman I am today. We talk about healing, self-love, creating safe relationships with our children, and one question that completely stopped me in my tracks, what superpower do you have today that was born from trauma? In this episode, we discuss: * Reconnecting with yourself during busy seasons * Why healthy habits matter more than motivation * What I would tell my 18-year-old self * Healing from shame, self-hatred, and people-pleasing * Learning to create safety and trust with your children * Letting go of control as your kids grow up * Why you either win or you learn * Finding the gifts hidden inside difficult experiences If you've ever felt overwhelmed, disconnected from yourself, or wondered if healing is really possible, I hope this conversation reminds you that it gets better. Keep going. I love you guys. Thanks for being here. ❤️ Here are the key moments from the episode: 00:00 Welcome to Heidi’s Lane 04:36 Realising I’ve Been Letting Go of Myself 10:25 The Entrepreneur Struggle No One Sees 13:28 The “Magic” of Movement When You Feel Stuck 15:30 The Moment I Realised No Man Should Love Me More Than I Love Myself 17:12 What 18-Year-Old Heidi Would Think of Me Today 20:25 What I’d Really Tell My Younger Self 24:03 How Cash Is Growing Into a New Role 27:26 The Parenting Advice That Changed How I Listen 30:17 Why You Either Win or You Learn 33:02 The Question That Stopped Me: What Superpower Came From Your Trauma? 36:21 A Challenge to Find the Superpower Inside Your Story Connect with Heidi: Website:⁠ https://heidipowell.net/⁠ [https://heidipowell.net/] Email: podcast@heidipowell.net Instagram: @realheidipowell Facebook: Heidi Powell YouTube: @RealHeidiPowell Train with Heidi on her Show Up App:⁠ https://www.showupfit.app/ [https://www.showupfit.app/]

Ep. 89 Freedom Isn't Free: What My Friends Lost and Found When They Came Out Later in Life

I've been wanting to introduce you to these two for a while now. Chelsea and Emily are two of my favorite people on the planet. They're funny, they're real, they're the kind of women who walk into a room and make everyone feel like they belong. And the moment I started getting to know them, I felt like I'd known them my entire life. But what brought us here — to this couch, to this conversation — is their story. And it's one I think a lot of people need to hear. Both Chelsea and Emily were married to men. Both were navigating life inside a religious community. Both had kids. And both, later in life, discovered something about themselves that changed everything. They came out. And in doing so, they had to lose a lot — their marriages, their identities, their communities — to finally become who they actually were. Freedom isn't free. And this episode is proof of that. This is not just a story about sexuality. It's about what it costs to live honestly. It's about the loneliness of going through something no one around you seems to understand. It's about finding the people who have walked your same road. And it's about what you find on the other side of the hardest thing you've ever done. I walked away from this conversation different. More compassionate. More open. More convinced than ever that the path to real freedom almost always runs straight through the thing you're most afraid of. If you've ever had to lose something — or burn something down — to finally find yourself... this one is for you. We talk about: * What it actually feels like to come out later in life — with kids, a marriage, and a whole identity on the line * How your story can get told for you before you're ready * The loneliness of going through something no one around you has experienced * Finding your people — the ones who have walked your exact road * What it means to finally stop performing your life * How going through hard things makes you less judgmental and more human * Raising kids inside non-traditional families with love, safety, and zero shame * "I reserve the right to change and evolve" — and why that's not weakness, it's growth There's so much laughter in this episode. There's rawness. There are moments that gave me chills. And there are things these two said that I'm still thinking about. This is one of my favorites I've ever recorded. I think you're going to love them as much as I do. Welcome back to Heidi's Lane. ❤️ Here are the key moments from the episode: 00:00 Why This Episode Hits Different  03:14 How Four Strangers Became Inseparable  07:29 Chelsea's Obsession She Couldn't Explain  12:41 Losing Control of Your Own Coming Out Story  18:06 Navigating Divorce, Kids, and Each Other Simultaneously  23:28 Why Emily Kept Saying No to Everything  28:45 Hell Fast-Tracks You to Your Real Friends  34:03 Meeting Someone Who Has Lived Your Exact Life  38:51 The Treadmill Snub That Almost Ended It All  43:17 How Kids Handle Non-Traditional Families Better Than Adults  47:04 Creating a Home Other People's Kids Run To  51:02 The One Phrase That Changes How You Parent  55:30 The People Judging You Are Living It on Delay  59:57 The Airport Security Guard Who Pushed Too Far  01:04:33 The Space Between Reaction and Response  01:09:14 Why Heidi Is Launching a Women's Supplement Line  Connect with Heidi: Website: https://heidipowell.net/ [https://heidipowell.net/] Email: podcast@heidipowell.netInstagram: @realheidipowell Facebook: Heidi PowellYouTube: @RealHeidiPowell Train with Heidi on her Show Up App: https://www.showupfit.app/ [https://www.showupfit.app/] Connect with Emily and Chelsea: Instagram: @em_moves14

