Say More with Brooke Lyons
Welcome to Say More [https://brookelyons.substack.com/s/say-more], the podcast where we go beyond the performance. In this series, I sit down with creators, healers, and thought leaders to explore how they navigate life’s crossroads—especially when the old scripts no longer serve. Today’s guest is Dr. Noelle Santorelli [https://www.instagram.com/drnoellesantorelli/]—psychologist, trauma specialist, and the voice behind one of the most honest conversations happening online around Mean Girl Mom culture [https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6PjHe1spHI/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==] and relational aggression. If you’ve ever felt the chill of the silent treatment at school drop-off or the covert cruelty inside a so-called sisterhood, this one’s for you. We talk about what relational aggression really looks like among adults, why this behavior spikes in high-performing communities, and how to break the cycle before it reaches our kids. Noelle shares her framework [https://stan.store/drnoellesantorelli?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAacHPUNaOAFeRlun6pPM0WcQsNFr4m1jmkytoOpqQw862rtIG8pK-pdR3mdQwQ_aem_8qaNV80eySV_xyRKuOVlnA] for setting low-lift boundaries, naming toxicity without shame, and raising emotionally intelligent children by modeling authentic relationships ourselves. — 🎙️ Connect with Noelle Instagram: @drnoellesantorelli [https://www.instagram.com/drnoellesantorelli/] 💫 Connect with Brooke Instagram: @brookielyons [https://www.instagram.com/brookielyons/?hl=en] Substack: We Need to Talk About [https://brookelyons.substack.com/] — 🔑 Key Themes * Understanding relational aggression in adult communities * Why Mean Mom behavior isn’t just petty—it’s psychological * The covert ways parents shape their kids’ social dynamics * Scarcity mentality in high-achieving environments * The myth of “being nice” and the power of authentic boundaries * How to break cycles of emotional harm—without losing your center — 🧭 Chapters 00:00 Mean Mom Culture: The Personal Wake-Up Call 06:03 From Trauma Work to Toxic Systems 09:05 What Is Relational Aggression, Really? 12:20 Why This Behavior Spikes in Motherhood 17:01 Scarcity, Control, and Social Hierarchies 21:11 How It Impacts Our Children—Overtly and Covertly 29:19 What to Do When You Can’t Walk Away 31:34 Recognizing When You’re Playing Along 34:50 The Art of Disrupting the Cycle Gently 36:24 Where Do We Draw the Line? 40:17 Authenticity ≠ Rudeness 43:20 Acceptance as a Nervous System Reset 47:01 Why Pain Is Inevitable—but Suffering Isn’t 51:35 Affluence, Anxiety, and the Pressure to Perform 53:23 Three Tools to Break the Cycle — 🧰 Resources * Follow [https://www.instagram.com/drnoellesantorelli/]Noelle [https://www.instagram.com/drnoellesantorelli/] on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/drnoellesantorelli/] for tools, insights, and upcoming guides * We discussed Jennifer Wallace’s book [https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/about-never-enough]Never Enough [https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/about-never-enough] (on pressure, performance, and parenting) * Noelle recommended the book Danielle Bayard Jackson’s book [https://www.betterfemalefriendships.com/fighting-for-our-friendships] Fighting for Our Friendships [https://www.betterfemalefriendships.com/fighting-for-our-friendships] — 🎙 Hosted by Brooke Lyons Actress [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1885129/], writer [https://brookelyons.substack.com/], mother, mystic, and voice behind https://brookelyons.substack.com/s/say-moreSay More [https://brookelyons.substack.com/s/say-more]—a podcast that explores identity, reinvention, and what happens when you stop performing and start telling the truth. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit brookelyons.substack.com/subscribe [https://brookelyons.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]
6 episodes
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