Why Empathy Keeps You Stuck in Toxic Relationships

Why Empathy Keeps You Stuck in Toxic Relationships

Empathy is a beautiful gift—but in a toxic or narcissistic relationship, it can also become one of your greatest vulnerabilities if it isn't paired with healthy boundaries. In this episode, Jill explores the difference between empathy and over-functioning, why highly empathetic people are often targeted by manipulative individuals, and how empathy can unintentionally become self-abandonment. Through personal stories and practical strategies, you'll learn how to protect your peace, trust your intuition, stop carrying responsibilities that don't belong to you, and embrace the powerful truth that you can care deeply about someone without sacrificing yourself. If you've ever struggled with guilt, people-pleasing, or feeling responsible for someone else's happiness, this episode is for you. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Empathy without boundaries can become self-abandonment * You don't have to feel guilty for protecting your peace * Stop confusing their explanations with excuses * Not every problem belongs to you * With high levels of empathy, there may also be guilt too * Don't ignore your intuition because your empathy is louder. * You can't want more for someone than they want for themselves. BEST MOMENTS I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. –Maya Angelou The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy, we can all sense a mysterious connection to each other. –Meryl Streep Empathy is the most radical of human emotions. –Gloria Steinem Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you. –Princess Diana What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make. –Jane Goodall VALUABLE RESOURCES If you're struggling in a relationship and wondering if it might be controlling, you're not alone. Download my free guide at locatecoaching.com/freegift [http://locatecoaching.com/freegift] to help you find clarity and confidence. EPISODES TO CHECK OUT NEXT Check out other episodes of Life After: From Surviving to Thriving: https://sites.libsyn.com/460833/site [https://sites.libsyn.com/460833/site] ABOUT THE HOST Jill McKnight is a mindset coach and speaker as well as an Erickson Professional Certified Coach. She specializes in supporting those who are rebuilding their lives and finding their most aligned path forward. Jill knows that the tips and tricks in each episode work – because she's used them to change her life and her clients have used them to change their lives! Jill has the education and life experience to help you rebuild your life, whatever the circumstances… and move from surviving to thriving! Through her talks, events, programs, and podcast Life After: From Surviving to Thriving, Jill provides her clients with a unique mix of thoughtful guidance and sincere care. She lives in a small town in Washington with her son and is committed to co-creating a world with more hope, connection, and healing for us all. CONNECT & CONTACT TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@locatecoaching [https://www.tiktok.com/@locatecoaching] IG: https://www.instagram.com/locatecoaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/locatecoaching/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEImRGJXX4hrdS_NM3wWXg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEImRGJXX4hrdS_NM3wWXg] Email: info@locatecoaching.com [info@locatecoaching.com]

Finding Certainty Through Action

Most of us think we're waiting for the right moment. The truth? We're often waiting for certainty that simply doesn't exist. In this episode, we're exploring why feeling stuck has less to do with a lack of information and more to do with our brain's desire for certainty. You'll discover why waiting to feel "ready" keeps you exactly where you are—and how taking one small step creates the confidence and clarity you've been looking for all along. If you've been putting off a difficult decision, a career change, leaving an unhealthy relationship, or pursuing a dream because you're waiting for more certainty, this episode will help you shift your mindset, take action, and begin building certainty one choice at a time. KEY TAKEAWAYS When you feel stuck, walk through these five questions: * What am I actually afraid of? * Is this danger or discomfort? * What do I know for certain today? * What's one small action I can take? * What will I learn by taking it? Those five questions interrupt overthinking and create movement. BEST MOMENTS There is something incredibly powerful about a woman who no longer abandons her inner truth... — Anonymous The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any. — Alice Walker Other people's certainty about who you are is not evidence... — Anonymous If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. — Dolly Parton I learned to always take on things I'd never done before. Growth and comfort do not coexist. — Virginia Rometty When one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear. — Rosa Parks VALUABLE RESOURCES If you're struggling in a relationship and wondering if it might be controlling, you're not alone. Download my free guide at locatecoaching.com/freegift [http://locatecoaching.com/freegift] to help you find clarity and confidence. EPISODES TO CHECK OUT NEXT Check out other episodes of Life After: From Surviving to Thriving: https://sites.libsyn.com/460833/site [https://sites.libsyn.com/460833/site] ABOUT THE HOST Jill McKnight is a mindset coach and speaker as well as an Erickson Professional Certified Coach. She specializes in supporting those who are rebuilding their lives and finding their most aligned path forward. Jill knows that the tips and tricks in each episode work – because she's used them to change her life and her clients have used them to change their lives! Jill has the education and life experience to help you rebuild your life, whatever the circumstances… and move from surviving to thriving! Through her talks, events, programs, and podcast Life After: From Surviving to Thriving, Jill provides her clients with a unique mix of thoughtful guidance and sincere care. She lives in a small town in Washington with her son and is committed to co-creating a world with more hope, connection, and healing for us all. CONNECT & CONTACT TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@locatecoaching [https://www.tiktok.com/@locatecoaching] IG: https://www.instagram.com/locatecoaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/locatecoaching/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEImRGJXX4hrdS_NM3wWXg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEImRGJXX4hrdS_NM3wWXg] Email: info@locatecoaching.com [info@locatecoaching.com]