Ep. 88 Heidi + Ryan Sitting In a Tree 💋 Part 2!! The REST of the Truth About How We Met 🩷

The REST of the story you’ve all been waiting for…and the one we’ve been waiting to tell!!🥰 Oh to be young(ish) and in love. One year into this relationship, and it’s only gotten better. It’s only gotten safer. It’s only felt deeper. I honestly don’t even know how to explain this episode. What started as part two of the story of how Ryan and I met somehow turned into one of the rawest conversations I’ve ever had on this podcast. We talk about intuition, trauma bonds, nervous system exhaustion, childhood wounds, emotional safety, and what it feels like when you finally meet someone who doesn’t require you to become someone else to be loved. This episode takes you into the middle of one of the hardest seasons of my life, navigating a relationship I knew deep down wasn’t right for me, while simultaneously experiencing a connection that felt completely unfamiliar, safe, honest, and deeply soul-recognizing. We talk about: * Why I kept returning to relationships that hurt me * The breathwork session that changed how I saw my entire life * Learning how much I had shape-shifted inside relationships * The prayer I started saying every single day * Why emotional safety felt so foreign to me * The chaos that unfolded in Ohio * The moment I realized connection was supposed to feel different There’s laughter in this episode. There’s awkwardness. There’s deep vulnerability. There are things I probably never thought I’d say publicly. But more than anything, this conversation is about finally understanding the difference between attachment and peace. If you’ve ever ignored your intuition, stayed too long, questioned your worth, or wondered if healthy love actually exists, I think this episode might hit home for you. Welcome back to Heidi’s Lane. ❤️ Here are the key moments from the episode: 00:00 Welcome Back to Heidi’s Lane 06:23 Ignoring Intuition to Keep the Peace 10:11 Why Heidi Knew Her Real Match Was Coming 15:01 Trying to Break Free From a 12-Time Breakup Cycle 20:06 The First Time Heidi Felt Emotionally Safe 24:16 The Floodgates Opened: Shame, Secrets & Safety 28:34 Voice Notes, Spirituality & No Flirting 30:01 Telling Kyra About the Instant Soul Connection 35:17 The First Phone Call That Lasted Until 4AM 39:25 The Unexpected Love Triangle Moment 42:00 Why Heidi Almost Walked Away 46:08 Helping Ryan Navigate the Hardest Season of His Life 50:05 Why Ohio Made Their Connection Stronger 54:19 How Heidi Finally Knew What Real Connection Felt Like 61:00 Ryan’s Reaction to Heidi’s Letter 66:00 Feeling Fully Free to Be Yourself 69:30 Family, Fear & Knowing This Was Different Connect with Heidi: Website: https://heidipowell.net/ [https://heidipowell.net/] Email: podcast@heidipowell.net Instagram: @realheidipowell Facebook: Heidi PowellYouTube: @RealHeidiPowell Train with Heidi on her Show Up App: https://www.showupfit.app/ [https://www.showupfit.app/]