Ep 05. What NOT to Say to Someone Grieving (And What to Say Instead)

Ep. 07 Giving Grief Somewhere to Go: The Healing Power of Rituals Beyond the Funeral

Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted | Unfiltered Discussions on Living and Dying Hosted by Christina Holohan, Certified Death Doula & Thanatologist What happens when grief has nowhere to go? In this episode, death doula and thanatologist Christina explores the science and soul behind grief rituals, and why they are far more than a funeral tradition. Whether you’re navigating fresh loss, supporting a grieving loved one, or simply want to understand why rituals matter so deeply, this episode will change the way you think about honoring the people you’ve lost. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: * Why grief rituals are a psychological necessity, not just a cultural tradition * What COVID-19 research revealed about prolonged grief when ceremonies were taken away * How alternative mourning rituals (candles, digital tributes, keepsakes) can genuinely ease grief symptoms * The three types of therapeutic rituals used by grief counselors and therapists * Simple, powerful micro-rituals you can start this week to honor your loved one * The key differences between a traditional funeral and a celebration of life, and why it matters * Why the meaning behind a ritual always matters more than the mechanics Episode Highlights * [3:00], Pandemic grief research and what happened when families couldn’t gather * [9:00], Alternative rituals: why intention heals more than tradition * [15:00], How grief therapists use ritual in clinical settings (scoping review of 22 studies) * [22:00], Micro-rituals for everyday grief: nature, scent, keepsakes, and more * [26:00], Funerals vs. Celebrations of Life: understanding your options * [30:00], Your weekly challenge: one small, meaningful act of remembrance Resources & Research Mentioned Cherblanc, J., Côté, I., Mercure, C., Boever, C., & Zech, E. (2025). Rituals in grief: Why meaning matters more than numbers. Journal of Loss and Trauma. https://doi.org/10.1080/15325024.2025.2471816 [https://doi.org/10.1080/15325024.2025.2471816] Manquinho, S., Albuquerque, S., Delalibera, M., Coelho, A., & Salvador, Á. (2023). “I could not give him the funeral he deserved”: The role of alternative mourning rituals during the pandemic. Current Psychology, 43, 13668–13678. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-05305-6 [https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-05305-6] Mitima-Verloop, H. B., Mooren, T. T. M., Kritikou, M. E., & Boelen, P. A. (2022). Restricted mourning: Impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on funeral services, grief rituals, and prolonged grief symptoms. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 13, Article 878818. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.878818 [https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.878818] Wojtkowiak, J., Lind, J., & Smid, G. E. (2021). Ritual in therapy for prolonged grief: A scoping review of ritual elements in evidence-informed grief interventions. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 11, Article 623835. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.623835 [https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.623835] Center for Grief Therapy. (n.d.). Grief rituals and how they help. https://www.centerforgrieftherapy.com/grief-rituals-and-how-they-help/ [https://www.centerforgrieftherapy.com/grief-rituals-and-how-they-help/] This Week’s Listener Challenge Create one small, intentional micro-ritual for someone you miss. It doesn’t have to be public. It doesn’t have to be grand. It just must be meaningful to you. Work With Christina Are you ready to plan a celebration of life that truly honors your loved one’s legacy,  on your timeline, in your own way? 🌸 Celebration of Life, Colorado 📍 Serving the Denver metro area and beyond 🌐  celebrationoflife-colorado.com [https://www.celebrationoflife-colorado.com] 📞 720-792-7774 Subscribe & Leave a Review If this episode helped you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Your words help other grieving families find this space, and that means everything. Follow the show so you never miss an episode of Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted. Keywords grief rituals, death doula, celebration of life, prolonged grief, funeral alternative, grief healing, micro-rituals, thanatology, end of life planning, grief support, mourning rituals, grief podcast, Colorado death doula, life after loss, coping with grief