Boundaries Are For You

Boundaries aren't about controlling other people—they're about honoring yourself. In this episode, Jill explores why boundaries can feel so difficult, especially for people who have experienced trauma, people-pleasing, toxic relationships, or insecure attachment. She shares personal stories about learning to hold boundaries in both her marriage and professional life, explains why discomfort is often a sign that a boundary needs attention, and offers practical strategies for strengthening your "boundary muscle." If you've ever struggled to say no, felt guilty for putting yourself first, or found yourself repeatedly moving the line for others, this episode will help you begin creating healthier, more respectful relationships—starting with the one you have with yourself. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Notice discomfort * Get clear – what do you want? * Pause… * Take small steps * Expect pushback * Practice, practice, practice BEST MOMENTS Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. – Brené Brown Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously. –Nedra Glover Tawwab No is a complete sentence. –Anne Lamott Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me at the same time. –Prentis Hemphill No is a complete sentence. – Anne Lamott Every time you're given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your job is to disappoint someone else. –Glennon Doyle VALUABLE RESOURCES If you're struggling in a relationship and wondering if it might be controlling, you're not alone. Download my free guide at locatecoaching.com/freegift [http://locatecoaching.com/freegift] to help you find clarity and confidence. EPISODES TO CHECK OUT NEXT Check out other episodes of Life After: From Surviving to Thriving: https://sites.libsyn.com/460833/site [https://sites.libsyn.com/460833/site] ABOUT THE HOST Jill McKnight is a mindset coach and speaker as well as an Erickson Professional Certified Coach. She specializes in supporting those who are rebuilding their lives and finding their most aligned path forward. Jill knows that the tips and tricks in each episode work – because she's used them to change her life and her clients have used them to change their lives! Jill has the education and life experience to help you rebuild your life, whatever the circumstances… and move from surviving to thriving! Through her talks, events, programs, and podcast "Life After: From Surviving to Thriving", Jill provides her clients with a unique mix of thoughtful guidance and sincere care. She lives in a small town in Washington with her son and is committed to co-create a world with more hope, connection, and healing for us all. CONNECT & CONTACT TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@locatecoaching [https://www.tiktok.com/@locatecoaching] IG: https://www.instagram.com/locatecoaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/locatecoaching/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEImRGJXX4hrdS_NM3wWXg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEImRGJXX4hrdS_NM3wWXg] Email: info@locatecoaching.com [info@locatecoaching.com]

