Leave Me Alone

Why I Avoid the Outside World | Family Chaos, Neighbours & Human Behaviour Breakdown

This podcast is about everyday life, family chaos, awkward social interactions, and the general experience of wondering how everyone else seems so confident at being a person. It’s not inspirational, not motivational, and definitely not about morning routines or “becoming your best self.” It’s stories from normal life that somehow turn into chaos neighbours, family situations, random encounters, and the constant reminder that the outside world is loud, strange, and slightly unhinged. If you’ve ever thought “why are people like this?” or preferred staying in your own space instead of dealing with human unpredictability, you’ll probably understand this show. New episodes regularly usually after something mildly ridiculous happens.

My Toddler Thinks He’s in the UFC (And I’m Losing)

This week I accidentally left my wife and toddler trapped in the garden… thanks to a yoyo, a locked door, and a neighbour aggressively jet washing at the worst possible time. What followed was a full-blown domestic hostage-style situation… while I sat inside in complete peace, completely unaware, drinking tea like nothing was happening. Also… I think my three-year-old has started training for the UFC. He wakes up choosing violence, throws hands over yoghurt, and has zero respect for personal space. So yeah this episode is basically: parenting chaos, accidental neglect, and learning how to survive a tiny human who fights like it’s a title match. If you’re also raising a toddler who acts like a lightweight contender… you’re not alone.

I Survived a Hospital Appointment (Barely) + My Child Headbutted a Stranger

A chaotic life update episode covering two very different kinds of survival: a long-awaited hospital appointment through the lens of anxiety, and a weekend of parenting chaos at Badminton Horse Trials involving expensive hot dogs, lost pushchair regrets, and accidental public collisions. We also talk about what nobody warns you about — the anxiety comedown afterwards, when your body finally comes off high alert and crashes harder than you expect.

Parenting Chaos, Toddler Tantrums & Funny Real Life Stories

A funny UK parenting comedy podcast about a simple trip to the park that turns into toddler tantrums, injuries, ice cream van chaos, and total overstimulation. If you enjoy relatable parenting stories, chaotic family life, or funny real-life situations that spiral out of control, this episode is for you. We talk toddler behaviour, “tornado threes,” park disasters, and why leaving the house is always a mistake. Follow for more antisocial, relatable comedy stories it’s free and helps more than you think.

Why Is Everything So Loud? | Antisocial Chaos, Parenting & Overstimulation (Ep. 16).

Everything this week has been loud. Not just sound… life. Constantly, unnecessarily, aggressively loud. In this episode of Leave Me Alone: The Antisocial Podcast, I talk through a week that completely broke my ability to function in peace from Rugby Tots chaos and dramatic toddler injuries that somehow become full emotional story arcs… to Argos delivery drivers who move like silent ninjas… to a flat-pack furniture situation that nearly ended in domestic philosophical debate… and an ice cream van that has officially become my personal villain origin story. Oh, and somewhere in the middle of all that… I decided the solution to stress was to start crochet. Obviously. That went exactly as well as you’d expect. This is an episode about overstimulation, small domestic disasters, avoiding people, avoiding noise, and somehow still trying to hold your life together while everything outside refuses to be normal or quiet. If you’ve ever hidden from a doorbell, mentally panicked at an ice cream van jingle, or started a new crochet hobby at 10pm… this one’s for you. Subscribe if you enjoy organised chaos, antisocial energy, and stories that get progressively worse in the best way. New episodes weekly. Probably. If life isn’t too loud.