Off the Fence with Karen Covy: Mastering Decision Making, Divorce & More

How to Develop Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationships

44 min · 8. juli 2026
episode How to Develop Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationships cover

Description

If you've ever set a boundary that someone ignored, and then felt stuck between becoming a doormat or issuing an ultimatum, this podcast episode is for you. Licensed psychotherapist Dr. Sharon Martin joins the show to talk about healthy boundaries: what they really are, why so many people struggle with them, and why the way most of us think about boundaries is making holding our boundaries harder, not easier.  Dr. Martin unpacks why boundary problems show up differently for different people, and why the same person can swing between being a pushover and being rigid depending on the situation. She also explores the hidden ways boundary problems develop, including enmeshment, codependency, guilt, perfectionism, and past relational wounds.  Dr. Martin also reveals how healthy boundaries are less about controlling other people and more about understanding your own needs and focusing on what you can control. Through practical examples, including parenting, workplace conflicts, and high-conflict divorce situations, Dr. Martin demonstrates how small shifts in perspective can lead to greater freedom, less frustration, and healthier relationships. The result is a fresh and empowering framework that may change the way you think about boundaries altogether.  About Dr. Sharon Dr. Sharon Martin, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping adults recover from the effects of a difficult childhood, overcome feelings of unworthiness, and learn to set boundaries. She writes extensively about codependency, perfectionism, and healthy relationships, including her popular blog, “Conquering Codependency,” for Psychology Today. Dr. Martin is also the author of four self-help books, including The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism. Connect with Dr. Sharon You can connect with Dr. Sharon on LinkedIn at Sharon Martin, LCSW [https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharonmartinlcsw/] and on Facebook at Sharon Martin, LCSW [https://www.facebook.com/sharonmartinlcsw/]. You can also follow her on YouTube at @SharonMartin [https://www.youtube.com/@SharonMartin] and on Instagram at dr_sharon_martin [https://www.instagram.com/dr_sharon_martin/]. To learn more about working with Dr. Sharon, visit her website at Live Well with Sharon Martin [https://www.livewellwithsharonmartin.com/]. And you can find her book, The Better Boundaries Workbook, here [https://betterboundariesworkbook.com/]. It is also available at most bookstores. Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@karencovy95]. You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/karencovy/], Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/KarenCovy], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/karencovylawyer/], Twitter [https://twitter.com/KarenCovy], and on her own website at karencovy.com [https://karencovy.com/].

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192 episodes

episode How AI Can Help You Get a Better Divorce Settlement artwork

How AI Can Help You Get a Better Divorce Settlement

Most people going through divorce focus on finding a good attorney … but that might be the single biggest financial mistake you make. Jamie Lima, certified divorce financial analyst, certified financial planner, and co-founder of SecureSplit, knows that from personal experience. Watching his parents' divorce strain the family financially, then going through his own costly split in 2017, shaped everything about how he now helps people navigate the financial side of divorce so they can get a better divorce settlement. In this podcast episode, Jamie breaks down why relying solely on your attorney can cause you to leave serious money on the table, what a divorce financial team actually looks like, and how AI and specialized software are beginning to reshape divorce-related financial analysis.  Jamie also talks about SecureSplit,  a platform he designed to eliminate the expensive duplication of effort that happens when attorneys, CDFAs, and clients are all working in disconnected systems. He also pulls back the curtain on how AI is quietly reshaping divorce proceedings in ways most people aren't prepared for. From how to prompt AI tools so they actually give you useful information, to the privacy risks most people never consider, to why your ChatGPT history could end up as evidence in your own case, Jamie offers a surprisingly practical (and at times very sobering!) look at what it means to be a smart, informed advocate for yourself in a modern divorce. The tools are powerful. The mistakes are costly. And knowing exactly what you're doing is critical. About Jamie Jamie Lima launched Allegiant Divorce Solutions as a sister company to his traditional financial planning firm after navigating his parents' divorce at a young age and experiencing his own emotionally and financially draining divorce in 2017. With nearly 20 years of financial planning experience, Jamie intimately understands the immense financial challenges individuals face during a split. Realizing that the costly mistakes made in his own divorce could have been avoided with the right support, he became a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®. Today, Jamie is dedicated to helping clients navigate the complex financial aspects of divorce to secure fair settlements with significantly less stress. Connect with Jamie You can connect with Jamie on LinkedIn at Jamie Lima [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamielima/] and follow him on Instagram at Allegiant Divorce [https://www.instagram.com/allegiantdivorce/]. To learn more about how to work with Jamie, visit his websites at Allegiant Divorce Solutions [https://allegiantds.com] and SecureSplit [https://securesplit.com]. Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@karencovy95]. You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/karencovy/], Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/KarenCovy], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/karencovylawyer/], Twitter [https://twitter.com/KarenCovy], and on her own website at karencovy.com [https://karencovy.com/].

