She Asked God Why. He Taught Her How with Patty Stewart
In this episode of the Peaceful Hugs Podcast, hosts Mark Z and Lorelei Cromer sit down with Patty Stewart — missionary kid, pastor's wife, nurse, musician, and author of No More Pat Answers: Living in the Not Knowing — for one of the most quietly powerful conversations the show has ever had. Patty's story spans continents, decades, and depths of suffering most people will never know — and yet she tells it with a warmth and honesty that makes you feel like you're sitting across the table from a dear friend.
Born in 1948 in Mashhad, Iran — smuggled in unknowingly by her missionary parents before she even existed on paper
Patty grew up on a compound near the Afghan border surrounded by fruit trees, tire swings, donkeys, and a community of faith that felt like one big extended family. It was also where she first encountered the kind of poverty that breaks a child's heart and plants a seed that never quite leaves. She met her future husband Tat when she was two weeks old and he was two years old. It was not, she jokes, love at first sight.
After returning to the U.S. in 1964 and building a life, a marriage, and a young family, Patty found herself pulled back — not by her own desire, but by a letter, a prayer, and a quiet but unmistakable shift in her heart. She and Tat returned to a post-revolution Iran that looked nothing like the one they'd known, raising two blonde children in a culture that stopped to stare, teaching a Sunday school class in two languages, and ministering to women who were quietly falling apart far from home. Then came the newspaper. Their photos. The word "spies." And seven days to get out of the country — driving through darkened alleys with no headlights, two half-asleep children in the back of a Land Rover, not knowing if they'd make it to the airport alive.
But the hardest chapters, Patty says, came later. A traumatic brain injury in 2012 that left her at 93 pounds, unable to move, staring at a knife in the dark. Anxiety so severe that no medication, no therapy, nothing could touch it. Years of waiting, asking God why — and slowly, painstakingly, learning to stop asking why and start asking how. Her book, No More Pat Answers, is the culmination of that journey: a raw, honest, deeply personal account of what faith actually looks like when the darkness won't lift and the answers don't come.
The conversation also turns to Iran today — and Patty shares what happened when she posted about her book in Farsi on Instagram and half a million Iranians responded.
Chapters
00:15 Welcome & Introduction to Patty Stewart
02:30 Smuggled Into Iran Before She Was Born — Life in Mashhad
07:00 Growing Up on the Compound: Fruit Trees, Tire Swings & a Heart for the Poor
11:20 Meeting Tat at Two Weeks Old & Coming Back to America in 1964
14:45 The Letter That Changed Everything — God Shifts Patty's Heart to Return
19:30 Waiting Out the Revolution: Six Months in New Jersey, Then Back to a Different Iran
24:00 Raising Blonde Kids in Post-Revolution Tehran & Ministry to Expatriate Women
29:15 Teaching Sunday School in Two Languages (and One Kid Who Ate the Elmer's Glue)
33:00 The Iranian Children's TV Show That Told Kids to Bomb Americans
35:30 Illness, Breakdown & the Order to Leave in 10 Days
39:45 Fleeing Under Cover of Darkness — The Airport Story
46:00 "Party of Stuart, Please Step Out of Line" — First Class Out of Iran
49:30 The TBI, 93 Pounds & Learning to Live One More Day
55:00 Anxiety So Severe She Looked at a Knife in the Dark
59:30 From "Why" to "How" — The Question That Changes Everything
1:03:00 Half a Million Iranians on Instagram & What They Said About Her Book
1:07:15 The Prince of Persia — Spiritual Warfare and the Battle Over Iran
1:11:00 Western Comfort vs. What the Iranian People Are Enduring Today
1:14:30 Best Life Advice: Just Wait One More Day
1:16:00 Book Recommendation: The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee
1:17:30 About No More Pat Answers: Living in the Not Knowing
Get Patty's Book
No More Pat Answers: Living in the Not Knowing — available on Amazon
About the Peaceful Hugs Podcast
The Peaceful Hugs Podcast is a space for thoughtful, real conversations about faith, culture, purpose, and the stories that shape us. Hosted by Mark Zahringer and Lorelei Cromer, the show brings together voices from different backgrounds and generations to explore what it means to live with empathy — especially when the world feels loud, polarized, and quick to judge. At the center of it all is a simple idea: kindness matters, and we can't afford to lose it.
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