72. Why 'Just Start' Advice Doesn't Work for Women in Their 30s and 40s

76. My Real Off Campus Story (Sexual Assault Survivor, Final Episode)

Okay… so this is a heavy one. Like, really, really heavy. If you've watched Off Campus on Prime Video, you know that Hannah's storyline as a sexual assault survivor hit different for a lot of us — but for me, it hit different different, because it's my story too. This episode is me finally telling it. All of it. The parts I've never said out loud in public, the parts I only just told my husband Kevin, and the parts that took me 12 years and a Forever 21 plastic bag full of old clothes to be ready to share. A heads up that this is also the final episode of Small Girl Big Talk. I talk about why toward the end (PS: it has nothing to do with this story and everything to do with adulting 🥲) Trigger warning: this episode talks openly about sexual assault, consent, depression, and PTSD. Please take care of yourself first. If you need to pause, skip around, or sit this one out completely, that's okay. I made the chapters below so you can navigate it on your terms. A few things you'll hear in this one: * why Off Campus felt like watching my own university years back at me * the moment I didn't know I'd been assaulted until I read a poster on a bathroom door * what actually happened when I went to my university's Sexual Assault Centre (and why I'm still grateful for it) * the wild plot twist involving my birthday, my assault, and meeting my husband * the dress and the skirt I kept for over a decade… and what I'm finally doing with them * why I'm wrapping up this podcast, and how to stay in touch with me after this If you're new here — hi, I'm Wendy. this is probably not the first impression I would've picked for you, but I hope you stick around for the other, lighter sides of me too. 🌻 Keep in touch with me via my Newsletter: https://wendyvaz.substack.com/ [https://wendyvaz.substack.com/] 🌼 Work with me: https://coaching.wendyvaz.com/ [https://coaching.wendyvaz.com/] 📸 Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendyvazzy [https://www.instagram.com/wendyvazzy] If this episode brought something up for you, please don't sit in it alone. Reach out to someone you trust, or a professional, or a helpline in your country. You’re not alone in this. Chapters below 👇 0:00 Intro Why I'm Obsessed With Off Campus 1:16 Heads Up: This Is the Final Episode + Trigger Warning 3:33 Why This Story, Why Now 7:34 Sitting Down to Tell the Story 9:40 The First Incident 11:18 The Second Incident — My 21st Birthday 12:15 Realizing It Was Rape 16:25 Off Campus Parallels — Hannah's Story Mirrored Mine 18:11 Why the Sexual Assault Centre Helped (Even Though It Hurt) 22:19 More Off Campus Moments That Hit Home 24:09 Thank You Elle Kennedy and all the Cast and Crew 26:07 The Dress & Skirt — What I'm Going to Do With Them 27:38 Why I'm Ending Small Girl, Big Talk 31:16 The Hopeful Ending — Meeting Kevin, Healing, Marriage 33:20 How to Keep in Touch 34:18 Thank You + Reflecting on the Show's Seasons 36:36 Showing the Dress & Skirt #OffCampus #SexualAssaultSurvivor #SmallGirlBigTalk

75. She Quit Her Engineering Job to Sell Ice Cream | ft. Genevia Chin from Wonkie Ice-Cream

What does it actually take to leave a comfortable life behind and build something from scratch? In this episode, I sat down with my friend Genevia, the founder of Wonkie Ice Cream in Penang, for a conversation that was packed with SO MUCH wisdom 🤯 On the surface, it's a story about a girl who quit her engineering job in Singapore to sell ice cream; but when we really dived deep into the real journey… We talked about how it’s all about learning to trust yourself, dealing with imposter syndrome, figuring out who you are when you step outside the identity you've always known, and building something that actually feels like you. We got into: — why feeling miserable in a "good" job is information worth listening to— how she went from home deliveries during MCO to running a full storefront— why imposter syndrome is actually a signal (not a stop sign)— what pitching to investors taught her about the rational vs. emotional mind— the "lazy entrepreneur" approach to systems and delegation— and the one question she asks herself every time fear shows up This one's for anyone who's been sitting on a dream and waiting for the right moment. 🌼 Work with me: https://coaching.wendyvaz.com/ [https://coaching.wendyvaz.com/] 🌻 Newsletter: https://wendyvaz.substack.com/ [https://wendyvaz.substack.com/] About Genevia: Genevia is the founder of Wonkie Ice Cream, an ex-engineer who traded formulas for flavours and sees ice cream as a blank canvas for curiosity, creativity, and connection. Through Wonkie, she’s building a world that inspires people to explore life with more playfulness and courage, one unexpected scoop at a time. 🍦 Genevia’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geneviachin/ [https://www.instagram.com/geneviachin/] 🍨 Wonkie’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wonkieicecream [https://www.instagram.com/wonkieicecream] TIMESTAMP: 0:00 intro – meet Genevia & Wonkie Ice Cream 1:27 how we met in 2019 - the start of Genevia’s entrepreneurship journey 2:36 her corporate life in Singapore & why she was miserable 5:03 the phone call to her mom that changed everything 6:11 why she never even thought about finding another job 7:05 following joy as a compass before she even quit 8:47 does running a business kill the passion? 10:28 delegate what doesn't spark joy 11:21 the moments she almost broke down 12:29 burnout, mindfulness & her morning routine 15:08 the identity shift: corporate girl to business owner 15:54 imposter syndrome is a signal, not a stop sign 19:42 why she chooses action over overthinking 20:45 pitching to investors & opening the storefront 23:12 selling the dream vs. knowing your numbers 24:39 when people question your vision, don't take it personally 26:41 finding the right mentor for where you are 28:46 feminine energy in business – inside out 31:34 the lazy entrepreneur's guide to SOPs 34:02 releasing the guilt of stepping back from your own business 36:13 what's next for Genevia 39:89 advice for anyone with a dream: what's the worst that could happen? 41:16 closing thoughts – make the unknown known 🌼 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendyvazzy [https://www.instagram.com/wendyvazzy] 👻 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wendyvazzy [https://www.tiktok.com/@wendyvazzy] For sponsorship and collaboration: hello@wendyvaz.com [hello@wendyvaz.com]

