Hey Gay Boy

Podcast by James Wallis

English

Health & personal development

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20 hours of audiobooks / month
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About Hey Gay Boy

Hey gay boy.This is a podcast about the things nobody warned us about. The quiet shame, the overthinking, the patterns we carried into adulthood without ever being given a name for them.Each episode explores gay identity, mental health, and the psychology of growing up gay. Short, honest, and stripped back. Because some things are better said out loud. Part story, part reflection on what it really means to come out, grow up, and figure yourself out in a world that didn't always make space for you.This podcast is for the gay man who has done the coming out bit but still feels like he's carrying something he can't quite name. The one who looks fine on the outside but knows there's a version of himself he never really got to meet. The one who grew up performing, pleasing, shrinking and is only now starting to unpick why.If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. And you're exactly who this is for.Hey Gay Boy started as a series of short form videos. Honest, spoken word reflections on the nuances of growing up gay. The response was something I wasn't prepared for. Thousands of people telling me they'd never had a name for what they were feeling. That someone had finally said it out loud.The Substack followed. Then came the realisation that some of these conversations needed more than a caption or an article. They needed audio. They needed to feel like a voice note from someone who gets it.So here we are.Each episode draws on psychology, personal experience, and the kind of quiet observations that don't make it into mainstream conversations about LGBT life. We talk about minority stress, shame, self worth, attachment, the inner child, and all the invisible ways growing up gay shapes who we become, long after we've come out.No guests (yet). No panel discussions. Just honest, considered reflections designed to be listened to on a commute, a walk, or one of those evenings when you just need to feel a little less alone in it.Thank you so much for being here,James x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All episodes

11 episodes

7 things therapy taught me

In this episode, I share seven things that three years of therapy taught me about being gay, growing up, and finally getting to know myself. From chasing validation to people-pleasing my way through discomfort, I unpack why so many of us, especially as queer people, learn to perform rather than just exist. And why that exhaustion is often a sign that something deeper needs attention. I talk about the wounded inner child that still shows up in adult relationships, the gay shame that doesn't disappear when you come out, and why being busy, desirable, or constantly seen is rarely the same as actually feeling okay. This is an honest conversation about therapy, identity, and self-worth. A reminder that getting to know yourself isn't about being broken. It's about finally showing up as you. Check out more queer topics in my Substack: https://jameswallis0.substack.com/ [https://jameswallis0.substack.com/] Follow me on Instagram [https://instagram.com/james_wallis] & TikTok too for even more content Want to go deeper? The Hey Gay Boy Substack is where I explore all of this in long form, with thousands of subscribers already in the community. Find it at jameswallis0.substack.com [https://jameswallis0.substack.com/] Come and say hello on Instagram @james_wallis [https://instagram.com/james_wallis] and TikTok @jameswallis_ [https://www.tiktok.com/@jameswallis_] If you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis. [https://buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis] Everything else is at linktr.ee/jameswallis [https://linktr.ee/jameswallis] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

20 May 2026 - 10 min

why rejection breaks us

In this episode, I explore why rejection hurts far more than we give it credit for, and why for so many of us, especially as queer people, it cuts straight to the bone. From being ghosted to the collapse of a relationship you thought was everything, I unpack why the pain isn't just about losing someone. It's about the younger version of you who never felt chosen, wanted, or safe. Drawing on psychology and neuroscience, I look at why the brain registers rejection like physical pain, how childhood wounds and gay shame show up in our adult relationships, and why brushing it off rarely makes it go away. This is an honest conversation about heartbreak, identity, and self-worth, and a reminder that if it hit hard, it was never just about them. ___ Check out more queer topics in my Substack: https://jameswallis0.substack.com/ [https://jameswallis0.substack.com/] Follow me on Instagram [https://instagram.com/james_wallis]& TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@jameswallis_] too for even more content Want to go deeper? The Hey Gay Boy Substack is where I explore all of this in long form, with thousands of subscribers already in the community. Find it at jameswallis0.substack.com [https://jameswallis0.substack.com/] Come and say hello on Instagram @james_wallis [https://instagram.com/james_wallis] and TikTok @jameswallis_ [https://www.tiktok.com/@jameswallis_] If you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis. [https://buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis] Everything else is at linktr.ee/jameswallis [https://linktr.ee/jameswallis] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

13 May 2026 - 13 min

why is the gay community sometimes a bit sh*t?

In this episode, I explore the complicated reality of feeling like an outsider within the gay community, even after coming out. From the unspoken pressure to look, act, and perform a certain way, to the fragility of gay friendships and the loneliness that can exist in the middle of a packed nightclub, I unpack why belonging can feel so elusive. Drawing on psychological frameworks like the Minority Stress Model and the concept of the "wounded child," I examine how early shame, identity-eroding comparison, and validation-seeking behaviours shape our adult relationships and sense of self. This is an honest take on loving a community while also being frankt about the ways it can fall short, and a reminder that you're far from alone in feeling like you don't quite fit in. Want to go deeper? The Hey Gay Boy Substack is where I explore all of this in long form, with thousands of subscribers already in the community. Find it at jameswallis0.substack.com [https://jameswallis0.substack.com/] Come and say hello on Instagram @james_wallis [https://instagram.com/james_wallis] and TikTok @jameswallis_ [https://www.tiktok.com/@jameswallis_] If you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis. [https://buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis] Everything else is at linktr.ee/jameswallis [https://linktr.ee/jameswallis] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

6 May 2026 - 13 min

14 signs you're already healing

In this episode, I'm talking about the quiet, easy-to-miss signs that you're actually further along than you think. Because if you've spent years in survival mode, growth doesn't always feel like power. Sometimes it just feels like going home after one drink because you're tired, or receiving a compliment and saying thank you instead of deflecting it. Want to go deeper? The Hey Gay Boy Substack is where I explore all of this in long form, with thousands of subscribers already in the community. Find it at jameswallis0.substack.com [https://jameswallis0.substack.com/] Come and say hello on Instagram @james_wallis [https://instagram.com/james_wallis] and TikTok @jameswallis_ [https://www.tiktok.com/@jameswallis_] If you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis. [https://buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis] Everything else is at linktr.ee/jameswallis [https://linktr.ee/jameswallis] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

29 Apr 2026 - 6 min

11 small acts to start healing gay shame...this week

gay shame runs deep - and it shows up in more ways than we realise. In this episode, I walk through 11 small, practical acts to help you start loosening shame's grip, stop performing for other people's approval, and reconnect with who you actually are. No big overhauls, no toxic positivity - just honest, doable steps you can try this week. Want to go deeper? The Hey Gay Boy Substack is where I explore all of this in long form, with thousands of subscribers already in the community. Find it at jameswallis0.substack.com [https://jameswallis0.substack.com/] Come and say hello on Instagram @james_wallis [https://instagram.com/james_wallis] and TikTok @jameswallis_ [https://www.tiktok.com/@jameswallis_] If you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis. [https://buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis] Everything else is at linktr.ee/jameswallis [https://linktr.ee/jameswallis] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

22 Apr 2026 - 9 min

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