Sober Disclosure

Episode 64: "Wear your Sobriety like a Straight Jacket or a Loose Garment" with Jaden

This week, we sit down with Jaden, who has a year and a half sober and a story rooted in resilience, identity, and discovering who she truly is without substances. Jaden shares that this is her first real attempt at sobriety. Before finding recovery, she tried to do it on her own — with her longest stretch lasting only a few weeks. Without knowledge of recovery or support, the cycle always pulled her back in. For nearly a decade, she was involved in sex work, with meth as her drug of choice, fueling a lifestyle that became increasingly difficult to escape. She opens up about trying to get sober in Mexico, only to find herself using again after connecting with someone on a dating app. Back in the States, she entered a relationship with a man who had years of sobriety before they met — someone who would ultimately introduce her to recovery, but also become part of the chaos. Their relationship was marked by cycles of using, dishonesty, and instability, even as he planted the idea that they both needed to get sober. Jaden’s first experience with treatment, in Santa Monica, didn’t stick. She admits she was doing it for other people, not for herself. After leaving early, she immediately returned to using. But everything began to shift when she got a call from a place called Vera Sanctuary. This time, something felt different. Surrounded by nature and a sense of peace, Jaden began to open up. Listening to panels and hearing others’ stories gave her a sense of hope she hadn’t felt before — and for the first time, she truly leaned in. Her journey wasn’t without setbacks. Around 60 days into the program, her partner — who claimed to be sober — tested positive. Despite initial confusion and denial, the truth surfaced. During a brief time together, Jaden relapsed, resetting her sobriety date. Not long after, she learned he had been pursuing other relationships while she was in treatment. That became a turning point. When he relapsed again, Jaden made the decision to walk away for good. Since then, she has remained committed to her recovery. She chose not to date during her first year, focusing instead on building a foundation within herself. When she finally did begin dating again, it came with new awareness — and new challenges. In this episode, Jaden speaks candidly about navigating sobriety as a trans woman living with HIV. While she is no longer detectable, she shares the emotional weight of stigma and the difficulty of feeling truly seen and accepted. It’s an honest and vulnerable look at the layers of identity that continue to shape her journey. Today, Jaden has come full circle — now working at the same treatment center that helped change her life, leading groups and giving back to others who are where she once was. Her message is both simple and powerful: find out who you are in sobriety. The growth, she says, lives in the things we try to avoid. And ultimately, recovery is a choice — you can wear it like a straight jacket, or like a loose garment. Jaden’s story is about reclaiming your life, embracing your truth, and learning that happiness isn’t something you find — it’s something you build, one honest step at a time.

Episode 63: “The Two-Year Exit Plan That Changed Everything” with Jacob

This week, we sit down with Jacob, who has two and a half years sober and a story that captures the quiet shift from doing recovery for others… to finally choosing it for yourself. Jacob opens up about a thought he carried with him early on — an “out” he had already planned. In his mind, he would stay sober for two years, and then most likely go back home, because deep down, he didn’t feel like he was doing it for himself. While he had always been social before sobriety, his first two years were marked by isolation and loneliness, leaving him questioning what this life was really for. That began to change when he attended Camp Sober Fest to celebrate two years sober. It was there, surrounded by connection and community, that something clicked. For the first time, Jacob found a reason to stay sober that actually belonged to him. Looking back, his story before sobriety was filled with chaos and broken promises. He shares about a trip to Martha’s Vineyard, where he had committed to staying sober for his family — a promise that quickly unraveled. Within days, he found himself using again, eventually leading to a blackout, a confrontation with his dad, and a night spent in jail on the island. That moment became a turning point. After refusing to return to his family’s house, he stayed with his aunt, where his sister called and предложed a new plan: go to California and get sober. What was supposed to be a quick turnaround became delayed when Jacob tested positive for COVID, forcing him to sit still longer than he wanted. But eventually, he made it to California — this time with a different opportunity in front of him. Although he had been to treatment before, Jacob admits the goal was never true sobriety — just learning how to manage his drinking. This time was different. He committed to a long-term program, staying in treatment for a full year and fully immersing himself in recovery. Once there, Jacob hit the ground running. He quickly got a sponsor and worked the steps within three months — and then did them again. And again. Now on his fourth round of steps with his fourth sponsor, he shares honestly about the struggle to find the right connection — someone he could call without it feeling forced. That willingness to keep trying reflects the deeper work he’s committed to today. He stayed busy in the rooms, attending up to nine meetings a week and building a foundation through consistency. By six months sober, he was already secretary of three meetings, a role that helped him build accountability and connection. For Jacob, simply showing up — over and over again — became the key to finding his place. In this episode, Jacob also speaks to his experience as one of the only Black men in many of the rooms he attends, something that mirrors much of his upbringing. While he acknowledges the lack of diversity in Orange County, he shares his perspective with honesty — recognizing both the challenges and his own experience within it. He reflects on early sobriety mistakes, including going out to bars during his first few months — something that eventually caught up with him when his sober living found out. Watching friends relapse during that time became a powerful lesson that helped reinforce his own commitment. He also shares about navigating relationships in sobriety, including dating someone who relapsed, and how he learned to sit with life as it is — without escaping. As his sobriety grew, so did his life. From learning how to build a resume and work a “normal” job, to gaining experience in sales and eventually transitioning into a role as an overnight tech at a treatment center, Jacob began to see a future take shape. Now, he’s back in school pursuing a business degree, with the goal of one day owning his own detox and residential facility. At the heart of Jacob’s story is a simple but powerful message: keep showing up. Even when it feels awkward, even when it feel