Trust Small Before You Trust Big

In this episode of Life After: From Surviving to Thriving, Jill explores one of the most difficult challenges after betrayal, toxic relationships, and heartbreak: learning to trust again. She unpacks how childhood attachment styles shape our ability to trust, why betrayal often damages trust in ourselves as much as trust in others, and how trauma can make connection feel risky. Through personal stories, practical examples, and actionable strategies, Jill shares how to rebuild trust slowly, set healthy boundaries, recognize trustworthy behavior, and reconnect with your own inner wisdom. This episode is a compassionate reminder that trust isn't built through words—it's built through patterns, actions, consistency, and learning to listen to yourself again. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Trust is earned through action and consistency, not words * Trust is a pattern – not an on/off switch * Boundaries strengthens trust * Trust small before you trust big * Identify your own patterns BEST MOMENTS When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. –Maya Angelou Trust is built in very small moments. – Brené Brown You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. –Eleanor Roosevelt I have met myself and I am going to care for her fiercely. –Glennon Doyle Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie. –Oprah Winfrey VALUABLE RESOURCES If you're struggling in a relationship and wondering if it might be controlling, you're not alone. Download my free guide at locatecoaching.com/freegift [http://locatecoaching.com/freegift] to help you find clarity and confidence. EPISODES TO CHECK OUT NEXT Check out other episodes of Life After: From Surviving to Thriving: https://sites.libsyn.com/460833/site [https://sites.libsyn.com/460833/site] ABOUT THE HOST Jill McKnight is a mindset coach and speaker as well as an Erickson Professional Certified Coach. She specializes in supporting those who are rebuilding their lives and finding their most aligned path forward. Jill knows that the tips and tricks in each episode work – because she's used them to change her life and her clients have used them to change their lives! Jill has the education and life experience to help you rebuild your life, whatever the circumstances… and move from surviving to thriving! Through her talks, events, programs, and podcast "Life After: From Surviving to Thriving", Jill provides her clients with a unique mix of thoughtful guidance and sincere care. She lives in a small town in Washington with her son and is committed to co-create a world with more hope, connection, and healing for us all. CONNECT & CONTACT TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@locatecoaching [https://www.tiktok.com/@locatecoaching] IG: https://www.instagram.com/locatecoaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/locatecoaching/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEImRGJXX4hrdS_NM3wWXg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEImRGJXX4hrdS_NM3wWXg] Email: info@locatecoaching.com [info@locatecoaching.com]

The Myth of Closure

In this deeply personal episode, Jill explores the complicated and often misunderstood reality of closure after toxic and narcissistic relationships. While many people long for one final conversation, apology, or moment that finally makes everything make sense, Jill explains why true closure rarely comes from the other person — especially when dealing with someone who lacks accountability, empathy, or self-awareness. Through vulnerable and honest storytelling from her own experiences with both narcissistic relationships and toxic work environments, Jill shares how grief, rumination, unresolved expectations, and the search for "the perfect conversation" can keep us emotionally stuck far longer than we realize. She also discusses post-separation abuse, the lingering effects of emotional control, and why healing is rarely a straight line. This episode offers compassionate but practical insight into what actually helps us move forward: reframing our expectations, reducing the emotional "real estate" toxic people occupy in our minds, allowing ourselves to fully grieve, and finding supportive community with people who truly understand the experience. If you've ever struggled to let go, questioned why someone treated you the way they did, or wondered whether you'll ever fully heal, this episode is a reminder that peace is still possible — even without perfect closure. Little by little, healing happens. And eventually, what once consumed you can become nothing more than a dusty banker's box tucked quietly away in the attic of your mind. 💜 KEY TAKEAWAYS * Stop waiting for the "perfect conversation" * Grief is part of the healing and closure process * Shift your expectations so you don't stay stuck * Community helps you heal faster * Reduce the "real estate" in your head BEST MOMENTS You don't have to have a reason to let go. –Cheryl Strayed You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. –Elizabeth Gilbert You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. –Maya Angelou Life is brutal. But it's also beautiful. Brutiful. –Glennon Doyle Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. –Pema Chödrön VALUABLE RESOURCES If you're struggling in a relationship and wondering if it might be controlling, you're not alone. Download my free guide at locatecoaching.com/freegift [http://locatecoaching.com/freegift] to help you find clarity and confidence. EPISODES TO CHECK OUT NEXT Check out other episodes of Life After: From Surviving to Thriving: https://sites.libsyn.com/460833/site [https://sites.libsyn.com/460833/site] ABOUT THE HOST Jill McKnight is a mindset coach and speaker as well as an Erickson Professional Certified Coach. She specializes in supporting those who are rebuilding their lives and finding their most aligned path forward. Jill knows that the tips and tricks in each episode work – because she's used them to change her life and her clients have used them to change their lives! Jill has the education and life experience to help you rebuild your life, whatever the circumstances… and move from surviving to thriving! Through her talks, events, programs, and podcast "Life After: From Surviving to Thriving", Jill provides her clients with a unique mix of thoughtful guidance and sincere care. She lives in a small town in Washington with her son and is committed to co-create a world with more hope, connection, and healing for us all. CONNECT & CONTACT TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@locatecoaching [https://www.tiktok.com/@locatecoaching] IG: https://www.instagram.com/locatecoaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/locatecoaching/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEImRGJXX4hrdS_NM3wWXg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwEImRGJXX4hrdS_NM3wWXg] Email: info@locatecoaching.com [info@locatecoaching.com]