74. Becoming Her Starts Before You Feel Ready | ft. Nicole Koke & Rae Fung

In this episode, i sat down in my living room with my friends, Nicole from Canada and Rae from Singapore, for an honest conversation about our shared journey as creators and entrepreneurs. We talked about manifestation (in a practical, non-fluffy way), what it really takes to step into a version of yourself you haven't fully become yet, and why so many of us are waiting for permission that was never ours to ask for in the first place. if you've ever felt like you're not ready, not qualified, not enough yet to go after what you actually want — this one's for you. We got into: * why showing all of yourself online attracts better people than niching down ever will * what manifestation actually looks like when you strip away the aesthetics * Nicole's journey from shy introvert to confident creator (and what actually shifted) * why your confidence matters more than your credentials * how to use your voice even when you're scaredand why becoming her starts way before you feel ready If you've been in a season of reinvention, trying to build confidence, use your voice more boldly, or step into your next-level self — I think this conversation will really resonate with you. 🌼 Work with me: https://coaching.wendyvaz.com/ [https://coaching.wendyvaz.com/] 🌻 Subscribe to my newsletter: https://wendyvaz.substack.com/ [https://wendyvaz.substack.com/] About Rae: Rae has been shifting the energy of rooms since she was 15 — as an emcee, speaker, and coach. Her career proves that "too young, too short, too inexperienced" are just stereotypes that don't have to limit you. Rae doesn't just teach you how to speak, she guides purpose-driven leaders to align their inner and outer voice to create a presence that's impossible to ignore. 📍 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raematrix/ [https://www.instagram.com/raematrix/] 🎙️ Podcast: https://tinyurl.com/oyvpod [https://tinyurl.com/oyvpod] 🎓 Free Training: https://www.raefung.com/instant-access-webinar [https://www.raefung.com/instant-access-webinar] About Nicole: Nicole is a YouTuber, coach, and entrepreneur on a mission to help 9-5ers build a side hustle and dream life beyond their jobs. She integrates Buddhist philosophy and ancient health and wellness practices into her work and everyday life.▶️ YouTube: www.youtube.com/@itsnicolesyk [http://www.youtube.com/@itsnicolesyk] 📍 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsnicolesyk [https://www.instagram.com/itsnicolesyk] 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/that-confident-creator/id1674637666 [https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/that-confident-creator/id1674637666] Timestamps: 0:00:00 intro – meeting friends from the internet & authentic connections 0:02:33 why putting yourself online attracts aligned people 0:05:15 why authenticity matters more in the age of AI 0:06:30 building genuine community through shared values 0:07:20 manifestation, spirituality & attracting your people 0:12:50 how to write/speak authentically and attract alignment 0:14:45 balancing creativity, intuition & business strategy 0:16:00 the artist trap: why beautiful content doesn't always convert 0:17:15 why failure is necessary for identity shifts 0:18:11 how manifestation actually works beyond positive thinking 0:18:36 visualizing your future identity clearly - Rae's vision 0:23:10 Nicole's journey from shy introvert to confident creator 0:25:10 it's okay to pivot - Wendy's change in vision 0:28:41 small courageous steps build self-confidence 0:33:58 anything worth creating has risks - the sacrifices along the way 0:41:54 dealing with parent's objection in an unconventional path 0:48:13 fear and anxiety in the early stages of entrepreneurship 0:51:55 your dreams are delusions if you're not practical with money and strategy 0:55:21 thoughts and beliefs that guided Nicole's identity shifts 0:58:52 our human tendency to focus on negative thoughts 1:00:45 say yes first, figure it out later mindset 1:03:14 main character energy and lucky girl syndrome 1:04:04 an easy way to approach surrendering 1:06:50 using your voice even when you're scared 1:10:35 final reflections & where to find Rae + Nicole For Sponsorship and Collaboration: hello@wendyvaz.com [hello@wendyvaz.com] FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:🧡 SGBT Instagram: @smallgirlbigtalk🌼 Wendy's Instagram: @wendyvazzy💛 Wendy's Tiktok: @wendyvazzy