Ep 06. LGBTQ+ End-of-Life Planning: Protecting Your Chosen Family & Identity

Host: Christina Holohan (M.A. Thanatology, Certified End-of-Life Doula, CMP) Podcast: Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted Episode Summary: Happy Pride Month! We spend our whole lives fighting to build our identities, finding our people, and learning to stand proudly in our truth. But what happens to that authenticity when we die? In this deeply important episode, Christina explores the unique end-of-life challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community. From the heavy toll of "minority stress" to the heartbreaking reality of disenfranchised grief experienced by chosen families, our current legal and medical systems often fail to protect LGBTQ+ elders at their most vulnerable. But there is a path forward. Christina shares empowering, actionable advice on how to reclaim your agency, protect your identity, and curate an authentic goodbye, whether that is through a bespoke Celebration of Life, a joyous Living Tribute, or by putting the right legal safety nets in place. If you live in Colorado, this episode is packed with vital information on specific state laws designed to protect you and your chosen family from erasure. In This Episode, We Cover: * [00:00] The true meaning of Pride and why authenticity must extend to the end of life. * [04:00] The "Minority Stress Model" and why many LGBTQ+ elders feel forced "back into the closet" during hospice or residential care. * [08:30] The legal gap of the "Next of Kin" default and the heavy burden of disenfranchised grief for chosen families. * [13:00] Reclaiming your narrative: Why memorials are the ultimate Pride event, protecting your guest list, and the beauty of "Living Tributes." * [17:30] Vital legal protections in Colorado: Naming a Funeral Agent vs. an Estate Executor, Designated Beneficiary Agreements, and the 2025 Dignity in Death Act. Resources & Links Mentioned: Colorado Legal Forms (Free to Download & Complete): * Declaration of Disposition of Last Remains: Use this form to legally appoint your "Funeral Agent," giving a chosen person immediate authority over your body and memorial, overriding biological family. (Download a sample form here via The Natural Funeral / Colorado Statutes) [https://www.thenaturalfuneral.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/colorado-declaration-disposition-of-last-remains.pdf] * Designated Beneficiary Agreement: A powerful Colorado-specific form for unmarried couples that instantly grants your partner legal rights to handle your funeral arrangements. (Learn more via the Colorado Bar Association) [https://www.cobar.org/Portals/COBAR/Colorado] Advocacy & Community Support: * One Colorado: The state's leading advocacy organization dedicated to advancing equality for LGBTQ+ Coloradans and their families. (one-colorado.org) [https://www.one-colorado.org] * Human Rights Campaign (HRC): Nationwide activism, campaigns, and resources. (hrc.org) [https://www.hrc.org] * Colorado Tourism Office: Find local Pride events and festivities near you, including late-summer events like Pueblo Pride. (colorado.com) [https://www.colorado.com/search?filter%5Bfulltext%5D=LGBTQ+events] Articles & Clinical Research Referenced: * "She's Dying and I Can't Say We're Married?": End-of-Life Care for LGBT Older Adults by Dr. Carey Candrian and Kristin G. Cloyes (Published in The Gerontologist, 2020). * A rapid review of end-of-life needs in the LGBTQ+ community and recommendations for clinicians by Lisa Lintott et al. (Published in Palliative Medicine, 2022). * Healthcare and End-of-Life Needs of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Older Adults: A Scoping Review by Arne Stinchcombe et al. (Published in Geriatrics, 2017). About the Host: Christina Holohan is a Certified End-of-Life Doula, Grief Coach, and the founder of Celebration of Life, Colorado. She holds a Master’s degree in Thanatology, a Bachelor's in Hospitality & Event Management, and is a Certified Meeting Professional (CMP). Blending her deep clinical understanding of grief with her extensive background in highly personalized event coordination, Christina helps families navigate life’s most profound transitions with dignity, love, and purpose. To learn more or to connect with Christina, visit: Celebration of Life, Colorado [https://www.celebrationoflife-colorado.com/]

Ep 05. What NOT to Say to Someone Grieving (And What to Say Instead)