Episode 62: “From Locked Doors to Real Freedom” with Mauricio

This week, we sit down with Mauricio, who has two years of sobriety and a story that speaks to identity, resilience, and finding belonging in a world where he often felt like he didn’t fit. Originally Colombian, Mauricio grew up in South Central Los Angeles, navigating life between cultures — feeling “too white” for the Hispanic community and “too Hispanic” for everyone else. As a gay man, that sense of not belonging only deepened, shaping both his identity and his path into addiction. Mauricio shares how he first got sober after hitting a breaking point while squatting in someone else’s condo. Desperate, he called his parents for help, and they arranged for him to go to a treatment center in Mexico. What followed was an experience he describes as surreal, confusing, and ultimately traumatic. After visiting an upscale facility that left him overwhelmed and fearful, Mauricio chose to trust his parents’ judgment and entered a second center — one that, in his state at the time, felt almost like a movie set. But within weeks, the reality became clear. His detox took place in what he describes as an old horse stable, locked and isolated. He wasn’t allowed to contact his family or leave, and punishments for attempting to escape were severe. Guards monitored patients constantly, and conditions were harsh and inhumane. Mauricio spent four and a half months there before his father began to realize something was wrong and brought him back to the United States. Once home, Mauricio entered an IOP through an LGBTQ center, beginning the process of rebuilding his life. But even then, he admits his mindset hadn’t fully shifted — telling himself that once he got back on his feet, he would eventually drink again. And he did. After reaching a little over a year sober, Mauricio relapsed and quickly found himself back in the depths of addiction. This time, it led him to a spiritual bottom — a moment where he finally surrendered and asked God for help. What happened next felt nothing short of divine. Someone from AA, who had seen him on Grindr, reached out unexpectedly just to check if he was okay. For the first time, Mauricio told the truth. Within minutes, that person showed up at his door and took him to a meeting — a moment Mauricio describes as the beginning of everything changing. Unable to return to residential treatment, he went back to the LGBTQ center and committed to IOP once again — this time with a different willingness. Since then, he has remained sober. Today, Mauricio has found purpose in giving back. He started his own Spanish-speaking meeting in Los Angeles, creating a space for others who, like him, may have struggled to find where they belong. He credits this community and service as one of the most meaningful parts of his recovery. Mauricio’s story is one of survival, identity, and the power of being seen. It’s about what happens when you finally stop running, tell the truth, and allow yourself to be found — proving that even in the darkest places, connection and recovery are possible.

