IHSTS - Ep. 13 - Stop Telling Me You're F*cking Fine

IHSTS - Ep. 13 - Stop Telling Me You're F*cking Fine

What happens when the therapist becomes the client? Megan sits down with Katie and Jay Fillmore — married almost eight years and co-hosts of the podcast Pinkpill Rx — for a couple's-eye view of what it's actually like to sit on the other side of the couch. They get into somatic therapy and Internal Family Systems, how Jay went from "what is this witchcraft" to a full IFS convert, how chronic pain sometimes lives in the body and not just the diagnosis, and how patriarchy screws over men's emotional lives too. Plus: AOL Instant Messenger usernames, teased episodes on cults and divorce, and why "fine" might be the most disconnected word in the English language. Key Timestamps [00:00] Cold Open [00:45] Meet Katie & Jay Fillmore (Pinkpill Rx) [04:14] Fun Question: Your First IM Username [08:10] Setting the Stage: Life on the Other Side of the Couch [09:02] Katie's Origin Story: Divorce, Deconstruction & Finding Therapy [11:21] The Confrontation That Changed Everything [12:49] Discovering Somatic Therapy & IFS [13:54] Getting Diagnosed: ADHD and Autism [15:02] How Do You Know When Therapy Is "Enough"? [19:15] Jay's Conversion: "What Is This Witchcraft?" [21:15] Why Men Get Disconnected From Their Bodies [24:58] Patriarchy Hurts Men Too [28:39] Making Room for Men on the Couch [32:11] Richard Schwartz, IFS & the Local Connection [34:14] Jay's Story: Chronic Pain and the Body Keeping Score [36:23] Pain vs. Suffering: The Story We Tell [44:17] Therapy Is Art, Not Just Science [45:09] Psychiatrist vs. Psychologist vs. Counselor, Explained [52:25] What to Look for in a Therapist Standout Quotes "Fine is the quickest way to disconnect your head from your body." "Suffering is the story. Pain is the physical sensation." "Patriarchy isn't a gender. It's harmful to both men and women, and we both perpetuate it and don't even realize it." "Any therapist that doesn't think they're changed by their clients is delusional." Therapist's Toolkit 3 Questions for Where You're At in Therapy: 1. Have I hit a wall with my therapist — and is that my wall or theirs? 2. When something hurts, am I responding to the physical sensation, or to the story I've attached to it? 3. Have I actually told my therapist what I need (silence, being called out, someone who gets how my brain works) instead of hoping they'll guess? Resources * Pinkpill Rx on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/lk/podcast/pinkpill-rx/id1777720717 | @pinkpill_podcast (Instagram): https://www.instagram.com/pinkpill_podcast/ * IFS Institute: https://ifs-institute.com/ — Richard Schwartz & Internal Family Systems * Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn: https://jonkabat-zinn.com/book/full-catastrophe-livingusing-the-wisdom-of-your-body-and-mind-to-face-stress-pain-and-illness-second-edition-revised-and-updated/ * Brené Brown: https://brenebrown.com/ — on shame and vulnerability Crisis Support 988 - Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Text HOME to 741741 - Crisis Text Line Find a Therapist: Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us | Rise & Thrive Wellness: https://riseandthrivewellness.net/ Connect 📧 ihavesh1t2say@gmail.com 📱 @ihavesh_ttosay (Instagram) | IHaveSh_tToSay (TikTok) Host: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BC Guests: Katie & Jay Fillmore (Pinkpill Rx) Producer: Brian T Prairie Operations Manager: MacKenzie Cloy   New episodes every two weeks on Tuesdays