5. What NOT to Say to Someone Grieving (And What to Say Instead) "I hate the phrase lost your dad. I didn't lose my dad... he died." When my husband Gerald shared this profound realization about his childhood grief, it stopped me in my tracks. It also perfectly highlighted a massive cultural shift: as a society, we have become deeply uncomfortable with the finality of death. In this episode of Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted, Christina Holohan explores the language of loss. We look at the staggering statistics behind how we talk about death, why well-intentioned phrases often cause deep pain, and how we can shift from offering toxic positivity to offering true, heart-centered support. In this episode, we explore: * The Great Linguistic Shift: How the word "died" became a cultural taboo, and why medical staff and families now rely on euphemisms 95% of the time. * The Words That Hurt: Why phrases like "at least they lived a long life," "be strong," or "everything happens for a reason" leave grieving individuals feeling invalidated and isolated. * The Heart-Centered Alternatives: Simple, honest words you can use to hold space for someone's pain, such as "There are no words," or "I cannot possibly understand how you feel, but I am here". * Actionable Support: Moving beyond the vague offer of "let me know if you need anything" to providing real, practical help, like dropping off pantry staples or mowing the lawn. * Grief in the Workplace: The hidden reality of unacknowledged loss on the job, and how employers can provide the vital time, flexibility, and support grieving employees desperately need. Whether you are navigating a recent loss yourself or want to learn how to better support a friend in their darkest moments, this episode provides a compassionate roadmap for navigating the heavy moments with grace. Resources & References from this Episode: Data & Linguistic Studies: * Legacy.com & Mental Floss: Large-Scale Obituary Study analyzing over 2.4 million death notices. * NewsBank Database Audit: A historical tracking project of 66 million death announcements detailing the linguistic shift away from the word "died" between 1985 and 2015. * National Institutes of Health (NIH): Qualitative research on the use of direct versus figurative language in medical settings and terminal patient conversations. Articles & Further Reading: * TEDxACU: Dead is dead: euphemism and the power of words by Phyllis Sommer. [https://youtu.be/UUqr4P7P3gM?si=DrwlK1kcVKpA3ySS] * Amen Clinics: 19 Worst Things to Say to a Grieving Person. [https://www.amenclinics.com/blog/19-worst-things-to-say-to-a-grieving-person/] * Nothing Is Wasted: What Not to Say. [https://www.nothingiswasted.com/blog/what-not-to-say] * What's Your Grief: Worst Things to Say to a Griever [https://whatsyourgrief.com/worst-things-to-say-to-a-griever/] * Supporting a Grieving Family Member or Friend: 6 Principles [https://whatsyourgrief.com/support-grieving-family-member-friend-6-principals/] * Workplace Options: When Grief Goes Unacknowledged and How it Affects the Workplace. [https://www.workplaceoptions.com/blog/when-grief-goes-unacknowledged-and-how-it-affects-the-workplace/] About Celebration of Life, Colorado: When a loss occurs, families shouldn't have to carry the burden of endless to-do lists. My mission as an End-of-Life Doula is to give grieving families the ultimate gift: time. I handle the heavy lifting, logistics, and coordination of bespoke memorial gatherings. While you focus on your immediate emotional needs and entrust the physical remains to your chosen death care provider, I carry the weight of planning the gathering so you can simply be present and heal. Connect with Christina: * Website: Celebration of Life, Colorado [https://www.celebrationoflife-colorado.com/]

Ep 04. Supporting a Grieving Child: A Lived Experience of Losing a Parent

Episode 4: Supporting a Grieving Child: A Lived Experience of Losing a Parent Grief isn't a season we pass through; it’s a landscape we learn to live in. But what happens when we are forced to enter that landscape as a child? In this deeply personal, unscripted episode, Christina is joined by her husband, Gerald, who shares his lived experience of losing his father at just 11 years old.   Stepping away from the logistics of memorial planning, this conversation is a raw exploration of the long-term echoes of childhood loss. Gerald opens about what it feels like when childhood memories are fragmented by trauma, “the armor" he built to protect his family during his teenage years, and the profound paradigm shift he experienced when he became a father himself. Whether you are an adult navigating the shadow of an early loss, or a parent searching for ways to support a grieving child, this episode offers an honest, unfiltered look at resilience, legacy, and healing.   In this episode, we explore: * The Fragmented Boy: Grieving when memories are incomplete, and why families build safe stories" to protect children from hard truths. * The Silent Years: How childhood grief evolves, changes shape, and impact’s identity formation through middle school and young adulthood. * The Mirror of Fatherhood: The emotional weight of stepping into the shoes of a father you lost, and overcoming the anxiety of leaving too soon. * Actionable Grace: Honest, lived advice for parents currently helping their children navigate the unimaginable. About Your Host: Christina Holohan M.A. Thanatology | Certified Meeting Professional (CMP) | BA Hospitality, Tourism, and Event Management | Certified End-of-Life Doula (Death Doula) At Celebration of Life, Colorado, I provide families with the ultimate gift: time. While you focus on your immediate emotional needs and the physical transition of your loved one, I step in to handle the heavy lifting and logistics of planning a bespoke Celebration of Life so you can simply be present. (Please note: Celebration of Life, Colorado does not handle the physical disposition of remains, but we provide the resources you need while we build the vision for your gathering). Connect with Christina: Celebration of Life, Colorado [https://www.celebrationoflife-colorado.com/]