73. Why I Resisted Calling Myself a Coach (And What Finally Changed) | Rebuilding Life in 30s

There’s something I haven’t openly talked about for a long time — why I resisted calling myself a coach. In this episode, I’m sharing the honest behind-the-scenes of what the last few months have looked like as I’ve been rebuilding my identity, my work, and my direction in this season of life. Identity shifts aren’t clean or linear, especially in our 30s when career, finances, and relationships all feel intertwined. I talk about doing the work before feeling ready, the resistance I felt stepping into this next version of myself, and the realiSations that changed how I see growth, consistency, and aligned action. If you’re in a phase where you know something is changing — but you can’t fully name it yet — this conversation might feel very familiar. Toward the end, I also share the 4 pillars behind my identity shift coaching work and who it’s really for. If you’ve been quietly feeling the nudge to rebuild, realign, or step into something bigger… this episode is for you. 🌼 Work with me: https://coaching.wendyvaz.com/ [https://coaching.wendyvaz.com/] 🌻 Subscribe to my newsletter: https://wendyvaz.substack.com/ [https://wendyvaz.substack.com/] Timestamp: 0:00 intro — why i resisted calling myself a coach 0:46 identity shifts are always a work in progress 2:43 rebuilding life and identity in your 30s 3:45 this season’s focus: career, finances & relationships 4:40 the biggest questions during an identity shift (who am i becoming & how do i make money?) 5:41 what happened after i quit my job 7:19 doing the work before you feel ready 7:46 honest reflection after 4 months of showing up consistently 8:43 when consistency keeps you stuck in the wrong direction 10:23 how growth compounds when you stay committed 11:15 aligned action vs forced productivity 12:08 why i resisted calling myself a coach 15:50 what finally changed for me 17:45 are you hiding from your next level? 19:10 the 4 pillars behind my identity shift coaching framework 23:01 invitation to work with me For Sponsorship and Collaboration: hello@wendyvaz.com [hello@wendyvaz.com] FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:🧡 SGBT Instagram: @smallgirlbigtalk🌼 Wendy's Instagram: @wendyvazzy💛 Wendy's Tiktok: @wendyvazzy

72. Why 'Just Start' Advice Doesn't Work for Women in Their 30s and 40s

If the advice to “just start” actually worked… we all would’ve done something by now, right? In this episode, we’re talking about why so many women in their 30s and 40s feel stuck, and why it’s not because you’re lazy, unmotivated, or scared. We talk about the different types of stuck-ness and why change feels heavier when you’re older compared to your 20s. I also share about the 4 pillars that helped me move forward, and why I believe it’ll help you move forward too. If you’ve been feeling behind, overwhelmed, or frustrated with yourself, you have to watch this now. 🌼 Apply for 1-on-1 Coaching with me now: https://coaching.wendyvaz.com/ [https://coaching.wendyvaz.com/] TIMESTAMP: 0:00 intro – you’re not lazy or scared, you’re just stuck 0:58 the three types of feeling stuck 1:05 “i don’t know what i want” 1:49 “i know what i want but i can’t move” 2:39 “i want too many things at once” 4:10 changing in your 20s vs your 30s 5:01 why the stakes feel higher now 6:21 invisible responsibilities women carry 7:30 the evidence you’ve collected that says you’re not enough 8:27 4 pillars to break out of feeling stuck 9:40 mind: shifting mindset & building mental resilience 10:40 body: nervous system safety before action 11:32 systems: small sustainable steps that actually work 13:06 community: why you can’t do this alone 14:11 reflection homework for next week 16:20 outro + working together If you liked this video, you might also enjoy: * When Did Wanting More in Life Start Feeling Wrong? | Life in Your 30s - https://open.spotify.com/episode/4UPCJhCJNKsSPlGFVtlp60?si=fe98b407e58b412b [https://open.spotify.com/episode/4UPCJhCJNKsSPlGFVtlp60?si=fe98b407e58b412b] * Imposter Syndrome Stopping You from Achieving Your Goals | It's Not Mindset—It’s Your Nervous System - https://open.spotify.com/episode/6dZd61OuVLwsKG7ldeKdcp?si=7a11e013d7a64cfd [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6dZd61OuVLwsKG7ldeKdcp?si=7a11e013d7a64cfd] * Declutter Your Life: Reset Your Space, Mind, and Goals - https://open.spotify.com/episode/2iZFhIRpzwdM8649mk1Sgw?si=a96a4a4bb17b4738 [https://open.spotify.com/episode/2iZFhIRpzwdM8649mk1Sgw?si=a96a4a4bb17b4738] * Your Comfort Zone Is Quietly Stealing Your Life - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3acxsda6ddvygx89eAyIbp?si=6bac058822694c42 [https://open.spotify.com/episode/3acxsda6ddvygx89eAyIbp?si=6bac058822694c42] Follow for more:🎬 Follow me on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@WendyVaz/ [https://www.youtube.com/@WendyVaz/]🌻 Subscribe to my newsletter - https://wendyvaz.substack.com/ [https://wendyvaz.substack.com/]🌼 Follow me on IG & TikTok: @wendyvazzy For Sponsorship and Collaboration: hello@wendyvaz.com [hello@wendyvaz.com]