IHSTS - Ep. 12 - Let Me Be Fucking Angry

Megan and producer Brian ditch the guest couch and get back to the OG duo for a no-holds-barred conversation about rage. Not irritation, not mild annoyance—rage, the top-of-the-line, burns-hot end of the anger spectrum. Why are we so afraid of it? And who gets permission to be angry, versus who gets called "bossy," "intimidating," or worse for the exact same energy? Megan pushes back on the therapy gospel that anger always "covers" something deeper, makes the case that anger can sit right alongside hurt and sadness as its own valid feeling, and breaks down the idea that a feeling without a story attached only lasts about 90 seconds. Plus: gray rocking, rage rooms, rage walks, and why everyone needs a hype playlist. Key Timestamps [00:00] Back to the OG Duo: Today's Topic Is Rage [01:11] Check-In: What's Your Rage (or Hype) Song? [07:53] Rage vs. Anger—It's a Spectrum [10:46] The Myth That Anger Always Covers Something [12:32] "Bossy," "Intimidating" & the Gendered Weight of Anger [15:31] Underneath vs. Alongside: What If Anger Is the Root? [18:35] Rage as Trapped Energy & Primal Release [21:30] Anger Management & "Whose Problem Is My Anger?" [23:33] The How We Feel App & Naming Emotions [25:05] Weaponizing Feelings & Power Structures [28:11] The 90-Second Rule & Gray Rocking [33:35] Tools: Journaling, Rage Walks & Releasing Safely Standout Quotes "A feeling without a story lasts 90 seconds." "What if anger is the root? What if, next to anger, I'm also sad and hurt at the same time—and they're equal, and there's not one underneath?" "Do they have issues with anger, or is them being angry causing you issues?" Therapist's Toolkit 3 Reflection Questions: 1. When I feel anger or rage, what story am I attaching to it—and what changes if I let the feeling move through in 90 seconds instead of feeding the narrative? 2. Do I treat my anger as a mask for something "deeper," or can I let it stand alongside hurt, sadness, or frustration as valid on its own? 3. Where can I release this energy safely and non-traumatically—a rage walk, a playlist, journaling, a scream—instead of turning it inward or onto someone else? Resources - [How We Feel App](https://howwefeel.org/) — free emotion-tracking and regulation tool (iOS & Android) from Marc Brackett and the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence - Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett — the book behind the emotional-intelligence work referenced in this episode - Rage & Hype Playlist picks: Rage Against the Machine, "Bulls on Parade" · Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive" · Paramore, "Misery Business" · Big Sean Crisis Support 988 - Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text) Text HOME to 741741 - Crisis Text Line Find a Therapist:** [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us) | [Rise & Thrive Wellness](https://riseandthrivewellness.net/) Connect With Us 📧 ihavesh1t2say@gmail.com 📱 @ihavesh_ttosay (Instagram) | IHaveSh_tToSay (TikTok) Credits Host: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BC Executive Producer:** Brian T Prairie Operations Manager: MacKenzie Cloy Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or advice. If this episode brought up something you'd like to explore more deeply on a one-on-one basis, or you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please see the resources above. New episodes every two weeks on Tuesdays at 6am