Ep 03. Reclaiming the Return: A Guide to Natural & Alternative Death Care

Episode 3 Description: When someone passes, we are often conditioned to believe a clock immediately starts ticking, that we only have a few days to plan a somber, traditional funeral. But what if we separated the physical care of the body from the emotional gathering of the community? What if we gave ourselves the gift of time? In this episode of Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted, Christina explores how stepping away from a rushed timeline opens our minds to beautiful, bespoke alternatives for end-of-life care. From a fascinating look into the history of the funeral industry to soaring memorials among the stars, this episode shifts the narrative from the clinical disposal of remains to the beautiful stewardship of a legacy. What You’ll Hear in This Episode: * The Gift of Time: Why you don't have to rush a traditional funeral and the beauty of separating the physical transition from the celebration of life. * A Brief History of Saying Goodbye: How the Civil War moved death out of our home "parlors" and why alternative death care is just a return to our roots. * Green Burial & Gentle Transitions: Exploring Green Burials, Water Cremation (Alkaline Hydrolysis), and Terramation (Human Composting). * The Canvas of Cremation: Transforming ashes into functional vinyl records, walking sticks, river stones, diamonds, and even memorial spaceflights. * Living Legacies: How Eternal Reefs and Science Care donations actively heal the world and advance medicine. * Global Inspiration: Shifting the feel of a goodbye through South Korean glass beads, Ghanaian fantasy coffins, Mexican Ofrendas, and New Orleans Jazz Funerals. * Building the Vision: How the physical disposition serves as the foundation for a deeply personal, intimate celebration of life, and why you should tour a local facility. Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode: * Eternal Reefs (Marine-grade memorial reefs): eternalreefs.com [https://www.eternalreefs.com/] * Science Care (Whole-body donation for medical research): c [https://www.sciencecare.com/]sciencecare.com [https://www.sciencecare.com/] * Celestis (Memorial spaceflights): celestis.com [https://www.celestis.com/] * Parting Stone (Solidifying ashes into river stones): partingstone.com [https://partingstone.com/] * Creative Cremation Inspiration: Top 31 Cremation Ashes Ideas [https://lonestarcremation.com/2021/11/01/top-31-cremation-ashes-ideas-you-should-consider/] * Global Funeral Traditions: Funeral Traditions from Around the World [https://www.legalandgeneral.com/insurance/over-50-life-insurance/funeral-planning/funeral-traditions-from-around-the-world/] Disclaimer: Celebration of Life, Colorado focuses exclusively on the design and coordination of bespoke memorial events. While we provide education and resources to help families navigate their choices for physical disposition, we do not handle human remains or provide mortuary services. Our role is to empower you with the information you need to make the right decisions for your loved one, while we focus entirely on creating a beautiful, cohesive celebration of life. Next Week: We are stepping away from logistics and into a deeply personal space. Christina sits down with her husband, Gerald, for a raw, unscripted conversation about the long shadow of childhood grief and what it was like for him to lose his father at eleven years old. About Your Host: Christina Holohan M.A. Thanatology | Certified Meeting Professional (CMP) | BA Hospitality, Tourism, and Event Management | Certified End-of-Life Doula (Death Doula) At Celebration of Life, Colorado [https://www.celebrationoflife-colorado.com/], I provide families with the ultimate gift: time. While you focus on your immediate emotional needs and the physical transition of your loved one, I step in to handle the heavy lifting and logistics of planning a bespoke Celebration of Life so you can simply be present.