15. juli 202640 min
episode How to Develop Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationships artwork

How to Develop Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationships

If you've ever set a boundary that someone ignored, and then felt stuck between becoming a doormat or issuing an ultimatum, this podcast episode is for you. Licensed psychotherapist Dr. Sharon Martin joins the show to talk about healthy boundaries: what they really are, why so many people struggle with them, and why the way most of us think about boundaries is making holding our boundaries harder, not easier.  Dr. Martin unpacks why boundary problems show up differently for different people, and why the same person can swing between being a pushover and being rigid depending on the situation. She also explores the hidden ways boundary problems develop, including enmeshment, codependency, guilt, perfectionism, and past relational wounds.  Dr. Martin also reveals how healthy boundaries are less about controlling other people and more about understanding your own needs and focusing on what you can control. Through practical examples, including parenting, workplace conflicts, and high-conflict divorce situations, Dr. Martin demonstrates how small shifts in perspective can lead to greater freedom, less frustration, and healthier relationships. The result is a fresh and empowering framework that may change the way you think about boundaries altogether.  About Dr. Sharon Dr. Sharon Martin, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping adults recover from the effects of a difficult childhood, overcome feelings of unworthiness, and learn to set boundaries. She writes extensively about codependency, perfectionism, and healthy relationships, including her popular blog, “Conquering Codependency,” for Psychology Today. Dr. Martin is also the author of four self-help books, including The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism. Connect with Dr. Sharon You can connect with Dr. Sharon on LinkedIn at Sharon Martin, LCSW [https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharonmartinlcsw/] and on Facebook at Sharon Martin, LCSW [https://www.facebook.com/sharonmartinlcsw/]. You can also follow her on YouTube at @SharonMartin [https://www.youtube.com/@SharonMartin] and on Instagram at dr_sharon_martin [https://www.instagram.com/dr_sharon_martin/]. To learn more about working with Dr. Sharon, visit her website at Live Well with Sharon Martin [https://www.livewellwithsharonmartin.com/]. And you can find her book, The Better Boundaries Workbook, here [https://betterboundariesworkbook.com/]. It is also available at most bookstores. Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@karencovy95]. You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/karencovy/], Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/KarenCovy], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/karencovylawyer/], Twitter [https://twitter.com/KarenCovy], and on her own website at karencovy.com [https://karencovy.com/].

8. juli 202644 min
episode The Truth About Parental Alienation That No One Talks About artwork

The Truth About Parental Alienation That No One Talks About

If your child has started pulling away from you, or saying things that sound nothing like them, you may already know something is deeply wrong, even if you can't prove it yet. In this podcast episode, high-conflict divorce strategist and domestic violence advocate Lisa Johnson, explores the complicated reality of parental alienation and explains why it’s often far more subtle (and more difficult to recognize) than most people realize. She shares how seemingly small actions and unspoken messages can slowly damage a child’s relationship with a parent over time.  Rather than focusing on labels or accusations, Lisa dives into what actually matters to judges and custody evaluators: patterns of behavior, their impact on children, and the practical challenges families face when conflict spills into co-parenting. You'll discover why proving parental alienation can be so difficult, how children can become caught in the middle without fully understanding what's happening, and why some of the most damaging behaviors are often the hardest to see.  The conversation also offers thoughtful strategies for parents who want to protect and strengthen their bond with their children during and after divorce. From improving communication to encouraging critical thinking and resilience, Lisa shares practical ideas that can help parents respond more effectively when relationships become strained. If you've ever wondered how children are affected by ongoing parental conflict, or what parents can do to help, this discussion provides insights that may challenge what you think you know.  About Lisa Lisa Johnson is the co-founder of Been There Got Out, a high-conflict divorce strategist, and a certified domestic violence advocate specializing in legal abuse. She dedicates her expertise to helping individuals navigate situations where an ex uses the legal system to wear them down and deplete their resources. Alongside her partner, Chris, Lisa coaches people through high-conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and difficult co-parenting situations. Her ultimate goal is to help clients secure the best possible outcomes in family court while lowering conflict to protect the well-being of their children. Connect with Lisa You can connect with Lisa on LinkedIn at Been There Got Out [https://www.linkedin.com/company/been-there-got-out/] and on Facebook at Been There Got Out [https://www.facebook.com/BeenThereGotOut]. You can follow her on YouTube at @BeenThereGotOut [https://www.youtube.com/@BeenThereGotOut], on X at @BeenThereGotOut [https://twitter.com/BeenThereGotOut], and on Instagram at been_there_got_out [https://www.instagram.com/been_there_got_out/]. To learn more about how to work with Lisa, visit her website at Been There Got Out [https://beentheregotout.com/]. And you can find her latest book, When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You, here [https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183/]. Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@karencovy95]. You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/karencovy/], Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/KarenCovy], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/karencovylawyer/], Twitter [https://twitter.com/KarenCovy], and on her own website at karencovy.com [https://karencovy.com/].