IHSTS - Ep. 11 - Pregnancy, Postpartum & the Things Nobody Tells You

CONTENT WARNING: This episode covers pregnancy loss, infant loss, stillbirth, and postpartum mental health, including intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation. Please listen in a safe space and skip ahead if you need to. This is the first of a short series on these topics. "They tell you to have a baby and then go home like everything is normal after 24 hours." This week Megan sits down with Lindsay, a therapist with nearly two decades of experience who is certified in perinatal and postpartum mental health, for an honest, unfiltered conversation about what women's mental health really looks like around pregnancy, birth, and loss. Lindsay shares her own experience of a stillbirth at 41 weeks, and together they take apart the "you'll be fine in six weeks" myth, the postpartum conditions no one names out loud, the cruelty of well-meaning comments, and what it actually takes to support someone through it. Heavy, real, and occasionally very funny anyway. KEY TIMESTAMPS[00:23] Meet Lindsay + the trigger warning[00:53] Off-the-wall check-in: the Real Housewives detour[10:10] Why October matters, and Lindsay's stillbirth at 41 weeks[10:57] "Women's health is fucked": the 24-hour, six-week myth[16:35] "Baby blues," the DSM gap, and the postpartum spectrum[17:56] Postpartum anxiety, depression, OCD, and psychosis[21:08] The questions people think they're allowed to ask women[23:24] Disenfranchised grief and the everyday triggers[26:45] The "hierarchy" of loss, and why it isn't one[30:00] Choosing a provider: medication, PMDD, specialized care[33:33] Pregnancy: don't stop therapy; build your village[36:23] Learning to notice a thought as just a thought[37:50] "Getting your pink back": what's beyond normal[40:11] Dads and partners: their lives change too[45:23] Rainbow babies, phantom limbs, and the things people say[48:09] The grandmother in the store, and the power of an apology[1:00:27] Key takeaways: how to actually show up for someone STANDOUT QUOTES"My body is no longer my body. It has done this thing." "Six weeks is a long time to not sleep, to feel concerned about your baby dying." "I'm still a human being. I can be happy for you and be sad for me." "It's a loss. It doesn't have to be one person sadder than the other." THERAPIST'S TOOLKITThree things to sit with this week:1. After a hard experience around birth or loss, am I letting myself feel both grief and joy, or forcing an "either/or"?2. Do I have a safe person who asks "how are you?" and actually waits for the honest answer?3. When a distressing thought shows up, can I notice it as a thought rather than a fact about who I am? RESOURCES- Postpartum Support International (PSI) HelpLine: call or text 1-800-944-4773. Support and referrals in English and Spanish. This is a warmline, not a crisis line; messages are returned daily. postpartum.net- National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: call or text 1-833-852-6262 (1-833-TLC-MAMA). Free, confidential, 24/7 for pregnant and new parents.- Find a perinatal mental health specialist: PSI provider directory at postpartum.net- Rise & Thrive Wellness: riseandthrivewellness.net CRISIS SUPPORT- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988- Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741- If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911 CONNECT WITH USEmail: ihavesh1t2say@gmail.comInstagram: @ihavesh_ttosayTikTok: IHaveSh_tToSay CREDITSHost: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BCExecutive Producer: Brian T PrairieOperations Manager: MacKenzie CloyGuest: Lindsay Mathews, Rise & Thrive Wellness, certified in perinatal & postpartum mental health New episodes every two weeks on Tuesdays at 5am. DISCLAIMERThis podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy or professional mental health care. Listening does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling, please reach out to a licensed provider or one of the resources above.

IHSTS - Ep. 10 - Ships, Friendships & All the F*cking Expectations

Ten episodes in, and we're celebrating with one of Megan's oldest friends — her former intern turned 17-year ride-or-die. Today's conversation is deeply personal and wildly relatable: female friendships. Why are they so hard? Why do they fall apart? And what does it actually take to make one last? Megan and guest Carissa dig into the power dynamics that shape how women are taught to "be nice" instead of honest, why unspoken expectations quietly destroy friendships, and what it really means to show up — not just for the parties, but for all the messy, hard, non-Instagrammable stuff. Plus: Enneagram 2s and 8s in the wild, reciprocity as a litmus test, transactional vs. relational, and why trying to be everyone's friend might be the thing keeping you from your actual people. Whether you've lost a friendship you didn't see coming, stayed too long in one that wasn't working, or have a person who has seen every version of you — this one is for you. Key Timestamps [00:00] Intro: 10 Episodes In — New Logo, New Mugs, Same Chaos [14:19] Welcome & Apologies to Barbie (and Bonnie) [32:46] Meet Carissa: 17 Years, One File Cabinet Incident [39:35] Why Female Friendships Are Hard [41:34] Enneagram 2s & 8s: When Opposites Actually Work [43:02] Power Dynamics: From Intern to BFF [46:43] Access & Effort — Why Friendships Fade [47:52] Expectations: The Hidden Friendship Killer [54:00] Transactional vs. Relational Friendships [58:30] Multiple Versions of Yourself, Same Core Person [01:01:43] "I Got It Wrong" & Masking in Friendships [01:10:50] Red Flags in Hindsight [01:17:44] Reciprocity Test: Are They Asking About You? [01:24:32] Takeaways: Show Up, Be Yourself, Accept the Shift Standout Quotes "If I'm actively trying to be this way or mask and do X, Y, Z — it's never going to work. It's going to be the worst." "If you only want to show up to somebody's parties, you're not friends. You also have to wallow with them." "You get what you put in. You have to actively choose to be a part of what you want to be a part of." Therapist's Toolkit 3 Friendship Checkup Questions: 1. Are my expectations spoken out loud, or am I waiting for the other person to just know? 2. Is this friendship relational — or has it become transactional without me noticing? 3. Am I showing up as myself, or am I masking to keep this person comfortable? Resources Enneagram Institute Psychology Today — Adult Friendships Research Level Up Leaders Crisis Support 988 - Suicide Prevention Lifeline Text HOME to 741741 - Crisis Text Line Find a Therapist: Psychology Today | SAMHSA Treatment Locator Verify Credentials: Check your state's professional licensing board website Connect With Us Have a topic you want us to cover? Questions about friendships or other mental health topics? We'd love to hear from you! * Submit topic ideas: ihavesh1t2say@gmail.com * Follow us: * Instagram: @ihavesh_ttosay * TikTok: IHaveSh_tToSay * YouTube: www.youtube.com/@ihavesh_ttosay * Rate & Review: Help others find the podcast by leaving a review Credits Podcast Host: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BC Podcast Guest: Carissa Tonner Podcast Executive Producer: Brian T Prairie Podcast Operations Manager: MacKenzie Cloy New episodes drop every two weeks on Tuesday mornings at 5 am. Subscribe so you never miss an episode! Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're in crisis or need personalized support, please contact a licensed mental health professional.

