Episode 10 – How to Rebuild Confidence After Setbacks
🎧 Episode 3 – How to Rebuild Confidence After Setbacks
In this episode, Susie dives into the quiet, often unseen process of rebuilding confidence after things fall apart whether in business or life. She shares her personal journey of starting over, explains why confidence isn’t about being loud or fearless, and introduces her “Four R’s” framework to help you rebuild stronger, wiser, and more grounded.
Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
01:48 – What true confidence really is
03:47 – The turning point: letting go of who you were
05:37 – The Four R’s: Reflect, Reframe, Reconnect, Recommit
09:17 – Rebuilding confidence in real time
10:00 – Final takeaway: confidence isn’t found, it’s built
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Transcript:
Susie Batista (00:00)
You're listening to the Just Build It podcast. Real conversations about business, growth, and everything that comes with chasing a bigger life. I'm Susie Batista, property developer, speaker, and someone who's learned that building anything worthwhile never really comes with a manual. This isn't about perfection or overnight success. It's about that messy middle, the lessons, the setbacks, and the courage to keep going when no one's clapping yet. You'll hear stories from entrepreneurs, mentors, and creatives who've turned struggle into strength, and sometimes just from me, sharing the unfiltered side of building a business and a life on your own terms. Let's get into it. Welcome to episode three of the Just Build It podcast. We're going to get a bit serious on this one. Today's episode is how to rebuild confidence after you've had setbacks. There's this strange silence that happens after things go wrong. So when deals fall apart or the job ends or the plan fails, people rally around you. And then people stop asking how you're doing, And you're just left with yourself. And it's in that quiet space where your confidence either disappears completely or it begins to rebuild. And I have been there more than once.
Susie Batista (01:48)
And sometimes it's business and sometimes it's personal. And what I've learned is this. Confidence isn't something that you just get back. It's something that you rebuild differently. And here's the truth about confidence. People think confidence means being really loud or fearless and certain. And in my experience, it's just not like that. It's that really quiet belief that whatever If it happens, you'll handle it. And it's built in the moments that no one really sees. And when you show up after being knocked down or when you try again, even though you're Our hands are still shaking a little bit from last time. And most of us lose confidence because we start attaching our worth to our results. I'm going to say that again because I think this is key. We lose confidence because we start attaching our worth to our results. The project fails, so we think that we failed. But confidence has nothing to do with outcome. It's about identity. It's who you still are when everything else gets stripped away and when things just go wrong. And rebuilding starts really, really small. So when I was rebuilding, after selling my design business, I genuinely felt completely untethered.
Susie Batista (03:47)
I went from being the expert in what I did and feeling so comfortable. I had my team, I knew design inside and out, and I felt like I was really starting again. New Instagram, this whole property world. It was such a new industry, new rules, and a new version of me. And at first, I was definitely trying to get back to how I used to feel. And I would say that was the biggest mistake that I made because I was never meant to go back. I was just meant to rebuild and be stronger and wiser and more grounded. And rebuilding confidence isn't about pretending that everything's fine. It's about creating proof that you can move again. And it always starts with one thing, like a tiny win. One conversation, one idea, one action. It doesn't just fix everything. But it gives your mind evidence that you're not stuck. There are four R's that I've created, and I've created them to try and have a better way to rebuild. These are things that I use and that I talk about. It's not really a formula, it's just rhythm that helps you move through the mess, I guess.
Susie Batista (05:37)
So the first one of the four R's, reflect. Don't just rush past the pain. Sit with it long enough to understand what actually happened. And you can't really rebuild things from denial, only from the truth. What actually happened? And ask yourself, what did this teach me that success never could? What did this teach me that success never could? What did this failure teach me? What did this hardship teach me? Because I'm coming out of it, what did it teach me? The second one is reframe. This is something that, gosh, if you ever say anything to me that's slightly negative, I will come down hard on you on this one. So change the language. Instead of, I failed, say, That experience taught me what doesn't work for me. It sounds like woo-whu and a bit small, but language is everything, and it shifts your energy from a Claim to ownership. Number three, reconnect. When things go wrong, people tend to isolate and hide away, and that is totally normal. It's human. It's nature. But rebuilding is faster when you reconnect with people who remind you who you are. It's not a coincidence that community is the buzzword at the moment.
Susie Batista (07:30)
It goes back to where we all started, whatever religion you are, whatever faith you have, somewhere within your story, there's been a community that started at the beginning. And if you just find that one person even who makes you feel seen and not judged, sometimes that's all you need to get moving again. So reconnect with your community and you'll bounce back faster. Number four is recommit. And I would say this is the most important one. Confidence doesn't come from pep talks. It comes from commitment. So you need to decide what your next move is and stick to it long enough to see the progress. Decide what your next move is and stick to it long to see progress. It's quite simple, actually. And even if it's tiny, keep with it, because momentum is so much louder than motivation. So when you feel like you've lost yourself, if you're in that stage right now of rebuilding uncertainty, trying to figure it all out, And I've been there on many of occasions, and it's one of the worst places to be, actually. It just doesn't feel good. Please know this. You haven't lost your confidence. You've just lost your connexion with it.
Susie Batista (09:17)
And that connexion comes back the moment you take even the smallest step forward. And you don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to move. Just take action. Every action, every choice, every time you get up and try again, that's confidence being rebuilt in actual time. And that is what true confidence looks like. It's calm, and it's earned, and it's yours. If you like anything you hear in this podcast, please drop me a DM on Instagram. Send me an email, susanne@justbuildit.uk I love to hear from you. I love to help. And just remember, confidence isn't found, it's built.