1. juli 202639 min
episode Think Using AI in Divorce Saves Money? Think Again artwork

Think Using AI in Divorce Saves Money? Think Again

If you've ever thought about using AI in your divorce to save money on legal fees, this podcast episode might drastically change the way you do it. Family law attorney Hillary Moonay, who co-chairs the Family Law Group at Obermeyer Rebman Maxwell & Hippol LLP and has spent 30 years in the trenches of Pennsylvania family law, shares the hidden risks AI poses in divorce cases, especially to clients who accidentally don’t use it well. From privacy concerns to unintended legal consequences, Hillary explains where AI can create risks that most people never see coming. For example, uploading a custody evaluation to ChatGPT could expose your children to fraud. Using an AI bot to analyze what your attorney told you can dissolve your attorney-client privilege. Having AI draft your legal documents can produce legal garbage and end up costing you MORE than if you hadn’t used it at all. Hillary breaks down the difference between using AI as a helpful organizational tool versus relying on it to make legal decisions, while highlighting the hidden details and nuances that generic AI-generated documents often miss.  If you're navigating divorce and trying to be smart about costs, this conversation offers a much clearer picture of where AI helps, where it hurts, and what questions to ask. About Hillary Hillary Moonay co-chairs Obermayer’s Family Law Group and manages the firm's Bucks County office. Her practice focuses exclusively on family law, all phases of the negotiation and litigation of domestic relations cases, including divorce, child custody, child support, alimony/spousal support, equitable distribution, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, mediation, arbitration, and related issues. Moonay is the Past Chair of the PBA’s Family Law Section and serves on the Board of Managers for the AAML’s Pennsylvania Chapter. She also serves on the Domestic Relations Law Advisory Committee of the Joint State Government Commission, the bipartisan research agency of the Pennsylvania General Assembly. Connect with Hillary You can connect with Hillary through her LinkedIn page or through Obermayer's website at www.obermayer.com. Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@karencovy95]. You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/karencovy/], Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/KarenCovy], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/karencovylawyer/], Twitter [https://twitter.com/KarenCovy], and on her own website at karencovy.com [https://karencovy.com/].

24. juni 202637 min
episode How The Best Interest Co-Parenting App Can Give You Peace artwork

How The Best Interest Co-Parenting App Can Give You Peace

If you've ever felt your heart race the moment a message pinged from your co-parent, you already understand the problem that Sol Kennedy set out to solve. Sol is the founder of the Best Interest Co-parenting App, an AI-powered app born directly from his own high-conflict divorce experience. When you’re locked in a high-conflict coparenting relationship you know all too well how quickly a simple logistics message can turn into a 30-text argument that ruins your day and spills into your parenting. Traditional co-parenting apps didn’t address the specific needs found in high-conflict co-parenting so Sol created an app that does.  The Best Interest Co-Parenting App gives you AI coaching before you send a message, tone checks that help you say what you mean without escalating a conversation, and instant awareness of any potential parenting plan violations your conversation might trigger. It reviews outgoing messages for conflict triggers before you hit send, and filters incoming ones, stripping away charged language so you only see what's actually relevant to your kids.  And the best part of the app is that you don't even need your co-parent to download the app for it to work. If you’re locked in a high-conflict co-parenting situation and every message your ex sends ties your stomach in knots, this conversation, and the Best Interest Co-Parenting App can literally change your life. About Sol Sol Kennedy is the founder of BestInterest, an AI-powered co-parenting app designed to reduce conflict and protect children from the emotional fallout of high-conflict separation. Sol's mission is simple: help parents move beyond reactive communication, protect their peace, and create calmer outcomes for their kids—even when the relationship between adults is strained.  Connect with Sol You can connect with Sol on LinkedIn at Best Interest App [https://www.linkedin.com/company/bestinterestapp] and on Facebook at Best Interest App [https://www.facebook.com/bestinterestapp/].  You can follow Sol on Youtube at @BestInterestApp [https://www.youtube.com/@BestInterestApp] and on Instagram at Best Interest App [https://www.instagram.com/bestinterest.app]. To learn more visit the website at Best Interest App [https://bestinterest.app/]. Special offer BestInterest is an app that helps co-parents to communicate and experience peace in their co-parenting relationship. It is available for download in the App Store or Play Store, or at https://bestinterest.app/app. Get $10 off by entering code OFFTHEFENCE Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@karencovy95]. You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/karencovy/], Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/KarenCovy], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/karencovylawyer/], Twitter [https://twitter.com/KarenCovy], and on her own website at karencovy.com [https://karencovy.com/].

17. juni 202637 min