Episode 61: Learning to Let Go- Sobriety, Control, and Starting Over with Cody

This week, we sit down with Cody, who has six and a half years sober and is navigating one of the most challenging seasons of his recovery — going through a divorce from his husband. Cody’s story begins long before sobriety stuck. He knew he had a problem as early as high school, and at 19, he attended his first AA meeting after a friend invited him. It was in a garage, filled with smoke, and when newcomers were asked to share, Cody felt overwhelmed. He broke down crying, admitting he was terrified of ruining his life. But despite that moment of honesty, he wasn’t ready. Soon after, he moved to San Francisco, where his addiction escalated and he spent years avoiding recovery altogether. It wasn’t until six years later that Cody returned to a meeting — this time meeting Jimmy, and for the first time, showing up for himself. Even then, the shift didn’t come easily. Watching people laugh in the rooms, he assumed they must be high, while he himself was still using edibles. When his sponsor encouraged him to take a newcomer chip, it triggered something in him, and he walked away from sobriety again — leading to another year of using. That year became one of the darkest periods of his life. Cody describes feeling completely alone, confronting what his future could look like if nothing changed. In a moment of surrender, he stopped fighting it — fully leaning into his addiction before finally reaching a breaking point. He called his parents and admitted the truth: he was a full-blown alcoholic. From there, Cody entered treatment, beginning a new chapter that would ultimately reshape his life. He shares vivid memories from that time, including creating an alter ego — complete with a wig — out of fear of being recognized by people in AA while he was still going out to clubs. Beneath the humor of those moments was a deep fear of being seen. While in treatment, a therapist recognized something in Cody that he hadn’t fully seen in himself — suggesting he consider becoming a therapist. That moment planted a seed, ultimately guiding him toward the work he does today and offering a powerful lens through which he understands both himself and others. In this episode, Cody opens up about his patterns in relationships — especially his tendency to rely on others for stability and his desire to control and shape his partners. Through therapy and Al-Anon, he’s begun to unpack those patterns, learning to shift the focus inward and take responsibility for his own growth. He also shares about recently getting an Al-Anon sponsor and the profound connection he feels with them — recognizing a sense of peace and relief that he deeply wants for himself. Through his grand-sponsor, he’s learning an important distinction: while AA is a program of giving back, Al-Anon asks something different — to turn inward, to focus on self-care, boundaries, and rediscovering personal interests and identity. This conversation dives deep into the principles of Al-Anon and the often-overlooked work of learning to sit with yourself. Cody’s story is one of honesty, self-awareness, and transformation — showing that sobriety isn’t just about stopping substances, but about unlearning patterns, facing yourself, and continuing to grow through life’s hardest moments.

Episode 60: “Yes, You’ve Been Here Before — But You’ve Never Been Beyond” with Courtney

This week, we sit down with Courtney, who has two and a half years sober and a story that speaks to the exhausting cycle of trying, relapsing, and believing you might never actually make it out. Originally from Texas, Courtney moved to California 13 years ago in search of sobriety — a journey that took her through treatment an estimated 26 times. Courtney had managed to reach one year sober twice before, only to relapse shortly after each milestone. Looking back, she realizes much of her sobriety felt performative — something she was doing for everyone else rather than something she truly wanted for herself. Her goals were always short-term: just make it to the next milestone. But once she hit a year, she didn’t know what to do with her life beyond that point. With no vision for the future, she’d convince herself she could just go out for one day — and the cycle would begin again. As she puts it, getting high never stopped “working” for her, even though the consequences kept getting worse. Courtney also opens up about the complicated relationship with her biological father and the deep work she’s had to do in therapy to unpack how that relationship shaped her identity, her self-worth, and ultimately her addiction. When she got sober this time, life didn’t suddenly become easier. At just two months sober, Courtney found out that her long-term ex-boyfriend, Connor, had died from an overdose. Grief hit hard, and she describes much of her first year sober as a blur — sleeping through the pain while still trying to show up for a brand new job and a new relationship. Throughout her addiction, Courtney’s mom had helped her get into treatment again and again — but always with strong boundaries when Courtney was actively using. This time was different. When Courtney said she wanted to get sober again, her mom told her she would have to do it herself. Looking back, Courtney believes that shift may have been one of the reasons this sobriety stuck. Today, she takes a different approach to recovery. Courtney hasn’t taken a single sobriety chip — not because she’s not proud, but because she doesn’t want to put pressure on herself or create another milestone she feels she has to perform for. For someone who once believed she would never stay sober, simply being here today feels like a miracle. She also shares how becoming a house manager at just two months sober gave her purpose and structure during the most fragile time of her recovery. Looking back, she believes God was orchestrating things in ways she couldn’t understand at the time — placing people and opportunities in her life exactly when she needed them most to carry her through Connor’s death and into a deeper level of sobriety. One moment that changed her perspective came while sitting in detox for what she believes was the 27th time. She was reading a book when a thought unlocked in her mind: “Yes, you’ve been here before… but you’ve never been beyond.” For the first time, Courtney realized that while she had repeated the same cycle for years, she had never actually seen what life looked like past that one-year mark. And maybe — just maybe — there was a bigger life waiting for her if she stayed. Courtney’s story is about persistence, humility, and the quiet courage it takes to try again — even when you’re convinced you’ll fail. Because sometimes recovery doesn’t start with confidence… it starts with the simple willingness to go farther than you ever have before.