IHSTS - Ep. 09 - Stop Calling It Independent — Let's Talk Community

We throw the word "community" around a lot. But do we actually know how to build it — or what's getting in our way? In this first-ever two-guest episode, Megan sits down with two powerhouse community builders, Barbi Watson and Becca Parks, for a real conversation about what community means, why so many of us are quietly lonely, and what it actually takes to find your people. They dig into the difference between showing up online versus showing up in real life, why introverts and extroverts need community differently (but equally), how emotional intelligence is the backbone of any real connection, and when community turns toxic. Plus: a frank conversation about conflict, accountability, and why being "nice" might be the thing destroying your community from the inside out. Less civility, more vulnerability — this episode is for you. Key Timestamps [00:00] Welcome & Introducing the Two Bees — Barbi Watson and Becca Parks [02:19] Check-In Question: Wild Notes on Our Phones [09:20] What Community Actually Means to Each of Them [13:50] Barbi Watson on Connection, Resources & Building Your Self-Care Team [15:24] Becca on Showing Up, Social Justice Book Club & Kankakee [17:49] Do We Actually Need Community? (The Introvert/Extrovert Debate) [23:55] Energy Givers, Energy Vampires & the Neutrals [26:09] Community-Building Tips for Introverts [29:44] Emotional Intelligence as the Foundation of Real Connection [33:37] When Community Becomes Toxic — Conflict, Power & Accountability [43:14] Nice vs. Kind, Running Out of F*cks & Older Women Who Know [51:30] Personal Responsibility, Shame & Naming What You Feel [58:30] Self-Compassion, Boundaries & Owning Your Shit [01:03:34] Takeaways: Know Your Strengths, Ask for Help & Start with the Emotion Wheel Standout Quotes "Less civility, more vulnerability. Let's stop being civil and stop being nice. Let's start being real with each other." "You are one person away from something amazing. That's how I feel about it." "Your gifts are not everybody else's gifts. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses, and find people whose strengths fill in where yours don't." Therapist's Toolkit 3 Community Questions: 1. Am I isolating because I need rest — or because I'm afraid to be seen? 2. Who in my life gives me energy, and who drains it? Am I being intentional about both? 3. When I show up in conflict, is my goal to be understood — or to change someone else's behavior? Resources How We Feel App (free emotional check-in tool — all 52 emotions, shareable with your community) Emotion Wheel Rise & Thrive Wellness Events — riseandthrivewellness.net Crisis Support 988 - Suicide Prevention Lifeline Text HOME to 741741 - Crisis Text Line Find a Therapist: Psychology Today | SAMHSA Treatment Locator Rise & Thrive Wellness: riseandthrivewellness.net Connect With Us Have a topic you want us to cover? Questions about community or other mental health topics? We'd love to hear from you! * Submit topic ideas: ihavesh1t2say@gmail.com * Follow us: * Instagram: @ihavesh_ttosay * TikTok: IHaveSh_tToSay * YouTube: www.youtube.com/@ihavesh_ttosay * Rate & Review: Help others find the podcast by leaving a review Credits Podcast Host: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BC Podcast Executive Producer: Brian T Prairie Podcast Operations Manager: MacKenzie Cloy New episodes drop every two weeks on Tuesday mornings at 5 am. Subscribe so you never miss an episode! Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're in crisis or need personalized support, please contact a licensed mental health professional.